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It happens to the best of us — parents, kids, college students, tenured professors, CEOs — and it happens to us all the time. Just because you have a successful career or a natural talent to achieve anything you want in life, it doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Because no one is immune to making mistakes. No one can avoid the occasional slip-ups. And no one is safe from messing up in life. It's a guarantee that cannot be escaped no matter how hard we try.
That's just the universe teaching us lessons over and over and over again until we finally listen. But in some unfortunate cases, they do tend to come in heavy and heartbreaking ways. "What’s the biggest mistake you’ve watched someone make in their personal life?" Redditor Ordinary-Ad5763 asked, and thousands of responses immediately started rolling in.
Below, we at Bored Panda have gathered some of the most honest, real, and painful stories from the thread, and they show that sometimes, the price for our errors is too high. Just to warn you, this thread may not be for the faintest of hearts. But turning a blind eye to these authentic accounts won't make life any brighter. So continue scrolling, upvote as you go, and if you're up for it, share your own experiences with us in the comments. Keep reading to also find our interview with psychologist Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., where we discuss how to best handle these situations on an emotional level.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My wife just had a c-section, and was complaining about a pain in her leg but never got it checked out. Two weeks later; Blood Clot.
October 13th will mark my third year without her.
RELATED:
#2
A good friend of mine threw away 15 years of military service because he didn’t want to take the COVID vaccine. 5 years from retirement and incredible healthcare for his wife and children all gone. He joined a religion recently and decided he wanted to get a religious exemption which was denied so he opted for an administrative discharge. The fool…
#3
Have kids under the hope they'll fix their marriage.
Children are not accessories
Whether it’s in our work environment or our relationships, every single one of us makes mistakes at some point. Life inevitably throws curveballs to give us valuable learning opportunities. They may hit us hard at first, but what matters more than any misstep or its magnitude is our response afterward.
To learn more about our tendency to make mistakes and how much of a toll they take on our emotional health, we reached out to Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., a psychologist and creator of Mental Drive. He started this well-being initiative to help people access the best-in-class psychological and performance tools to live healthier, more fulfilled, and successful lives.
"We are social beings," Klapow told Bored Panda. "We are hardwired to seek acceptance. When we do things that put us at risk of rejection, the natural emotional response is one of embarrassment, fear, stress, and frustration. This is who we are at the deepest levels."
#4
One of my best friends walked out on his wife and two kids because a girl at the gym and him were having a relationship.
As it actually turned out, she was just being friendly and chatting to him. No relationship, no mutual decision to be together, nothing. He misunderstood polite friendliness for flirting, and destroyed his own family for it.
#5
One of my students was offered a 95% scholarship to Juilliard. They turned it down because they felt a 95% scholarship was a slap to the face, and instead decided not to go to school. Last I heard they weren’t playing, and were working minimum wage, but talking about how good they used to be.
#6
Single mother of 3 living in poverty. Gave her parents her $6000 tax refund to hold onto because she didn't want her abusive ex to convince her to split it with him.
Parents spent it all in weeks.
The psychologist pointed out that when we make a mistake, it can be hard initially to accept it. "We may know intellectually that we have made an error but emotionally, we are triggered to figure out how to make that mistake not be a reality."
Some of the most common tactics we use to justify our actions are generating reasons why the mistake isn’t actually a mistake, reducing the magnitude of the mistake down to its smallest existence, and blaming the error on the action of others rather than ourselves. "All done to shield the reality that we have done something wrong."
#7
Let go of a girl close to their wedding because of his idea of what a wife should be like. Lives in deep regret now as she married his friend & they’re really happy whilst he has never found anyone else.
#8
Having a 3rd kid, when you can barely afford the first two in order to "save" the marriage.
DEW 2 years ago
I hope the child is loved and not treated like a burden. We had a third child. My two kids were 8 and 10. He was very planned. What we didn't count on was him having a liver disease called Biliary Atresia. Then when he got older he was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 6. Fought the school because they wanted him out of their school. We don't know how long we have him for but he's going to be 20 yrs. old in January!!
#9
Cheating with someone in your company who’s about to get married despite having two kids and a wife of your own **cough Ned**
Air Conditioner 2 years ago
I was like this sounds familiar then read "ned" lmao, Becky and Eugene should be able to just drink wine and say whatever they want to
As you can see from the examples in this list, sometimes living with our errors can be extremely hard. Not only do they damage our pride and self-confidence, but they can also turn into downright personal disasters and the biggest regrets we carry through life.
When asked what kind of toll these errors in judgment have on well-being, Klapow explained their impact on our mental state often depends on how we regard the mistake. "The interpretation can literally change the emotional impact of that mistake," he told us. "If we see mistakes as a chance to learn something, to gain insight, to have a way to do things differently next time, then the mistake has a far less negative impact."
#10
My uncle got himself a mistress. Lent her $10,000 he never got back and lost his job defending her at work. Wife served him divorce papers short afterwards. He gave up his house to his wife. So he ended up jobless and homeless, sleeping on our couch at the ripe age of 60.
#11
My high school philosophy teacher cheated on his wife with my classmate. His daughter was in the year below us. She transferred schools out of embarrassment when her dad finally left the family to pursue a relationship with the 18-year old. Yuck.
#12
Grandma eventually losing several hundred thousand on the stock market based on astrology. This was in 2007...
Well, we’ve heard a million times that every mistake is a lesson to be learned: they are "a portal to learning, growth, and mastery." It's safe to say that facing our blunders is hard and often scary, but making them can be beneficial. It all depends on the perspective.
The healthiest way to tackle mistakes, as Klapow mentioned, is to look at our behaviors whenever we stumble and fall, take notes, and accept this learning opportunity. If we take action and make sure we’re not constantly beating ourselves up about it, we come out as stronger and more resilient human beings.
But how often do we see them as growing experiences? While this varies from person to person, some people refuse to accept reality and get tangled in their failures, unable to continue with their lives.
#13
Friend retired with a full pension 15 years ago.
At the time he kept bragging about how he was starting a business with some random guy he knew. He legit said, "He's the idea guy. I have the savings and the good credit score."
Took out a huge loan, bought a bunch of expensive equipment.
Shocker: business folded within 6 months, "partner" vanished with all the equipment.
And now this guy, who should be enjoying his golden years, will be working retail until he drops.
#14
Must be my disabled brother who fell for an internet scam. He met a woman online, she lived in a different continent but he was certain she was the love of his life. Spent over a year chatting and e-mailing her, and helping her with money from time to time. Very fishy stuff, but he refused to listen to my scepticism. It ended when he had saved up enough money to go visit her. He went, came back 2 days later and refused to ever admit what had happened. Went to his grave without ever talking about it.
Second place goes to my father who cheered him on. He wasn't sure wether it was a scam or not, but he thought it was nice that my brother had hopes and dreams.
#15
Dump all of their savings ($30k or so) into random crypto at the height of the market. They were trying to get more money to put towards a house but lost a majority of it when things crashed. When their significant other found out they left.
"If we continually make mistakes, don’t see them as a learning opportunity, or are in a position where we are not able to ever succeed, our self-confidence takes a significant beating," Klapow added. To move forward from this emotional state, the creator of Mental Drive offered these suggestions:
- Find meaning in the mistake from a learning perspective
- Recognize and remind yourself that perfection is not how people live or grow
- Evaluate the mistakes relative to other mistakes you have made so that each mistake is not seen as "the worst", and learn that mistakes are frequent and not always catastrophic.
#16
My friend chose to have a child with a man who had cheated on her multiple times, while still in high school.
#17
I don't know what changed him exactly, but he started calling himself an alpha male, and questioning any activity, clothing choice, type of car, career path, drink, etc as alpha or not. He bulked up and got large muscles but also still carries a beer gut. He tries to have his shirt off whenever possible, but it doesn't work for his body type.
The constant seeking for assurances that something is alpha or not got tiring, or being told something someone was doing is beta behavior when I didn't have any interest or care made me stop hanging out.
Of course, he now calls me a beta for not being alpha enough to hang out with him.
#18
I watched my friend throw an engineering career with Boeing away because he decided to smoke a bowl to celebrate getting the job. It was a military contract.
But this does beg the question, can hearing about the blunders others made help us avoid the same mistakes in our personal lives? "Because mistakes have an automatic and deep emotional impact, we have a tendency to think that we are the only ones who make them," the psychologist said.
"Seeing other people in the same situation making the same mistakes helps us to reality test, helps us feel not as bad or alone in the mistake, and often helps us see someone else taking a mistaken action that we then can learn not to take when a similar situation arises," Klapow concluded.
#19
Used to work security at a concert venue. Big enough place to require a couple cops outside the front door for insurance purposes. Had to ask someone to leave for drinking underage. He got mouthy on the way out and started to fight me. Was near the front door and the cops jumped in to help. He punched the cop and his nose bled. Went from a “hey man, don’t drink underage in here next time you come back” to a Felony.
#20
Falling into the Qanon hole and isolating themselves from everyone they loved.
Vorknkx 2 years ago
QAnon is basically the last refuge for desperate losers that haven't achieved anything in life. It gives them a fake sense of "superiority" through the belief that they possess some top-secret knowledge about some hidden war taking place between Trump and some nebulous evil elite. It's all poorly written fan fiction, of course...
#21
Watching them become less themselves because of the person they are with.
#22
A guy in his mid 50s always worked under the table. Never filed a tax return. Didn't understand that he wouldn't qualify for social security. When I showed him the requirements on the [ssa.gov](https://ssa.gov) website, I thought he was going to cry.
#23
Buy an apartment with a person they dated for less than 6 months.
Garry Cowan 2 years ago
Married my wife after knowing her around 6 months that was 7 years ago and now I've went from a drug addicted homeless guy sleeping under bridges to having a beautiful wife a lovely house and a great job I even have a savings account with more money than I could ever have dreamt of....I am so grateful for the day I met her
#24
I have two:
1. Took a loan out to go on a European vacation.
2. Took a loan out to pay for rent. Now this one is bad because it wasn’t because they needed a place to live, it’s that they wanted a really nice place to live and they have a so called “ certain standard of living”. They could have afforded a nice small house here to rent but instead she wanted a gigantic house in a wealthier neighborhood to rent.
It’s the same person.
#25
My brother ran for public office without having an agenda. He had no leadership qualifications, background in position, or support from anyone in the community. His took out a 10K personal loan to finance his political run and held one fundraiser where most of the attendees were family and couldn't vote for him. He lost badly, coming in last behind four other candidates. It took him years to pay back the loan and refill his savings, which he completely drained to pay for signage and flyers. Saddest of all, the printer misspelled his name on both items, so any remnant is a harsh reminder of how badly things went.
#26
Waste their entire inheritance on drugs.
Bleep Bloop 2 years ago
There's a lot less agency involved in this choice compared to others -- if any. Addiction sucks :(
#27
Family friend quit their government job after 23 years, 2 years before qualifying for a pension. They did it just because they wanted a change.
They withdrew their pension contributions and bought a investment property at the absolute worst time.
Now they are jobless and struggling to keep up with the overhead. Everyone advised against it and they still did it.
#28
My sister owned a home with her husband and first child.
Her father-in-law convinced them that if they sold their house and became live-in caretakers for some old relative of his that he would leave his supposedly nice house in Austin to them. They'd get to live rent free at this house, it would be theirs outright when he dies, and they'd be set.
So they sell their house, move to Austin where they don't have jobs and move in with this guy. And it's absolute chaos. Guy is constantly watching porn on the living room tv with their toddler around, doing inappropriate old guy stuff, telling them what they can and cannot do in the house and when they can come and go. It's a freaking nightmare.
They end up leaving the house, and getting their own place. They also eventually moved to another state for a few years and came back. They've never been able to buy another house since housing prices have gone way up and they didn't have enough equity on their other house that they sold, so they've been bouncing from [bad] apartment to [bad] apartment ever since.
#29
Being passive and just letting everything happen to him.
He wasn't sure if he wanted kids or not, but his girlfriend did, so they had sex without condoms. She got pregnant, with **twins**. He looks absolutely miserable.
Similar things happened to him involving housing. His family convinced him to put the parent's mortgage in his name. Things got messy.
Don't just let things happen to you.
#30
A buddy that live with me for a while got a car he couldn’t afford because he was obsessed with image. Stopped making payments, tried to part out the car and report as stolen since he had the bright idea that would bring more money than just giving it back to the bank. Then got into check fraud, which landed him in jail. Been in and out of the system ever since, from stories I hear.
#31
Taking out unfathomable loans for their business on top of taking out unfathomable loans out for a wedding.
#32
My friend failed psych evals to join the Army, once he got around that exception he was kicked out within a year. He robbed the corner store less than a mile from his house. He was in full SWAT gear with a tactical mask. Everyone knew exactly who it was, there were 8 calls to Crime Stoppers identifying him. He was arrested within 3 hours of the crime with the still loaded pistol in his car. If he had used a fake gun, or an unloaded pistol he would have gotten 1/2 or 1/4 the prison sentence. He went from being in the ARMY to prison in less than a month.
#33
I have a cheapskate uncle that spent his life saving into a junk bond, compounding the interest, putting all his income in and living like an absolute beggar, even as he became a millionaire. You might be thinking to yourself "nothing wrong with frugality". No it is more than that, he used to come to my parent's house, spend the entire day eating our food, and not leaving before my mother packed him more food for the week for free(my mom's fault for not setting harder boundaries too).
Anyway after all that, the sum hit 1.2 mill or so and then the junk bond went bust, and he lost all his money at 70 years of age. The man was making around 10k a month at the height of it, and spending at most 300$ a month.
Remember to invest in your relationships and your goodwill folks!
#34
Friend worked hard to gain the credentials to advance his career to his goals. It took four months for him to get busted having an affair with a subordinate and he lost all he worked for and ended up losing his license.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Men, this is what happens when you let you “little brain” make stupid decisions for you.
#35
My brother was getting scouted by Northeastern colleges to play football after playing remarkably well in high school….
He dropped out of high school 6 months before he graduated….
What do you think ?
Chich 2 years ago
Heard of a fellow whose brother was diagnosed with prostate cancer. His friends & family urged him to get tested but he refused due to some male pride b******t. Finally went to the Dr when symptoms showed up and were getting bad. Had had the cancer for a while and lived about two painful years. Would have likley been fine had he got checked when he should have.
Chich 2 years ago
Heard of a fellow whose brother was diagnosed with prostate cancer. His friends & family urged him to get tested but he refused due to some male pride b******t. Finally went to the Dr when symptoms showed up and were getting bad. Had had the cancer for a while and lived about two painful years. Would have likley been fine had he got checked when he should have.
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