Legendary Samurai Musashi Miyamoto, undefeated in about 60 duels and fought in 3 battles was challenged to a duel. This duel was to take place on an island and he also knew his opponent would be using a longer than average blade (I think it was called an 'Odachi')

Being the zesty undefeated self-assured wise guy that he was, he accepted the duel, rowed to the island, and then proceeded to beat his opponent to death *with the f*****g boat ore he used to row there because he knew it was longer than his opponents blade by just a few inches*

His opponent wanted to prove himself and use a longer blade so It could technically be said that Musashi literally killed a man in a d**k measuring contest of sorts.

Edit : Forgive grammar and format, T9's a hard time.

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During the conquest of Constantinapol (now Istanbul), when Sultan Mehmet had his ships carried on oily stakes by thousands of men to get past the big chain that prevents ships to enter Bosphorus.

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On 30th September 1938, a treaty called the Munich agreement was signed, causing Germany's annexation of Sudetenland (a region of western Czechoslovakia, where many German people lived). It was signed by leaders of the UK, France, Italy, and Germany. UK and France signed it, because Hitler promised, that he won't go to war if he got the Sudetenland (we all know how that turned out). But that's not all. The biggest "f**k you" to Czechoslovakia was, that they weren't invited to the meeting. Yes, they weren't invited to the meeting about their own region. Also, France was an ally of Czechoslovakia at the time. So yeah, thanks for supporting France.

Chajsngebige , wikipedia Report

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When Germanic tribes invaded Britain after the Romans left, they named the native Celts *Welisc*, meaning "foreigner" (even though they themselves were the foreigners). That later became the word *Welsh*, which the English promptly adopted for phrases like *welch on a bet*.

TL;DR: all of history has been one giant etymological middle finger to the Welsh.

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I would say the moment that Rollo swore allegiance to the French king:

"the bishops present suggested that Rollo kiss the king’s foot, as a sign of submission. It was probably an idea intended to humiliate Rollo, and was not taken very well.

After some discussion, it was agreed that one of Rollo’s men would do it. However, the person chosen lifted the king’s foot, and, without bending down, brought it up to his mouth. Not surprisingly the king fell over, amid general laughter in the court. Following this amusing scene, the king and his men swore to honour the concession to Rollo."

gonatt , wikipedia Report

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This is like the opposite of what you’re asking for because it could have been a big f**k you but it went another way.

Abraham Lincoln, while still a largely unknown frontier lawyer, was asked to assist in a law case by some big wigs out in the east because the trial was going to be held in Springfield and they wanted a local lawyer on the team.

Well the location of the trial got moved but the big wig lawyers never told Lincoln they didn’t need him anymore. He worked really hard on some arguments and showed up to the trial which was now in Ohio or something.

The big wig lawyers were pretty rude to him when he showed up and didn’t use any of his arguments and didn’t allow him to participate.

They did eventually send him a check for payment but Abe sent it back. They did send it back writing enough to get Abe to deposit the check.

When Abe became president he eventually asked the head lawyer of the big wigs in this case (Edwin Stanton) to be his secretary of War. Edwin Stanton grew to truly love Abraham Lincoln and was a very effective Secretary of War. Abe could have remembered the snub from earlier in his career and refused to have anything to do with Stanton but Abe was never truly offended and saw Stanton as a good person to have in his cabinet.

sillywabbittrix , wikipedia Report

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Battle of Stalingrad. The German commander, Friedrich Paulus, wants to surrender to the Soviets. He has no food and is trapped. He calls up Hitler to ask for permission to surrender and Hitler says no. In fact Hitler promotes him to Field Marshal. This is a “f**k you” because in the history of Prussia and Germany no Field Marshal has ever surrendered. Hitler only did this to ensure Paulus wouldn’t surrender. He basically told him to either die as a Field Marshal or live as a disgrace to Germany.

In another “f**k you” Paulus does surrender and in fact becomes a fervent communist and worked with the Soviets in captivity.

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French surrender in WW2: "Hitler dictates that the French capitulation take place at Compiegne, a forest north of Paris. This is the same spot where twenty-two years earlier the Germans had signed the Armistice ending World War I. Hitler intends to disgrace the French and avenge the German defeat. To further deepen the humiliation, he orders that the signing ceremony take place in the same railroad car that hosted the earlier surrender.

The Armistice is signed on June 22. Under its terms, two thirds of France is to be occupied by the Germans. The French army is to be disbanded. In addition, France must bear the cost of the German invasion."

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Not a historian, but this is one of my favorites:

"On Dec. 22, four German couriers approached American lines under a flag of truce, carrying a message "from the German commander to the American commander."
Asserting that Bastogne was "encircled," the note gave McAuliffe, who was acting commander of the 101st in the absence of Maj. Gen. Maxwell Taylor, two hours to surrender or face "total annihilation." It offered "the privileges of the Geneva Convention" to the would-be POWs.
What came next would be one of World War II's seminal moments.


To the German commander.

**"Nuts!"** From the American commander.

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My favorite is the simplified humorous description of the French attempt to defeat Russia.

French demand: We have captured your capital, surrender immediately.

Russian response: No...

French response: But... But we have already captured your capital.

Russian response: Too bad.

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The "Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks" is the best response to a demand for surrender, ever.

In response to requests by the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire to desist attacks and submit:


"Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!


O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked a**e? The devil sh*ts, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a wh*re, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, f**k thy mother.


Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-f****r of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our d**k. Pig's snout, mare's a**e, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!


So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our a**e!


- Koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host."

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Not a historian, so don't know much about this, but remember that meme about the hot Lucifer statue this guy built for a church? Well, it was considered too alluring and distracting for the young girls at the church, so they removed it and commissioned the guys brother to do another one. The next statue is considered to be even hotter. They just kept it.

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IN AD 37 the new Roman Emperor Gaius, better known by the nickname Caligula, built a bridge across the sea.

It stretched three miles across the deep blue waters of the Bay of Naples at ancient Rome’s most fashionable seaside resort of Baiae.

But Caligula’s was no ordinary bridge. It was a temporary, floating structure built on wooden pontoons, a costly and impressive feat of engineering. It served a single purpose before being dismantled.

On a day of boiling heat watched by crowds of spectators, Caligula rode across the bridge. His armour glinted in the sunlight, for the 24-year-old emperor had dressed himself in the golden breastplate of the legendary Greek hero Alexander The Great.

On the following day Caligula made the journey in reverse, this time riding in a chariot, followed by soldiers of his personal guard.

It was a pointless piece of showmanship, lost on the majority of the crowd, several of whom fell drunkenly to their deaths in the sea after two days’ partying.

One historian claimed Caligula pulled the stunt to disprove a prophecy that he had no more chance of becoming emperor than of riding a horse across the Bay of Baiae.

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In 1941 the US requested Panama grant a 999-year-long lease to build over 100 military bases within their country, the Panama government asked for compensation in return which the US felt was too high.
The US responded by overthrowing their government by orchestrating a coup. They then signed an agreement with the new one.

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Operation Paul Bunyan. It’s 1976. Some Americans at the Korean DMZ are cutting down a tree that obscures their vision to the North Korean side. A couple of North Koreans come out and kill a few Americans with their own axe. The Americans and South Koreans come back with such a massive show of force it’s not even funny. Bombers, jet planes, 27 helicopters, a full aircraft carrier moved off the coast. Thousands of troops, troop carriers, commandos, all just to send in a squad of army engineers with chainsaws to cut down that god damn tree.

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I’m not an historian, but i know this ww1 fact: in 1918 during the battle of Villers-Bretonneux, major James Robertson made a plan to steal a german tank stuck in no man’s land. There was no point in getting it, because it was dangerous going out there and the tank wasn’t a threat to anyone. Not giving f**k about that he grouped with 12 other men to retrieve that tank, under machine gun fire and inside mustard gas, just to say to the german army “f**k you, look what we got here”. Thanks to him and the other men, today that tank is the only original WW1 tank we have and it’s called “Mephisto”.

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One of my favorites was during the Opium War when the British tried to attack China via sea. The Chinese knew that the British navy was going to f**k their s**t up, and they couldn't respond fast enough, so they decided that being absolutely batsh*t crazy would work best.

They got their catapults ready, and when the British were close enough, the Chinese took monkeys, lit them on fire, and f*****g **launched** them at the British ships. The British were horrified when flaming monkey corpses landed on their boat and were like, f**k the opium, they were out.

TLDR: The British tried to invade China. China threw flame-doused monkeys at them.

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The construction and use of the Warwolf, supposedly the largest trebuchet ever built. When it was disassembled it would fill up 30 wagons. So anyways, king Edward the first built this to siege a Scottish castle. But before it was even built the Scottish people tried to surrender. To which Edward responded with a prompt no(in actuality he responded with “You do not deserve any grace, but must surrender to my will” in other words, I built this trebuchet over 40 days and I am most definitely going to use it) and proceeded to use the trebuchet anyways.

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Construction of the Lion’s Mound Monument in Waterloo after Napoleon’s defeat at the hands of the allies. The giant statue is showing its a*s to England while roaring at France.

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On the crowning of King Henry VII, he backdated his own reign to before the date of the Battle of Bosworth, meaning anyone who was loyal to him now but had shown any sign of opposition at Bosworth was now a traitor and an enemy to the realm. Justice served.

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Morocco was the first country to recognize the independence of the United States, which was very nice of them, but the reason they did it was that they had a treaty with England which prevented them from tolerating or engaging in piracy against English ships. No such prohibition on American shipping.

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Trump's election.

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When Genghis khan wiped out Khwarezmid empire (modern day Iran) because they messed up with his soles.

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