Yup, they don't notice or care and avt like you're blowing everything out of proportion if you bring it up.

Agreed. Parents like this are experts at revisionist history. Especially as they age, most somehow spin their parenting years narrative into a fairytale of how much they were “there” and “how much they did” for their children. Saint mommy and saint daddy from the book of BS. That said, no one wants to tell a young person that reality while they are still living in the heart of the trauma.

My father is in his late 80's and he not only treated me like dirt he never apologized. They will never admit they're wrong.

Oh yes. I was the unfavoured kid. And it was obvious. My parents deliberately made my life harder and spoilt my younger sister. I told them more than once that it would bite them hard eventually, but my mum never believed me. I asked her why she was so mean once, and she said "you're lazy and defiant. I don't like that." Surprise surprise, in adulthood we found out I have AuDHD. And my parents are indeed paying for it, because CPTSD hit HARD in my mid-thirties, and they're stuck supporting me until I can get through treatment (which takes a very long time). They won't not support me because they'd look like imperfect parents. But they will not admit they ever treated me poorly.

Several reasons. 1/Sometimes it is true. 2/It’s more palatable than “Life can be s**t. Your parents, fundamentally, do not care about you. Write them off.” 3/It’s a reasonable midway step to accepting that, whilst the parents may never realise that they messed up, they may very likely be the authors of their own misfortune when the consequences of their actions catch up with them.

My brother was the golden boy with my mom & he turned out to be a royal turd. He's never had a real job, is now on disability for being overweight near 500lbs, divorced and his alimony is going to end in a few months leaving him screwed and he won't have a place to live. All he does is exploit women for money (which would be easier if he wasn't so heavy and his teeth weren't so bad). It's so obvious that she realizes she f'ed up. Not that it's any consolation. He was given everything and there wasn't any money for me. He got a car, I moved out when I was 15 1/2 and my boyfriend gave me an old Mustang so I could get to work. Sadly, I had to explain why I won't help him when he's screwed. I have two daughters in college that I'm supporting, my mom lives in an apartment attached to my house and he can't live with me because he sexually assaulted me repeatedly as a teenager. He can't live on the property for the safety of my daughters and eventually grandchildren. She knows.

Agree, I’m 42 and my parents are STILL gushing with praise everytime my favored fraternal twin takes a c**p but I’m completely rubbish to them unless they want to ask for something, even worse they are doing it to MY children now, blatantly favouring the eldest daughter and snubbing her biracial younger siblings. I’ve cut them out completely. Horrid people don’t care or change

Absolutely! My mother is now 61 and my grandmother (87) has always been and is still horrible with her …

My parents will always just lie about how good of a child I was to everyone they know, when they have no clue how I was as a kid, and how awesome they were as parents to bring up a good kid, which they didn't. My father was emotionally and almost always physically absent due to a previous marriage and the judicial system here being a f*****g joke, and my mother would always yell in my face whenever I had an issue or cried about anything, or did anything "wrong". But since I came out acting like a well balanced person, they can act like it was all them.

Very true, I'm the black sheep, I was never arrested, I graduated high school as a literate student, no teen pregnancy, no pregnancy outside marriage, I worked, I paid for my own things, Ive never been addicted to anything, nor did i ask for anything outside of my dad signing for the things i was legally not able to, while I paid for all the expenses. My mother died still hating me and the schizophrenic attempted murderer of arson and the meth addicted, codependent, neglectful daughter who abandons her kids... They got positive statements on her death bed... But I'm happy with myself and glad she suffered and dealt with being revived a few times.

I'm glad you and your brother were in agreement. My parents can be a pain, but my sisters are terrific. Having same-generation support very much beats sibling rivalry and helps in dealing with now elderly parents.

My mother thought i didnt want to celebrate my birthday at all, because my golden brother wasnt home. She didnt ask, she just didnt mention it at all in the hopes i wouldnt also😅

Too bad you didn't ask her to be tested for early onset dementia.