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“I Don’t Think His Youngest Son Is His”: 31 Big Secrets People Have Never Told Their Partner About
Apparently, the average person has about 13 secrets they’re keeping at any given time. That’s a lot of things to be kept under wraps! But what happens to these secrets once you enter a relationship? The person who’s the closest to you should know everything about you, right? But that isn’t always the case.
It certainly isn’t true for these folks who’ve been hiding some pretty big secrets from their partners. They finally decided to spill the beans. Some of the answers are wholesome, while others are downright shocking.
More info: Reddit
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#1
I have a box of little crochet critters in the garage, that I make when I'm bored/inbetween clients. I let my fiance know that if anyone at work would like one (she's a hospice nurse) she can just take them from the box, no questions asked.
That's what I told her, anyway.
The secret is that I purposefully make stuff for her to take. I even have a lil spreadsheet so I know what animals/colours are the most popular, and make sure that there's always spares. Obviously I don't know WHO they go to, 'cause of confidentiality, but I try to get as big a range as I can. .
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#2
I'm gone once a month for a mysterious workshop that he's not allowed to ask about. What he doesn't know is that it's a workshop blacksmithing and I'm currently making him a sword to propose to him with.
#3
On occasion, I send instacart groceries to local people asking for food.
I know what it is to be hungry, my husband never has.
I do not think he would understand. Not that he is against helping, but might get upset with me sending groceries and spending $80 - $100 just for basics for someone to get by till their next paycheque.
In a marriage or a partnership, both people need to be open and honest with each other. The more they start keeping secrets, the more cracks will appear in the foundation of their relationship. Even though research shows that 60% of people hide things from their partners, they don’t seem to realize the damage that it can do.
Whether it’s small or big secrets that someone is keeping from their significant other, that itself is a sign that the relationship might not be on strong footing. This is especially true if the individual hides something because they are anxious or worried about their partner’s reaction.
#4
My husband can't whistle. He always tries, but he just can't get it. One day while out hiking with our dogs, the dogs went too far ahead so my husband tried to whistle for them. The first few attempts nothing happened. So I whistled for them. Apparently my husband was trying to whistle at the same time and he heard my whistle and thought it was him. He was so proud! Just grinning from ear to ear. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was me, still don't. It was so cute to see how happy he was.
#5
I have an eating disorder that I've been fighting alone for about 5 years. He thinks I'm just naturally really skinny.
Actually, this is the first time I've admitted this publicly. It feels kind of good.
#6
I'm proposing today and I've been planning for most of this year. I'm terrible at secrets and have almost spilled the beans a few times.
Edit: He said yes!!
As you can see in this list, there are many types of secrets. Some can be harmless, like not revealing quirks you’ve noticed because your partner might feel self-conscious about them. Others can be wholesome, like surprises, proposals, and so on. But some secrets can also be alarming or disturbing, and those are the ones that folks most often want to hide.
Studies have found that there are three kinds of things people might want to keep hidden. They include taboo secrets that might stigmatize the person, rule violations that the individual could get in trouble for, and conventional secrets, which may not cause any huge issues but can still make the individual feel anxious or worried.
#7
When she first made a Tiktok account she spent hours doing hair and makeup, recording different little dances, skits etc. But they werent really taking off at all and I could tell she was a little down about it. When she was asleep I went onto her account and spent about $300 (which isnt a small amount of money to me) to have her videos promoted and pushed to more people than they otherwise would. She woke up to thousands of followers, 10s of thoussnds of likes and 100s of thoussnds of views. She was ecstatic, still has no idea. Worth every cent.
#8
As someone who absolutely hated dancing and always declined invitations to go dancing, I've learned the basic steps of Bachata which is her favourite dance.
Not sure how long I'll keep it as a secret. I'm just waiting for the right moment to reveal this suprise.
#9
I want to marry him much sooner than I thought but also as an immigrant I worry if bringing that up will raise any eyebrows and cause him or his family and friends to think that I want to do this to get permanent residence quickly. So I've been working extra hard to qualify for it on my own.
There is a big difference between keeping secrets from one’s partner and having privacy in relationships. It’s important to understand the difference. Secrecy can violate a person’s trust, be toxic to their bond, and even cause harm. Privacy does not involve violating trust or causing harm to one’s partner; it’s about setting a personal boundary and developing an individual identity.
An example of privacy can be having a separate bank account and keeping the password hidden from one’s spouse. An example of secret-keeping might be getting into severe debt and hiding it from one’s partner.
#10
That I've turned a closet in the hallway into a shoe closet because she has wanted one for a very long time. When she comes back home in a couple of days I hope she loves it.
#11
When we started dating I told him I was not ticklish. I just had to hold it together unbothered the first time he tried. He said it was no fun and 11 years later thinks I am still not ticklish. Best secret I’ve ever kept!
#12
That I have learned to hate him. He’s mentally abusive and it’s exhausting and I don’t deserve it. Everyone thinks he’s the nicest man ever when he’s really a prick.
Hiding things doesn’t just affect the relationship, it also affects the secret keeper. It can impact a person's physical and mental health and also weigh heavily on their conscience. The stress of keeping information hidden over a long period of time can lead to fatigue, worry, and many physical health issues.
#13
-We’ve been together for 5 years
-Met at a football game
-our biggest thing in common is our love for “our team”
-every Sunday for years we get together to watch the games with her family
-I’m not really into football
-I was at the game we met at because someone bought tickets and I was off so sure
- I’ve never really understood it so for YEARS anytime the family cheers I just follow with cheers and when they BOOOO I do the same.
#14
When he proposes to me, I have an engagement watch for him.
My dad gave it to me a few months into dating him and said that I could do what I want with it. It’s been 5 years and all I need is a nice box and ribbon.
Edit: thanks for the activity, super overwhelmed by the responses.
The watch is a breitling aerospace - my dad and his dad collected watches so we would often inherit ones. They collected them when luxury brands were ‘more affordable’. The timing wasn’t due to me starting to date my boyfriend, just that my dad flew over to get a few older ones serviced as we grew up overseas. He just wanted to bring a gift.
#15
It’s not really a secret anymore because I cracked up the last time I saw him do it but when he used to make me impossible burgers he would use a meat thermometer to make sure that it was “safe” to eat like a normal burger. It was so sweet that I didn’t want to tell him I could probably eat them raw if I wanted. They were also like chewing a brick. I love that man.
So, if you’ve been keeping something from your significant other, here’s how you can finally unburden yourself. The first step is to wait for the right moment when your partner is in a good emotional state and feeling calm. Then, you should carefully express the importance of what you’re about to share with them and be direct about it.
It’s essential to be clear and honest and clarify any doubts that the other person may have. You also need to prepare for any reaction because it might be intense or overwhelming for them. Be empathetic and reassure them that you will never keep such information from them again.
#16
Our tenth anniversary is coming up in January; we got engaged ten years ago last week with a ring that looks nice but was the best I could afford at the time.
We’re not wealthy (both educators), but we’ve moved up enough on our districts’ salary schedules and cleared out some bigger debts, so my tenth anniversary gift is a new ring that’s about five times what the original cost (and looks it).
Five months until I can show her.
#17
I don't think his youngest son is his. The story about how this child came to be is very shady. Between having his vasectomy reversal and how low he said his count is. Combined with the fact that he caught the boys' mom cheating during the time they were trying, and how fast she came back with the paternity results, it all feels very wrong. 13 years later, when we are talking about his youngest, he always brings up how similar they look. I just agree. This kid looks nothing like him or his other 2 kids. My BF is 5'7 blue eyes black hair with a lean build. The youngest is already over 6 feet tall brown eyes, brown hair, and kinda chubby. His mom is very slim, blue eyes and blonde hair. He wanted to get them all 23 and me for Christmas, I talked him out of it, I think it would ruin Christmas for him if it came out.
Secrets can honestly snowball into huge lies, so it’s better not to keep them from your significant other in the first place. If you do, it would be better if it was a positive secret rather than some of the more weird ones on this list. If you do have something to share, you can start by unburdening yourself in the comments; we’ll definitely keep your secret safe!
#20
The amount of times that those intrusive thoughts enter my mind but my wife, she’s one of the main things holding things together for me. I think of how tragic things would be if I actually followed thru, so that always helps. I do that for everything though, if not her then my dog, or my parents, or my family and so on.
#22
I secretly hate the way he chews, but I act like it doesn’t bother me. It drives me crazy.
#23
Years later, I'm still not over her affair. I have my reasons for staying, but the pain remains.
#26
I resent him for never having done big romantic gestures, maybe even medium ones. It feels like he doesn't think I'm worth the effort. It feels like I'm always compromising for whatever he wants and it never comes back around.
#27
I beat my wife in every video-game! I purposefully lose at puyo puyo tetris because she likes it and it's the only way for me to enjoy her company while playing.
#30
He’s been eating veggie burgers for about two years now. First time was an accident, never seen him enjoy eating “meat” that much… I might’ve taken it a bit too far….
Wang Zhuang 3 months ago
So...is OP saying they have been purposely feeding their S/O veggie burgers and he hasn't noticed? I call BS
Lila Allen 3 months ago
Maybe their SO would post " I know my wife is feeding me veggie burgers, but it makes her so happy I pretend I don't notice" However impossible burgers are really good enough to fool most people.
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Donkey boi 3 months ago
Oh he knows. He might even actually enjoy them. But there is no way he doesn't know. He's probably further down the list here saying 'She thinks I don't know that they're veggie burgers!'
JK 3 months ago
Tbf, good quality vegan burgers can taste almost exactly like meat. We ended up stuck at a vegan place one afternoon, starving after a busy day, and I just need some sustenance so I said I'd try the burger. Genuinely, if I hadn't known it was vegan I'd never have guessed, the look, smell, texture, taste - absolutely amazing (and I'm a lifelong carnivore). But you gotta pay good money for those, in which case beef is just cheaper!
BrownEyedGrrl 3 months ago
Meat has no flavor until all the stuff is added to make it flavorful. Same with veggie burgers. I love vegan burgers and just don't like the thought of eating dead animals.
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Aerial (Any pronouns/Canadian/Jewish) 3 months ago
I can tell you from experience that the Beyond beef replacement is very close to the real stuff. In fact, it's so close, that the one time we tried to use it for taco night I actually didn't feel right putting cheese on it. We went back to the Eves stuff after that.
Tabitha 3 months ago
I put my husband on decaf coffee two years ago, because he was getting overly caffeinated and when he’s hyped like that it’s incredibly difficult to get him to calm down. I don’t want to lose him to a heart attack or stroke due to high blood pressure, so I quietly switched him to decaf. Since I set his coffee for the next morning (the coffee pot is on a timer), so he has no clue he’s drinking decaf. He’s also never said his coffee tastes any different, so he obviously can’t tell by taste. I think I did a good thing here, because he has really calmed down and chilled out a LOT in comparison to how he used to get.
BoredPossum 3 months ago
Tricking people into eating stuff that they don't wanna eat is a big no for me. Imagine if he would have tricked a vegan to eat meat, people would go ape$hit.
Papa 3 months ago
Am I the only one here who thinks that's just wrong? If OP thinks the husband or boyfriend really doesn't enjoy meat that much how about asking him if he'd be willing to try a veggie burger instead of being sneaky about it? I know I'd be pretty pissed off if my wife did that.
What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago
My secret is that my boyfriend only knows about TWO of my suicide attempts. There have been several others. And only one of said total attempts happened before I met him. He is the reason that pushed me to all of the other suicide attempts. I've always remembered my pet(s) at the last minute and been able to stop myself/induce vomiting (for the attempts where I've purposefully ODed.) I just hope I can actually escape him soon.
Robert Benson 3 months ago
Don't "hope" for escape. Plan it out. If you have people in your life who care about you, tell them what it going on, but be careful. I understand how some men can appear nice to friends and family, so the family may not believe you, and worse, they might tell him. I've had one aunt who was able to escape such a situation, and another who wasn't. You don't know me, but if I can help... let me know
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Sky Render 3 months ago
The only thing I have ever really kept "secret" from my wife is the details of the stuff I did sexually in my 20s. And it's only technically a secret because I told her straight up that I had been disturbingly adventurous in my exploration back then and I would only share the details if she wants to know; she does not. We often joke that we "don't talk about my 20s" because of that.
35 cabbages in a trenchcoat 3 months ago
You can refer to it as your roaring 20s lol
Load More Replies... Papa 3 months ago
The first time I met my wife's parents they served leg of lamb. Of course I complimented them on it, and said I really liked it, because what else are you going to do when meeting your future in-laws (we were already engaged)? The truth is I could barely choke it down. I'm sure it was well cooked and seasoned, but every time I've ever eaten sheep meat it seems like the longer I chew the bigger it gets. After that of course they'd serve it every time we visited since it was such at "treat" for me. I finally told my wife I didn't think I could eat any more of it. She told her parents, and they all thought it was hilarious (I had great in-laws).
Littlemiss 3 months ago
My husband doesn't realize how bad my passive suicidal idealation really is. It pops up more than I care to admit and sometimes it scares me where my brain goes without another thought. I am working incredibly hard against my own head every day just to continue going and it's exhausting. I struggle to breathe most days.
DudeFortitude (He/Him) 3 months ago
I would suggest just taking a drive, maybe go to a restaurant, and then find the closest place with some type of therapy and just say, "hi, I'd like to speak to someone. Anyone is fine." And just wait. Treat yourself. Listen to calming music. Please, if no one knows, no one can help you. 💜
Load More Replies... brittany 3 months ago
i'm intensely unhappy and think of the day i can pass away fondly. i wont do it to myself bc i dont ever want to risk my kids being the ones who find me like that no mater how old they get. i just really really want to be done with life and i hope reincarnation isnt real (or any afterlife for that matter) so i dont ever have to come back and can just go into nothingness
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago
My secret is that my boyfriend only knows about TWO of my suicide attempts. There have been several others. And only one of said total attempts happened before I met him. He is the reason that pushed me to all of the other suicide attempts. I've always remembered my pet(s) at the last minute and been able to stop myself/induce vomiting (for the attempts where I've purposefully ODed.) I just hope I can actually escape him soon.
Robert Benson 3 months ago
Don't "hope" for escape. Plan it out. If you have people in your life who care about you, tell them what it going on, but be careful. I understand how some men can appear nice to friends and family, so the family may not believe you, and worse, they might tell him. I've had one aunt who was able to escape such a situation, and another who wasn't. You don't know me, but if I can help... let me know
Load More Replies... Sky Render 3 months ago
The only thing I have ever really kept "secret" from my wife is the details of the stuff I did sexually in my 20s. And it's only technically a secret because I told her straight up that I had been disturbingly adventurous in my exploration back then and I would only share the details if she wants to know; she does not. We often joke that we "don't talk about my 20s" because of that.
35 cabbages in a trenchcoat 3 months ago
You can refer to it as your roaring 20s lol
Load More Replies... Papa 3 months ago
The first time I met my wife's parents they served leg of lamb. Of course I complimented them on it, and said I really liked it, because what else are you going to do when meeting your future in-laws (we were already engaged)? The truth is I could barely choke it down. I'm sure it was well cooked and seasoned, but every time I've ever eaten sheep meat it seems like the longer I chew the bigger it gets. After that of course they'd serve it every time we visited since it was such at "treat" for me. I finally told my wife I didn't think I could eat any more of it. She told her parents, and they all thought it was hilarious (I had great in-laws).
Littlemiss 3 months ago
My husband doesn't realize how bad my passive suicidal idealation really is. It pops up more than I care to admit and sometimes it scares me where my brain goes without another thought. I am working incredibly hard against my own head every day just to continue going and it's exhausting. I struggle to breathe most days.
DudeFortitude (He/Him) 3 months ago
I would suggest just taking a drive, maybe go to a restaurant, and then find the closest place with some type of therapy and just say, "hi, I'd like to speak to someone. Anyone is fine." And just wait. Treat yourself. Listen to calming music. Please, if no one knows, no one can help you. 💜
Load More Replies... brittany 3 months ago
i'm intensely unhappy and think of the day i can pass away fondly. i wont do it to myself bc i dont ever want to risk my kids being the ones who find me like that no mater how old they get. i just really really want to be done with life and i hope reincarnation isnt real (or any afterlife for that matter) so i dont ever have to come back and can just go into nothingness
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