Join the Fun!

Ganda1fderBlaue , Vera Arsic/pexels Report

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad She told me she's very manipulative. Turns out she's very manipulative.

Final score:

89points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Who'da thunk it?

37points

WhyLie2me18 , SHVETS production/pexels Report

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad When I first found out I was pregnant he wanted to draw a chalk outline of me and gave me a year to get back down to size.

Final score:

84points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

What waist size was he?

80points

DamonNightman , Chris Black/pexels Report

To learn more about the red flags that we encounter when dating, we reached out to Amie Leadingham, aka Amie the Dating Coach. The relationship expert was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss why we so often ignore glaringly obvious red flags.

"Many people tend to focus on the positive aspects of a potential partner and downplay negative signs, hoping things will work out," Amie shared. "Factors like loneliness, insecurity, or strong attraction can lead us to rationalize concerning behaviors, potentially causing us to idealize a person and miss crucial red flags."

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad My happy-go-lucky labradoodle who was a gentle giant not only tried to bite him, but went for his throat.

Final score:

83points

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HangryHangryHippo 1 month ago

If you ignore your gut feeling at least trust your pet's, they are furry angels on earth ♥️

55points

NuclearFamilyReactor , William Fortunato/pexels Report

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad His friends literally told me to stay away from him. That should have been a giant red flag. But noooo, it only intrigued me more. .

Final score:

79points

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sbj 1 month ago

If that's the case then I can't believe this guy has 'friends'

18points

obviousgaijin , Mikhail Nilov/pexels Report

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad Not me but my sister. When I first met her new boyfriend, I asked if he had any kids. Pretty straightforward and normal question. He got really awkward and gave an evasive answer of basically “it’s complicated.” It’s not complicated, he just has kids he doesn’t see or support. 🚩🚩🚩.

Final score:

75points

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Papa 1 month ago (edited)

My daughter told me she met a guy online and went out with him once. He said he had a child, but she likes children, so that wasn't an issue. At some point he mentioned that he may be taking a job in a different city. She asked how that would affect him seeing his child, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. That's why there wasn't a second date.

30points

AngelicAdornn , Kindel Media/pexels Report

We were also curious whether or not it's important to always address red flags. "If your gut is saying it's a red flag, then it is worth investigating. However, you can't make hasty decisions, as you might be wrong," Amie says.

"Whether ignoring red flags is justified depends on the nature and reliability of the information. Genuine red flags should be based on facts and patterns of behavior, not quick judgments or misinterpretations," the dating coach explained.

"Sometimes, what we perceive as a red flag may be a misunderstanding or a result of incomplete information," Amie pointed out. "Taking time to gather more context, communicate openly, and reflect on our own perceptions can help differentiate between real warning signs and premature judgments."

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad He got arrested on our first date.

Final score:

73points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Did this not give you a hint?

37points

Dapper-Tie-3125 , RDNE Stock project /pexels Report

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad Girl told me she has Borderline Personality Disorder. I thought I could handle it. Whew boy was I wrong.

Final score:

72points

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Boredest Panda 1 month ago

At least they told you right? Then you can make your own decisions early.

63points

SpecificFilm4097 , Pavel Danilyuk/pexels Report

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad That he threw an adult tantrum if he didn’t win at “board game” night. Oh, and he had to be right all the time. He’d “kindly” remind me that he was right in an argument that he’d often instigate.

Final score:

65points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

That wasn't a man, that was a child in a man's body.

48points

SceneNational6303 , Antoni Shkraba/pexels Report

We also asked the dating coach for some advice on how to get better at spotting red flags. "First, I advise creating a list of non-negotiables to identify red flags in dating. These deal breakers represent your core values, needs, and boundaries that you're unwilling to compromise on in a relationship," Amie shared.

"By clearly defining these beforehand, you're better equipped to recognize when someone's behavior or values conflict with your fundamental requirements. This list acts as a personal filter, helping you quickly identify incompatibilities that might not be immediately obvious but could lead to significant issues later," she explained.

#10

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad His mother told me not to marry him. If it were her she said, she would not wait for him- it would not be worth it. 3 years later I finally realized she was right and got divorced. She and I didn't always see eye to eye on things but I wish I had believed her then. She knew what her son was, better than I.

Final score:

64points

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Bec 1 month ago

Wait for him to what? Was he in jail or something>

15points

#11

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad He tried convincing me it was MY fault he got a speeding ticket otw to the grocery store because I didn’t want to go with him…

coldbrwd , Kindel Media/pexels Report

Final score:

64points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

That does not compute.

36points

Wheredounicornsgo , Pavel Danilyuk/pexels Report

#12

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad There were a few even in the beginning, but this one sticks out because it kept repeating. Any health issue I had was all about him. Not about concern and support for me, but how it made him feel and how he needed comforting. It’s really messed up, actually, when I look back on it.

Final score:

63points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago (edited)

Because it you are sick then how can you look after him in the manner he is accustomed to? Do you not realise the negative effect this has on the poor man?

35points

Cute-Hottie , RDNE Stock project /pexels Report

"When you encounter situations that break these non-negotiables, it's a clear red flag, regardless of other positive qualities the person might have. The relationship will not work because they cannot meet your non-negotiable," Amie continued.

"Second, recognizing red flags often starts with tuning into your body's signals and trusting your gut instincts. When you feel a sense of unease, tension, or discomfort around someone, pay attention," she told Bored Panda. "These physical and emotional responses can be your subconscious mind picking up on subtle cues that something isn't right."

#13

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad He still lived with his “ex” girlfriend. She wasn’t his ex… he was dating both of us at the same time. But he gave me this big sob story about how he had nowhere to live and me being so naive, believed him.

Final score:

61points

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Mama Clare 1 month ago

Ooooh I can beat that ha ha

15points

intensenerd , Mido Makasardi ©️/pexels Report

#14

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad Drove 1500 miles to meet her family. When I got to their home in super rural Missouri, her brother was being interviewed by producers from the Jerry Springer show because their grandpa (29 years older than them) had stolen his girlfriend.

Final score:

59points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Grandpa 29 years older than the grandchildren? How in the Clampetts from Hell is the possible? Lots of underage breeding.... No thanks .

51points

SweetLadyBabe , Vitaly Gariev/pexels Report

#15

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad Possessive type of guy. He gets jealous most of the time even when I'm just talking to my female friends. He doesn't want me to talk to other guys even at work.

Final score:

54points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

What an insecure bumnugget.

39points

PuzzleheadedTie8752 , cottonbro studio/pexels Report

When it comes to how your body may react to red flags, Amie says common signals include a knot in your stomach, tightness in your chest, or a general feeling of anxiety when interacting with or thinking about the person or situation.

"Your gut instinct might manifest as a nagging doubt or a persistent feeling that something is off, don't ignore it. It's crucial to acknowledge these feelings rather than dismissing them," she noted.

"Though these sensations aren't always proof of a problem, they're often your intuition's way of alarming you to potential issues that deserve more examination. Learning to recognize and trust these internal warning systems can be a powerful tool in identifying red flags early in relationships," the expert says.

#16

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad After being exclusive for a few months, he was casually scrolling Tinder. He was so confused why I would be upset. He said I never said “no tinder”

Final score:

53points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago (edited)

You never said no tinder. The next week, you never said no Bumbl. The next week you never said no Match.com. The next week, you never said no hook up sites ever. The next week, you never said no prostitutes.

40points

vstacey6 , cottonbro studio/pexels Report

#17

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad He asked me to move in while ALL of his wife’s clothes were still in the dresser and closet of the master bedroom. Bras, underwear, socks, shoes, all of it. Even her wedding dress.

Final score:

46points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

Where was the wife? Under the patio?

86points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#18

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad "Looking back, the biggest red flag I ignored was when my ex would always play the victim, no matter what the situation was. Anytime we had an argument, somehow it would flip around to be about how *I* hurt *them* or didn’t understand them, even when they were clearly in the wrong. I thought I could help them see things differently or that it was just a phase, but it turned into a pattern that never changed. Definitely wish I hadn’t overlooked that one.".

bunny_rainbow69 , RDNE Stock project /pexels Report

Final score:

43points

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ConstantlyJon 1 month ago

I'll admit, I have a difficult time not seeing myself as a victim in a lot of arguments. It's definitely something I'm working on with my wife. There are times when she does actually hurt me, but there are times when I hurt her and just because she responds a certain way that I didn't like or she wasn't as gentle saying she was hurt doesn't mean that all of the sudden the argument needs to be about me. Trying to keep humble is so damn hard sometimes. Always trying to be self-aware and work on my s**t for our relationship to grow. But we're inherently selfish, it's so hard sometimes to look outside of my own perspective.

6points

Leavemelonely1 , ira dulger/pexels Report

#19

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad My boyfriend would tell me everyday how I deserved so much more and now I’m too good for him. Then one night while we were out at a bar he told me that “he is not the man that I need. I’m too good for him”. I proceeded to tell him “nah, don’t say that” for another year…
Next time a man tells me “I’m too good for them” I am putting my running shoes on and running as fast as possible.

Final score:

43points

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Boredest Panda 1 month ago

I think he thinks it’s meant to be sweet, no matter if you think so or not. Of course, if you feel uncomfortable in the relationship that’s not good either. I wouldn’t consider this the reddest of the red flags here, as I think this can be fixed.

10points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#20

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad My partner of over a year didn’t reach out to me for 5 days after I had major surgery. My first ever surgery, and one considered to be an amputation. Not a single text. I saw him through the very same surgery years before when we were only college roommates.

When I reached out to him while still bed-bound and asked why the radio silence, he said he “had his own stuff going on” with his mental health. Like he always did. I’ve never felt as lonely as I did in that relationship.

I stayed another year and a half before deciding he didn’t actually care about me specifically; he just wanted the security of a relationship and I probably could have been replaced by anyone. I will never date someone who isn’t objectively stoked about it ever again.

Former-Finish4653 , Andrea Piacquadio/pexels Report

Final score:

42points

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Shark Lady 1 month ago

Had several relationships and even friendships break down because they didn't want to deal with me having Crohn's. I find it easier to be alone now, I used to get so lonely in hospital but now I don't even notice that no one has even been to visit me. Thank goodness for cats.

3points

#21

“I’m an empath”

Said the least empathetic people I’ve ever met.

_TheTrashyPanda_ Report

Final score:

42points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago (edited)

I have noticed that trait with some empaths I have met. Seems to be something people say to let you know how special and enlightened they are, when the exact opposite is true.

24points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#22

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad I once dated someone for 3+ years who never drove to see me. I always had to drive an hour to see him every weekend. I felt so alone and heartbroken the entire time we were together. I was so exhausted from working 40+ hours a week and driving so much just to make it work.

Outrageous-Spite-408 , Pixabay /pexels Report

Final score:

41points

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Skogsrået 1 month ago

Ugh, i wouldn't even stay a year with someone that puts zero effort in to the relationship.

15points

#23

An ankle monitor.

Iron_Rail Report

Final score:

40points

POST

Max Pasterski 1 month ago

Leave and he can’t get you

17points

#24

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad I was with my ex for almost three years, and because of strange situations I felt the need to search through his phone and I found a message saved on Snapchat with his girl best friend saying that he wanted to see her naked. I talked with him about it and he told me that he said that bc all his friend group were planning to go to a nudist spa. I believed him and forgave him ;-;.

KuroTenhi , Andres Ayrton/pexels Report

Final score:

37points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago

The nudist spa you were not invited to?

44points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#25

I had a partner that would bring their gaming laptop with them when they would come to visit me, and essentially would ignore me 80% of the time they were at mine to use it. Would assure me that when we lived together that wouldn't be the case, so I proceeded to ignore it. Turns out that 80% of the time turned into 100% of the time after I uprooted my life to live with them. I wasn't even allowed to touch the guy for any kind of comfort let alone anything else during the odd hour he would allow me together maybe once a month. But as I say, completely on me for ignoring the blatant red flag in the first place.

Gem-Megumi Report

Final score:

35points

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago (edited)

He was probably super important in World of Warcraft and you were distracting him from his responsibilities...

19points

AdventurousSofi , Timur Weber /pexels Report

#26

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad Someone consistently breaking promises but still claiming to be reliable.

Final score:

34points

POST

Barry 1 month ago

Because it's never their fault!

4points

MelodicMoonlight_ , Antoni Shkraba/pexels Report

#27

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad Love bombing from the very beginning. He also told me one week in that he loved me.

Final score:

32points

POST

The only Plueschopossum 1 month ago (edited)

Yeah, love bombing due to doing Heroin (he made me believe in the beginning that he was over it). I was too naive. And I was naive again when I found out that he is in NO WAY over it. So I thought, I could handle that along with his depression and his affinity for literally any other d**g that exists on this planet. I thought I could handle that because apart from that he's a really cool guy. Very smart, doing great in his job that he loves, always active and interested in learning new things etc. Well... 8 years later I think that I've never been so wrong. All his good sides cannot compensate his d**g abuse and his mental illness for me. On top of that: we can't argue with each other in a constructive way. And we never could. *Edit* 2 years ago some of you guys already told me to pack my bag and run. I think it's time to do so.

24points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#28

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad His whole extended family disliked him and thought he was flaky. He fed me a sob story about how they were all a******s. I ate it up. I had so much empathy. No, he’s just a flaky a*****e.

Dreamy-Muse , Mia /pexels Report

Final score:

32points

POST

Tele Avision 1 month ago

Looking at that photo, I'm already to swipe left.

7points

#29

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad He liked memes about cheating on Instagram

Mulberry888 , Ali Pli/pexels Report

Final score:

31points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago (edited)

Cheating on exams? You mean cheating on exams right?

14points

Naughtyx-Angel , Mikhail Nilov/pexels Report

#30

People Saw These 30 Red Flags In Their Partners And Somehow Thought They Weren’t Too Bad Keeping an emotional distance. It's hard to notice when you're smitten but it's a huge red flag when they keep you at arms length but close enough to not make you feel neglected.

Final score:

26points

POST

Vivi Pettiss 1 month ago

That just sounds like having boundaries...

9points

Note: this post originally had 70 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

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Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

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I'm a Visual Editor for Bored Panda. I’m also an analog collage artist. My love for images and experience in layering goes well with both creating collages by hand and working with digital images as an Editor. When I’m not using my kitchen area as an art studio I also do various experiments making my own cosmetics or brewing kombucha. When I’m not at home you would most definitely find me attending a concert or walking my dog.

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What do you think ?

POST

cherry~ 1 month ago

He told me that if I didn't agree to have sex with him whenever he wanted it, I didn't love him. He also insisted I should understand rape and domestic violence to be expressions of love and would constantly be jealous of any man I talked to that wasn't him. I was seven years younger (he was 20) and he was on the other side of the world...it was never going to work out.

7points

ConstantlyJon 1 month ago

I'm no mathematician, but the whole "hey 13 year old, have sex with me whenever I want and it's ok if it's rape" thing is about the biggest red flag I've ever seen. Holy f*****g Christ get away from that man. If you're on the other side of the world, that's the proper distance to stay away from him. Now Block Block Block on everything.

10points

weatherwitch 1 month ago

Sweetie he was a paedophile. No 20 year old is interested in going out with a 13 year old. He just wanted sex with a minor. And control. I was a very late starter at relationships and was groomed myself by someone twice my age. Block him. Report him. Stay safe ❤️

4points

Ringofant 1 month ago

WTF??? This is not a "red flag"! It's a fully rigged ship with red sails!!

4points

Auntriarch 1 month ago

He may not have been on the other side of the world. And he definitely needs reporting if he's in a country with proper laws

2points

Steve 1 month ago

He said immigrants were eating cats and dogs in Ohio

6points

Lene 1 month ago

Hey! I just read about that conspiracy! It is weird.

0points

Magpie 1 month ago

He told me he was a "sensitive new age guy". You know that is a s.n.a.g. Yeah he was sensitive to his own feelings. Which were "right" and "correct". And mine were ALL wrong.

5points

NoName 1 month ago

Also, if someone puts "I may look evil, but I swear your mom will love me" on his Tinder profile, swipe ALL THE WAY left. You just skipped passed a sociopath. I learned a hard life lesson there after he told me to kill myself. He was 47 going on 12. Don't be afraid to research people. Found out he had four restraining orders, and he got livid pissed when I asked him about them.

2points

sweet emotion 1 month ago

He would tell me how naive I was and that I didn't understand the real world and I needed a street-smart man like him to take care of me. Meanwhile I'm the one with a college degree and a full time job and he's drinking away his unemployment checks.

2points

Natalie Westby 1 month ago

My ex told me that I was his #2. It took me a while to realize that he was calling me s**t. I was never enough. I wasn't fit enough or thin enough. After we broke up, he got married like 2 months later with a woman he was probably cheating on me with. She cheated on him with a younger man and divorced him, taking the house.

1point

NoName 1 month ago

Oh boy... I have a hum dinger of a story. Back in the days of AOL instant messenger, I connected with someone in my town in a heavy metal room. I was 15 and he was 24. I realized who I was talking to after awhile, it was one of my older sister's friends. So I told her about it, not even realizing that he hit on me several times. I was naive and didn't read between the lines. So, my sister starts dating him, but they don't work out. He's filthy with a cute face and magic weiner lol fast forward a few years, and we read in the paper about how he got arrested and convicted of having secks with a 14 year old and having her take gross pictures with her equally underaged friend. He's still in prison, and there's a website where all his baby mamas fight with each other over who is more deserving of him. It's total Jerry Springer material.

1point

DC and S 1 month ago

I'm both crushed and yet finding solace that I am far from alone in blinding loving the wrong person. Way too many sh*tty partners out there!

0points

Jessica SpeLangm 1 month ago

I couldn't even make it through half of these stories. There are some f'd up people out there.

0points

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cherry~ 1 month ago

7points

ConstantlyJon 1 month ago

10points

weatherwitch 1 month ago

4points

Ringofant 1 month ago

WTF??? This is not a "red flag"! It's a fully rigged ship with red sails!!

4points

Auntriarch 1 month ago

He may not have been on the other side of the world. And he definitely needs reporting if he's in a country with proper laws

2points

Steve 1 month ago

He said immigrants were eating cats and dogs in Ohio

6points

Lene 1 month ago

Hey! I just read about that conspiracy! It is weird.

0points