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30 Older Adults Reveal The “Lies” About Aging That No One Talks About

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Aging is inevitable. But the good news is that most of us get used to it with time. According to a recent Forbes Health survey of 2,000 U.S. adults conducted by OnePoll, 53% of people aren't afraid of growing old. And if you categorize the respondents by age, the older they were, the bigger this share was: among those between 66 and 76 years old, the figure stood at 70%, and among those over 77, it was 79%. Therefore, you could argue that it's actually the unknown that we are so uncomfortable with. So let's try to tackle it and take a look at an online discussion where elderly folks have been sharing what they consider to be the biggest misconceptions surrounding aging.

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#1

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About I remember a story of an old man telling his grandson, "Son, you know what's one secret no one will ever tell ya? It's that nobody ever grows old. People pretend to be adults, going about their lives. But everybody's still a child deep inside, scared & alone.. pretending to have got it all sorted."

Not sure how much it suits here, but that stuck!

ThrowawaySide02 , Yaroslav Shuraev Report

Final score:

91points

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To learn more about aging and our response to it, we reached out to Dr. Josh Gressel, a clinical psychologist in the San Francisco Bay Area and the author of Embracing Envy: Finding the Spiritual Treasure in Our Most Shameful Emotion.

"The fear of getting old is rational," Dr. Gressel told Bored Panda. "Otherwise, why would it be such a universal one? There are many reasons: increasing physical infirmity, loss of friends, loss of relevance in the outer world, loneliness, and more than anything else — your impending death."

#2

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About That wisdom comes with age.

It doesn't, it comes with experience.

Aaargh_Bees , Engin Akyurt Report

Final score:

72points

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#3

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About That I would be ok with it. Nope, do not like looking older in the face and body, don’t like my vision getting worse, hair thinning and going gray, memory lapsing etc. yes I am grateful to be alive and it beats the alternative, but it is still annoying.

pearltx , Teona Swift Report

Final score:

69points

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People might become more comfortable with getting older as time goes by, Dr. Gressel thinks, because "as it gets closer and becomes more of a reality, it's no longer something abstract and intimidating but real and tangible."

"I believe that by gradually accepting each change as it comes, we can age gracefully and enjoy what this age has to offer us," the psychologist added.

"At the same time, a real dividing line for people who get older is the question of physical and mental health. Those who are able to keep their marbles and their bodies relatively intact can fare far better than those who struggle with this. Financial security is also important."

#4

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About I used to think that growing older meant having it all figured out, l Turns out, it's more like collecting a bunch of keys without any idea which doors they open! 😂.

BarooqStudios , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

67points

#5

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About That perimenopause means you have a few hot flushes, and your periods get erratic for a while and then stop.

Turns out, it screws up your whole body.

SomeWomanFromEngland , Amie Roussel Report

Final score:

63points

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#6

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About I thought I’d be able to save money and retire someday. I lost my job, and as a woman in my 50s, I simply can’t find employment. Like, I applied at Whole Foods to be a worker, but they say I’m “too qualified”. Like, I don’t want anything but a standard job. I don’t want to be in leadership anymore.

Hotsauce4ever , Kaboompics.com Report

Final score:

62points

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The media also plays a role, and it's not a very benefitial one. "First, most of its focus is on youth and physical beauty. By extension, old age and wrinkles are to be hidden, not spotlighted," Dr. Gressel said.

"Second, how many heroic images of older people are you aware of in movies? I can only think of Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars. Everyone else is depicted as pretty useless, a has been. There really is a dearth of examples of what aging has to offer, mostly because it can’t be encapsulated in a superficial sound byte."

#7

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About Can do everything right and still end up with chronic disease.

Most people do far less than this and are shocked when they aren't healthy.

Bearacolypse , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

62points

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#8

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About That I was going to turn into a condescending, nagging, miserable, no-fun-allowed person like my parents were.

Nope, it was just my parents. Thank god for that.

MammothTanks , RF._.studio Report

Final score:

59points

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#9

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About I thought I’d retire, live maybe 3-4 years at home, then go to a nursing home. I’ve been retired 12 years, have an active social life, drive anywhere I want to go, and am very accustomed to this lifestyle. 76 yo.

69vuman , SHVETS production Report

Final score:

58points

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Of course, it's difficult for us younger folks to fully empathize with some of these things. Our minds and hearts have their own priorities. But that doesn't mean they won't change.

"While there is much that is beautiful and special in being young and making your way in the world, can you imagine how nice it is when you get to a stage in your life when you no longer feel competitive with other people?" Dr. Gressel added. "Do you have any idea how much pleasure I feel by mentoring younger people, seeing in them their positive qualities, and naming it for them so they can feel seen?"

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"I need absolutely zero in response from them except the pleasure I feel knowing and seeing that they feel seen. It is wonderful to feel like a father to adult men and for them to look to me for validation. It is wonderful in many ways to have less testosterone, to just be out of that lusty race with life. It allows for greater presence and calmness," the psychologist explained.

Maybe if we realized that life doesn’t end when we enter retirement, we could start preparing for it earlier.

#10

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About I've been nearsighted forever. When you get older, you lose the ability to focus on close things, which is what farsighted people experience. So I had this idea that at some point, my increasing farsightedness would cancel out my nearsightedness and I would have perfect vision for a time. Nope. Turns out you can be both nearsighted and farsighted at the same time.

sirdigbykittencaesar , Mikhail Nilov Report

Final score:

53points

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#11

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About My child brain thought old people didn’t do things I often saw in play (cartwheels, handstands, or even just stuff like sitting cross-legged) because they were old and therefore too dignified.

Nope. Eventually that stuff really hurts. I’d kill to be able to do a cartwheel on the beach. Those were the days.

Practical_Art_3999 , Pavel Danilyuk Report

Final score:

50points

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#12

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About Dementia aside, that you become unnecessarily stuck in your ways or are unwilling to learn anything new.

I find the exact opposite - my thinking has never been clearer, and I eagerly consume vast amounts of new information.

ZephyrShow , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

44points

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#13

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About That as long as I exercised consistently I could age pain free. Sadly that was false.

lilanniem73 , Kampus Production Report

Final score:

44points

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#14

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About That you’re as old as you want to be. We think we’re “old” at 40 but you’ll look back on pics of that time and think how young you were. I gather when I’m 90 I’ll look back at pics of when I was in my 60s and think the same thing.

And then there’s being old
In your head. My dad was “the old man” all his life. He was never young.

The only thing that really sucks is being surprised when you look in the mirror (who is that old bag?) & how much s**t (knees, shoulders) hurts. Good things include no fear expressing myself & finally somewhat lessened attention from the opposite sex.

katiemurp , Ivan Samkov Report

Final score:

42points

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#15

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About That when you are older you will be ready and able to handle the losses and trials that life throws at you.

I'm 38 and have just lost my Dad. I feel completely unable to emotionally handle this loss.

Peg_leg_J , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

35points

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#16

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About It being linear. My grandparents were fit, like actually fit, their whole life. Going on bike tours for hours, no end in sight, before the bs E-Bike hype. Eating right, doing puzzles and quizzes, sports, gardening and stuff around the house, renovations whenever one of us needed help. They seemed happy and enjoying life.
Then, one super bad bike crash, landed them in the hospital for a month, recovery was good for their age, due to their very good condition. But the scars scared my grandma to get back on a bike, my grandpa staying home in solidarity. It's been 3 years, and they are shells of their former selfs. Both mentally and physically, especially in the last year, it's horrible to witness. I love them both, and try to spend as much time with them as possible, but it's just depressing to see.

ChynChylla , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

34points

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#17

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About I’d wake up one day and want to eat healthy. Nope, I still want junk food.

interstatebus , Robin Stickel Report

Final score:

32points

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#18

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About That I wouldn’t get cancer until I was 40, found out when I was 15. Also, arthritis. Was at the rheumatologist one day and there was a 4 year old girl with arthritis, we both got diagnosed with JRA that day. Wild af. Genetics are a b***h.

Wubzles , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

31points

#19

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About I thought I would "grow out of" house music. Still haven't. House Music All Life Long!

LincHayes , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

29points

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#20

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About That 50 is old.

I always thought 50 was old because my grandpa had several conditions that made him look much older and 'beaten up'. My grandma on the other side always has had a hunched back and it grew worse and worse.

Turns out i just had a few bad examples of people that worked tougher physical jobs all their life. My dad is 55 or so now and hes still spry.

In my gym theres a 53yo guy deadlifting 300kg+ and still going out for beers with friends on thursdays after work.

30 always sounded like a big number but i'll be there in like two weeks and im still childish AF, im still just a stupid little moron that doesnt know s**t. I dont know if ill grow up by the time i hit 50.

cocogate , Nataliya Vaitkevich Report

Final score:

29points

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#21

Being old = fat.

I hit 30, gained some weight, and everyone just joked 'Yep, that's what getting old is'. I didn't think much of it, packed on 50lbs, had high blood pressure.

Then my doctor told me 'Well, we can put you on these pills, but what you need is a diet. Your only real problem is that you're fat.'

I lost 90lbs, and have been in model health since. Blood pressure, along with a host of other problems, magically went away as soon as I got back to my highschool weight.

Even better, I started doing stuff again! I could enjoy rock climbing, skateboarding, dirtbikes, hikes, etc .

User1539 Report

Final score:

29points

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#22

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About If you have a fat face, you do not get wrinkles. Plastic surgeons hate this one simple trick!

ven_geci , Ron Lach Report

Final score:

26points

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#23

That I could always continue to do "what I've always done."

Well, I looked at the calendar and I'm 78 -- I was just 60.

And I can't (shouldn't) lift heavy boxes any more. Tried to and my left shoulder said "boy am I gonna hurt for two weeks"----- and it did hurt for two+ weeks. So, I don't lift heavy boxes any more. Tired -- so go to bed earlier than I used to. Get up later, too -- no job to go to.

Need to go out and walk -- exercise and move around -- -3 degrees below zero. I'll put that off for awhile.

Always worked on all my cars/trucks -- think I'll have somebody else do some work -- I'll buy the parts -- he'll put them in. Then, I'll have more/better heat in the truck -- I'm always cool/cold lately. Been different --- this retiring -- adjusting the physical and the financial. Doing what I can do and hiring what I'm learning I can't do. Interesting/frustrating.

steved3604 Report

Final score:

23points

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#24

That you’ll just go into a nursing home. Or have some miraculous little pillow of care. That’s not reality. Many don’t qualify for nursing home and even if you do there may be a cost. Plus the care there is getting worse due to corporations / private equity firms gobbling them up then cutting costs. So many people have to stay at home and pray to God someone will help them or that they might qualify for some in-home care.

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Final score:

20points

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#25

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About How suddenly you feel less worth as a woman.

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Final score:

19points

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#26

I thought, until recently, that menopause symptoms last for the rest of a woman’s life: I was so relieved to learn that hot flashes aren’t forever! 😅.

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Final score:

18points

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#27

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About I thought getting older as a woman would mean *fewer* men creeping on me, especially as a homely-looking woman. Instead, the amount of desperate creeps watching for *any* single woman seems to skyrocket with age.

I suspect that being single with no kids and not being obese at age 35 makes me seem like the jackpot to a lot of guys in my age range. (I live in the U.S.) Unfortunately for them I am very, very picky.

Warp-10-Lizard , Kaboompics.com Report

Final score:

18points

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#28

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About I was under the impression it would start later.

I’m in my mid 30s. Among my peers, I have a few friends who have experienced cancer, menopause, two who are widowed. It’s definitely not a majority by any means, but the curve has started and it’s only going to pick up from here. .

Please_send_baguette , George Milton Report

Final score:

17points

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#29

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About That my pimple free youth would carry on to adulthood. I used to be a pimple free teen and now i am an adult with skin problems and pimples.

blaukrautbleibt , Polina Tankilevitch Report

Final score:

15points

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#30

I never thought I’d say this, but as I age you have good days and bad days and I can’t quite figure out what causes either one. Mostly physical stuff - aches, pains, joints creaky. Next day I’ll feel great. I never had that before turning 59.

Final score:

14points

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#31

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About You can’t just live carefree, you have to take care of yourself, exercise and eat right or you’ll end up like all your dead friends.

Fresh_Inside_6982 , Marcus Aurelius Report

Final score:

9points

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#32

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About That it would suck. At 53, it doesn't. My best decade was my 30s for sure. I had enough of a sense of identity that I had some general confidence but could still bend my knees without them popping. My 40s and 50s have been trying to prolong that state, rather than an impossible to maintain and sad to watch perpetual 20s.

yenrab2020 , Anastasia Shuraeva Report

Final score:

9points

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#33

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About I think the worst part of aging isn’t necessarily the bodily aging part but just that every stupid idiom and saying old people used to drop on you ends up slowly happening.

MyLastUsernameSucked , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

8points

#34

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About You lose friends. Being an introvert at a young age with social anxiety, I had little friends, but as I got older I made more friends that understood better what I was going through.

restingally6 , Kampus Production Report

Final score:

8points

#35

I'm one of the oldest at work and just in general it used to be the opposite I really don't know when that changed.

Final score:

8points

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#36

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About I used to think once you've passed 35 you basically can't do athletic things anymore. I'm late 30's and still have athleticism and can do more or less anything I could in my 20's.

The recovery takes longer for sure though.

Heimlich_Maneuver , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

7points

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#37

Things get better with age. What things? In my late teens this seemed right with the possibility of leaving home, being my own person living by my own rules.

So here I am at 58 and 40 years of hard work later. My body is failing, my brain is fading and I'm tired. If someone at this stage tells me things will get better I'm gonna b***h slap them.

kwtransporter66 Report

Final score:

7points

#38

That it becomes worse once you spot your first silver hair and realize how much has accumulated in your hair to where it's a full-on infestation of silver versus black. And that I'm using reading glasses holy s**t and starting taking naps like my cat! It's not good to fight it rather take it gracefully than foolishly.

Hollister1377 Report

Final score:

7points

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#39

I thought I would feel less physically well as I turn 70. Because we made a significant menu change, the opposite is occurring. Nice surprise!

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Final score:

6points

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#40

I keep hearing that at 38yo I’m a washed up, old and unwanted woman. Meanwhile I get carded every time I buy alcohol, was asked twice in one month what high school I went to, and have zero wrinkles at all. Age really is just a number. Some people are blessed with good genes and others aren’t.

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Final score:

6points

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#41

30 Older Adults Reveal The "Lies" About Aging That No One Talks About That parenting adult kids would be way easier.

llc4269 , Alexander Dummer Report

Final score:

6points

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#42

I didn't think it would come so fast. I'm slightly closer to 45 than to my teens. When did that happen? .

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Final score:

5points

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#43

Once you start earning as an adult, you'll be able to enjoy life. I can, but still, I don't have time for that.

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Final score:

3points

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Indrė Lukošiūtė

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

What do you think ?

Apatheist Account2 2 weeks ago

As an older person, I have a lot going for me. My knees are going, my back is going...

13points

Papa 2 weeks ago

Your memory is going too, but I can understand why you forgot that one.

4points

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V 2 weeks ago

I was always told that I would become more conservative when I got older. Nope. The opposite has happened to me I have become less conservative. Or rather I have become more open and honest about how liberal I am, I don't know which.

10points

Papa 2 weeks ago

I can't speak for others, but as I've gotten older I've been more able, or more willing, to look at issues from more than one side.

4points

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This panda votes 2 weeks ago

I just turned 40 and I play soccer. Turns out I'm a decent player and was even invited to play for the local Hispanic League. It's all rec soccer, but I'm having a blast and can usually play nearly a full 90 min game before I get tired. Never expected to be at this level of athleticism after 40.

2points

Ionescu Popa 2 weeks ago

you take adrenochrome?

-1point

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Apatheist Account2 2 weeks ago

As an older person, I have a lot going for me. My knees are going, my back is going...

13points

Papa 2 weeks ago

Your memory is going too, but I can understand why you forgot that one.

4points

Load More Replies...

V 2 weeks ago

I was always told that I would become more conservative when I got older. Nope. The opposite has happened to me I have become less conservative. Or rather I have become more open and honest about how liberal I am, I don't know which.

10points

Papa 2 weeks ago

I can't speak for others, but as I've gotten older I've been more able, or more willing, to look at issues from more than one side.

4points

Load More Replies...

This panda votes 2 weeks ago

I just turned 40 and I play soccer. Turns out I'm a decent player and was even invited to play for the local Hispanic League. It's all rec soccer, but I'm having a blast and can usually play nearly a full 90 min game before I get tired. Never expected to be at this level of athleticism after 40.

2points

Ionescu Popa 2 weeks ago

you take adrenochrome?

-1point

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