WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

Both jobs involve cutting dead bodies...

you cant love it if your a mindless robot

Just a guess: when you are making a search engine, as for a database, there needs to be a code word which the computer will know means 'zero' or 'nothing there'. It is usually 'null', but some companies have a person with the surname Null, so it has been changed in this case to jeffrey

AGAIN, HOW DOES THIS S-H-I-E-T FLY PAST PEOPLES HEADS.

"Bunch of clowns" is the most constructive feedback they should expect.

It's really nice of him to put all the giant red flags out in the open for everyone to see.

This is proof that a Ph.D in bullshit is worth having.

What is ironic is that what other companies do under the table (hire based on looks or other external consideration), this company admits openly, so at least you know what you are dealing with. Doesn't make it right, of course.

sounds like they are very disorganized

12 hour shifts with no breaks but only a 30 minute lunch is illegal. You’re actually entitled to two 30-minute breaks if your shift is that long, iirc.

I broke up with you first..

In other words, "I was even ruder to the other candidates so you're the only one who hasn't explicitly vowed never to work here".

Wants someone who gets a perfect score... Makes a mistake in the first sentence

good lord why would anybody be convinced by this.

Sorry we rejected you by mistake. Now we do it properly. It's an advanced version of the sibling game, 'stop hitting yourself'

Senior developer: "Candidates must have at least 2 previous lifetimes experience of..."

I remember being asked a silly question like this at an interview once. It was "If you could be a box of cereal, which brand and why?". My answer was fruit loops because I would be one if I continued the interview. She was dumbfounded when I got up and left.

i just want to point out the IQ requirement. it is pretty rare for someone to have an IQ of over 135. obviously the person who made this want everyone else to be smarter that him.

To what tune am I supposed to read this?

Definitely careful considerations! I'd have let it slide by mid-2020 but not them!

If I only eat what I kill, then I should be allowed to bring a gun, paring knife, and fire starting kit into the office. In case I forget my lunch and BRENDA won’t shut up about her stupid kids again.

That's sus there buddy

Disagree here.The title claims "if you call in sick", what is written is "if you always call in sick around the weekend" --- pretty different. They mostly give you very good pointers how to ace the job interview (read people's intentions from their statements, that's half the test) / attitude you want. What's written here is far less than what most companies actually demand.

Your knees tremble when someone foists extra tasks on you. You swoon when asked to do unpaid overtime. You have a secret fetish for boring meetings.

This standard company ad sounds offensive in context. "Real people and real opportunities here. That's not you."

This verges on psychotic.

Rest of the time, none are given.