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Man Remains Quiet When Bro Comments On His Wife’s Dress Size, Faces Her Anger Later On

Man Remains Quiet When Bro Comments On His Wife’s Dress Size, Faces Her Anger Later On

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A general rule of thumb is that you are going to fight with your family, so forgiving them for trivial things is always the easiest solution. That doesn’t always happen, as sometimes, couples fight over the silliest of things, and then one ends up getting the silent treatment.

Speaking of the silent treatment, this wife is punishing her husband with it after her brother-in-law commented on her dress size in front of the whole family. She had expected her spouse to stand up for her; however, folks were divided when she narrated her story.

More info: Mumsnet

Giving your partner the silent treatment is pretty common in couple conflicts, but it’s not always the healthier option

Image credits: Fernanda De Freitas / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The poster finds comments from her brother-in-law’s new wife uncomfortable and she doesn’t feel respected in the family

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Image credits: Zaina245

Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)

At a family gathering, the poster and her new sister-in-law were wearing the same dress, but her brother-in-law commented that their sizes were different

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Image credits: Zaina245

Image credits: RingoStudio / Pixabay (not the actual photo)

The poster was offended by this as she has an eating disorder, plus she has also recently given birth to their 3rd child, so she expected her husband to defend her

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Image credits: Zaina245

She had an argument with her husband on the car ride home and broke down into tears as he didn’t say anything on her behalf, and now she’s giving him the silent treatment

Today, we dive into the world of the original poster (OP) who got into a conflict with her husband over something that her brother-in-law said. 

Well, she thinks that her new sister-in-law says very offensive things to her, which makes her feel uncomfortable and disrespected in the family. She says that she never really had an issue with her brother-in-law until that day when there was a family gathering where she was wearing a dress similar to one her sister-in-law was wearing.

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When people were speaking about her dress, her brother-in-law emphasized that her size was different, which she found quite offensive. She tells us that she had struggled with an eating disorder and she had also given birth to their third child recently. So, she expected her husband to stand up for her, but he simply looked at her and said nothing.

She felt hurt that not even a single person said anything in her defense, and while going home, she got into an argument over it with her husband. For once, she really wanted him to stand up for her and say something, but since he didn’t, she broke down into tears and now she’s giving him the silent treatment.

Folks online were divided when she narrated the story. When she mentioned that her brother-in-law is “quite lazy with his wife and lets her just say whatever she wants even if it is wrong,” people were shocked. They mentioned that it was very insensitive of her, and some even commented that she hated women.

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Image credits: drobotdean / Freepik (not the actual photo)

OP went on to explain that in their tradition men spoke for their women and she would be thrown out of the family if she said the things that her sister-in-law says to her. Although she tried to explain it, people couldn’t grasp why the men had to control what the women said. This probably aggravated OP more, as she said that people did not understand the family situation.

Some people commented that she was overreacting and that giving her husband the silent treatment was very immature of her. They said that the brother-in-law was only speaking about the dress size and nothing more and if she found it offensive, she should’ve spoken up for herself rather than expecting things from her husband.

Meanwhile, other folks also commented that it was very hurtful and nasty what he said, knowing about OP’s past. Research suggests that approximately 1.25 million people in the UK have an eating disorder. It has also been observed that individuals struggling with eating disorders have a critical sense of self that leads them to have negative views of their beauty and self-worth. 

It could be argued that because of this, the woman was sensitive about the remark that her brother-in-law made. Not to forget, she had recently given birth, and research states that relapse of eating disorders is common in new mothers. Well, this does throw light on why the poster reacted the way she did.

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Some even said that there was probably a steady stream of comments from her in-laws that might have pushed her into an extreme reaction. However, they pointed out that speaking to her in-laws would be a better choice rather than taking it out on her husband. 

Well, the netizens were divided, but what about you? If you found someone stuck in a similar situation, what would you advise them to do? Feel free to express your thoughts in the comments!

Folks online were divided in their opinions, as some felt she was overreacting, while others sympathized that they would’ve been hurt as well

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Rutuja Dumbre

Rutuja Dumbre

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

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Rutuja Dumbre

Rutuja Dumbre

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hey, am Rutuja! A storyteller at heart and a writer at Bored Panda. I have a strange love for words, and I mostly survive on coffee which is the driving force behind my writing. I enjoy working on articles that purely entertain our readers. When am not writing or trekking, you can find me staying up late and watching all the matches of Football Club Barcelona!

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

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Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

What do you think ?
Add photo comments
POST
Shannon Donnelly
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP: *after telling long-winded story* Please tell me if I'm overreacting Internet: You're overreacting OP: How DARE you say I'm overreacting when you don't know me or my story at all, you horrible, judgmental people!!

Papa
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was wondering if I thought so just because I'm a man and "wouldn't understand." I'm happy to see that this was not the case.

Load More Replies...
Weasel Wise
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it sad that this English woman is defending the patriarchal idea of men controlling women cuz of "tradition". And I don't find anything wrong with someone commenting that the dresses are the exact same except in size. OP is searching for an insult in that statement. Her weight is a hair trigger for her to the extend of thinking that any comment on metrics must be an insult directed at her. 🙄 She must be an exhausting person to be around.

FluffyDreg
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, when you are struggling with an eating disorder, YES weight IS a hair trigger.

Load More Replies...
Stephanie Did It
Community Member
4 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very difficult to read, as the story is disjointed and poorly written. This lady appears to have a number of issues at the outset. She seems to have been indoctrinated into the cultural view that women's thoughts and words are controlled by their men, with the exception of herself who goes off on her husband for his failure to behave as SHE sees fit. What a mixed up bunch.

Earonn -
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tbh, I can't find anything terrible in just *mentioning* different sizes.

Two_rolling_black_eyes
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

TL:DR Her solution for someone else not speaking is refusing to speak to them. Childish.

FluffyDreg
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Going to try to summarize this. OP is English and married into a Pakistan culture, only mildly relevant but helps frame it. OP got along fine with her in laws. Both her SIL and BIL, no serious issues. However her BIL's wife comes into the picture, and is making comments that make OP feel uncomfortable and disrespected, would help if we had examples. It feels like OP has tried very hard to conform to her husbands culture, but her BIL and his wife not conforming to it is... upsetting. She's spent a long time proving herself, and is hurt seeing someone else not need to do the same. OP's attempts to conform has led into horrific eating disorders as a result of direct comments about her weight. Later at a family gathering, its brought up that OP and the BIl's wife had the same dress. It was argued a bit untill BIL mentioned that they were just two different sizes. 1/2

FluffyDreg
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This comment, bringing attention to her weight, ultimately cuts extremly deep due to the previously mentioned eatung disorders. Since I don't have expirence I can't say for sure, but I imagine it's almost dragging her back into the obsessive unhealthy mindset that caused it. I don't think its unreasonable to say that you need to be careful with your words around someone struggling with an eating disorder. OP's eating disorder is known by the family. OP doesn't speak up at the table, but thought that it should have been obvious you dont bring up the weight of someone struggling with an eating disorder, and was very hurt that no one said anything. She brings up how hurt she was to her husband, who doesnt really understand the gravity of such sn innocent seeminh content.

Load More Replies...
Surly Scot
Community Member
4 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An English woman who married into a Pakistani family and is expecting to be respected? How delusional. Does she also sign up for Vegan cookery classes and bring her own hamburgers? Idiot.

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You people just don't understand the abusive culture that I choose to embrace and defend! But feel sorry for me anyway!"

Load More Replies...
Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
3 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just my opinion, a size 12/14 isn't exactly gargantuan. In a lot of places that's considered to be an average enough healthy woman's clothing size. So, I don't care if OP reads this or not I'm just saying all the other ladies out there, if you're a size 12/14 or even bigger than that, don't be down on yourself. You're a healthy average body size. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. We all come in different sizes.

Mason Kronol
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the dresses are identical there is no reason to bring up the sizes. Especially in front of both women. And if they aren’t wearing them at the same time of course they might not realize they are the same shade. People piling on OP have probably never had eating disorders and been shamed for being too thin and then for later gaining a lot of weight. It’s an endless cycle.

Alexandra Nara
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just easy your husband isn't responsible for your triggers and fight. If someone trigger you ,he may not know,where your limits start. If he knows and tries to trigger you, tell him his behaviour is disrespectful an quite a lack of manner- and walk off no discussion needed, no prince to save you..just stand your ground and be the mirror not the sponge

Roberta Surprenant
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What she is trying not to say is that she married into a family of racists who treat her worse because she is English. Meanwhile she tries to defend their awful treatment in hopes of being "accepted".

The_Nicest_Misanthrope
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't even bother trying to finish reading this unintelligible babble. OP only ignored every bit of advice anyway.

Mark Childers
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was never a "fact." It was always a "fat joke" about her weight. People don't go around talking about sizes when asked how clothing looks on them, even when comparing. Intentional.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
3 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree that it was a barely veiled jab about her weight. Those words could have been uttered by the archetypal mean girl bully in high school!

Load More Replies...
Shannon Donnelly
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP: *after telling long-winded story* Please tell me if I'm overreacting Internet: You're overreacting OP: How DARE you say I'm overreacting when you don't know me or my story at all, you horrible, judgmental people!!

Papa
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was wondering if I thought so just because I'm a man and "wouldn't understand." I'm happy to see that this was not the case.

Load More Replies...
Weasel Wise
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it sad that this English woman is defending the patriarchal idea of men controlling women cuz of "tradition". And I don't find anything wrong with someone commenting that the dresses are the exact same except in size. OP is searching for an insult in that statement. Her weight is a hair trigger for her to the extend of thinking that any comment on metrics must be an insult directed at her. 🙄 She must be an exhausting person to be around.

FluffyDreg
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, when you are struggling with an eating disorder, YES weight IS a hair trigger.

Load More Replies...
Stephanie Did It
Community Member
4 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very difficult to read, as the story is disjointed and poorly written. This lady appears to have a number of issues at the outset. She seems to have been indoctrinated into the cultural view that women's thoughts and words are controlled by their men, with the exception of herself who goes off on her husband for his failure to behave as SHE sees fit. What a mixed up bunch.

Earonn -
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tbh, I can't find anything terrible in just *mentioning* different sizes.

Two_rolling_black_eyes
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

TL:DR Her solution for someone else not speaking is refusing to speak to them. Childish.

FluffyDreg
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Going to try to summarize this. OP is English and married into a Pakistan culture, only mildly relevant but helps frame it. OP got along fine with her in laws. Both her SIL and BIL, no serious issues. However her BIL's wife comes into the picture, and is making comments that make OP feel uncomfortable and disrespected, would help if we had examples. It feels like OP has tried very hard to conform to her husbands culture, but her BIL and his wife not conforming to it is... upsetting. She's spent a long time proving herself, and is hurt seeing someone else not need to do the same. OP's attempts to conform has led into horrific eating disorders as a result of direct comments about her weight. Later at a family gathering, its brought up that OP and the BIl's wife had the same dress. It was argued a bit untill BIL mentioned that they were just two different sizes. 1/2

FluffyDreg
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This comment, bringing attention to her weight, ultimately cuts extremly deep due to the previously mentioned eatung disorders. Since I don't have expirence I can't say for sure, but I imagine it's almost dragging her back into the obsessive unhealthy mindset that caused it. I don't think its unreasonable to say that you need to be careful with your words around someone struggling with an eating disorder. OP's eating disorder is known by the family. OP doesn't speak up at the table, but thought that it should have been obvious you dont bring up the weight of someone struggling with an eating disorder, and was very hurt that no one said anything. She brings up how hurt she was to her husband, who doesnt really understand the gravity of such sn innocent seeminh content.

Load More Replies...
Surly Scot
Community Member
4 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An English woman who married into a Pakistani family and is expecting to be respected? How delusional. Does she also sign up for Vegan cookery classes and bring her own hamburgers? Idiot.

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You people just don't understand the abusive culture that I choose to embrace and defend! But feel sorry for me anyway!"

Load More Replies...
Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
3 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just my opinion, a size 12/14 isn't exactly gargantuan. In a lot of places that's considered to be an average enough healthy woman's clothing size. So, I don't care if OP reads this or not I'm just saying all the other ladies out there, if you're a size 12/14 or even bigger than that, don't be down on yourself. You're a healthy average body size. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. We all come in different sizes.

Mason Kronol
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the dresses are identical there is no reason to bring up the sizes. Especially in front of both women. And if they aren’t wearing them at the same time of course they might not realize they are the same shade. People piling on OP have probably never had eating disorders and been shamed for being too thin and then for later gaining a lot of weight. It’s an endless cycle.

Alexandra Nara
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just easy your husband isn't responsible for your triggers and fight. If someone trigger you ,he may not know,where your limits start. If he knows and tries to trigger you, tell him his behaviour is disrespectful an quite a lack of manner- and walk off no discussion needed, no prince to save you..just stand your ground and be the mirror not the sponge

Roberta Surprenant
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What she is trying not to say is that she married into a family of racists who treat her worse because she is English. Meanwhile she tries to defend their awful treatment in hopes of being "accepted".

The_Nicest_Misanthrope
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't even bother trying to finish reading this unintelligible babble. OP only ignored every bit of advice anyway.

Mark Childers
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was never a "fact." It was always a "fat joke" about her weight. People don't go around talking about sizes when asked how clothing looks on them, even when comparing. Intentional.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
3 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree that it was a barely veiled jab about her weight. Those words could have been uttered by the archetypal mean girl bully in high school!

Load More Replies...
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