Good one!

Whom did they ask? A representative sample of 15 guys recently convicted for rape?

Pretty smart !!! ^_^

From the look in the dogs eye he knows it too

Your dad's adorable by the way. Typical dad humor at its finest.

Sister is that you XD

OMG I just can't stop laughing

.... not unlike humans. We wear cow but not dog.

STORY. OF. MY. LIFE.

Can you do horse riding with this? ^^

I like your sister

I thought they were supposed to be tweets by women...

Brilliantly clever! You have the makings of a possible "Evil" Genius!! LOL!

And it's interesting how usually the men who complain about women being too emotional for a specific role or task are the one being over-emotional at the very moment of saying so.

Dude had no sense of humor, that was funny :')

It almost sounds like it could be true

also men: "but without a condom is better!!!!!"

Thta's actually what the Bible says...

Sounds like the perfect discussion.

Don't forget underfed.

Yeah ... yeah I missed out on that briefing too.

Haha I do that except the arguments were like 3 years ago

fizzgig?!

#truth

This is about the right time to have a feeding toddler with you that needs to clean those sticky little hands.

Dark Lunch! yes!

3) Student who failed presentation because they didn't do the reading, then has wealthy parents call school board to try to get teacher fired.

PREGANANANT?! It's a reference

Too accurate! This is my favorite so far😆

Roald Dahl reference? ('The Witches')

Had a black jumper with rainbow coloured sparkley threads that shed all over my friends' border collie. He looked stunning.

Especially when they're still warm and chewy

Adulting is hard sometimes.

You stole my mum? 😭

Seriously! I once saw an elementary teacher on the show in Atlanta (which isn't expensive) who bought a $400K house. NOT POSSIBLE. Oh, and she didn't have a high budget for renovations, which, of course, brought the value up.

What kind of boys thinks this? And uhm boys? Like schoolboys? What?

I thought they were marshmallows and it made the whole thing even funnier

HA! Love it. I'm reminded of the George Carlin bit: "If you're pre-born, you're fine; if you're pre-school, you're f****d."

The guy missing on the end of the line up is your my space account?

Lmfao I'm dying

Pretty much

YAS.

My biggest fear about getting older is that I'm 99% sure I'm no longer fit enough to survive a zombie apocalypse.

You are a good friend. And your mom is a good mom and friend.

It's all muscles. :)

Not all straight men. Just stupid homophobes.

Well deserved, honestly.

Aaand that's why I wear pads haha. Not taking my chances.

^me

Lol that's a line from Talladega Nights

Give me both!

for dark lord of doom and destroyer of worlds

I think this is discriminating for women who don't wear dresses. As if all women wear dresses! omg this is 2017! So sexist!

Well, when you decide to remove an ex from photos, Ryan Reynolds is the minimum you can choose in replacement, I guess.

Who wore it better?

Don't forget the small smoothed pebbles that used to be tissues and now fossilized.

But maybe not end up the same way as the sandwich?

So true... Washi tape is very expensive here..

I have so many questions right now.