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We talked to Dr. Gleb Tsipursky about this topic and he gave some amazing insights: "Researchers have discovered that we have, roughly speaking, two systems that determine our mental processes: the 'autopilot system' and 'intentional system.' The autopilot system corresponds to our emotions and intuitions. This system evolved to help us survive in the ancestral savanna environment and mostly relies on the amygdala, the older part of the brain. It guides our daily habits, helps us make snap decisions, and reacts instantly to dangerous life-and-death situations. The snap judgments resulting from intuitions and emotions usually feel 'true' and 'right' precisely because they are fast and powerful. We feel very comfortable when we go with them. Decisions arising from our gut reactions are indeed often right in those situations that resemble the ancient savanna."

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread Turned around and went back home because I forgot my car keys.

I was driving.

anon , Lisa Fotios Report

Final score:

601points

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Oliver 1 year ago

HAHAHAHA *gasp* HAHAHA

191points

I used to work at McDonald's drive-thru. 5 days a week, 8hrs a day; so I had been hard-wired to say, "Welcome to McDonald's. How can I help you today?" Every single time I heard the headset beep. Straight-up Pavlovian.

One day there was a particularly wily fly that was always just a second ahead of me. I became very focused on killing this fly.

I don't know how many times I said it before a coworker finally stopped laughing long enough to tell me, but it turns out I'd been saying "Welcome to McDonald's. How can I kill you today?" To every car in the drive-thru.

Not one customer even paused or acknowledged the fact that Ronald McDonald threatened them with murder. They just wanted their goddamn nuggets.

katieisalady Report

Final score:

593points

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Kel Jones 1 year ago

Lol

112points

However, Dr. Gleb shared that the 'autopilot' isn't really necessary anymore: "Unfortunately, in too many cases they’re wrong. Our modern environments have many elements that are unlike the savanna. With growing technological disruption, ranging from teleconferences to social media, our modern world looks less and less like our ancestral environment. The autopilot system will therefore increasingly lead us to make disastrous decisions, in systematic and predictable ways, which are called cognitive biases."

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread I sat there at an intersection in suburban Palo Alto at 11PM, patiently waiting for the stop sign to change.

anon , Erik Mclean Report

Final score:

510points

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Kate Haslam 1 year ago

Drunk drivers will run through a stop sign; stoned drivers wait for it to turn green.

312points

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread When I was in high school and living on the family farm, I used to feed the horses and barn cats every morning. Waking up at 6am for this as a 16 year old guaranteed that I was half asleep. So, I grabbed the cat food like I always did, walked to the table where my cat's bowl was like I always did, and poured some in. My cat always jumped up on the table right away to start eating right away, and one morning as something jumped up in front of me I absentmindedly pet it as usual. The hair felt a little rough so I looked down and instead of my friendly orange cat, there was a skunk. Just chilling there eating the cat food while I pet its back.

danseaman6 , Robert Bieber Report

Final score:

506points

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Oliver 1 year ago (edited)

That skunk is living its best life

300points

Dr. Gleb explains the intentional system in our brains that contrasts the autopilot: "The intentional system, by contrast, reflects rational and analytical thinking. It centers around the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that evolved more recently. This thinking system helps us handle more complex mental activities, such as managing individual and group relationships, logical reasoning, abstract thinking, evaluating probabilities, and learning new information, skills, and habits. While the automatic system requires no conscious effort to function, using the intentional system requires a deliberate effort to and is mentally tiring. Fortunately, with enough motivation and appropriate training, you can learn to turn on the intentional system in situations where the autopilot system is prone to make systematic and predictable errors."

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread As a teenager, I worked at McDonald's. My McDonald's was 24 hours and, during the summer, I worked the overnight shift. My sleep schedule would get all messed up.

My parents woke me up for dinner one evening. I zombie walked to the table and sat down. My dad asked me to say grace. I bow my head and say, "thank you for choosing McDonald's, may I take your order?"

arndta , Robi Pastores Report

Final score:

455points

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BoredPanther 1 year ago

"One side of nuggets pls" "that’ll be $4.99” “Ok now say the blessing pls” “Welcome to McDonald’s. How can I kill you today?"

374points

FecesInYourFaces , Fabrizio Verrecchia Report

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread I took the metro home then realized i drove to work.. that was a long night.

Final score:

446points

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John Olpenda 1 year ago

hahahaha same! I went home commuting late at night even though I used my motorcycle at morning going for work.

88points

"We tend to think of ourselves as rational thinkers, usually using the intentional system. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The autopilot system is by far the more powerful of the two systems, determining 80-90 percent of what we do, think, feel, and decide. Our emotions often overwhelm our reason. Moreover, our intuition and habits dominate the majority of our lives. We’re usually in autopilot mode. That’s not a bad thing at all, as it would be mentally exhausting to think through our every action and decision. However, it’s bad when this system makes the same errors, again and again. Fortunately, you can use your intentional system to interrupt these errors. You can change your automatic thinking, feeling, and behavior patterns to avoid mental blind spots."

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread I made the best ever chicken stock, lovingly simmered for 24 hours. Then, without thinking, I put the colander in the sink and tipped the stock down the drain, saving the scraps. I cried.

pedazzle , Melissa Doroquez Report

Final score:

429points

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all 4 paws 1 year ago

I would cry too, although i cry over more things than i should. "No use crying over spilled milk" BUT WHAT IF IT SPILLS ON MY LAPTOP

146points

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread Was jogging late at night. A guy reached out his hand in front of me as I passed.

I high-fived him.

Turns out he was hailing a taxi.

Derped_my_pants , Lara Jameson Report

Final score:

398points

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ShadeCalico 1 year ago

The guy was probably super confused

152points

DIDNT_READ_YOUR_SHIT , laura adai Report

All in all, both of these parts of our brain are quite important: "It’s crucial to recognize that these two systems of thinking are counterintuitive. They don’t align with our conscious self-perception. Your mind feels like a cohesive whole. Unfortunately, this self-perception is simply a comfortable myth that helps you make it through the day. There is no actual 'there' there; your sense of self is a construct that results from multiple complex mental processes within the autopilot and intentional system. When I first found that out, it blew my mind (every part of it). It takes a bit of time to incorporate this realization into your mental model of yourself and others, in other words, how you perceive your mind to work. Bottom line is that you’re not who you think you are."

#10

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread 1. Unwrap candy.
2. Throw candy in trash
3. Stare at wrapper

Final score:

395points

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Kel Jones 1 year ago

I have done this...it is devastating and traumatic. Especially if it's the last piece.

164points

#11

I woke up from a deep sleep having the feeling that there was an earthquake going on so naturally I call to my wife who I realized was in the living room reading and asked her if everything was okay and she asked why? I said there was just an earthquake is everything okay she said no you just farted in your sleep and woke yourself up. I went back to bed....

Final score:

386points

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Puffy Panda 1 year ago

If she could hear it from out there, then you got a problem.

142points

We also spoke to Instagram account Psychology Facts (we made an article about them which you can check out by clicking here) and they also shared their insights on this topic: "The human brain's autopilot system, also known as the default mode network, can sometimes lead to bizarre or unexpected behavior. The default mode network is a group of brain regions that are active when an individual is not focused on a specific task. It is thought to play a role in self-reflection, planning, and daydreaming. When the default mode network is active, an individual may find themselves engaging in behaviors that seem unusual or unexpected to others, as their brain is not fully focused on the present moment."

#12

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread I dropped my pants when going through TSA....For those who fly in the super early morning it can be rough. I purposely didn't drink coffee so I could sleep on the plane...

I was on the security line, and did the normal routine of taking stuff out of my pockets and putting them in my laptop bag. Then off with the shoes, placed on top of my luggage, then off comes the belt as usual. Then of course when you take off your belt you take off your pants.....uhhh Nope damnit. Put them back on and WTFed for a moment as I finished up in security. Luckily not *that many* people fly at like 430am.

anon , EasySentri Sentri Report

Final score:

367points

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Jodi Rinker 1 year ago

I bet if you'd just kept going, real casual and folded them up and just continued in your underwear, somebody would've potentially followed suit thinking security has just updated to be stricter yet again

254points

#13

Tapped a picture in the newspaper hoping to see the full article. Took me a good 5 seconds to realize where I messed up.

Grimmcartel Report

Final score:

355points

POST

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago

I once clicked a video pause button… in a damn photo in a book

34points

MisterEvilBreakfast , Andrea Piacquadio Report

"For example, someone might find themselves absentmindedly walking into a room and forgetting why they went there, or getting lost in thought while driving and missing their turn. These behaviors can be a result of the brain's autopilot system misfiring, as the individual's attention is not fully on the task at hand."

#14

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread Rubbed aftershave in my hair and put gel on my face.

The worst part was that after I put the aftershave in my hair, I laughed at myself, thought, "F**k, what was all that about?" and then added the hair gel to my skin.

Final score:

349points

POST

BOTW PANDA 1 year ago

Once my brother put his shampoo on his shower towel, then proceeded to shower, without washing his dusty hair, and it was hilarious. Came out smelling for all he's worth like shampoo.

61points

#15

Drove to work and realized when I got to the parking lot that I forgot to drop the kids at school. The kids knew too and stayed quiet thinking they'd get to miss school. Love those sneaky little devils.

islavistan Report

Final score:

337points

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Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago

A bit like the woman who left her toddler in the car instead of dropping her off at daycare and didn't realise it until she heard a little voice say "Yay I get to go to work with Mommy!" (She realised how badly it could have ended if the kid hadn't spoken up, and sensibly took it as a warning to take some time off and get more sleep).

130points

They also shared their own personal experience with autopilot: "The most bizarre thing I’ve caught myself doing after my brain’s autopilot misfired was when I was still in high school. I was in a classroom and everyone was dead silent because we were working on our homework, and most of us wore earbuds and listened to music while working. I remember listening to 'Black and Yellow' from Wiz Khalifa, which I apparently found an incredible song as a 12-year-old, because I remember that out of nowhere, I started singing along loud and clear with the chorus. I did this for around 5 seconds before I noticed everyone was staring at me, and I should probably stop distracting the rest of the class."

#16

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread Night before last, I went to the back yard to bring the dog into the house. Autopilot moved my feet 10 or so steps out the door, telling the "dog" to come in. My brain then caught up and remembered the dog was in bed and I was indeed approaching a black bear that was eating watermelon rinds from the trash can.

warwatch , Aaron J Hill Report

Final score:

327points

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ShadeCalico 1 year ago

How are you still alive?

104points

#17

I had a very long day of computer drafting, think +12 hours sitting and staring at .5mm lines, and got really lost so I asked the person next to me what the hell I did wrong because they seemed like they would absolutely have the explanation. I got most of the way through the answer before I realized not only had I asked my frazzled reflection a question, but I also calmly and matter-of-factly responded. I went home after that.

voixdetonnerre Report

Final score:

302points

POST

genevieve 1 year ago

i love how you just responded to yourself unknowingly 😂

119points

"It's important to note that the default mode network serves important functions in the brain, and it is not always a negative thing when it is active. The human brain's autopilot system serves a number of important functions in the brain that help to support mental health and well-being. It allows individuals to take a break from the demands of the outside world and engage in activities that support self-reflection, planning, and creativity. While the default mode network can sometimes lead to unexpected or bizarre behavior when it causes an individual to become disengaged from their surroundings, it serves important functions in the brain and is not always a negative thing when it is active."

#18

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread The two that come to mind are while playing XBOX I got up to get a drink, then sit back down and can't find my freaking controller. I'm tearing cushions apart, looking under stuff, looking in drawers, etc. Turns out I took a soda out of the fridge and put the controller in the spot I took it from.

The other one happened the other day. Drove home from work, parked, went upstairs, opened the door, started to take off shirt. Then I remembered it was the middle of my shift and I hadn't left to go home, but just go buy a drink.

KMApok , Anton Porsche Report

Final score:

297points

POST

Purplescales 1 year ago

That second one is my nightmare, when I am home, there is no leaving for work until the next day.

98points

#19

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread Once I was laying in bed very tired watching tv. All the characters on the show piled into a car together, and I thought for a second "s**t I forgot to put my seatbelt on" before realizing I was safely in bed and no where near a car.

athena94 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

288points

POST

BoredPanther 1 year ago

HAHAHAHA dude its1:30 an and Im trying to laugh quietly so I don’t wake up everyone else

107points

"If you are someone who is struggling with a low mood, and is overthinking often, our new Dose formula might be of good use to you. Dose is a research-backed formula that teaches you step-by-step how to hack the production of your happiness chemicals. Me and Tj Power, who is a neuroscientist, have been working on this formula for over a year now, and we are finally able to offer it to you! Go to neurify.io and put yourself in a better headspace!"

#20

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread I was playing guitar and reached to grab a cracker, then I ate my pick.

A-Perfect-Triangle , Brent Keane Report

Final score:

285points

POST

JoyfulZebra 1 year ago

What did it taste like?

96points

#21

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread Jumped out of bed frantically. Put my clothes on. Brushed all the s**t on my floor under my bed..paused. And realised its 3am in the morning and I don't have school. I'm 23.

anon , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

282points

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Oliver 1 year ago

I’ve done that before scrambled out of bed and got dressed and everything. Mom looks at me then tells me it’s Saturday

87points

#22

My sister had a brain fart and left the water running in the kitchen.

I went to turn it off, and flipped the kitchen light switch. Repeatedly. Then started cussing when the switch wouldn't cut the water off. Then got my tool box and started taking the faceplate off the light switch so I could see why it wasn't cutting the water off.

At that point my other sister, who witnessed all of this, kindly pointed out that I had lost my ever loving mind and cut the water off herself.

Final score:

272points

POST

BoredPanther 1 year ago

You sure SHE had the brain fart?

152points

#23

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread When I was around 13 or 14 I woke up in the middle of the night, in my own bed and room, and thought to myself: I need to go home before my parents realize I'm not home. So I sneak out of the house, part of me obviously aware that my parents were sleeping and I needed to be quiet, and walked a block away. Then I realized I had been in my own room and just thought what the hell am I doing. So I walked back and snuck back into bed. So weird

marleylovestrees , Ron Lach Report

Final score:

257points

POST

BOTW PANDA 1 year ago

Ok I agree on the "so weird" comment.

72points

#24

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread After an 8 hour day of cashiering at Target(which has so many robotic-small talk conversations), I stopped at the dollar store. The conversation went something like:

Cashier: Hi, how are you?

Me: Good, how are you?

Cashier: I'm good, thanks.

Me: That's good. Did you find everything okay today?

That conversation was had to the effect of everyone in line and the cashier looking at me like I was psycho.

edit: I'm glad I'm not the only one who's done awk things on cashier autopilot! And thanks for the gold! <3

anon , Tom Official Report

Final score:

256points

POST

Rebekah 1 year ago

One Black Friday, a customer said "have a nice day". I responded with "love you too." It had been a long day.

157points

#25

I once got my car impounded via brain-autopilot.

I lived across the street from a gas station and didn't drive very often. Once I was filling it up, went inside to buy something, forgot I was getting gas, and walked home.

A few days later I reported my car stolen since I couldn't find it in the apartment garage. About a month later I get a call from the police, saying my car had gone up for auction and only then was it discovered it had been reported stolen. I had to pay about $1500 in impound fees to get it back.

Definitely one of the dumbest things I've ever done.

ungulate Report

Final score:

242points

POST

Roland Nijveld 1 year ago

Don't they try and contact the owners of the car first before they auction it?

111points

#26

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread There was a 6.0 earthquake at about 3 am so i was asleep. The quake lasted 20 seconds and I woke up about 16 seconds in standing in the hallway hugging a vase. What the f**k.

ApacheFYC , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

232points

POST

Ambitious Potato 1 year ago

NOT THE VASE! YOU MAY TAKE MY OTHER BELONGINGS, O FURIOUS AND MIGHTY EARTHQUAKE, BUT NOT MY VASE

165points

#27

The night before my very first day at work where I have to bring my own lunch. I got all the ingredients out to make my sandwich for tomorrow and immediately after I made it I walked into the living room turned on the tv and ate it.

Sonicman1223 Report

Final score:

230points

POST

Purplescales 1 year ago

Automatic feeding. That’s what disappointment tastes like.

6points

meow point1 1 year ago

TV dinner!

4points

xXSamTheBoxerLoverXx 1 year ago

TV for dinner. Yum.

2points

G'ma B 1 year ago

Yum!

0points

BoredPanther 1 year ago

id do that too XD

0points

#28

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread Tried to turn the sun off.

Bad hangover, opened my back door, feeling for the light switch.

No light switch, the light was day.

mauxly , Maggie Zhan Report

Final score:

224points

POST

Anti 1 year ago

worth a try

92points

#29

Came into work to work front of house after several extended nights of profound insomnia. I was holding up ok until a gal walks up with a dog in her arms. I always chat people up about their dogs because A. Dogs are awesome and B. people love to talk about their dogs, and often tip a little more when they feel like they've actually connected with you.

Today though... I didn't have two neurons to rub together to break from the script of "hey what can I get you... here's your total... do you want a receipt?" and so I lean over the counter like a drunk, lock my sleep-starved, unfocused googly eyes on this poor lady, and blurt out-

"your dog. Who is he" and then expectantly stare at her like that was a normal and not at all insane thing that I just kinda vomited at her. She kinda stared at me and clutched her dog a little closer and I think I probably went a little cross-eyed and tried to salvage the conversation by talking more. I don't remember what I said but it was definitely not an improvement on the situation. It may not have even been a coherent sentence.

SunOnTheInside Report

Final score:

218points

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HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago

Sleep deprivation does wonderfully disastrous things to people

116points

#30

Let's just say that now whenever I'm looking for my phone, the first thing I check is to see if it's currently in my hands.

Final score:

204points

POST

Scarlett O'Hara's Ghost 1 year ago

I do this more often than I'd like like to admit

72points

#31

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread I meant to put a brand new roll of toilet paper on the roll and instead just plopped it in the toilet.

anon , Vie Studio Report

Final score:

199points

POST

ShadeCalico 1 year ago

You're lucky it wasn't in 2020

129points

#32

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread Walked into the bathroom at work to pee, and instead of unzipping my fly, I unbuttoned my dress shirt, took it off, then took off my white undershirt as well. Then realized I was standing shirtless at a urinal and wtf'd.

ghettoeskimo , Ian Kirkland Report

Final score:

198points

POST

Oliver 1 year ago

I hope no one was there

61points

#33

Put cat food in the coffee maker. 10/10 would not recommend.

betterhalf Report

Final score:

198points

POST

all 4 paws 1 year ago

I am curious- did the cat enjoy it?? You did give it to the cat... right???

75points

#34

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread Trying to get into a random person's car because I thought it was my friend's. The person whose car I was attempting to break into was very terrified.

Rock-Facts , Jacob Morch Report

Final score:

187points

POST

BoredPanther 1 year ago

dude. I would’ve been terrified if some weirdo started trying to get into my car

70points

#35

Grabbed milk from the fridge

Grabbed a dinner plate from the cupboard

Began tilting the gallon jug toward the dish

Was about to pour myself a plate of milk when my mom walks by and asks what the f**k I'm doing

WeimarRepublic Report

Final score:

187points

POST

BOTW PANDA 1 year ago

Science?

72points

#36

Applying deodorant on my armpit with my shirt still on.

bits_of_paper Report

Final score:

182points

POST

Puffy Panda 1 year ago

Been there, am done that, and all I got was a stained t-shirt!

48points

#37

I was trimming a raw chicken breast and saw a spider in my kitchen. I screamed and immediately threw the chicken breast at the spider and embedded it in the meat. Whoops.

Edit: to those asking if I ate the chicken breast afterwards: I forgot to mention that the spider was on the floor.

Kalda907 Report

Final score:

182points

POST

HotDog Water 1 year ago

that is one way to kill a spider

79points

#38

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread I picked up my toothbrush to brush my teeth but I also had the urge to p**s, so I obviously toss my toothbrush into the toilet.

anon , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

175points

POST

BoredPanther 1 year ago

OBVIOUSLY….

80points

#39

Swished my mouthwash for a solid 30 seconds and then just spit it on the floor where I was standing.

popcornpause Report

Final score:

175points

POST

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago

Ah damn

35points

#40

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread I tried to mail my buddy a check, and it had been a while since I mailed anything. Long enough to forget how mail works apparently. What I did was I wrote my name and address in the center, and his name in the upper left hand corner. The letter then got returned to me. But still, my first thought wasn't, whoops, I failed at mailing this check. Instead it was, well I guess this stamp is old, and the price of stamps went up. So I put another stamp on it and sent it again, to myself, again. My mailman must think I'm r******d.

Shaw-Deez , John-Mark Smith Report

Final score:

169points

POST

Kel Jones 1 year ago

Please don't use that word, even about yourself.

122points

#41

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread Drove 20 min to my old house after I moved..was just zoning out

MycoBro , Peter Fazekas Report

Final score:

163points

POST

BOTW PANDA 1 year ago

Well, just saying hi to it's new inabitants.

43points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#42

Vigorously picking my nose while holding a cigarette and driving; crammed lit cigarette up my nose.

Final score:

161points

POST

TailsFangirl03 1 year ago

Two bad habits combine.

134points

#43

Turned up at work with the landline phone and my toddler's lunch.

Final score:

160points

POST

Somebodys grandmother 1 year ago

How did it go?

46points

#44

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread I was getting ready for work and had a contact in one hand and a vitamin in the other. Popped the contact in my mouth and washed it down with a glass of water. I'm sure the stomach acid took care of it.

anon , Adrienn Report

Final score:

155points

POST

Luna Crow 1 year ago

I can poop clearly now.. 🎶

17points

#45

Painting a picture, take a drink from the paint brush water instead of my coffee.

Lympwing2 Report

Final score:

155points

POST

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago

Done that before. 57000000/10 would not recommend. Especially if you actually *swallowed* it

68points

#46

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread I was making ramen noodles and a pitcher of crystal light at the same time. Berry flavored ramen is....not good.

SalsaPicanteMasFina , Ben Mason Report

Final score:

153points

POST

BOTW PANDA 1 year ago

My dad told me a story of him putting deodorant on his pizza, not recomended.

60points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#47

I found myself taking a bath with all my clothes on.

Never told anyone. Just went back to sleep.

Gentzzz Report

Final score:

152points

POST

Oliver 1 year ago

That’s the best option

55points

#48

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread I am currently at university and live on the fifth floor of a dormitory. All the floors are identical other than the colors of the paint on the wall. One day I was taking the elevator up to the fifth floor and I was sending a text to my mother. When I arrived at my floor a person I had never seen before got on the elevator. I consciously noted that it was weird because I knew everyone on my floor, but I walked to my room and walked in. My living room seemed slightly off and then a girl walked into the living room and casually goes, "what are you doing in my room." That's when I realized I had gotten off on an earlier floor and I just absentmindedly walked into someone else's room. Needless to say I got out of that room really fast after realizing what I had done.

anon , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

140points

POST

Puffy Panda 1 year ago

The person was so chill!

58points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#49

Leaving work, I had my hat in one hand and cell phone in the other. Something misfired and I put the cell phone on my head and hat in my pocket. There was a flashing realization that something wasn't right while standing their holding a phone to my bald spot and sporting a look of bewilderment.

I wish someone had seen it.

Final score:

139points

POST

Joséphine Godwin-Sens 1 year ago

My mashed potato brain thought you wrote “cat” instead of hat,sat on my couch for five minutes without realizing

44points

#50

it was 2am and way past bedtime, and I'd pulled an all nighter the previous night too. while finally clearing the table I was playing video games on, I decided to put all the water bottles away that had been out for days and days. I tossed the empty ones but my cat was being rambunctious and trying to open the trash can, so I picked her up.

I was holding my cat and putting some unfinished water bottles back in the fridge. she struggled free and hopped onto the counter but I was too tired to scold her so I continued grabbing huge amounts (6 or 7 at a time, both hands) of half-full water bottles from the counter and into the fridge

I pick them up, I put them in the fridge, I pick them up, i put them in the fridge, I pick her up. I put her in the fridge. I close the fridge. I take two minutes to finish up the dishes. I turn off the kitchen light. I hear faint mewing. I wake up. I open the fridge. she is so cold, but she is okay.

now every time I open the f*****g fridge she climbs in. sometimes I don't notice her and she's trapped for a moment until I hear mewing. and I know it's all my fault.

(edit to clarify that I don't just start new water bottles halfway thru. it's over days and days)

nbqt2015 Report

Final score:

138points

POST

Roland Nijveld 1 year ago

So you have like a dozen of opened water bottles and some have been open for days? Yuk....

38points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#51

One time my family traveled to Iowa and we stopped at a McDonald's, they were going through the drive thru but I needed to pee so I went inside. I went out the other exit when I was done and there was a red minivan just like ours so I went to my side and opened the door and wasn't paying attention, I sat down, buckled my seat belt and realized it was a bit different but I still did it. I looked around and the van was full of old people just staring at me, they all looked scared. My family was in the van behind laughing their butts off.

firestarian Report

Final score:

52points

POST

ᶜʰᵃᵒᵗⁱᶜ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ 1 year ago

why can I see myself doing this so well 😂

10points

#52

Man, where to begin.

* Trying to use my car keys to open my apartment door

* Putting in my contacts in the morning and instead dumping them in the toilet

* Dumping creamer in my water and drinking my coffee black

* Trying to find pants to wear only to realize I'm still topless and already wearing pants. Also was wearing the pants I was already wearing.

It's a surprise I can even make it out the door in the morning. Oh yeah, I tried to lock my door with a cigarette once. Doesn't work, it turns out.

SlutRapunzel Report

Final score:

47points

POST

Luna Crow 1 year ago

Hate it when I'm wearing the pants I'm already wearing.

37points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#53

Walked home from the shops, then remembered that not only had I actually driven but my house keys were still in the car.

Nodwchyddraig Report

Final score:

47points

POST

Telepathetic 1 year ago

Was the car still there when you got back?

11points

#54

When I was in high school I worked at a McDonalds. Most of my time I was on drive thru taking orders. You get the script down and go into auto pilot everyday you get to work. One day I'm taking an order and tell the man his total like always and tell him to pull forward to next window. It takes me about 5 seconds of staring at this man to realize that I am talking directly to him instead of over the headset. It takes about another 5 seconds for my brain to realize that I am working the front counter and there is no window for him to pull ahead to.

roadCo Report

Final score:

47points

POST

Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago

" Don't just stand there....pull ahead dumba**

20points

BuffyandtheHellcats Report

#55

Last night I picked up a box of cereal to put it away. I ended up accidentally taking it with me to bed.

Final score:

46points

POST

Kel Jones 1 year ago

I hope you were safe. Don't want to end up with a hybrid child.

37points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#56

Sometimes I will see something out of the corner of my eye and apparently your brain kind of does an autofill and tells you what you're seeing without actually seeing it. So I will be walking my dog and see a bush or something and think to myself for a split second "oh, there's an ostrich across the street". Then my I'm like "wtf is an ostrich doing here?!" and realize it's just a bush.

pennypoppet Report

Final score:

45points

POST

Mike Fitzpatrick 1 year ago

I had an aunt who was riding to church with her youngest son and his wife, paying attention to nothing. A semi was getting on the highway and she told her son "Timmy, watch out for the train!" His reply was "momma, on the interstate?"

18points

#57

During a period when I was unemployed for a few months I got into the habit of undoing my trousers before arriving at the bathroom. This lead to a very embarrassing situation I found myself in when I became employed again and just undid my belt and trousers in the hallway while heading to the toilet! Thankfully I realised what I was doing before I exposed myself to my new coworkers.

username_16 Report

Final score:

44points

POST

Purplescales 1 year ago

Pandemic autopilot’s going to doom us all.

30points

#58

I recently spent 10 minutes on the phone with statefarm trying to pull up my policy getting increasingly annoyed at the fact they couldn't find my policy number.

Then I remembered... I have progressive.

Never had state farm in my life.

AssCommander Report

Final score:

41points

POST

BoredPanther 1 year ago

Sounds like a defunct ad to me :)

9points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#59

Not something I did, but something I thought. I was mindlessly clearing off my computers desktop,I had just selected a huge batch of files to drag to the recycle bin. As I dragged them over the recycle bin, right after I let go of the mouse I thought, "Oh no, that was a big batch, I hope it doesn't overflow.".....That's when I knew it was quitting time.

AnotherDrZoidberg Report

Final score:

41points

POST

ᶜʰᵃᵒᵗⁱᶜ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ 1 year ago

anyone heard of popcat recycle bin?

10points

#60

My SO and buddy live in the same general area so if I go to one of their houses I take the same route. I sometimes show up at my buddy's door with him looking confused, exclaim f**k once I've realized I didn't mean to go to his house and walk off. Then my SO is upset that I am late to dinner and my friend is confused why I showed up just to say f**k.

TheDoctorRobert Report

Final score:

41points

POST

OnAFreakingRollercoaster 1 year ago

😆🤣🤣🤣

16points

#61

I'm not sure this necessarily counts, but I'm a sleep-eater. In the past 4 months, I've woken up trying to open a can of green beans with my bare hands and drinking from a gallon jug of soy sauce.

TheGreenShepherd Report

Final score:

40points

POST

Greymom 1 year ago

I have so many questions about why one would need an entire gallon of soy sauce?

19points

similar_observation Report

#62

I've thrown laundry detergent in the dryer on multiple occasions.

I'm also used to starting the morning coffee for the whole office at 6AM in the morning. One time I was late and autopiloted to the kitchenette. I tossed out a pot of freshly made coffee and started another pot.

This wasn't my own autopilot, but the most bizarre has got to be when an ex-girlfriend's dad dropped off my ex's kid at my house. I've only met the dad a handful of times before. He just drove up to my driveway, let the kid out, waved at me and drove off. After an awkward phone call, we ended up getting pizza and hanging out until the ex got off work to pick her son up.

Final score:

39points

POST

S Mi 1 year ago

Up vote for being an awesome human being to ex's child

26points

#63

I gave my three year old a pacifier and tried handing my newborn a cup of juice.

Final score:

39points

POST

Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago

Would have LOVED to see the reaction from 3yr old

14points

#64

50 Stupid Things People Did On 'Brain Autopilot,' According To This Viral Thread I just threw a knife in the garbage and washed some breadcrumbs

edit: also there was this one time I went along posting an askreddit question just like normal and in my absent mindedness I forgot to uncheck "send replies to my inbox" and then it got fourteen thousand comments. whoops.

Kirushi , Rubbermaid Products Report

Final score:

38points

POST

Giraffe 1 year ago

Once instead of throwing my dirty socks in my hamper, I threw them in the garbage. :-|

16points

#65

Got a bag of microwave popcorn and made it halfway up the stairs before realizing I didn't pop it.

Final score:

38points

POST

ᶜʰᵃᵒᵗⁱᶜ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ 1 year ago

*crunch tooths*

15points

#66

I put coffee in my dog's water bowl the other day. It was very early in my defense.

AtL_eAsTwOoD Report

Final score:

38points

POST

all 4 paws 1 year ago

caffeinated doggo

21points

#67

I was working at my computer and I had a cookie next to me. I finished the cookie and immediately took a bite out of the mouse, realised it was hard, sucked on it for a seconds then put it down. Only realised what I had done a few minutes later.

TheMightyFishBus Report

Final score:

36points

POST

Oliver 1 year ago

For a hot second I thought you meant an ACTUAL MOUSE

20points

#68

One time when I was a kid (elementary school), I woke up, walked to the kitchen (kinda half out of it), pressed down on the foot pedal of the garbage can to open it up and started peeing into it. My sis shouts out to my mum 'Mom! FarSightXR-20's peeing into the garbage!' I caught myself pretty quickly, but still.

Oops.

FarSightXR-20 Report

Final score:

36points

POST

oktopus 1 year ago

"FarSightXR-20"? One of Elon Musk's brood? (I jest).

1point

#69

There were several nights where I was super tired and very hungry, so I would make some Ramen noodles on autopilot, and the next morning I'd find my car keys in the refrigerator.

Still not sure why I opened the fridge to make Ramen noodles.

BurntUmberit Report

Final score:

35points

POST

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago

At least you didn’t have the keys chucked into the toilet… (don’t ask)

17points

#70

Put tomatoes and lettuce in the microwave after making a sandwich...and then turn the microwave on...

cpdion1 Report

Final score:

34points

POST

OnAFreakingRollercoaster 1 year ago

Zapped lettuce 🥬 yum 😉

7points

#71

Washed my hand with toothpaste and my teeth with soap. I didn't even have a wtf moment until it was too late.

Final score:

34points

POST

BoredPanther 1 year ago

oh that could be so hazardous for your health if u swallowed any of the soap

3points

#72

I worked at a sleep away summer camp for a few years and one summer I was put in the Tent of Death. It got it's name because there was a huge dropoff behind the tent platform because it was on a hill and they say a kid once died falling off. It used be like 5-6 feet, but they filled it in a while ago, so now it's only like 3-4. One of my first nights in the Tent of Death I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. Normally I would walk out the back, minding the drop off, then go an acceptable distance and pee. In my sleep induced grogginess I simply walked off the back, as if there was no drop off, and was reminded by the jolting pain going through my body that there was, in fact, a drop off.

michaelpinkwayne Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Kel_how 1 year ago

Sounds like the camp should move the tent

30points

#73

cought myself sauteeing fries once, and the sprouts were in the fryer.

cancerdancer Report

Final score:

33points

POST

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago

Wait. I need to know. How did that turn out?

16points

#74

"[Work place], [work department], this is Pokeeyejai; how can I help you?"

And then I realize I'm answering my personal cell phone... at home.

PokeEyeJai Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Just me, myself, and I 1 year ago

Yep, done that!

8points

#75

I'm a barista and I caught myself I trying to pour coffee into a cup sleeve, not attached to a cup.

Final score:

32points

POST

Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago

Except for the 2nd degree burns....

7points

#76

Drove my car to the student union to pick up a package, parked with my hazards on. After I got the package I got food and proceeded to walk back to my room and play GTA for 2 hours before getting a call from University police saying to move my car

DoucheTheThird Report

Final score:

32points

POST

#77

I wrote like 3 sentences of an email today without even realizing I was writing. They were completely not what I meant or needed to say.

edit - people want to know what I said. very uninteresting, just like "this item has a lead time of about 2 weeks, if you have any questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact us blah blah blah", when really I needed to give the guy some specific information about a part that we had in stock, so lead times didn't apply in the least.

Rukazor Report

Final score:

31points

POST

PastaNoodle Turduckin 1 year ago

I have sold automotive parts and service for years and this happens far more often than i think most folks realize

9points

#78

I had a little piece of clear plastic I ripped off my binder in my hand I was going to throw away. In the hallway though, I see the dude I have a crush on and he waves. I panicked, for some reason I decide that he cannot see I have this plastic under any circumstances. So you know what I do? I put it in my mouth and wave back. Success! Until, that is, I start choking on it. I had to run to the bathroom and drink from the sink in order to not die.

NovaFire14 Report

Final score:

30points

POST

urbibestie 1 year ago

how did he not see you put it in your mouth though?

12points

#79

Years ago I worked at an amusement park during the summer between college, and this one time I worked an eighteen hour shift because we were retrofitting a gift shop. So around hour sixteen I'm practically a zombie, and I go to take a p**s break and slam a Coke. This store wasn't my normal work spot in the park, but the employee break area was identical to mine. I go into the restroom, take a p**s in a stall, not even registering that there are no urinals. As I'm washing my hands another toilet flushes and a woman walks out, clears her throat and just stands there looking at me with her hands on her hips. The building was identical except they switched the restrooms around. I just stammered "sorry" and ran away.

improbablewobble Report

Final score:

28points

POST

urbibestie 1 year ago

i did that in kindergarten lol

8points

#80

I usually would stop at a gas station in the morning to get coffee. On more than one occasion I would open the little flavor cups and pour them in the trash instead of my coffee cup. Sometimes I would do this to 3 or 4 cups before I realize what I'm doing.

Big_Dad_E Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Hi, I'm Egle! If you made it onto this page, you may want to learn more about me. Would recommend reading works by Edgar Allan Poe much more than reading this bio, but suit yourself. I have plentiful interests, starting from the things I studied in university (Propaganda & Film, Sci-fi Writing, Psychiatry & History of Mental Illness, etc.) and ending with an addiction to tattoos, documentaries, and dancing in front of a mirror at 3am. I'm also a budding artist; I dabble in painting and drawing random bits of chaos. My favorite desert is Tiramisu.

Read less »

I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

Read less »

What do you think ?

POST

Kim Kermes 1 year ago

I haven't laughed this much in a while. Thanks, I needed that. And yes, I've my own brain derailments.

43points

RedMarbles 1 year ago

Yeah, these were fun. Bonus in that they made me feel better about the times my brain fails me.

20points

Bernd Herbert 1 year ago

Woke up, went into the bathroom. Back then the basket for dirty laundry was in the bathroom too. Again, woke up went in there, socks and underwear from previous day in my hand. Opened the toilet lid and threw my underwear in there, thinking it was the laundry basket...

26points

Julie Ann Al buzbeba 1 year ago

Lol...I hope you didn't then proceed to open the laundry basket thinking it was the toilet!!

21points

waddles 1 year ago

i have done that with socks

2points

Denise Melek 1 year ago

I did the same thing.

1point

Ryan-James O'Driscoll 1 year ago

I've had a few. One time while WFH my alarm went off in the morning and I simply obeyed the alarm, got up, made tea and logged into my laptop. I worked for about half an hour, wondering where all my colleagues were, before I realised the office was closed. Another time I was hunting for my glasses, getting very frustrated that I could not see. I had become so fixated on the search, having lost any sense of what I was actually looking for, that when I found them I put them on to make the search easier. I searched for another 15 minutes before I realised the thing I was looking for was literally on my face.

25points

AVGucky 1 year ago

My brother told me: after peeing he was desperately searching the thingy of the zipper fly, fiddling around for a good three minutes, swearing because he couldn't grab it, wondering how he's been able to open the fly at all ... until he noticed that he's wearing button fly-pants.

9points

Miriam Gwynn 1 year ago

Once called my phone to find it… from my phone.

18points

BannedFromABoatShow 1 year ago

Needed a glass of water. Grabbed my cat’s pill to give to her. In the time it took to walk to the living room I realized I was holding both water and a pill so I probably needed to take it. That was an embarrassing call to poison control.

15points

AVGucky 1 year ago

Did it harm you? Hope it didn't! You made me laugh tho 🤭 Recently I misunderstood myself when talking to myself. Confused myself and forgot what I've been talking about... Still can't think of it without starting to cry laughing 🤣 but not telling details 🫣 too embarrassed!

9points

Devil's Advocate 1 year ago

Is it just me, or is it concerning how many people seem not to worry much about driving their car when their brain clearly isn't working?

14points

Gwyn 1 year ago

It is concerning that they drive but also some jobs are dangerous if you are drowsy too. I wonder if they can't take time off, our society failing us all through lack of time off and health care, etc

11points

Brechje Geutjes 1 year ago

I'm 37 years and since a half year I've got my drivers license. So my entire life I was the passenger, not the driver. When I finally had my own car it happened more than once, that I opened the car and took place on the passenger seat, just waiting an invisible driver will drive me home. I guess, lol.

12points

AVGucky 1 year ago (edited)

Hahaha! Better than my friend who had the license since many years and the car too. She sat down on the backseat - puzzled because there was no steering wheel! No joke, but when she told me we couldn't stop laughing for at least 10 minutes!

9points

Julie Ann Al buzbeba 1 year ago

Went up to the cashier at CVS one time to pay for my items, and was having a little Convo with her about how I had spent like 40 minutes ripping apart my house before I left for the store trying to find my eyeglasses. I never found them which is why, I told her, that I was wearing my old, taped up, broken pair. She smiled at me and proceeded to tell me that my good, missing pair were on top of my head. Nice.

12points

Mike Crow 1 year ago

My sister woke up and came down stairs spitting and swearing that she didn’t get first chair for the flute in band. Then she went back up to her room and fell asleep. She had graduated a year ago.

11points

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago

These are so relatable…

11points

Alex Martin 1 year ago

When my company moved me to Texas to open a shop they let me use a white Chevy truck while I worked out getting my stuff shipped down from my old house. This truck had keyless entry. In south Texas, a white truck is the most common vehicle. I could never find this truck when I went shopping. I'm at Target getting stuff for work load it up and head out to the lot. Find my truck, unload the cart in to the back and climb in the truck. I'm sitting in the truck confused, trying to figure out when my windshield got cracked and why there is a baby seat in the back. Oh c**p. I quickly dismount the vehicle, get my stuff from the back of what is clearly not my truck, and gtfo of there. This is Texas and you'll get shot getting in another person's truck. My truck has keyless entry, theirs just had unlocked doors. My loaner truck now has a batman license plate frame and several company stickers on the back window.

10points

DuchessDegu 1 year ago

Me making coffee. Put the water in the machine, turn it on. Came back a few minutes later to clear hot water in the pot. "oh you idiot, you forgot the coffee!". Empty the pot of hot water in the sink, put it back back in the machine, made absolutely sure I put the ground coffee in the filter, turn the coffee machine on. Came back after a few minutes and the pot was empty. I forgot to put the water. Got my partner to make the coffee.

9points

LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago

The hardest part about the morning is making the coffee.

2points

Kar Red Roses 1 year ago

I used to work in an office with two other people and we all drink coffee and took turns making it. One bust week we were really tired and within that week we wrecked the coffee each of us in turn. First I made it without the water. Then the next day coworker 1 made it using sugar instead of coffee grounds. Mmm, hot sweet water! Then coworker 2 had to upstage us both by making coffee without putting the carafe in place. It was quite a mess and an hour before a major project deadline. Good times!

1point

Greg Warren 1 year ago

Ditto x2

1point

kath morgan 1 year ago

A couple of years ago my uncle and aunt arrived at a party, sat on the sofa made small talk etc. then my other aunt called him and asked where they were. “You said you were at the door 10 minutes ago!” They had arrived at the wrong house and crashed a neighbour’s party. The amazing thing to me is that they were let in! You just have to have the confidence of someone who really thinks they know what they are doing I guess

9points

Ritchat 1 year ago

Some routines seem to stick for a lifetime. I had loose braces for a few years when I was a kid. Now I'm 37 and sometimes I still startle while falling asleep because "I FORGOT TO PUT MY BRACES IN!!!" And then I'm mad because I woke up for no reason.

8points

mcborge1 1 year ago (edited)

Back in the 90's I was in a Cantonese restaurant in Soho. It was a multi level restaurant and I went to find the toilets on the ground floor, I got to the stairs, they were split stairs (go down a few steps, turn, go down some more) and I went down the first few steps to the flat part to find someone coming towards me. I said excuse me, then stepped to the left, this other person stepped to their right, I stepped to the right, this other person stepped to their left. I looked up to make eye contact with this idiot messing with me only to realise it was me! Yes the back wall of the stairwell was mirrored, and yes other people noticed, lol. :D

8points

Whimsical Duckling 1 year ago

When i was a kid, i woke up, wanted to wear a specific pair of green leggings, put them on, and promptly forgot that i had. I had looked all over the house for 20 min, then i asked my twin if he had seen any green leggings. He said, "um, the ones you're wearing?"

7points

Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago

This one happened just the other day. I was at a certain fabric shop - the first one in the franchise to open in my area. While chatting with the cashier I said "this is so much more convenient! You know, before this outlet opened, you used to have to go all the way out to [the suburb this outlet is in, in which I'm currently standing]!"

7points

Petra Schaap 1 year ago

thanks for the good laugh :-D I was making oatmeal, and got a glass of apple juice. Ended up pouring applejuice in my oatmeal. It was surprisingly good. Also poured applejuice into my coffee once instead of milk. Was also nice.

7points

James016 1 year ago

Many years ago I put my dinner in the oven and set the timer as normal. Once the timer beeped, I opened the oven to find it empty. I could not figure out for the life of me what had happened as I clearly remembered putting the tray in the oven. After a few moments I went to get something from the fridge and ta da. There is my dinner. In the fridge, not in the oven

7points

Okiedokie 1 year ago

Half of these are from people who are overworked & under-rested. Something has to be done about the hours people have to work to make even a halfway decent living :(

6points

JMC5003 1 year ago

I was looking to see if someone would post this! For those who aren't overworked and underslept, mindfulness meditation is specifically designed to help with these types of problems. I haven't actively practiced it in years, but after my responses to these posts, I'm realizing I need to start again. It really does help with staying focused and in the moment, but nothing except rest will cure overworking and/or undersleeping.

2points

Oerff On Tour 1 year ago

Dutch comedian: "I woke up one morning, took a p1ss, got out of bed, and thought *this was in the wrong order*"

6points

lauralett50 1 year ago

We of the brain fog ,brain fart society salute you. It's great to be a human, ain't it.?

5points

Bob La Capra 1 year ago

1. Coin op laundry...took the clothes from the washer, tossed them in the dryer followed by my softener sheet and 4 quarters. 2. Couldn't find the spray cleaner because it was in the refrigerator. 3. Seemed to be running out of dinner plates. They were in the oven. 4. Holding a bag of shredded lettuce in one hand while removing lettuce with the other. Look into the bag and see a severed thumb. Then realized the bag was clear and the the thumb was mine...and still attached

5points

Rick Seiden 1 year ago

I was standing at a urinal at work, doing my thing, and I heard the distinctive click clop of high heels. I start to panic. "Did I go into the ladies' room?" I decided to just face the wall and finish up at the urinal--that had to be in the mens' room.

5points

Seedy Vine 1 year ago

A coworker put a plastic jug of iced tea on the coffee pot warmer where it melted and spilled all over. My dad wore my work shirt, which was from a well-known grocery store chain, to his own job. I got confused once in grade school and went home during mid-day thinking school had ended, but not before laughing and making goofy faces from the school hallway at my classmates who were still in class, because I thought they were all in detention and staying late. A family member drove to my location to pick me up and drove off without me. Having a religious background, I have genuflected in a movie theatre more than once.

5points

Mavis 1 year ago

I was once startled by a face on poster behind me. I saw it out of the corner of my eye and I thought it was a real person trying to look over my shoulder and I was literally wtf are you looking at!!??

5points

Dan Flo 1 year ago (edited)

Was desperatly trying to find the button that folds the front seat so I could get out of the car. All my friends who had succeeded in getting out of the car where all standing outside watching me, untill one of them opened the rear door and asked what the heck I was doing. I had somehow forgott it was a 4-door car...

4points

Bear Family 1 year ago

Did that too on a friend's car once. Geez man, you car is impossible to access the rear seat. Finally got seated, noticed the arm rest and door handle as found in a four door car. WTH???

3points

Just_for_this 1 year ago

I love my sleep, am a very deep sleeper and take ages to wake up. This one time as a 16yo i was working weekends with my father (plasterer). After this particularly hard day i was exhausted and crawled to my room and fell asleep on the bed. The next morning dad shouts up, I don't hear him properly and just assume its time to get up for work. i stumble into the shower and take a few to wake up. during this process dad has come up to find out where i am and I start to come round to the fact im still fully clothed, in the shower and its not actually the next morning but still the evening and he was calling me to dinner!

4points

Fuzzy bunny feet 1 year ago

While driving I felt like my car was weaving because of the wind. It didn’t look windy so I rolled down my window and stuck my hand out to see if it the wind was blowing. It was blowing about 65 Mph

3points

NatalieC 1 year ago

We had a litter of puppies one time and I was sooo tired. It's a 24/7 job. So I'm kind of falling asleep on the couch and I hear them start squeaking (which means time to feed them) and I absent-mindedly picked up the TV remote and tried to shut them off. Another time I drove 30 miles to work and didn't realize it was Sunday until I parked the car and wondered why the lot was empty.

3points

--- 1 year ago

I was leaving highschool with a group of colleagues, when we passed a small kid at one of those private neighbourhood gates. I said "Good afternoon" to that kid, for no reason, and she said the same thing to me, without looking. I guess I saw her with her backpack and remembered how I used to salute teachers when I was her age

3points

Katy Cordeth 1 year ago

Many years ago I'd been playing Super Mario 64 for three days straight. In the morning I decided I needed a break so took a walk to my local newsagents to get a paper and some provisions. As I got near an intersection a car was approaching so I broke into a run fully intending to leap into the air and somersault over it, landing safely on the opposite pavement. I came to my senses at the last millisecond, otherwise it might be a ghost posting this comment.

3points

urbibestie 1 year ago

i needed this good of a laugh

3points

LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago

I've had two. One of them I was doing dishes, putting them in the sink. I saw a cup mostly filled with juice, grumbling about what a waste it was, and rather than pour old juice down the drain, simply emptied it on my kitchen counter. I just stared at it before going to watch TV for a bit. Apparently my sleep deprived brain needed a reset.

2points

LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago

I had one many years ago that I cannot believe hasn't been brought up before. I woke up, walked to my door, and freaked out because the door didn't go where I thought it went. I thought I was in another house for some reason and began freaking out. My mom trying to console me through the door didn't register.... till I woke up fully and realized I had walked into my closet instead. Gratefully mom was the only one home and never told anyone that story because she must have realized it would be humiliating but she laughed so hard.

2points

Greg Warren 1 year ago

When I was in the Navy standing watch, at 4am a shipmate comes up to the Quarterdeck and reports "some a*****e" is sleeping in my rack. He said he told the guy to get out and was told F** off! Either I do something or he's going to get a beating. I wake up the Duty Master at Arms who takes along a couple of friends and they extricate the person. Turns out he's assigned to the ship across the Pier. Right berthing assignment, just wrong ship. The previous watch had just let the drunk dude aboard.

2points

Via Hawk 1 year ago

Multiple times I’ll see a random object and think it’s an animal. One time I was so tired and didn’t catch myself and asked my professor “what? Why do you have a duck? Is that for an experiment?” It was a scarf. He was carrying a scarf to the lost and found. He looks at me and says “do you need stronger glasses or something?”

2points

Bear Family 1 year ago

Was working huge hours and sleeping about four or so hours a night. Woke up before my alarm one night. Switched it off, dressed, bathroom/shave, bowl of cereal and drove over to pickup my friend who carpooled with me. Friends' house was very dark, as we're all the houses. Hardly any traffic. Switched on the radio and realized not only was I three hours early it was also a day off. Drove home and went to bed. Bought a watch that day....

2points

The Starsong Princess 1 year ago

I have the day off from work today so I went to brunch with my cousins. After leaving the restaurant, I drove to work. Once I got there, I sat in the parking lot wondering why sonething seemed off before I realized I should have gone home instead. Btw, this brunch involved no drinking!

2points

Gwyn 1 year ago (edited)

More than once, two of my kids have been searching for their glasses with the glasses already on. It's the funnest thing ever to be able to say, did you look on your face? And see their reaction. We all laugh.

2points

Ivo H 1 year ago

I have one good one. A year back, when my sons were young enough they needed formula during night, I woke up veeeeery badly, went to the kitchen, warmed up a water and suddenly the water was gone. Formula was prepared in bottle, but the I just couldn't find the water... Angrily I heated up new water, finished the formula, gave it to my wife and went back to sleep. In the morning I found out what happened. I just poured the water right into (newly opened) package of formula. It cost me $20.

2points

Monday 1 year ago

These always remind me of the time I caught myself about to squeeze toothpaste onto my razor with the intent of brushing my teeth....

1point

HistoryLover 1 year ago

Yikes! Good thing you caught yourself!

1point

pineapple87 1 year ago

I was once making myself toast for breakfast. When the toaster pops, I stare blankly at the empty toaster for a while before realizing that I hadn't actually put bread in.

1point

Goth Mouse (he/they) 1 year ago

I put butter in my tea 😩 im not a morning person lol

1point

Shelby Jackson 1 year ago

A few years ago I worked for a bank branch and went to work. Waited for an hour and non of my coworkers show up. Text my manager asking if anyone was coming in. He said "dude it's Sunday". He was the best boss.

1point

Whitey Black 1 year ago

I once was using voice-to-text while driving. In the middle of the text I sent to a girl I had just met it read: "pick a lane you stupid twat!"

1point

Miss Kat O 1 year ago

I also tried to lock my front door with my car fob

1point

Miss Kat O 1 year ago

I said Thankyou to a cash point

1point

CosmcCookie 1 year ago

I'm sitting at my desk reading this on my tablet that's leaned against my monitor and tried scrolling with my mouse

1point

Candi Cabaniss 1 year ago

I am a teacher. One morning I was trying to get into my classroom, mentally cussing because the door would not work. Then I realized that instead of using my class' key I was pressing the unlock button on my vehicle's key.

1point

Jill Bussey 1 year ago

All I am admitting to is I am glad I'm not the only one!

1point

That guy Nic B. 1 year ago

I was making lunch while watching studio c and I put my food in the fridge instead of the microwave

1point

Elisa 1 year ago

When I was in 3rd grade, I sat in the front left corner of the room, returning from recess I walked into the wrong classroom and I was confused to why all the kids from the other class were in my classroom because they both looked the same. I walked to the front left corner desk and sat down the girl who was meant to be sitting there came in just after and asked why i was sitting in her seat and to please get out of her seat. I said it was my seat and then it clicked. I apologized left. When I was about ten my mums car crashed and we had to rent one for about a week. So we rode that car somewhere and parked in a parking lot. When we were coming back there were three cars that looked similar to it all next to each other. tried to open the wrong car's door I was like OH NO and ran to the next car and which I thought was the rental, but it wasn't so panicking, I ran to the next car and luckily that one was the right car but I got it wrong twice lol.

0points

Elisa 1 year ago

Oh also one time my brother ate a bunny poop thinking it was a raisin

0points

Casey B 1 year ago

Misplaced my .380 one night. Two days later my husband asked me why my gun was in the freezer...

0points

AlexJ 1 year ago

I went to a fast food place one time and ordered a cheeseburger. The cashier asked me "With cheese?" (Poor girl, she needs the day off)....I said "No". We both needed the day off apparently.

0points

Nay Wilson 1 year ago

i'm crying with laughter over here :-)

0points

HistoryLover 1 year ago

I almost took a drink of my valve oil once. Thank god for child safety locks or I would be dead(for non brass instrument players, valve oil is dangerous if ingested and can be fatal). Here’s the whole story. I had my Pepsi bottle right next to my valve oil when I was practicing baritone. I put the oil bottle to my mouth, WITH THE LID ON, and realized nothing was coming out, so I proceeded to try and take the lid off. I do this occasionally with my drinks where I forget to take the lid off first, so that didn’t faze me, but I was really confused why it was suddenly so hard to open my Pepsi. It wasn’t until I looked down at my hand that I realized I just tried to poison myself. Shout out to the inventor of child safety locks. They protect adults sometimes too.

0points

Adam Francis 1 year ago

Cant tell you how many times I got into the shower with my socks on

0points

Jo Firth 1 year ago

I'm now convinced I don't have early onset dementia ... thanks everyone who posted!!

0points

Kar Red Roses 1 year ago

This is why I habitually look _both_ ways before crossing a *one way* street… 😅 we could all maybe use some more sleep to help with our focus

0points

ObsidianAce_ 1 year ago

My dog had passed away recently, and I hadn’t quite gotten used to it yet- I dropped a piece of ham on the floor making a sandwich. I shouted “cleanup!” Expecting to hear a dog rush down the stairs and come eat it. I wander off looking for him, because he *always* comes for cleanup. My mother comes in to find a half made sandwich and a piece of ham on the floor.

0points

Rocco MZ 1 year ago

I texted my husband in a full out panic that I couldn't find my phone. When he didn't respond fast enough I called him. Yup, both on the phone "I couldn't find."

0points

MadamGreenIce 1 year ago

Once I went to a public toilet in a mall. Entered one cubicle and noticed the seat was up but didn't think much of it. I did my business and got out only to find urinals attached to the wall. My shortcircuit brain had lead me to gents toilet (I'm a woman).

0points

Danni 1 year ago

I had some xmas icicles outside my house. one evening, they were tapping on the window in the wind, so my half asleep brain, got up, turned them off at the plug, then came back into the room, asking my partner why they were still making the noise when i had turned them off. i got laughed at a lot that evening!!

0points

Michael P. 1 year ago

I can be absent-minded sometimes so I have my moments. From walking into a room to get something and then wondering why I went into this room as soon as I enter to burning frozen pizzas because I forgot that I had put something in the toaster oven.

0points

Nichole Harris 1 year ago

Best list of the year!!!!!

0points

(Un)Inspired Aspiring Author 1 year ago

I love these kinds of posts! They always have my laughing until I cry

0points

Kenny Kulbiski 1 year ago

Okay, maybe I'm not as nuts as I thought.

0points

Diemond Star 1 year ago

McDonald's really freaks with the mind.

0points

POST

Kim Kermes 1 year ago

I haven't laughed this much in a while. Thanks, I needed that. And yes, I've my own brain derailments.

43points

RedMarbles 1 year ago

Yeah, these were fun. Bonus in that they made me feel better about the times my brain fails me.

20points

Bernd Herbert 1 year ago

26points

Julie Ann Al buzbeba 1 year ago

Lol...I hope you didn't then proceed to open the laundry basket thinking it was the toilet!!

21points

waddles 1 year ago

i have done that with socks

2points

Denise Melek 1 year ago

I did the same thing.

1point

Ryan-James O'Driscoll 1 year ago

25points

AVGucky 1 year ago

9points

Miriam Gwynn 1 year ago

Once called my phone to find it… from my phone.

18points

BannedFromABoatShow 1 year ago

15points

AVGucky 1 year ago

9points

Devil's Advocate 1 year ago

Is it just me, or is it concerning how many people seem not to worry much about driving their car when their brain clearly isn't working?

14points

Gwyn 1 year ago

It is concerning that they drive but also some jobs are dangerous if you are drowsy too. I wonder if they can't take time off, our society failing us all through lack of time off and health care, etc

11points

Brechje Geutjes 1 year ago

12points

AVGucky 1 year ago (edited)

9points

Julie Ann Al buzbeba 1 year ago

12points

Mike Crow 1 year ago

My sister woke up and came down stairs spitting and swearing that she didn’t get first chair for the flute in band. Then she went back up to her room and fell asleep. She had graduated a year ago.

11points

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago

These are so relatable…

11points

Alex Martin 1 year ago

10points

DuchessDegu 1 year ago

9points

LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago

The hardest part about the morning is making the coffee.

2points

Kar Red Roses 1 year ago

1point

Greg Warren 1 year ago

Ditto x2

1point

kath morgan 1 year ago

9points

Ritchat 1 year ago

8points

mcborge1 1 year ago (edited)

8points

Whimsical Duckling 1 year ago

7points

Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago

7points

Petra Schaap 1 year ago

7points

James016 1 year ago

7points

Okiedokie 1 year ago

Half of these are from people who are overworked & under-rested. Something has to be done about the hours people have to work to make even a halfway decent living :(

6points

JMC5003 1 year ago

2points

Oerff On Tour 1 year ago

Dutch comedian: "I woke up one morning, took a p1ss, got out of bed, and thought *this was in the wrong order*"

6points

lauralett50 1 year ago

We of the brain fog ,brain fart society salute you. It's great to be a human, ain't it.?

5points

Bob La Capra 1 year ago

5points

Rick Seiden 1 year ago

5points

Seedy Vine 1 year ago

5points

Mavis 1 year ago

5points

Dan Flo 1 year ago (edited)

4points

Bear Family 1 year ago

Did that too on a friend's car once. Geez man, you car is impossible to access the rear seat. Finally got seated, noticed the arm rest and door handle as found in a four door car. WTH???

3points

Just_for_this 1 year ago

4points

Fuzzy bunny feet 1 year ago

3points

NatalieC 1 year ago

3points

--- 1 year ago

3points

Katy Cordeth 1 year ago

3points

urbibestie 1 year ago

i needed this good of a laugh

3points

LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago

2points

LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago

2points

Greg Warren 1 year ago

2points

Via Hawk 1 year ago

2points

Bear Family 1 year ago

2points

The Starsong Princess 1 year ago

2points

Gwyn 1 year ago (edited)

2points

Ivo H 1 year ago

2points

Monday 1 year ago

These always remind me of the time I caught myself about to squeeze toothpaste onto my razor with the intent of brushing my teeth....

1point

HistoryLover 1 year ago

Yikes! Good thing you caught yourself!

1point

pineapple87 1 year ago

I was once making myself toast for breakfast. When the toaster pops, I stare blankly at the empty toaster for a while before realizing that I hadn't actually put bread in.

1point

Goth Mouse (he/they) 1 year ago

I put butter in my tea 😩 im not a morning person lol

1point

Shelby Jackson 1 year ago

1point

Whitey Black 1 year ago

I once was using voice-to-text while driving. In the middle of the text I sent to a girl I had just met it read: "pick a lane you stupid twat!"

1point

Miss Kat O 1 year ago

I also tried to lock my front door with my car fob

1point

Miss Kat O 1 year ago

I said Thankyou to a cash point

1point

CosmcCookie 1 year ago

I'm sitting at my desk reading this on my tablet that's leaned against my monitor and tried scrolling with my mouse

1point

Candi Cabaniss 1 year ago

1point

Jill Bussey 1 year ago

All I am admitting to is I am glad I'm not the only one!

1point

That guy Nic B. 1 year ago

I was making lunch while watching studio c and I put my food in the fridge instead of the microwave

1point

Elisa 1 year ago

0points

Elisa 1 year ago

Oh also one time my brother ate a bunny poop thinking it was a raisin

0points