Identity theft is a serious crime that can leave a victim feeling violated and vulnerable for years after the initial incident. There’s all the stress of dealing with the endless red tape of having your credit restored, on top of the anxiety of possibly going to court.

For one person on Reddit, when they got declined for a job because of bad credit, they pulled their report to investigate, only to discover a card debt of $6K and ATM advances made only a block away from where their mom lives. They turned to Reddit for advice.  

More info: Reddit

Anyone can be a victim of crime, but you don’t expect one to be committed against you by a member of your own family

Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Student applied for a job but got a letter from the prospective employer declining them the position and saying their credit score might have counted against them

Image credits: cookie_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

When they pulled their credit report, the student discovered someone had opened up a credit card in their name and racked up a $6000 bill with multiple missed payments

Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)

After calling the fraud department, they discovered ATM advances close to their mom’s house, so they confronted her about it, but she just said she “needed” the money

Image credits: stoppingmeallday

The student ended up filing a police report for identity theft and their mom was arrested on her way home from work

OP begins their story by telling the community that, long story short, they’d applied for a job for their last year of school, which came with a background check. They didn’t get the job, but were shocked when the employer sent them a letter letting them know that their credit score might have counted against them.

They immediately pulled their credit, only to discover someone had stolen their identity and racked up $6000 in credit card debt, along with multiple missed payments. OP called their mom, who said they should just ignore it, and tell the judge that an unknown person stole their identity, something OP thought was odd.

OP was able to speak to somebody in the credit card’s fraud department, who let them know that several cash advances had been made at an ATM close to their mother’s house, as well as at a few places in OP’s hometown. OP told their mom about the damning info, but she just got angry at them for accusing her.

That’s when OP said they were going to go to the police about the matter, prompting their mother to lose it at them, but ultimately admit to the crime. OP turned to Reddit to ask what they should do as they were feeling some guilt about possibly turning their mom in.

In an update to their original post, OP said that they ended up filing a police report for identity theft and had spoken to an investigator, who said it was highly likely that the background investigator would pull their report for the identity theft. The investigator also asked them if they’d be willing to testify against their mother, which OP agreed to.

Ultimately, OP’s mom got arrested on her way home from work and the student predicted she would be more outraged than ever before, but they didn’t plan on answering their phone and were three hours away at college anyway.

Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

According to the Security.org website, 60% of U.S. credit card holders have been victimized by fraud, and 45% have experienced fraud multiple times. In addition, 52 million Americans had fraudulent charges on their debit or credit cards in 2023, with unauthorized purchases exceeding $5 billion. 

What’s more, only 7% of fraudulent charges involved stolen or lost credit cards; the remainder accessed personal data and account information remotely, as in OP’s case. Only 4% of victims reported credit card fraud to law enforcement, while 96% reached out to their banks or card providers and eventually got the charges reversed.

Financial institutions spend billions every year on cybersecurity, but what can you do to avoid fraud? Experts recommend reviewing credit card statements for unusual charges frequently, subscribing to spending alerts, enabling multi-factor authentication, using online password managers, enrolling in a credit monitoring service, and not shopping online on public Wi-Fi.

What should you do if you’ve been a victim of credit card fraud? According to the IdentityTheft.gov website, the first steps are to call the companies where you know fraud occurred, place a fraud alert and get your credit reports, report identity theft to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), and file a report with your local police department.

Next up, close new accounts opened in your name, remove bogus charges from your accounts, correct your credit report, consider adding an extended fraud alert or credit freeze, and keep a close eye on your accounts for suspicious activity.

Despite not getting the job, OP was lucky to have found the culprit as soon as they did. Who knows how much debt their mom would have racked up otherwise?

Bored Panda reached out to psychologist Dr. Mari Kovanen to get her expert opinion on the situation.

When we asked her what she thought of the mom betraying her own child and trying to get away with it, she had this to say, “This is an extremely distressing situation for a young person trying to start their adult life. Their mother’s behavior is unlikely to come as a surprise to them as their mother has a history of anti-social and challenging behaviors. Here she chooses her own needs over her child’s, but this is likely to be an old behavior pattern.”

Kovanen went on to add that, even without knowing the full details of her background, it is likely that the mother has a trauma history that she keeps repeating in her parenting. She seems to be living in the survival mode where nothing is a limit, apart from getting one’s own needs met.

She explains, “Often parents who did not get loved and cherished in childhood end up without consciousness repeating the old patterns. To change the dynamic, she would need to do her own healing work to be able to love and respect herself and her child.”

We asked Dr. Kovanen for one piece of advice she’d offer someone trying to get over the trauma of identity theft and she responded, “The person needs to now lean on those people who truly love them. It is important to seek therapy to be able to separate themselves from their mother and keep themself safe in the future. Their mother may try to get her way in the child’s life and, without clear boundaries, cause more harm.

Kovanen concluded, “There is grief and loss in learning that one’s mother is not the loving person they would like her to be. It is a painful road but the only way to build a life that they truly deserve.”

What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Was turning their mom in the right thing to do? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

In the comments, more than a few readers admitted that their mothers had pulled similar scams and added that the original poster is the victim here and shouldn’t think otherwise

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