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Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered How about the moment slaves in Haiti realized they outnumbered their captors almost 10 to 1, revolted, and ultimately won their independence.

Amenra7 , wikipedia Report

Final score:

738points

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Karl Baxter 2 years ago

Governments should take note

237points

María Hermida 2 years ago

The slaves had nothing to lose, but unfortunately we "cope", so we don't want to lose our little crumbs.

28points

Nat Rich 2 years ago

We should take note. The government doesn't need to worry as it'll never happen unfortunately

14points

Rost it 2 years ago

they do. that is why they use other means to distract us.

11points

Paul Richards 2 years ago

They did and Haiti remains one of the most impoverished poor country intentionally because of that revolt

7points

BlahBlahBlackSheepah 2 years ago

People in these streets should take note

5points

Richard Henderson 2 years ago

Oligarchs should take note.

4points

Deborah 2 years ago

constituents should take note

4points

Amy Stone-Chandler 2 years ago

It's the public citizens that haven't collectively got together. Too busy fighting amongst eachother.

3points

Xan Maranya 2 years ago (edited)

WE should take note. It's called Voting.

2points

James Chandler 2 years ago

Too bad native Americans didt

2points

Sheila Perri 2 years ago

Corporations should take note.

1point

Minerva McGonagall 2 years ago

Whose government?

1point

Wilko Pebesma 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Rachel Ainsworth 2 years ago

And then Haiti got stuck with a massive debt to France that impoverished the country for hundreds of years. The world is not a fair place.

21points

anarkzie 2 years ago

Yeah, I think something like 80% of their annual GDP went to paying off France. The logic behind this was that they were paying back the slavers for their lost property, i.e people.

8points

ADJ 2 years ago

In 1802 Napoleon sent Polish soldiers to fight on France's side to suppress Haitian rebels. Once the soldiers realized Haitians are fighting for independence many of the soldiers changed sides, and fought against french troops.

16points

Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago

Well that makes me feel proud of the polish at least the one that helped

8points

Red 2 years ago (edited)

Haiti is still screwed over by france to this day though. Its a travesty, France needs to stop their exploitation

8points

Paul Z. 2 years ago

Governments should fear their people. Not the other way around.

6points

Yukon Charlie 2 years ago

The only downside was that after they achieved independence, the Haitian Massacre of 1804 occurred, in which every remaining French person on the island was slaughtered, men, women, and children. This act was problematic for slaves in other countries because the massacre was used as a justification for not freeing slaves. "If we free these guys they might slaughter us like those French guys"

4points

Houseof No 2 years ago

A nation of 320 million being governed by 535 squabbling hypocrites. I will take those odds.

3points

CatWoman312 2 years ago

This should happen in modern times, but they keep us stupid and afraid on purpose

3points

Nadya Raymond 2 years ago

They defeated Napoleon

3points

Summer Mason 2 years ago

*stares at the American government and the UN*

2points

MCV 2 years ago

And look how thats working for them. Would say the **** you.

1point

Bacon Bit 2 years ago

Hey guys, that ratio was 10:1. What's the billionaire to under $100,000/ratio? I bet it's better than that.

1point

Josurf 2 years ago

... but we (the people)always outnumber them (the governments)!

1point

More! 2 years ago

Perhaps one day we will all come to the same realisation.

1point

Ralph Watkins 1 year ago

The old joke in India when they realized they out numbered the British rulers was that they could all p**s at the same time drowning the British & washing them away. Indian got it's independence too but not in that fashion. I worked with an elderly Indian doctor who loved to tell people he was born a slave of the British Empire. He was.

0points

Maxim Chervyakov 1 year ago

Still.. didn't help Haiti to avoid the fate of becoming the sh.thole of the Caribbean...

0points

Beachbum 2 years ago

Awesome!

0points

JohnE Ostrom 2 years ago

Well that turned out well for Haiti

0points

Keith Harris 2 years ago

Good old America took notice and stopped the importation of slaves from Africa and the institution became just that much more evil. Whites began to break slave families up more and sale them away from each other around the south. Breeding became more frequent and I am about sure slave owners picked up the pace on raping the human beings they held captive.

0points

Llyev Aleandre 2 years ago

Government does notice why do you think they're trying to change gun laws so vehemently. they even put in altered 2nd amendment rights for guns saying "militias" have a right to bear arms when that's never been specified ever before in the original amendment. they're trying to gas light normal citizens to think you have to be in a crisis or military etc to have guns. Admittedly we have a violence problem but outlawing guns won't stop it, violence will happen with or without guns and honestly I'd be more afraid of improvised explosives more than guns... Fix the underlying violence tendencies not the guns.

0points

Duhamel Louimar 2 years ago

This post doesn't honor the will and sacrifice of the Haitians to fight for their freedom. It literally mean the independence was given to the Haitians

0points

Amy Stone-Chandler 2 years ago

I'm a history nerd. I've never understood why this didn't happen far more then it did.

0points

A Dubb 2 years ago

Except they ended up having to "pay" their slave owners (France) for their freedom because they say they "lost their "property" (which were hatian slaves) so they had to pay over 560 million dollars which is why they are one of the poorest countries and their descendants are still suffering for it.

0points

Gerard Beaubrun 2 years ago

You honor us my friend

0points

eed_thelast_haw 2 years ago

The Social Contract is a seriously underrated "book".

0points

Put Suly 2 years ago

Ok, my employer should take this as a note.

0points

Valentin Stanescu 2 years ago

Unfortunately, they were cr*p at state-building afterwards. 🥴

0points

JMC5003 2 years ago

That's kinda like saying those who live on a minimum wage income in the US are poor because they're bad at budgeting, rather than recognize that they simply don't earn enough to not be poor. Try establishing a successful government when your people are starving because all the country's money is going to pay ransom to France so that their nation would no longer be used as a breeding ground for slaves.

2points

Amanda Colley 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

angel B 2 years ago

They may have won the battle but racism made sure they never won the war it would be such a beautiful country had the white people not f****d with it to this day

0points

Darleen Marie 2 years ago

That's the reason why USA didn't want to recognize Haiti as a nation. Because, is a slave nation. Talk about a$$***es and racists. It is what it is.

0points

tirebiter 2 years ago

Roman's didn't make their slaves wear uniforms for this exact reason.

0points

Shelby Moonheart 2 years ago

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Tamra 2 years ago

I presume you're talking about the approximately 2% of the population which practices Vodou? The vast majority of the population belongs to one Christian sect or another, not that it really matters. Christians have not necessarily proven themselves to be above violence and subjugation.

4points

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered In the 1970s the small town of Vulcan, West Virginia asked for state funding to replace a bridge into town. The state legislature refused to grant Vulcan the funding they needed. Instead the town appealed to the Soviet Union for aid. After hearing about the request, the state legislature immediately granted over $1 million for the town to build a new bridge.

If a small town in WV asking for soviet funding in the middle of the Cold War isn’t a big middle finger to the state government, then I don’t know what is.

NuggetBiscuits69 Report

Final score:

683points

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PickleRick 2 years ago

That's hilarious?😂🤣😂

210points

As with all things in life, it’s best to take everything with a grain of salt. Getting to the truth about what happened is difficult enough in modern times. Though some things become clearer as more time passes and the emotional background attached to certain events ebbs away, some details and nuances also get lost. So getting to grips with what actually happened is a ton of work. This is why we value historians so much.

That’s not to say that there are no epic moments in history, full of defiance, puffed-out chests, and pride practically oozing out of everyone’s pores. There are. But the thing about stories is that they have to capture the listener’s and reader’s imagination. When retelling a certain tale, a person (whether in 2022 or centuries ago) might embellish certain aspects while leaving some details by the wayside. And with each retelling, the story might be closer to a myth than cold hard facts.

Epic moments make for great stories. However, you can’t assume that everyone telling on “the front page of the internet” will be as objective as they would when writing a history book or debating things with their colleagues. Did these epic moments happen? Definitely. But there’s always more context to be had, and that’s part of the appeal: these posts inspire you to dig a bit deeper about Bismarck, Napoleon, and pirate Jean Lafitte.

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Galvarino: Chilean warrior who had both his hands cut off by the conquistadors for raising arms against the Spanish. Instead of letting himself serve as a message of helplessness in the face of the invaders the crazy bastard strapped swords to his stumps and went on the warpath.

-Inaros Report

Final score:

618points

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Christina Webster 2 years ago

I had a great uncle who had both arms blown off just above the elbow in a mining accident when he was a teenager. He was the sole breadwinner for his family since his father had died in a different non-mining explosion, so he was only gone a week or so before he returned to the mine with some sort of mallets or hammers strapped to his arms. He was given a new job and did so well that he was eventually hired by the local fire department to assist in knocking down doors to enter buildings and do other such tasks. It's obviously not as badass as that warrior but it reminded me of it.

547points

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Olga of Kiev. When her husband died, the country that killed him assumed they’d just take over and force her into marriage.

She straight up killed the dignitaries that were sent to tell her she had to marry - multiple times, in the most intense way possible.

She then travelled to where her husband had been killed and basically burnt the place to the ground - again, in the most hardcore, amazing way.

They made her a freaking saint. Worth the read on Wikipedia!

TeAforempires , Nikolay Bruni Report

Final score:

598points

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Nicole Weymann 2 years ago

Very badass and hardcore, but I don't hold with idolizing people for killing sprees, organized or otherwise

116points

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Ferruccio Lamborghini was a rich man owning his company that built tractors, he talked to Ferrari about the imperfections of his car and how to improve them and they basically laughed at a young tractor mechanic trying to tell them about sport cars, so he decided to start making luxury sport cars to compete with Ferrari and thus, the rivalry was born. So i'd say the middle finger of this guy to Ferrari was pretty noticeable.

Billyjeter , wikipedia Report

Final score:

476points

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Steve 2 years ago

I knew a guy named Al Burtoni (RIP). He told Lamborghini how to make their cars better. I guess they remembered their own lesson, because they flew him to their factory every year. True story, look him up, The Godfather of Lamborghinis

210points

A while ago, Bored Panda had a good chat about the reliability of information with the team running the r/AskHistorians subreddit. A representative of the community, of the moderators, explained to us that checking each and every historical claim is very time intensive.

“Even then, a lot of knowledge is locked in academic libraries and behind paywalls, so it can be impossible to access anyway. When looking at ‘mindblowing’ facts on the internet a healthy sense of skepticism is essential—as is looking at the source. Is this being claimed by Twitter user @fakefacts420 or a Professor of History at the University of Oxford? Are you reading this on a university website or an email your nan has forwarded you?" they said that we should always be aware of who is claiming something happened.

"While you might not have time to chase down historical references in the archives, there are many sites who have detailed debunkings of common historical myths and misconceptions. Checking there is always a good start," they suggested starting with Snopes or AskHistorians to double-check some facts.

A pirate known as jean lefitte had a bounty of $500 put on him by a governor. So he put a $5000 bounty on the governor

The-big-ouch Report

Final score:

465points

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YourSecretSanta 2 years ago

Pulled the Uno reverse card on him

274points

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered The Achaemenid Empire had trouble conquering Egypt in the early part of their War so they decided to use the very embodiment of their holy figure against them. They literally had soldiers carry cats with them and painted cat heads on their shields so the Egyptians couldn't fight back due to their beliefs and surrendered.

They literally pulled a "your god is our frontline".

This is known as the Battle of Pelusium.

JazzPhobic , wikipedia Report

Final score:

437points

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troufaki13 2 years ago

"Here's a kitty. Now give us Egypt!!"

239points

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered British prisoner of war in Nazi germany stitches a quilt. The Nazis put it out for show. Hidden in Morse code stitched in were the words “f**k hitler” and “god save the Queen”

ShivasKratom3 , Chris Curry Report

Final score:

419points

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Timmy Pillinger 2 years ago

King, surely?

184points

"There are probably dozens of potential conspiracies surrounding Sumerian agriculture, but that topic isn’t in the public eye in the same way that something like the Second World War or the Roman Empire is," the r/AskHistorians moderator explained to Bored Panda that conspiracy theories are nothing new and they touch pretty much every era and topic.

They added that some people want to “exploit past events to push a political point in the present day,” so they weaponize historical conspiracies. So one of the questions that you should pretty much always have in the back of your mind is ‘who benefits?’ when you hear someone aggressively pushing one narrative or another. The more important the event, the more likely it is that someone may try to twist the truth for their own ends, whatever they might be.

"Because these events and periods are seen as important for the formation of the modern world, people see it as important that history aligns to their worldview or political leanings—even when it does not—and seek to twist reality in order to achieve this,” the historian warned. They also noted that it’s important for people to learn how to trust the trustworthiness of a source and to figure out how a historical document might be biased.

#10

“I’d rather go to hell, with my noble ancestors, than to go to heaven and join the likes of you…”

Norse King tried to be converted to Christianity on threat of burning in hell for paganism

ShivasKratom3 Report

Final score:

396points

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Alias Delfs 2 years ago

Yeah. But then my freaking ancestors joined Catholicism and then proceeded to spread it wherever they pillaged

97points

#11

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered This is more petty, but when Taft bragged to his friends via telegram about scaling a mountain on horseback, that it was a few thousand feet, clear weather, all in all not too difficult, his friend replied, "HOW IS HORSE?"

JitteryBug , wikipedia Report

Final score:

390points

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LittleWombat 2 years ago

That is priceless!!! 🤣🤣🤣

142points

#12

“Stop sending people to kill me! We've already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle... If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send a very fast working one to Moscow and I certainly won't have to send another.”

Tito to Joseph Stalin

nb150207 Report

Final score:

389points

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Kate 2 years ago

The best part is that this note was found in Stalin's office after his death. Dude was apparently so amused when he received it that he kept it.

238points

#13

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered When Otto von Bismarck was about 50, he was walking down a street when a man ran up to him and shot him five times. Otto then turned around and began to beat the absolute s**t out of him until some armed guards come to help him. When they inspected Otto for wounds, they found that all 5 hit, but they all either just grazed him or bounced off his ribs. Literally the iron chancellor.

BrittleBandit , wikimedia Report

Final score:

385points

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Rachel Ainsworth 2 years ago

Guns used to be less powerful (note to USA the second amendment was written at this time).

188points

#14

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered The first cell phone. The first call ever made from a cell phone was to a competitor's landline. Big d**k energy

-Solarsoul- , Nastya Dulhiier Report

Final score:

383points

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Dani Koi 2 years ago

Thats incredible, I'm glad to know there other people as petty as me.

150points

#15

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Sparta to Phillip II

Phillip wrote to Sparta that if he marches into Sparta he will raise the land, burn the crops, rape the women, and just destroy the city. Sparta replies back with a single word.

“If”

BridlingMage117 , wikipedia Report

Final score:

335points

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Kate 2 years ago

Phillip II of Macedonia, not Spain.

224points

#16

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered So when France exiles Napoleon Bonaparte (the first time), they didn’t think to change out military personnel. So he basically rolls up to the first French outpost he gets to, says “‘sup” and begins reassembling an army. By the time he gets to Paris, he’s got enough forces that France is like “well. Welcome back.”

Mr_Henslee , wikimedia Report

Final score:

332points

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Robert Trebor 2 years ago

It didn't take long for the soldiers to figure that the Bourbons hadn't changed even though they'd been exiled or rendered into being daisy food by the revolution.

80points

#17

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered When Robert E. Lee decided to side with the South in the Civil War, to spite him the North used his property as a graveyard.

It is now Arlington National Cemetary.

Corteran , wikipedia Report

Final score:

330points

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Daniel Yamada 2 years ago

Actually, they used his property as a cemetery, not as a graveyard. A graveyard is part of a larger property - usually a church. A cemetery is an independent property that is only used for burials.

187points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#18

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Caesar in his youth, before he became famous, was captured by pirates off the coast of Italy and held hostage.

He promptly befriended the pirates, getting drunk and shared stories while they waited for the ransom to be paid.

Later, after he was released, he went back to find and capture the same pirates, and ordered their deaths because they requested an insultingly low ransom for a man of his stature.

a_saddler , wikipedia Report

Final score:

316points

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John Willemsen 2 years ago

A man of his stature, not statue.

38points

#19

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered When Henry VIII wanted to annul his marriage to Catherine of Aragon the Pope said you can't do that. Henry then created the Church of England so he could get divorced.

HungarianDude , wikipedia Report

Final score:

306points

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Dani Koi 2 years ago

"well I'm the king so I can do whatever the f I want,"

116points

#20

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Not the biggest, but definitely one to note. In 1966, Charles DeGaulle ordered all U.S. Troops out of France, as he said the country was leaving NATO, LBJ's first words were to his Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, "Ask him about the cemetaries, Dean!"

When Dean Rusk mentioned whether or not the 60,000+ US soldiers buried in France were to be removed, DeGaulle simply stood up and left the room, embarrassed.

anon , wikimedia Report

Final score:

298points

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General Anaesthesia 2 years ago

A year later De Gaulle visited Quebec in Canada for Canada's centennial. Quebec was experiencing terrorism by the separatists of the Front de Libération du Québec, FLQ. De F'ing Gaulle declared from Montreal's city hall, "Vive le Québec libre", "long live free Quebec". That was just a few years after France lost the Algerian war for independence, with its terrorism on French soil. De Gaulle was a butt wipe.

123points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#21

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered In the late 1980s Nintendo and Sony developed a CD add-on for the Super Nintendo. Nintendo then pulled out of the partnership and opted to work with Phillips instead and released the CD-i.
This move was highly frowned upon because Nintendo had decided to ditch a fellow Japanese company over a foreign one. So Sony picked up the pieces of the project and tried to partner with Sega. The board of directors turned the idea down saying "that’s a stupid idea, Sony doesn’t know how to make hardware. They don’t know how to make software either. Why would we want to do this?"
At the end Sony released a game system by the name of Playstation in 1994 to compete with the Nintendo 64 and outsold their former partners nearly 3:1 plus it marked the first time that Nintendo wasn't top dog since they released the NES.

akiba305 , Jason Leung Report

Final score:

264points

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Ronda News Channel 2 years ago

It's a Sony

33points

#22

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered The second defenestration of Prague. The Holy Roman Emperor and King of Bohemia sends representatives to the Protestant city of Prague telling them to convert to Catholicism. The representatives get thrown out a window and allegedly landed in a pile of manure

Korlac11 , wikipedia Report

Final score:

261points

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Jason Marin 2 years ago

Holy sh!t.

214points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#23

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Symphony No. 7 (Shostakovich) was played in besieged Leningrad. And it was broadcasted on the radio, so nazi soldiers could hear it.

Imagine hearing "F**K YOU" from a city that you thought was already dead.

ComBlockWither , Samuel Sianipar Report

Final score:

256points

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The lesbian knitting panda 2 years ago

unrelated but that is a great symphony

16points

#24

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered My personal favorite is when Chairman Mao made Nikita Kruschev have a meeting in a pool because he knew he couldn’t swim.

Sizeable_Cookie , wikipedia Report

Final score:

231points

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RezFidel 2 years ago

In a pool?

51points

#25

When France surrendered in ww2, Hitler thought Britain would surrender. So the next day, the British Royal Navy sailed to North Africa and sunk all of the French fleet so Germany couldn’t have them.

JediJack111 Report

Final score:

220points

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ADHORTATOR 2 years ago

Mers El Kebir - almost 1300 french sailors were killed by their british allies....

92points

#26

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Genghis Khan to Shah Ala ad-Din.

After the Kwarezmids plundered one of Genghis Khans caravans, killed his people, and took his s**t, he thought to take the diplomatic approach and send 2 envoys and an interpreter.

Shah Ala ad-Din decided to be a dumba** about it.

He shaved the heads of the envoys to shame them and sent them back with the head of the interpreter.

Mr. Khan was kinda pissed, so he marched 200000 of his boys and f*****g annihilated their town with only 1/4 of that number even able to fight back. He was so pissed at the Shah that he had the rivers keeping the surrounding villages alive fully diverted, so that he would literally wipe Ala ad-Dins birthplace off the map and make it so that it was like he never existed.

No one would settle there or live there ever again. No one would be there to remember his enemy who had disrespected him.

"Not even the dogs or cats" would be spared said Genghis Khan.

Nethervex , wikimedia Report

Final score:

201points

POST

I can't think of a good name 2 years ago

Poor animals

144points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#27

Several of them ... My favorite is when Deng Xiao Ping ordered the Chi-com army to invade Vietnam in order to teach them a lesson about the South China Sea dispute. The Chinese rolled across the border and were like “hey where is everyone? Looks like they didn’t even field an army” when they started getting hit with guerilla-types of attacks. The Chinese Commies were supposed to mop the floor - They ended up incurring way more casualties than they anticipated and basically retreated back to China after one month and declared “victory.” Couldn’t get a solid body blow on the Vietnamese army.

anon Report

Final score:

156points

POST

Jamyi Lee 2 years ago

Oh s**t. They met Charlie!!

50points

#28

My personal favorite: the beginning of the Battle of Stamford Bridge, in England, 1066. England's been invaded by a Norwegian army led by Harald Hardrada, king of Norway, and Tostig Godwinson, exiled English earl and estranged brother to the English king. They've already fought one battle, they've captured York. Things are looking good for them.

They're chilling, enjoying their success, waiting at Stamford Bridge for the hostages they demanded. It's a hot day. They're not expecting any trouble. But wait- an English army shows up. That's practically impossible. The battle of Fulford Gate had taken place only five days ago, and the Norwegians had completely routed the forces of the northern earls. The rest of the English army was known to be in the south, awaiting a Norman invasion.

Turns out the English had ridden all the way up North in FOUR DAYS.

The Norwegians were, understandably, a bit unhappy. They form into a circle. They don't have their armor with them- it's at the ships. It's too hot to be hanging around in mail. They've got helmets and shields and weaponry, and that's it.

The English send a rider to negotiate. He tells Tostig that his brother the King is willing to offer him his earldom back and part of the rule of England if he gives up now. Tostig asks what his buddy Harald Hardrada gets for his trouble.

"Six feet of English ground, or as much more as he needs, being taller than other men."

Tostig says they're done here. The rider rides away. Harald Hardrada asks who that dude was, because if it had been him talking, he'd have just killed the bastard there. Tostig says oh, that's my brother. That's Harold Godwinson, the king.

Harold Godwinson rode up to an enemy army personally and told the king of Norway, known to be a great warrior and general, that all he'd get from this invasion was a grave.

Battle commences. Norwegians lose. Tostig and Harald Hardrada both die. Huge bloody mess. English army is crippled. And then three days later the Normans land in the south. Harold is f****d. He still marches his army back, gathers as much force as he can, and engages three weeks later. He's killed at Hastings. Normans conquer England.

Basically a very personal f**k you moment that snowballed quite intensely.

Edit: because a lot of people are asking- yes, this was the battle with the legendary berserker at the bridge. No, it probably didn't actually happen. The story appears hundreds of years later and is very inconsistent. Also, there might not have been an actual bridge there at the time.

shoelesshistorian Report

Final score:

146points

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The Starsong Princess 2 years ago

Harold Hardrada was something - a great warrior, lover, poet, captain of the Varangian Guard in Constantinople, berserker, king and tyrant. He apparently died of a arrow to the throat in a state of berserkergang, nearly naked and swinging his sword two handed. Tostig, on the other hand, was a complete prick.

42points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#29

I always like to share this story when I can, and it is full of "f**k yous." Alboin, king of the Lombards during the early Middle Ages, killed a rival king on the Italian Peninsula. Alboin was a bit of a d**k and really hated this other king, so he decapitated him and had his skull turned into a drinking cup. Anytime Alboin would party hardy he'd drink out of his brand new mug. Alboin also forced the other king's daughter into marrying him after killing her father. On top of that, Alboin was a mean drunk and would make his new bride drink out of her own father's skull on occasion.

So Alboin's wife started screwing some other dude, because she hated her husband for pretty obvious reasons. Her lover and she assassinated Alboin for being such a d**k.

Edit: *Cartago delenda est* was another good f**k you

FlokiTrainer Report

Final score:

142points

POST

Mario Strada 2 years ago

I remember this from Middle School. I guess having someone drink off their father's skull made an impression on my young mind.

50points

#30

The Battle of Agincourt - Or at least the aftermath. Henry V wanted to have a show of force, and marched his 9,000 troops through France, France wasn't having it, so they raised some 12,000.. when France tried to negotiate, Henry launched an assault sparking the battle itself. Using clever use of terrain and the fearsome use of the English long bow, the French took heavy losses. It was believed, however, that any English archer captured by the French had their fore and middle fingers cut off so they could not operate a long bow. Thus inventing the 'two-finger salute', that citizens of the UK are known for, that for us Americans would be the middle finger now.

If accounts are true, this is a very *literal "*F**k you!"

Dyerdon Report

Final score:

140points

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Eastendbird 2 years ago

Yeah, sadly the two fingers salute bit is apocryphal.

41points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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What do you think ?

POST

Steve 2 years ago

That time Putin said he’d take Ukraine in 3 days, and they proceed to kick his a*s for 6 months solid (so far)

39points

Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)

I don't see anyone talking about Samuel Whittemore. He was a 78 year old farmer from Massachusetts in 1775 during the Revolutionary War. He was in his fields when he saw a troop of British soldiers marching down the road. Whittemore basically slaughtered them in the most epic way possible, dodging behind rocks and firing pistols at them, and fighting them with a sword in hand to hand combat. He was badly injured himself, but people soon discovered him and tended his wounds. He lived for another 18 years and died of natural causes at 96. The thing is, the guy didn't even know the country was at war, he just saw a bunch of soldiers on his property and went bezerk. Basically a big fat, 'You kids get off my lawn!'

18points

Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago

This one's fairly minor by comparison, but my grandfather was deployed during the Korean War and he had this story: One night he and his men were camped out somewhere near a body of water - I think it was by a river or maybe they were on an island or something; it's not important. During the night the enemy decided to try psychological warfare on for size: they set up some speakers and broadcast threatening messages over the water. "We are going to come over there tonight, and we are going to have a party! We are going to kill you all, and it will be a great party!" After this had been going on for a while, one of Grandpa's guys yelled back, "Yeah, well bring yer own bloody beer!" Grandpa said it was a perfect demonstration of the classic Australian soldier's spirit. (Postscript: the threats were just a bluff and no attack took place, which was just as well for me because at that point Grandpa hadn't gotten around to siring my father yet!).

12points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

I'm dying to know if it was in english

7points

RedBadgerCan'tSwim 2 years ago

One of my favorites has always been what the Swiss, who had a quarter million soldiers, said when Kaiser Wilhelm asked what they would do if he invaded with half a million men? Their answer "Shoot twice and go home."

8points

Aunt Riarch 2 years ago

Ooh yes!!

0points

Jknbt 2 years ago (edited)

my favorite F.U. was the one God himself gave British Royal Navy Admiral Schovall and his officers for unjustly hanging a sailor for mutiny. The sailor warned the officers that the fleet was sailing through dangerously shallow waters he was familiar with when the tides were going out. So they hanged him for his impertinence and insubordination. His last words were to quote Psalm 109, an imprecatory Psalm, that prophesies the role of Judas Iscariot and his fate. This became a curse on the wicked arrogant officers that unjustly killed him for doing his job by warning them. The British navy lost four ships and 2000 drowned including the admiral. This is the British maritime disaster known as the Scilly naval disaster of 1707. This story was reported by survivors who made it to St. Agnes island nearby and was later documented by their descendants. It served as a warning to all the arrogant naval officers who treated the seamen as dogs back in those days.

8points

Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago

This would be more interesting reading if they had put dates on them.

4points

Enlee Jones 2 years ago

Lord Byron. While in college he was told it was against the rules to have a pet dog on campus. So he went out and got a pet bear instead.

3points

Adam Zad 2 years ago

No one mentioned the Ukrainians on Snake Island? "Russian warship, go f**k yourself."

3points

Jen F 2 years ago

My favorite is Michelangelo. He won a piece of "flawless marble" and was sent a shoddy piece. He decided to make it Michelangelo's David. His masterpiece.

1point

bryan wilson 2 years ago

Really. No 18. Get an adult to check for you.

1point

bryan wilson 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

User# 6 2 years ago

One of the best f*ck you's ever was Arkell v. Pressdram. https://lettersofnote.com/2013/08/07/arkell-v-pressdram/

1point

Adonis Anderson 2 years ago

An engineer for Fuji Film invented the digital camera. The men in charge said "The world's not ready." Takes it to competitor. My kids have no idea what film is. He's gotta love those royalty checks!!

0points

Einn 2 years ago

The moments the Dutch occupied using violence and force in what is now Indonesia and took away gazillions of resources for their own benefit from the indigenous people, that is the middle finger moment

0points

POST

Steve 2 years ago

That time Putin said he’d take Ukraine in 3 days, and they proceed to kick his a*s for 6 months solid (so far)

39points

Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)

18points

Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago

12points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

I'm dying to know if it was in english

7points

RedBadgerCan'tSwim 2 years ago

8points

Aunt Riarch 2 years ago

Ooh yes!!

0points