Having a good comeback to anything is a skill that doesn’t come easy to some people. At least to me anyway. Sometimes I wish a spider would bite me, and I would magically turn into a master of quick and witty remarks. Which, let’s be honest, would probably up my quality of life only slightly.
However, some folks are naturally born this way. Luckily for us, they occasionally put their superpowers to noble use by shutting down online absurdity. Today, we have an impressive collection of some of the best savage comebacks that might inspire you to sharpen your wits and get your keyboard ready to fight some internet trolls.
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Shots Fired, Two Men Down
Hear hear, my dude! It's embarrassing as heck being an American. I can only hope people with the same sentiments like you and I aren't lumped up with the douchecanoe asshats that regretfully live here -_-
Load More Replies...Geez, I’m sorry Americans but it’s super hard to argue against any of this. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for jeans, Coke, rock n roll, burgers, pizza (yeh, it’s yours), and making a massive difference in WW2, but sheesh guys you’ve let the wheels fall right off in the past two decades
It started with Ronald Reagan And his trickle down ecocomy. There is no longer money for the US citizens and their needs, it's all for the billionaires.
Load More Replies...One of the best things about the internet and then social media: that the america is the greatest country ever bubble is bursting. They have tricked half of the country to be mad at the ones who want bare minimum of other nations to improve the standard of living for everyone instead of being upset and fixing the system that has got us here. Universal healthcare, education, livable wages, paid leave, unions, and so much more already work in many other countries that have the same corporations that tell us not to raise minimum wage bc burgers will be $100.
*is* bursting? My friend, that bubble burst quite some time ago.
Load More Replies...So many Americans (I am an American) fail to read the words that begin the 2nd Amendment. It starts "A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State..." These gun nuts believe that the 2nd Amendment gives them the right to own any firearm they choose, completely forgetting the well regulated statement beginning the amendment. Most of them operate without any regulation at all. And they scare me.
I do think that a lot of us cannot read, or cannot comprehend what we are reading. Underpaid teachers, underfunded schools, education is NOT a priority in the US, unfortunately.
Load More Replies...If someone blows snot bubbles over the 2nd, my reply is "so...you want to say there is NO difference between 1780 and now?..fine...turn in every gun you have, and you will be given what was available when the 2nd was written...a muzzleloader"
“Ninety percent of Americans, regardless of political leanings, support universal background checks. Seventy percent of NRA members believe in them. The majority of us also believe that no citizen should own assault rifles or have access to high-capacity magazines – the weapons and ammunition involved in most mass shootings.” – Thomas Gabor and Fred Guttenberg, “American Carnage”
“For over twenty years, Congress kept the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) from funding research on firearms through the Dickey Amendment, which threatened the CDC's funding. This provision prohibits the use of federal funds to advocate or promote gun control. The amendment, introduced by Congressional Republicans, followed lobbying by the National Rifle Association, which was becoming increasingly concerned about research that was showing that guns in the home increased the risk of a homicide. Sepsis, a potentially life-threatening condition caused by the body's response to an infection, kills the same number of people each year as gunfire, but receives 100 times the funding.”– Thomas Gabor and Fred Guttenberg, “American Carnage”
Find A Different Career
I stand with you in this salute!!! 🫡 May that professor be blessed in this life and the next
Load More Replies...Anyone who thinks it's a lifestyle doesn't know enough biology to be a doctor, comfortable or not.
Load More Replies...Had this come up in a lecture last year. "There will be times you will treat and save someone you just watched kill someone else in front of you, or abused their child to death, or drove drunk and killed a bunch of teens on the road. You will hate their guts with every fiber of your being. But they're still your patient and you'll give them your best just as you would those innocent teens. If you can't handle that reality, quit now and save everyone the trouble. Because that's what we do. That's our job and our passion and our life. It takes a special breed of person to do this job. You will be scarred, you will be traumatized, you will help people you despise. If you can't handle that reality, quit now."
True, and compared to that not being a hetero should seem like a minor thing in a patient even if someone actually thinks it's a bad thing.
Load More Replies...Or better yet: don't find a career. I don't care if you're treating life-threatening illnesses or serving donuts: you don't get to discriminate just because you feel like it.
You're a good man, Charlie Brown. The kind of professor/teacher anyone needs and should have.
Wish I had a dollar every time some idiot referred to it as a "lifestyle".
Hate and ignorance are lifestyles. Being LGBTQIA is as natural as left handedness, skin colours, or being long or short sighted.
Too many people believe that oaths, vows, pledges, and even obligations are things you fulfill only when you feel like it. I've been watching this trend for decades, and it's getting worse.
Deutscher Patriotismus vs. American Patriotism
Germany has every right to be patriotic. Despite the fact they murdered my great grandparents, their two youngest kids and had my grandmother doing slave labour in a concentration camp for 4 years, that Germany is long gone. The new Germany is a great example of how to run a country.
I don't understand how MAGA-Americans can call themselves patriots when they *hate* half the people in their country?!
To them ,those people aren't "real Americans". Just like Hitler said the Jews, the Romany, the gays, etc. weren't real Germans.
Load More Replies...Voting FOR higher taxes? I think you just gave a lot of Americans an aneurysm.
German tax rates are significantly higher than those in the US, precisely so that healthcare and college tuitions are 'free'. Tax rates after 60k Euros is 42-45%. France, Austria and Denmark are higher at 55%.
Load More Replies...That's the real problem here in the US people think patriotism has to look like nationalism.
My two "Republican" aunts would refuse to believe Germany's doing better than the US. I put Republican in quotation marks because I don't believe many so called Republicans embody the values Republicans were once known for. Keep in mind, Abraham Lincoln, one of our greatest presidents was a Republican. And I am convinced he's rolling in his grave in shame about what his party has come to.
To today's Republicans, Lincoln would be the height of "woke".
Load More Replies...Most Americans do NOT have flags on their vehicles. Characterizing that as the norm is like if I said that because Germany has some neo-nazis, Germans as a whole are nazis. And I do pick up trash that isn't mine.
David, third generation Texan here. My bloodline in the Colonies/USA goes back long before the revolution, from the northeast to the Appalachian areas, Texas, etc. “Truck flags’ isn't meant to be literal. It has become symbolic of bigotry, anti-intellectualism, ammo-sexualism, homophobia, institutional misogyny, white supremacy, radical Christian nationalism, crypto-fascism, neo-confederate historical revisionism, book burning, suppressing Texas and American history unfavorable to the legacy of white people in the USA, transphobia, xenophobia, and good old non-specific hatred and fear of most anything they don’t understand. Those sentiments range from widespread to predominant in Texas as well as the other Southern states that tried to secede and perpetuate slavery “forever,” as they wrote in their respective Articles of Secession…submitted by southern states as they formally nullified the American Constitution. Now we have Trump. Our nation has become a worldwide laughingstock.
Load More Replies...It's sad. Now when I see an American flag on someone's house, vehicle or business, I just assume it's a Trump person.
Not sure why someone downvoted you. What you said is accurate. I won't say house, if it is a single flag. Some folks like to display a flag long before anyone had heard of trump. But those huge flags / multiple flags flying on the back of some folks' pickup trucks is almost always a MAGA person - as evidenced by the bumper stickers and signs usually also found on such vehicles. TLDR: Single respectful flag - often just an American. "Clown show parade float" - usually MAGA.
Load More Replies...Telling that Germany won't erect statues to Nazi leaders but the U.S. throws a hissy fit when confederate monuments get removed.
If you ever suffered from “l’esprit de l’escalier” or "the wit of the staircase," that is, thinking of a comeback once you’ve reached the stairwell of your home, don’t worry; experts have several tips that can help with that.
They emphasize that in order to have a witty answer, timing is everything. This means that your remark should be as fast as the words that took you by surprise. The key to doing that is honing your listening skills so that you can essentially respond at lightning speed.
Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile
I adore Amy. When that article popped up, I became an everyday reader. Also reading some of those makes my eff-ed life feel a whole lot more normal 😂
Load More Replies...'forgetting his birthday for the past three years': way to go mum, you are the mother of the century even without all the homophobic drivel.
It's always about what the neighbors will think. If you truly believed that your child was going to Hell for the "sin" of homosexuality, you would be tearing your hair out in grief. But that's not really what you're worried about at all.
And we want those brown eyes of yours to be blue by next week at the latest!
Load More Replies...My mother made it very clear that being gay would not make her love me a bit less. I happened to turn out straight, but it was still nice to know, mom.
oh definitely a good way to get back back your mum for forgetting your birthday right he sure showed her
I had this argument with a family member about being transgender. Trans folk have a much greater risk of being victims of assault, higher rates of unemployment and discrimination, a much higher incidence of mental health issues and a higher rate of suicide than cis (partly because its hard to find healthcare for transitioning). So why would you "decide" to be trans-family member thinks its just a phase and attention seeking. Why would you put yourself through all that? You don't opt for seriously invasive surgery just because you're a bit bored and want to see what it's like being a woman for a while.
A Very Important Point
Sounds much less dangerous to live with bears than these misogynists.
Load More Replies...I don't care if all the girls are butt naked and wobbly drunk. You are still required to keep your hands to yourself.
I would suggest people check out the "what were you wearing" art exhbits. People show the clothes they were wearing when they were assaulted. Its a powerful statement against victim blaming
The fact that women in burqas and nuns are assaulted is proof enough. Sexual assault is an act of violence, not an act of lust.
Load More Replies...So by this logic no one got raped in the past when they had full length dresses? Or in muslim/modest countries? That's all we had to do was cover up? Wow thanks for the tip! Now we'll be invisible and safe!
You’re not wearing shin guards. You asked for the kick in the shins
It's Never Just About A Cake
What's done in the name of Christianity by people calling themselves Christian is truly heartbreaking
Indeed. The behaviour of some Christians is anything but Christian.
Load More Replies...Here's my honest thoughts on this: If a person wants a license to have a business to serve the public, they are making a contract with the government to serve all people unconditionally. A person can BELIEVE whatever they want. Free country. But if you want to have a BUSINESS license to serve the public, you have to agree to serve the whole entire public without discrimination. If you can't do that, no license, no business. Go let your cult support you. Start a commune something away from the rest of us. Religion CAN'T be an excuse to discriminate. You can HAVE your freedom of religion, but not at the expense of the law, not at the expense of what's right.
I hear you and agree, but every time a story like this comes up (way too often) I also think "You know, I'm not sure I want to eat food made by someone who hates me".
Load More Replies...I thought being Christian was following Christ teachings - Be Kind. Period. Correct me if I am wrong. Kindness to every living thing.
That's pretty much it. Jesus himself said the two most important commandments were to love God and love others.
Load More Replies...How awful. Can someone find these people and start a large charity? If this was me I'd... man, i don't actually even know what I'd do...
If those D-holes actually do lose the shirts off their backs and have to live out of a van and said fundies who participated in harassing the poor couple get slapped with any form criminal charges, I'd call it sweet justice altogether. SMH!
What I love is that all of their Fundy "Allies" were willing to pay hundreds of thousands to attack the Lesbian couple, but were unwilling to help the bakers pay their fine. Typical Religious fanatics "Money for hurting people who believe differently? How much do you need? Money for helping anybody, even our own people? Thoughts and prayers only, sorry"
It's not about cake, it just started with cake. We now are debating if doctors/hospitals/paramedics/police are allowed to refuse/deny/ignore someone in distress because they have a bug up their a*s about SOMETHING, an undefinable ANYTHING, and not face the consequences of being a bigot.
ER did a great episode about this issue. A black surgeon performing life saving skills and gets faced with the patient having a KKK tattoo.
Load More Replies...except it isn't, because apparently they got crowdfunded for destroying the lives of that queer couple
Load More Replies...Religion's function is to keep people under control. Nothing more, nothing less. To do this you have to have them believe they are "chosen", therefore "better". That starts the us/them dynamic which leads to getting people to hate the people you want them to hate. Once that is set up, you ask for money to "fight" against said hated groups. 3.???? 4. Profit
Luckily, people tend to think faster than others speak, giving the hearer additional time to come up with a reply, even though they might look as if they are still listening. This is especially handy when a conversation turns sour and someone needs to defend themselves.
Such a skill can definitely be improved with practice. One strategy for better listening skills is playing a game of one-word volleyball, where two people are telling a story by quickly taking turns and adding words to what the other said before them. The simple exercise forces players to be less focused on what they are going to say and instead helps them listen and respond to others spontaneously.
Sarah Has Been Reported Dead
Omfg. Pagan Federation Ireland, I seriously LOVE y'all
Imagine so far up your own butt that you think this is a perfectly acceptable text to send.
The best thing about this is, is that Sarah must have posted this picture, probably getting annoyed at how "unfair" it is
maybe go to texas and find a maga pedo priest, like ashley james crouse
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOPPPPP *claps like crazy* AWESOME RESPONSE YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH *whistles*
I'm Gonna Take The Surgeon's Side On This One
As someone with asthma, there are places I go that trigger breathing issues. When we started wearing masks, I realized how great they are for preventing asthma in places that would trigger breathing issues. I'm wearing my mask certain places, including outside when the pollen covers your car.
Proud mask wearer before it became a Culture War for just this reason, to block my triggers. Profoundly helpful, I even use the kn95 and kf94, they are just fine and are regulated by their governments, they do not want their ppl dying si they are not producing low quality masks. When the pollen is high I even sleep in one. I don't have to use as much medicine this way and it lessens my migraine attacks. I'm congested all the time, so these ppl refusing to wear a mask are full of c**p
Load More Replies...To be honest, I did have problems breathing with an FFP2 mask. But I am obese and suffer from very bad iron deficiency so getting in enough oxygen is a challenge at the best of times. Still I wore it whenever I needed to, even though I really did suffer.
I has breathing issues wearing one but I just got on with it. As long as I could take breaks to remove it outside, I did OK.
Load More Replies...Try using mask 8 hours in the steaming hot kitchen and then additional hour and half two times while commuting. And still we had much easier time than the aforementioned surgeons, who do incredible precise work with no chance for errors.
Yes , and wearing a FFP2 mask for hours straight while we cared for your relatives was fun. And yes I considered myself lucky to have had one of those.
I have to wonder how many who were on their death bed wondered if maybe they hadn't attended that COVID CARNIVAL....they wouldn't be in the ICU right now.
Load More Replies...Hey I have a crazy idea if you have respiratory issues so bad a mask puts you at risk of suffocation you shouldn't have gone outside in the middle of a pandemic that specifically causes extreme problems in people with a weakened respiratory system. Just a thought.
Why blur the names? The person who posted the original post is Bill Mitchell, a HUGE Trump supporter.
And I'm pretty sure the response was Soledad O'Brien, who I'm sure wouldn't object to having her name associated with her answer
Load More Replies...Now Sit Down, Stefan
Just leaving this here....small fact these eejits like to overlook: In December 1941 Parliament passed a second National Service Act. It widened the scope of conscription still further by making all unmarried women and all childless widows between the ages of 20 and 30 liable to call-up.
Women serve in the f*****g military and have served in combat. Don’t tell them they can’t discuss f*****g war.
Pretty sure no one over 30 can drafted. Which using this logic mean the President and Congress have no say about war.
My my cousin's husband was "drafted" during the second Gulf War in the sense that he had no choice about going when his reserve unit was called up. He was 61 at the time.
Load More Replies...How old is that original comment? The draft hasn't been in effect for ages.
That's perfectly true. Unfortunately the mindset still is in effect.
Load More Replies...This gets even wilder when you consider that the original tweet was by Stefan Molyneux, who is not an American citizen. He has dual citizenship - in Canada and Ireland. Canada hasn't had conscription since before Molyneux was born. Ireland hasn't had conscription since it was partitioned over a hundred years ago. Molyneux was never in any more danger of being forced to serve in the military than any woman on earth (and less than many, considering there are nations where women are required to serve, like Israel).
Belina Raffy, the CEO of Maffick, who often uses improv skills in business, adds that not overthinking the situation is key. “You’re taking yourself out of unfolding reality if you think too much,” she told Mental Floss. It’s important to be in the moment and to deliver an answer that is relevant in the instant. After all, a comeback that is off-topic most likely won’t be effective or amusing.
"Educate Your Self"
Because he reads and watches it on the internet, so it must be true.
Load More Replies...Why is it that those who splurt out „educate yourself“ are those most in need of education?
"Well, Eddy. Nicole has shown her work. We need to see yours. Don't be shy. You don't need fancy degrees as long as your facts are correct. We'll accept any verified data that you present. But please, we don't want your naked opinion. It looks... wrong."
In their case, I agree. They won't be missed.
Load More Replies...Yeah but he watched a few youtube videos, and an interview Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy did in 2003 soooooo.....
Who Doesn't Love Irony?
and then they do terrorist attacks yelling " in the name of nooothiiiing "
Tea just about went thru my nose! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ohhh my nothing, I needed that laugh 😂
Load More Replies...People tell me "Well, atheism is just your religion." Atheism is a religion like invisible is a color.
Well put. Atheism is a statement of what you don't believe, it says nothing about what you do believe. *IF* the topic comes up, I prefer to say that I'm a humanist, or rationalist, or secular or some combination thereof.
Load More Replies...I have never, not once, had someone tell me that they're an atheist. Christians, on the other hand...
I had, everytime someone says is my "christian duty". Sorry but no.
Load More Replies...There was a guy from New Zealand who was fed up with Mormons ringing his bell at 8 on a Saturday morning. He and a friend went to Salt Lake City, wore white shirts, dark pants, and name tags. They armed themselves with The Origin of the Species, and started knocking on doors. Most people were marginally polite, but some definitely weren't. They got several lectures, and an older man chased them down the street with a broom. A young woman with four small children was so happy to have an adult to talk to that she agreed with everything he said. It was absolutely hilarious! BTW, I'm Mormon.
A woman showed up at my door once with a little girl, maybe 10 years old, and proceeded to tell me I was going to hell if I didn't convert to whatever belief she was spouting. I politely told her to get off my porch. I felt so sorry for that child.
Load More Replies...I've had thousands of conversations about religion. Not a single one ever started with, "So let me tell you about the fact that I'm an atheist."
I have a customer who calls on the 1st of the month every month and he does at least 3 prayers in the phone call. It's so awful and awkward. Christians put people in such a position that even if you politely decline their "prayers," you're seen as the bad guy. I shouldn't have to be subjected to YOUR religion. That should be your own private business.
Not to mention knocking on your door in the middle of the dinner to ask you if you have heard the good news of atheism.
And I don't find agnostics sporting bumper stickers saying "Honk if you're so-so about Jesus."
Load More Replies...Yes, very annoying how it is seen as strange to not be a member of the sect.
That's because some people feel safer being "sheeple".
Load More Replies...Yes, The Answer Is Yes
The guy with the turban is most likely Sikh, not Muslim. He’s also sick of your c**p.
Sikhs and Muslims are some of the nicest people I've ever met, in the central Midwest.
Load More Replies...well first you're stupid. I guess you're islamophobic, but turbans are usually from india. Sickh people if i remember well (you do the google, jenny z)
The guy with the turban was a Sikh. These guys were absolute saints during Covid and fed most of the community in country towns in Australia.
Yes, Ryan Carr. You are a racist and are being Islamophobic towards a guy who is most likely not even a Muslim but a Sikh lol good job, idiot.
Wouldn't it be insane if the original (misguided, fearful) poster had a change of heart and realized how biased/ racist they were? And now, a comment posted online in 2013 (THIRTEEN!) is dictating more hate in a world already overflowing with hate?
Load More Replies...Tiny white woman throwing out experience. When walking late at night, unless they're acting bat s**t crazy, the only folk I cross the street to avoid are white men. I'm scared of the implied entitlement. Turban? I'll likely try to stay in your vision field, because you'll probably look out for me.
If I do find myself out a bit late on my own I prefer to be on the same side of the street as people I feel I can identify with more. As a white woman, I am still way way more likely to identify with fairly well dressed men - regardless of apparent religion and/or race - than intoxicated crazy looking people, regardless of their race/religion.
Load More Replies...That man wearing a turban belongs to a religion where it's his duty to defend strangers from harm. I'd feel safer with him anywhere in the world!
And in Islam we are taught to do the same but people ignore that part of our religion
Load More Replies...In addition, if you find yourself thinking about the reply too much, chances are you may end up saying nothing at all. Meanwhile, putting too much pressure on yourself can make your mind go blank, similar to a fight-or-flight situation. In a quick and witty comeback, this is the opposite effect you want to achieve, so try not to take it so seriously and just let your personality shine through.
Disabled Parking Should Only Be Valid During Business Hours 9 To 5
HTF do people think up cr@p like this, look at it and think ‘yep, I’ve nailed that, now just let me post it’. One of the clearest negatives about everyone having a voice is that everyone has a voice, which is great unless you’re a f***** moron
Yeah be disabled 9-5 you have no right being disabled outside business hours..
Load More Replies...I think the first poster is insinuating that disabled people don't work so have availability to do all the things while abled bodied people are working, which is ableist and why the response is fire.
As a wheelchair user who's a night owl this is my favorite response ever. It pays rent in my brain!
Load More Replies...In Seattle the only 2 vans belonging to yellow cab that are accessible only run 8am-7pm. 80% of the time I have to wait hours for one. No scheduling either. So if you want to go somewhere downtown either walk a mile or 2 from the bus stop, up or down a steep hill, or figure out how to use your mobility device on stairs.
Ok, I lost my leg in the war, I can no longer work an overnight shift. Brilliant.
I've seen this a few times and I still laugh every time I see it. True brilliance.
i often don't wake up until after 5pm, daniel, because i'm, you know, disabled, and have various conditions that mean i don't and in fact CAN'T follow a b******t "normal" schedule
Sounds like Florida man in my area, he pushes all the carts into disabled parking spaces as a "first amendment protest" that disabled parking spaces discriminate against non-disabled people.... Welcome to Florida.
This Belongs Here
In case you're wondering where Elon stands on his support of trans rights, his own trans child disowned him. 🤷
I think the above tweet was probably a response to his child coming out, he also banned the words "cis" and "cisgender" on twitter but does nothing about misgendering.
Load More Replies...Elon Musk OF ALL PEOPLE, should sit quietly in the corner when discussing aesthetics.
kind of funny that someone who always portrays themselves as a genius willing admits to the world that he isn't able to keep three options straight. Like where's the nightmare your first word is a pronoun what do you think "I" is an adjective?
That Backfired
There's a difference between LOOKING attractive and BEING attractive. I am positive the ex sees his upgrade as beautiful, and the op as ugly.
I, too, fell for that trap. Never again. I was married to her for a year and a half, including the 6 month waiting period. My current wife, an Irish beauty with a brain, is coming up on 23 years.
Something else that might help with quick-wittedness is expanding your knowledge, whether that’s learning new things or techniques from your comedy heroes. For this, you may want to watch some comedy specials or your favorite sitcoms. It’s not necessarily about memorizing certain lines or imitating them, but picking up certain subtleties like amusing observations or timing.
Due For Some Good Luck Eventually
And twatface definitely won't have met the ones whose experience was so bad that they shuffled off this mortal coil
Let's take Spencer to a cemetery, with a shovel, and show him how to meet some of those people
You know I find it funny that people are like "Don't worry it's just like this other illness that kills 36,000 people on average each year." Do people not realize that the flu was an epidemic too (Well covid is a pandemic but you get my point)
Yeah, and no one you met was on the moon, so... no one ever was. Right? RIGHT??
This one has come up before. To be fair what the guy says is all true. I haven't met anyone who had more than a few days of mild symptoms either (mostly because we had strict quarantines, mask mandates and most people actually wanted to get vaccinated here). Saying that is not the same as saying "No one gets really sick", it's just saying "I haven't met anyone who got really sick". Something I'm quite happy about to be honest.
Exactly. Most people I know were fine after a week or so (mine was so mild, I'd have taken it for a bog-standard cold if I hadn't taken a test), but that doesn't mean I don't believe those who weren't. No one ever said COVID was horrible for everyone, just that it can be.
Load More Replies...Women Aren't People, Apparently
Absolutely! Just wish we didn't need a guy to remind other guys
Load More Replies...Love Andy Murray. He's spoke up for female tennis players a few times. He is actually really funny, and the perception that he is moody and boring is wrong. Watch his appearances on Mock the week, A league of their own, stand up 2 cancer etc. His brother Jamie is a professional tennis player as well and together the two are very sweet and entertaining.
I love that you add "his brother Jamie is a professional tennis player as well" despite Jamie having won more grand slam titles than Andy!
Load More Replies...A real sporting hero that is of equlaity aware and can acknowledge brilliance in his sporr
Why do the Wimbledon finals always have the women's on Saturday, then the big finale of the men's on Sunday? And the men's prize is larger and the one celebrated.
Duh! Because the Little Woman should be at home on a Sunday cooking her man his roast lunch /S
Load More Replies...I wouldn't even answer this. I would merely ask "what do you mean, I am the first person?" and patiently wait for this piece of lumber to explain themselves.
The Fact That He Never Removed The Post Surprises Me
And these people are so proud of themselves, and their way of "thinking"
But how do you tell whether a driver is a Muslim or not? To which religion they belong? Men at least could easily lie, women drivers not because they have to wear a "scarf" (not being unrespectful, I still don't know the right names of the different head covers). And btw who cares as long as they are good drivers?
Should be like: THANK YOU, Muslims, for providing this essential service. (Also: 2017. Can we stop recycling this kind of garbage? Let it die. Thank you).
Even if you wish to pass certain comebacks as your own, there’s no shame in doing that. Winston Churchill, who was famous for them, has borrowed a lot of them. One of his well-known lines was in response to politician Bessie Braddock’s remark, “Sir, you are drunk.” The PM replied, “And you, Bessie, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still be ugly.”
On A Comment Thread About UPS And USPS Workers
The shutdown response is perfect - every job requires someone to do it, folks gotta make their coin how they can. No delivery ppl, no deliveries and idiots like the OP would be the first and loudest to complain
I thought COVID blew a hole in the idea that delivery people were not key...
Load More Replies...in an old episode of Kung Fu (David Carradine) he is put to work in the most horrible jobs on a farm because the husband doesn't get him and is jealous that wife does. Anyway, he's up to his knees in pig muck and the famer looks down at him and asks why he doesn't complain - he just looks up and says 'all work is honorable' . just a little scene but its stuck with me and got me through some sh!t jobs.
Or my response when I, a custodian, express an opinion.."but what do I know, I scrub toilets"
My youngest, 32, is a "manual worker". Concreter, drain layer, paver, labourer etc. There's not much in this world that doesn't need "manual" workers. He loves his job, outside, physical work etc. Pay wise - $2000+ before tax for 5 night shifts fitting paving stones/bricks. Don't knock or ridicule those workers that keep the world turning. Honest work is honest work, regardless.
I avoid ordering from Amazon, although something I ordered from another company last week, was delivered by Amazon's delivery dept.
Load More Replies...USPS saved the 2020 election. No wonder the rightwingnut fascists resent them.
Once heard the COO of a hospital (who happened to be an RN) say "if it wasn't for nurses, hospitals couldn't function." Really? Let's just s**t on every other employee position that makes a hospital function, Randy.
I can't often tell if someone is praising a profession because they're defending it (some people worship doctors and put down nurses) or because they really do devalue anyone outside a specific professional. Obviously, *everyone* makes a hospital function.
Load More Replies...Delivery drivers improve my quality of life. That is extraordinarily valuable to me.
I’m a home care worker- I go to elderly people’s homes to help with their housework- vacuuming, mopping, cleaning toilets, etc. Anyway, one of my clients, who is a former teacher, asked me to guess who the most important people in his school were. He told me “the people like you, the cleaners”. That was really heartwarming to hear.
Well done you. (Somehow I thought you were going to say someone said something horrible to you, but I'm really pleased it was a positive comment!)
Load More Replies...Well, When You Put It That Way
So..she's not "mature enough" to abort her pregnancy, but she's mature enough to endure the dangers, discomforts, and social judgements of pregnancy, make the correct decisions for her and the fetus to be healthy, go through labour or a c-section, make life altering decisions on whether to adopt or keep an infant, and potentially raise a child, whilst dealing with the stigma of being a teen single parent. Laws like that lead to hidden pregnancies and infants in trash cans, because no, some teens don't have the maturity to deal with pregnancy.
And then cut all programs, so she doesn't get any kind of assistance. But, you are PRO LIFE
Because of course, a judge is the only person that can determine if a woman is mature or not. 🙄🌊🤡
Seriously, what in the name of all that is good and holy in this world is wrong with Florida? Why are they like this? Why do so many idiots live there? Is there something in the water? Did Ponce de Leon actually find the Fountain of Stupidity instead?
Immature??? That shows the level of thought that goes into these dammed decisions.
Cut The S**t Lady. You Chose The Bathroom
These people are "violated" by all things that don't fit their narrow view of what is right an wrong
Load More Replies...NGL, I used a gender neutral last year and I felt really disgusting, uncomfortable, and ashamed of myself. Then I had a shite, apologised for the smell, and felt much better. Awesome hand soap, smelt like sherbet lemons. 10/10, would recommend.
5 years ago I'd have felt the same as you but I've grown as a person and changed perspective. Now I don't mind pooping in public toilets.
Load More Replies...I'm trying to work out what actually happened. In the gender neutral places I've been there's a communal area for washing hands, and each lavatory is in its own cubicle. The first guy entered the communal space, went into a cubical, and minded his own business.
Some gender neutral ones I've seen weren't converted or changed in any way aside from the signage. So some still have urinals next to the sink area. My best guess would be that she was in one of those kind.
Load More Replies...I feel WAY more uncomfortable in a womans bathroom as a short haired non-binary AFAB person who dresses masculinely than I do in a gender neutral bathroom. In a gender neutral bathroom I know that no one will make rude comments or worse begin loudly screaming and calling me horrible names because from behind they assumed I was a guy.
You just have to look at her sour expression to know what she's like. One of those perpetually aggrieved, easily-offended basket cases with a hair trigger who never smiles and will spend the rest of her life blaming everyone else for her misery.
You use a gender-neutral bathroom, and you expect all the men to respectfully bow out murmuring apologies? "Ya'll NPCs....."
This iconic phrase was copied from American actor and comedian W.C. Fields. Despite this, it took quick thinking to recall and adapt the quote in the moment, which is why Churchill was considered a master of timing. “It was an off-the-cuff recall of something he had synthesized, composed earlier, and that he was waiting to perform,” Tim Riley, director and chief curator at the National Churchill Museum, said.
I Proudly Served In The Gay Wars Of '07
Where are these glitter mines of which you speak? A friend wants to know...
I laughed way too hard at this one. Also equating the rainbow flag to the Confederate flag : insanity.
lived in the northern bay area for 49 of my 56 years and i can tell you stories of being made to dance "in the navy" by the "village people" over and over again until my loafers fell apart! damn those gay overlords! LOL! where do they come up with this bullsh-it! LOL!
I think this is fake news. Fox guests can't comprehend words longer than four letters long.
My parents didn't break their backs hacking rhinestones out of bedrock for fifty years so that I would have to stare at rainbows and glitter all day! This country is going to the rainbow-dyed chihuahuas!
You Dense Mother ---!
Give $600 to a poor person, and their landlord will raise their rent by $50 a month.
Yes, the uber rich are that dense. No, lemme think about that . . . nope they just don't care about the "poors"
Also completely wrong. Direct payments have been shown over and over again as the best way to help the poor. No admin costs. No charity salaries to be paid. People get the cash and use it for what they need most. In some communities, women used as little as $100 to buy a sewing machine and start a business, soon hiring other women in her neighbourhood. If you want to help people, direct payments are the best way.
Give $600 to a poor person and it will be in a rich person's account by the end of the week. Giver $600 to a rich person, and no poor person will ever see any sign that this money ever existed at all.
When the poor person uses it, it goes back into consumer and tax markets/circulation and benefits a lot of people When the rich person puts that itty-bitty (to him) money in a pocket somewhere and forgets about it (or sends it to the Cayman Islands), it doesn't benefit anyone. https://www.facebook.com/labourparty/videos/1113816358790958/
Columbus Day
I observe it by visiting a place where humans exist and shouting "MIIIIIINE", then planting a flag, killing the wildlife, murdering the locals then railing against immigrants.
Nope - you walk in to someone else's house and inform that that you now live there. :)
Raising a person to hero status who got lost, thinks he's reached India .... Didn't actually discover America, but the Bahamas...
i found a joke online about columbus day, but i forgot where i found it first, but ill put the joke here: me- wait, dont you mean Armstrong DISCOVERIED the moon? teacher- no, he didnt discover the moon. the moon has always been there, that would be silly. me- tell us again about christopher columbus
Ending up at the auto parts store over on the next street
Load More Replies...Lastly, as with any skill, practice is what makes one improve. For a quick-wit exercise, Hack Spirit recommends trying to make a mental note of something you’ve heard a person say during the day. Then set a timer for 5 minutes and try to come up with as many witty things as you can during that time. Some of them might not be that good yet, and that’s totally fine. The activity is all about training your brain, and over time, you will get better.
This Guy Wants All The Cake
moral of the story, don't have friends. Then you can have 100% of that cake and get fat! :D
Tell me you don't know how marginal tax rates work without telling me you don't know how marginal tax rates work
respectfully I disagree with that Cake is awesome. I'm gluten free so I almost never get to have it. What's your favorite desert?
Load More Replies...Your Bigotry Is Showing
This is exactly what most sane people want. People with different cultures, beliefs, sexual preferences, styles etc etc, getting along and don't fight. Respect, understanding and honor are rare, but hopefully it will be common in the future.
People from different walks of life peacefully co-existing on public transit? Sounds awful.
Being WOKE means being aware of the needs and desires of others, and respecting them. And some people think that's a bad thing.
So, what's the difference between being woke and being empathetic?
Load More Replies...It's like some people have conveniently forgotten the type of people the nazis wanted to eradicate and how many that they were able to eradicate before the rest of the world managed to stop them.
Forgotten? Some people aspire to it. A recent high ranking US public official/bankruptcy expert went on record saying the World War 2 Japanese-American internment camps were a good example of what we should do with migrants today
Load More Replies...The future that I, a liberal, want is one in which you don’t take and post a picture of strangers without their consent
If they were talking about how uncomfortable those seats look to me than I gotta agree that sounds awful the other stuff seems great though.
If only the bible had something like loving your neighbor. Too bad most of these morons never cracked the book. I guess we'll never know.
Oh, Jeremy, they cracked that book open. Then the threw a couple of darts at it, and selected those parts the only ones that allow them to be a$$holes
Load More Replies...Some people see things they hate, I see variety that makes life interesting.
yup Virgil, some people hate anyone that is different from them.
Load More Replies...What I want to know is why the person in the coat is cold, and why the person with naked limbs is not. Weird how we all differ to our tolerance for cold or heat.
Wow, the number of people who think that religion or orientation is contagious amaze me. You don't have the same beliefs as Muslims? Don't convert to Islam. You don't want to be gay? Don't f*****k people who are the same gender as you. Don't like gay marriage? Don't marry a gay person. Problems all solved through very simple personal choices. Demonizing is not necessary.
Apparently, It's Impossible For Women To Be Smart And Beautiful At The Same Time
Incels like this wouldn't even understand her response.
Load More Replies...Ugh! "What a waste" is not only one of the worst things mysoginists say, it's also one of the most confusing! A waste of WHAT exactly? What exactly are we squandering by being smart and beautiful?
For anybody who doesn't know, Amherst College is in the top 5 Liberal Arts colleges in the USA, it's considered on par with Harvard, Yale, and Princeton in regards to how rigorous and challenging their curriculum is. Also, women have a more difficult time being accepted to Amherst, because more women apply.
I hope she invents the technology to turn these incel chucklefucks into batteries.
She sounds amazing... Also makes a good point about toxic work environments.(That outfit doesn't do her justice).
If anything, you've just proved exactly why theres a toxic work environment. Why on earth would an outfit not do her justice. She can wear whatever she wants, my male programmer colleagues feel its appropriate to wear threadbare shoes and a*s cracks on show but they are never questioned on their outfits and recieve respect no matter what their appearance.
Load More Replies...LOL, the guys' tone always sounds like "I'd totally hit that if she were smarter." Then they shout upstairs to their mom in the kitchen to throw down another 2 litre of Mountain Dew because they're 45 and too lazy to hike up out of their basement bedroom to get it themselves. But, since mom doesn't like Cheetos dust scattered all over upstairs, it's a win-win.
In The Interests Of Public Safety
There's no mention of any lesbian students at the school losing control, so maybe it isn't the clothes that are the problem?
Or of girls getting distracted by boys.
Load More Replies...I saw "as a white Christian conservative male" and then stopped reading. Nothing of reason or value ever follows that group of words.
well, I know what you mean, but I continued to read just out of some crazy curiousity
Load More Replies...They're not very "upstanding young men" if they're so easily 'tempted then, are they?
they teach girls that they cant wear this stuff, but instead, they really should teach boys not to view girls as objects
Yeah, that the concept that they should learn how to control themselves is not even mentioned.
Mathew 5:29 “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell." he literally says that if you cant look at woman without it being in a sexual light, then you should gouge your eyes out. EDIT: there is another one similar that is Matthew 18:9 which is the same lesson
I'm sorry, dude, but if you can't control yourself, go back to your mom's basement
I like to remind these people that if they really want to follow the Bible, they should gouge their own eyes out, like Jesus suggested.
I support gender based dress codes too. Let's make all the boys required to wear a blindfold we can't have there precious pure souls tempted by shoulders and ankles.
Sounds like White Christian Conservative Males are all rapists by his definition, so I guess we'd better just throw all boys in jail at puberty to help them avoid accidental mortal sins. (Dude, if you can't stop yourself from impulsive rape, I'm no theologian, but I think you're doing it wrong.)
M*rdered By Kindness
Some slimebags said "send pork to feed the Palestinians in Gaza". It was pointed out that islam allows outs for eating 'unclean' food. For example, when you're starving and need to survive.
When we lived in our old area they used to throw packets of bacon as our house, empty beer cans and wrote n***r terrorist on our windows. My husband is African. They couldn't even spell the N word right. The bacon was still in the package expensive stuff too. Gave it to my neighbours for their BBQ. People are sick in their hearts and heads. Its the way it is now. Muslim people like us have had our lives ruined by the bastards who hijacked our religion.
Load More Replies...Okay fùck that dude in the first comment as in fùck him right up the @$$ with a cactus with lemon juice for lube. Quba Islamic Institute, y'all are classy as heck with a mindset that is a perfect example of how humans need to be more like 🤍
I love that response. Best response to some a$$hole to think that first response.
Donald VonShitzpants...I laughed so hard when I saw that. 🤣🤣🤣
Load More Replies...Non-radicalized Muslims are some of the kindest people I have ever met. They welcome people of all faiths to join them for prayers and holiday celebrations.
There's nothing bad about Islam as a religion, it's the a******s exaggerating it.
Load More Replies...I'm an agnostic atheist. We have both Bibles and a Koran, and a Poetic Edda. Knowledge is power.
If He Were Here He'd Consume These Morons With Fireballs From His Eyes And Bolts Of Lightning From His Arse
as a descendant of a Scot, this is just embarrassing
Load More Replies...It never cease to amaze me on how proud these eejits are about making a fool of themselves🤦♀️
OUCH, I think this Scotsman burned their fragile little MAGA-head thinking
Also, no Scots ever wore blue face paint or Catholic school uniforms!
The Best Putdowns Come From The Truth
Almost all the women I have met, and most of the men, have been feminists. Some have been happy, some have been sad, and some have been fairly neutral. Fighting for equality against egoists can be pretty hard.
Beside the self-uppercut in the jaw, the other common denominator is "don't take rights for granted" even if you have it, it isn't always properly respected and could be later revoked with proper lawyering lingo.
As a woman and a feminist, I can say I am BLISSFULLY HAPPY that I have never met Renegade_Sailor. (Which sounds like a Grindr name, but I'm guessing he's not gay, despite his handle, given that he has no sense of humor and he's obviously a moron.)
Even without the burn of that fabulous comeback, the irony that just zoomed over this person’s head is just astounding
truth, but also look at the state of things here in the US, there's not a whole lot for an actual feminist to be happy about, most days
Dammit George!
I'm wondering if the poster knows about bisexuals/pansexuals? From the outside of the relationship it can look like two straight people, but there might be two bisexuals, two pansexuals, one straight & one queer. Or it could be she is a wonderful ally.
Partner and I look straight, but I'm bisexual and non binary. I would try and look more androgynous, but my tits don't like that idea and I only have long hair at the moment cos I hate having it cut and I can't be arsed buzzcutting again.
Load More Replies...The rainbow colors mean that EVERYONE is included, we cis-het people too. It's not ironic, it's empathy/sympathy.
Well, lets be honest, whales are better than people... So, of course, are reindeer, moose, elk, wolverines, Tasmanian Devils, jaguars, bears, chickens...
I don't know why it's so funny whenever people include the name of the person they're responding to
This is an issue in the LGBQT community. I am bi/pan but because I married a straight man I am not considered part of the community, if I'd married a lesbian though....
Grandmothers Are Overrated
Older people are/were more susceptible to the disease, that's why vaccinations often started from the "top", with the oldest people first. When YOU are 108, do YOU want to be dumped on a human scrapheap?
I don't agree with the guy. But it's an interesting question from a purely unemotional, medical POV though. Medicine already has the concept of triage where you treat the ones that can gain the most benefit with limited resources. You could argue that say an 80 year old likely gains more benefit than a 108 year old (likely to live longer).
I miss mine so much. 12 years grandma-less. Does anyone want to adopt a grandchild? I love to hear stories, cooking, playing cards...
I get you! I lost mine 23 years ago and I still miss her like so damn much.
Load More Replies...Just the fact that he didn't see what she was already saying and came back with the "totally" 🤦♀️
$10 To Clean The Bathroom?!
My sister tripped and split her face open on easter. My next door neighbor had an easter party that included an egg hunt. After all the candy was found each kid took a small percentage of their candy and combined it to make a portion for my sister who didn't participate in the egg hunt for obvious reasons. THAT'S SOCIALISM. No kid was mad because we all understood that my sister deserved to also get candy even though she didn't search for the eggs.
I hope your sister is OK. She has a great neighborhood.
Load More Replies...More like "take the $7 and put it towards building a play set in the back yard that all the kids can enjoy."
xD .... republikkkan are so dumb. Remember, stalin wasnt a communist, just like putin isn't. Do you get it ? Do you ?
Taxes are pooled. Sidewalks, fire departments, etc., are provided. That's a form of socialism. Would you really rather have nothing as the option?
I get downvoted because I'm not British and I don't care about Liz Truss? That's so funny 😂
That's not capitalism. Capitalism would be paying your kid $10 and they hire their younger sibling to do it for $5 while they pocket the rest.
That's definitely not capitalism. Capitalism would be if the parent took a cut of the profits because they provided the funds for the cleaning supplies. Funds which they saved up while they were doing their own job and consuming less than they earned.
The Media Makes It To Be A Feel Good Story Over A Dystopian Nightmare
I like the photoshopped one where the tweet says that the robotics team set fire to the insurance company's HQ
I always feel conflicted on these stories, because I don't want to diminish the great work the robotics team did by pointing out it shouldn't have been necessary in the first place. And I feel like I am when I do
I see it as like Schindler's list. Its something he shouldnt have had to do, but doesn't mean him doing it is worth less.
Load More Replies...Just like the "feel good" story of the 7 year old who sells things to help poor students pay their school lunch tab.
Medical insurance, what a racket. You really need it. You pay a lot for it and then they decide what not to cover. So you still end up paying out of your own pocket...
Then there's this recent BP post about the parents of twins who need expensive medical treatment - which their fat-hog (my apologies to pigs) insurance company won't cover: https://www.boredpanda.com/insurance-denies-newborn-twins-life-saving-spinal-muscular-atrophy-medicine/
Load More Replies...The free wheelchair story made the news. The denied one did not. Yet people tell me that the press is biased toward the left.
I'd say it was a nightmare that (thanks to the high school ) became a good news story. Why does it have to be one or the other?
That’s A Stupid Reason To Ban Transgender People
mmmmhhhh, nice d**k, can I ..... yeah we're surrounded you're right, i forgot
Shared danger/shared objective is the surest way to foster trust between members of disparate groups. After the US military was desegregated prior to the Korean War, many of the strongest advocates for racial equality were veterans who had served with troops of other races.
First it was they didn't want women in the military because they didn't think they could pull their own weight.. now it's transgenders?
The same kind of people made the same argument when the military started to integrate.
As someone who saw female married personel deployed to actual war zones when their husband's weren't, GTFO it. Women are warriors too.
Hate to break it to people but there are records of women fighting as men in the US revolution and the Civil War. And plenty of people now who don't say anything or don't transition until after their service.
See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya
We have more guns in private ownership than at any time in our history. We only restrict what type of guns people can have, have strong requirements for how those guns are stored, and don't allow people who can't pass a background and psychological check to own them. We also don't fetishise guns. They're a tool for doing a thing, nothing more.
I looked it up, we had 868,000 gun owners is 2021, way more than I would've guessed. Christ knows why they have them.
Load More Replies...Speaking as an American teen PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take the guns I'm begging you.
But: "Second amendment rights" (claims all those people ignoring the fact that responsibilities come with all of the rights)
There was an active shooter in 5th grade. One guy got killed at the BAR right outside our SCHOOL. I was just like in the corner the whole science class with my friends wondering if I was going to die. Good idea; let’s make others feel our trauma instead of making the world better.
For a moment I thought they were foced to give up their hands, before I realized they meant guns.
In Sweden, you can have six guns, I think. You have to get proper gun handling education (like when you want to get a driver's licence) and you have to have a gun safe, to store your guns in. Moose hunting season is pretty big where I live; many colleagues take time off to sit in hunting towers looking for moose. Using guns on other humans? No, that's barbaric; only criminals do that!
Waddaya Say, Then?
Anyone else think these four guys are in an ad for a gay club? Or maybe it is just their haircuts.
What is it with the 'stubble'? Can't these guys afford razors or shaving soap? Are they insecure in their identity, and need the fuzz to remind everyone, including them, that they're male? Are they just lazy? Do the producers of the show demand that they look like this? Are they in a club, and this is the uniform?
Apparently having stubble is attractive now for some reason. I don’t get it either, but if it makes them happy they can go for it
Load More Replies...Room Temperature Iq Is My New Favourite Insult
The right to free health care, the right to have at least 28 days paid leave, the right to not be fired just because my employer doesn't like me is pretty sweet to be honest.
Americans also don’t have the right to paid maternity leave
Load More Replies...Room temperature but in Kelvin. ///I am not going to delete that but it's so stupid what I wrote ;D
But, that's giving them an IQ of 293-298, it would be better in Celsius: 22°C
Load More Replies...Wow! During the first year of Covid my UK Cancer Research Nurse role was paused to work on Covid trials. The UK were one of the first countries to trial the vaccine due to our rigorous attention to international law/ethics without compromise. No lawful informed consent, no trial treatment. Vaccine was fast-tracked via international law which can expedite new treatments to save vast quantities of lives when there is a time critical state of national or international crisis. Almost all UK healthcare professionals worked flat out to gather vast quantities of ethically accurate data which was able to, through sheer determination and much overtime, obtain the quantity of data to support moving through each stage quickly and smoothly. Big Pharma has no place in the NHS! Everyone who participated in trials chose to volunteer with hope for themselves, but also for the good of their countries population.
That was going to be my point! (Lower 20s, if anyone doesn't know.)
Load More Replies...I want to add real quick that Brits use Celsius. So this isn't saying an IQ of 70 but an IQ closer to 25.
you should also add that it's the UK, so room temperature is really closer to under 20 most of the time.
Load More Replies...Try not to use it against people who use kelvin.
Load More Replies...Yellow Tape Around Her Body It's A Homicide
failure of obamacare ? where ? when ? you mean the fakenews from kolonel Von Shitzpantz before killing it
I think the Affordable Care Act did a lot of good, and was a good first try, but I will never NOT be disappointed, because I KNOW President Obama wanted something even more radical and comprehensive and then backed down because corporations (like Big Pharma and health "insurance" companies making record profits) were all crying about how it would put them out of business. I wanted the ACA that President Obama really wanted to do: something based on what most other countries have. In that sense, yeah: okay, "failure" is a strong word, but for me, let's just say I was "disappointed" eh?
Load More Replies...I had appendicitis twice. The first time they kept me in for three days while they pumped me full of antibiotics to nurse it back to health. The second time they removed it. Both times I stayed in a private room with a nice view. Total cost? About $20 for the yarn and crochet hook I had my GF get for me to entertain myself.
As a Canadian, I’ll gladly wait for someone to look at my finger if it means someone else gets life/saving surgery.
Some who cry Obamacare as so awful, are the a$$inine governors of the states that won't participate, wont accept the "goverment" money that would help fund their states with Medcaid. They are refusing to accept it just because they hated the president who pushed for it
They hated it because a Black man pushed for it. And Actually it wasn’t such a hard sell. Because all of those benefits would equally go to Native people, Black people and other people of color, and white Dems and Repuglikkans are literally willing to set this country on fire to prevent that. Never underestimate racism as a motivating factor for these people. It’s bred into their bones, fed to them with their mother’s milk.
Load More Replies...I fail to understand American mentality Their ok with small children wearing bullet proof vests to school because you know a old document made in a complete diff time frame .. they complain then when people believe old parts of the bible .. you know writen in a complete diff time frame (I'm thinking particularly if JWs refusing blood here and the fact they will go to court to over ride if necessary.. and rightly so) their medical system is so backward I admit I have no idea how they manage with the debt .. honestly how? Esp if no insurance how does it work if you come off a bike for example or want to give birth .. how do you afford it ? .. you voted in a absolute joke to the rest of the world . Ok democracy and all that but now are still moaning because someone else won the next time .. you know democracy and all that.. but worst still it looks like you did not learn the last time .. I for one and I'm sure many others are watching your s*** show of a country like it's a sit com
I just don't get that people in the 21st century are willing to live their lives dictated by people who have been dead for TWO THOUSAND YEARS. Brainwashed idjuts!
Load More Replies...Have any of these people had a major medical procedure done in the US recently? If it’s not life threatening you might wait months. I had to go through 4 different (multi week wait each time) doctors to in the end get a recommendation for an endoscopy which I waited 2 months for an opening for. Get the scope, they scheduled another appointment 2 weeks later to discuss the results only to tell me they found nothing and send me back to the original doctor to start over. I have insurance that cost me about 500$ a month for my family after my company contribution and the whole process still cost me thousands. When ever was causing the extreme pain and gurt mostly cleared up on its own through this half a year process and now I just live with the occasional relapse. Yeah the American medical system is Amazing!!!
since the pandemic started it's been like that here in the US, because covid drove SO many people out of the medical profession. now practically every doctor is booking months out in advance, and a lot of places simply don't have the specialists anymore. it really sucks.
Load More Replies...... hm... wait times... oh, you mean we're waiting for procedures that will **actually happen** without us needing to be multi-millionaires or even though we don't happen to have that ONE perfect HMO that happens to cover **exactly** what we need? Yeah... we have some wait times, and not just waiting-to-die-because we can't pay the privatized price.
The wait times in Canada for the emergency are 8 hours on average. Also some random story, I remember when a man had a seizure at a restaurant close to a hospital and it took 16 minutes for them to go 3 blocks to get the poor fellow. Call me weird for counting the minutes, but you need to count how long the seizure is to give them the right medicine. EDIT: The wait times changed, it's now 22 hours.
I don't get why so many of my fellow Americans would rather get scammed by insurance companies than have free healthcare. Privatized healthcare is one of the worst things about my country. Like I have said before, I love my country, but I don't love the way it's being run. There are many things that need to change for the better.
Anti Vaxxer Pretends To Be Educated
How the f**k do vaccines *weaken* your immune system??? That's like the exact opposite of how they actually do work. Huh?????????
Because their brains are the exact opposite of how actual brains work
Load More Replies...People like this need to be taken to the nearest cemetery that's been in use for a century or two and shown the rows of graves belonging to children who died by the hundreds from diphtheria, smallpox, polio and god knows what else.
And now we are on the verge of a measles outbreak. Measles is a serious infection with complications developing in 30% of cases (otits media {middle ear infection}, pneumonia, diarrhea, etc) and requiring hospitalization in 10 to 20% of cases.
Not that I am anti-vax but natural immunity from real pathogens is generated from a variety of antigens selected by your macrophages (primarily). It gives a greater variety of protection that I think is best, but is not magic. If your body is fit enough, experiencing a real, non lethal dose of pathogens is preferable.
I Love It
The only place I expect a doctor to be a medical doctor and anyone else to say they're not a medical doctor is in a f*****g hospital.
If your doctor is called John Zoidberg, f*****g run.
Load More Replies...Most people with a PhD do not introduce themselves as Dr. outside of an academic setting.
Except when someone meets us and asks, "Should I call you miss or missus?"
Load More Replies...Well maybe Dr Smith could you know call 911 what's a medical doctor going to do perform brain surgery on the table? No, they're also going to CALL 911. Ok fine maybe they'll also give aspirin but like that's not that absurd to know I'm a high schooler and I know giving aspirin can sometimes help.
how come i'm at a dinner where people invited stupido ? what kind of friends do i have ?
My sister has a doctorate in history and my SIL is a medical doctor. In their opinions anyone going to a dinner party and introducing themselves as “Dr Smith” is a bit of a tool regardless of their area of study, so just smile at them and find someone else at the party to chat to.
Pray Away The Gay
I went to a conversion camp when I was 19! It was a load of b******t but on the upside, I slept with half a dozen men which was great fun. I'm still gay by the way, it had the opposite outcome they were wanting.
This just sparked in me a great idea. Set up a "conversion" camp, sell how wonderful it is in converting LGTBQ youth. Except when the kids get there give them the real counseling they need after living with their parents and help them grow into their full potential whatever that may be.
Load More Replies...Conversion camps are kinda the ultimate gay bar. THIS IS A JOKE PLEASE DON'T ATTACK ME I DON'T SUPPORT CONVERSION THERAPY.
"Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list." - Yakov Smirnoff
When even Family Guy is making fun of Conversion Camps- Ok fellas, here are some baseball bats to beat up this gay man. NO, don't use them like that! NO, not like that either! Look, just put the bats down and use your fists. NO, not like that either!
I'm quite convinced that is there was a vaccine for not becoming gay, antivaxxers would get the shot for themselves and their kids. Strange enough because usually also the Venn diagram of antigay people and antivaxxers people is just a circle
You have no idea just how much I want someone to do this. Obviously it's just a bit of saline, but the psychology data analysis alone would be BRILLIANT.
Load More Replies...I Love Arnold's Wholesome M*rders
I thought snowflakes are not people who disagree, but people who are offended and angry because you don't agree with them.
Nah, it's a literary smackdown on fragile masculinity and conservatism. One that was ironically appropriated by the very people who it was referring to.
Load More Replies...Reminder that he was a REPUBLICAN governor 2003-2011. We could have had a Republican party led by people like this. Instead they chose to chase the alt right crazies.
Couldn't agree more as a long time (R) voter. Sadly, both parties have been hijacked by fringe elements that do not represent the ideals of the majority of Americans. The silent majority has been silent too long. The people of reason and compassion on both sides have a duty to stand up and be heard lest we become a characature for how a few bad apples can turn a barrel rotten.
Load More Replies..."... it would have been a fantastic Mr. Freeze line..." LOL Okay, sorry - yeah, that was pretty good.
I'm not what you would call a fan of Arnold, but I love what he is saying here.
"Snowflake" definition: "I have no counter to your argument because it is based on facts and fairness. Therefore I am going to call you a meaningless name." Synonyms: woke, social justice warrior, politically correct, bleeding heart.
Snowflakes: Unique, pretty, cool, interesting, structured, .... What a compliment!
This is exactly my thought when I hear/see someone calling another person a snowflake!
Load More Replies...Mmm Spicy
Wait woah, woah, woah you're telling me that printer costs like $12,000 a month I think you got ripped off buddy.
This should be so much higher on the list 😆 I wanna high five that student
You need to double that number because of the textbooks!
Pot, Meet Kettle
I'm genuinely curious, does anyone know how much money is saved by doing this? Asking for a friend 🙃
Maybe we need education we deserve and America the Dystopian Nightmare doesn’t want to give to us.
Well... it's better than paying $30,000, or is that just in Canada? (AKA my home)
Bit Of A Stretch
I was about to say that! Leg hair grows naturally, tumors grow because your enzymes made an error when replicating your DNA/RNA
Load More Replies...Actually.. a christian would tell you there is a reason for the tumour and gawd knows about it and has a plan :P
Reminds me of the woman that treated her cancer "Alternativley" and even got to the Dalai Lama - his advice? "Go to a hospital, modern medicine is the best chance to survive"
Load More Replies...Dumbest argument I've ever seen. Dinogatorr needs to go out and buy himself a brain 😑
Honestly? My personal opinion is that it is to reduce the chances of chafing.
Load More Replies...Neither one of those topics has sh** all to do with evolution either!
Do you think he deactivated because of this? (For those that don’t know, the pfp of dinogatorr is that of a deactivated tumblr account)
Misogynistic men and racist white people think they have a better design than evolution.
Girls Have Ankles Too
I've rolled my ankle more times than I can count and the pain is bad. I've also had severe period pain and if I had to choose which was worse, period pain wins.
Hell, If I could make my period pain go away forever by straight up amputating my foot with no anesthesia I would choose to lose a foot.
Load More Replies...Want a better idea what period pain feels like? . How about I knee you in the nuts, several times a day, all day for about a week.
and something for the sore back, sore legs, bloating… PMS too. Plus that some people suffer from cramps the week before, of, AND after, so it’s really for three if they wanna get technical with those transparent ankle pictures
Load More Replies...Rolling your ankle for 3-7 days every month for 40 years does sound like hell.
I've rolled my ankle and I promise you guys it doesn't hurt more that period pain. Especially since an ace bandage and 20 minutes of icing pretty much solves the problem for hours if you don't have to do much walking.
So THAT'S why women shouldn't show their ankles. Because then it would be obvious that they are just an illusion.
As someone who has periods AND done this, they’re both pretty bad. Periods are a constant, and rollin my ankle(I did that by tripping over someone’s leg into a bunch of backpacks; there was nowhere to land) was like a sharp pain where I couldn’t walk for a few hours
My sister rolled her ankle like that. Which reminds me, I must give her a call and see if she's finally out of the cast.
Don't B Confused
Homeless charities supply phones to people, because they understand (unlike fückwit above) that it's barely possible to survive without a phone these days if you have a home, impossible if you don't.
And getting a job without a phone? think about that, Alan
Load More Replies...And, at least in the U.S., a lot of social services now require online access for things, so it's very difficult for people without online access to even get information or benefits.
Even if currently Italy is not immigrant-friendly (people who tries to get here from Africa does that in boats that are wrecks, and often drown trying, and often among them there are pregnant women and small children) those who make it and are placed in temporary spots receive phone charge cards, along with food and some pocket money.
Tomi Lahren
As a Boston University Alum, let me also tell you that BU practices grade deflation like whoa and rahas a higher GOS requirement for High Honors than other universities, so her graduating Magna Cum Laude is an even bigger accomplishment than more people think.
She can't fool me into thinking she's AOC - she has the patented GOP crazy eyes!
She looks like she sat down on something unexpectedly pointy! This woman is the personification of a walking bag of rocks.
AOC? Actually, countries with a multi-party system usually do have a socialist party as member of the decision-making organs, together with liberal, conservative and several other shades of opinions. Sometimes in the opposition. European Socialists were the ones improving the situation of workers, gaining more freedom for them e.g. creating unions to protect workers rights of paid sick leave, several weeks of holidays and many more benefits. Combining freedom-hating and socialist-loving only proves that this Lahren-person has no clue what she is talking about.
America, F**k Yeah!
Yup, 'muricans can take anything awful and make it into a "feel good story" negleting the real issue
I live in the US. We're raised to believe that we live in the greatest nation in the world. It wasn't until a few years ago when I started reading about other countries societies that I realized it's all a big lie.
Excellent job by the kids....what's left out is programs to help kids get free or at least affordable meals are cut....Or not even passed to begin with.
What a country! We fiercely protect embryos and fetuses, but once they're born and officially become children, we don't give a rat's behind if they go hungry - or get "I Need Lunch Money" stamped on their arms.
Load More Replies...Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions
"I Don’t Understand Marches"
I was talking to somone who claimed that demonstrations have become useless and obsolete. I didnt want to get into it at that time, so I just said "Yes. The only thing less effektive than marshing is not marshing ". They conceded to that.
Marches, rallies and protests bring attention to issues. Can you imagine if nobody had marched for civil rights?
Load More Replies...Classic "I've got mine" mentality. If your life is already where you want it, why rock the boat, right? (Because the boat is still a mess even if your corner of it is acceptable to you!)
'Errr, actually, Women's suffrage in the US was in August! Not March.' - Kind of thing these dumb people would spout.
i think that women would have been granted the right to vote and work anyway, even without protests.
Apparently She Was A Raging Dumb*ss Five Years Ago, Too
I have depression and panic disorder and I have both. Yes, running helps lift my mood but it's temporary and it's not always possible to run. Fluoxetine keeps my mood stable and allows me to function day to day (despite some side effects). Things are not always as simple as they seem.
I take Fluoxetine as well plus a few others to help with anxiety and depression (Non diagnosed) and Autism and ADHD (diagnosed) so yeah I would very much like for people to stop telling me I don't need medication. I do I promise guys I spent like 10 years working with a psychiatrist to find a good combo but perhaps jimothy Mc'jimbo from facebook university knows more idk.
Load More Replies...I have depression and also a chronic pain disorder, which means I can’t run. What does Katie suggest I do? Oh wait, I don’t care because she’s a narrow-minded, attention-seeking lunatic whose opinions are worthless.
The only worthwhile thing our former conservative government did in their 9 years in power was boot her out of the country when she repeatedly broke our quarantine laws and sexually harassed delivery people.
Didn't Tom Cruise suggest that Postpartum issues could be cured in a similar way?
Mmmm , just what I feel like four weeks after a vaginal tear, with engorged leaking boobs, no longer than 2 hours stretch of sleep and an infant at home who any second will wake and need yet another feed - to go for a nice run.
Load More Replies...Before my anti-depressants, I thought about killing myself every day. Before my anti-depressants, I would't get out of bed or take care of myself. Before my anti-depressants, I couldn't leave the house without having a panic attack. Before my anti-depressants, I couldn't work. If you haven't experienced any of these things, shut your pie hole.
I mean I was diagnosed with ADHD and while there are things that can help, but WOW is my quality of life better when I'm medicated --
This is a manifestation of the Dunning-Kruger effect. People who don't know, don't know they don't know.
There is a lot of science that indicates physical activity, especially running is VERY good for mental health BUT you don't get to go for that morning trot around the burbs if you are unable to get out of bed because of crippling depression or no longer even alive. Exercise = good. One fits all medical advice = dumb as $#i+.
Bingo. Sometimes headaches need to be treated with food and hydration, sometimes with paracetamol, sometimes steroid injections, sometimes with brain surgery. The same way, depression needs a whole bunch of treatment options, too.
Load More Replies...And Now, For Something Not Involving Politics
All my partners have been attractive because i'm attracted to them. If you aren't who gives a flying f attraction is more than just physical attributes its seeing someone as a whole for who they really are.
Even as a guy, this has been said. "They like you! It's rude if you don't like them back!" Well then I guess I'm rude then.
That’s Got To Hurt
I've always said I want a partner like Taylor Tomlinson. She doesn't fake orgasms, she doesn't love anyone that much.
After many repeated, attempts of gently, suggesting how to be better for her pleasure...Yes, she had to fake it..... Oh, my Gosh...Lmao
Babies Are Not A Plaything
I'm about as repulsed by babies as can be, but this just looks like someone going insane commenting on someone excitedly showing off their baby pictures.
I am a mother and I love my kids and am a total sucker for babies. BUT parenting has VERY little to do with babies. You really want people to understand the reality of parenting? Show them doing grocery shopping with 3 kids aged 2-10. Show them trying to find a babysitter so you and your husband can have a single date night once in the whole year. Show them spending the entire weekend doing laundry. Show them making school lunches at 10.30 at night because that is literally the only time you’ve had time - and don’t forget the guilt and fear of judgement because it’s not all carrot sticks and homemade sushi. Show them the 12 yo with ADHD who, despite everyone’s best efforts cannot make sense of the world and having meltdowns at school and can’t make friends. Show them adult kids still living at home because they have depression and can’t get a job. Babies, night waking and nappies are but a blink of an eye compared to a LIFETIME of parenting.
The babies in those pictures are what, 8 months old? They don't stay that way forever. People look at all things infant and rightfully think they're utterly adorable. Every single one of us started out the exact same way, but a quick look in the mirror will confirm that we don't stay that way. Babies mature and become less adorable and helpless, which is why parenting interest goes down as children grow up, and why by the time some of them are 18, their parents are ready to toss them out of the house, ready or not. Babies are a short-term sales pitch; they don't prepare people for a lifetime of commitment. BTW I'm a parent whose kids are now adults, and I love them madly.
And the parents can trace it back to their parents, and those parents can trace it back to their parents and so on...
Well, you know all the things you have to do in order to have children? I actively do not want to do any of those things. Also I have pets to keep me company. Oh, and it seems pertinent to add that I JUST PLAIN DON'T WANT CHILDREN.
And sometimes they are cuddly and smell sweet. But still don’t have one if you don’t want one.
Load More Replies...You know what's adorable Giant Pandas. You know what I don't have in my house a Giant Panda.
Honestly, You're Not Important Enough To Be Microchipped
I'm still mad that I never got the 5G Wi-Fi and magnetic superpowers from the vaccines that anti-vaxxers promised I was going to get.
Ikr?! Like I could be saving money on my mobile plan and Wi-Fi at home!
Load More Replies...Microchips in the vaccines. How f*cking big does this moron think the needles are?
My job, for several months, involved sitting in a pharmacy reconstituting, drawing up and cross checking hundreds of vaccine doses. We were just lowly nurses, but we were amazed and honoured to have been entrusted with such an important role in microchipping the whole population of my city. Seriously, though, if people could see the actual manufacturing and preparation level of the vaccine process they would realise just how stupid this claim is.
Load More Replies...yeah but i get followers on tiktok for my scientific dance moves. I cured hunger by ordering pizza online, don't you dare thinking i'm stupid, i know stuff. I know all the kardashians, do you ?
Single doses of Covid vaccine were drawn from bottles that contained multiple doses. The bottles were transparent, so the chips were transparent too, otherwise we would see them. So, your nurse had to be able to draw exactly the microchip belonging to you, have it pass through a needle with a hole smaller than an hair, inject it and couple the chip to you through a secret computer procedure. I wonder why real microchips like the ones the vet injects under your dog's skin are still big like a rice grain
Love the title!! Always floored by how people think the government gives a sh*t to spend man-hours and money to track them going to Wal-Mart
Science Is Hard
it's very hard to tell these days, bc there are plenty of people who would genuinely believe what OP said
Load More Replies...Guys I have some really bad news EVERY SINGLE PERSON who had cancer was born I think being born might cause cancer.
To be honest I didn't get that. I had to look it up and evidently there is a parody involving dihydrogen monoxide.
A clear cut case of Poe's Law. We'll never know if they were serious.
don't put your cat in the microwave ; objects in mirror are closer than they appear
Beautifully Pointing Out How Jack Doesn’t Know Why A Vaccine Is
Jack Posobiec used to be a Navy "intelligence" officer. I can't believe the Navy has gone so anti-woke they have to hire retards like him.
Cow Goes Moo
They are if you give them to a girl. They are a boys name if you give them to a boy.
Load More Replies...I don’t think I would like Milk from a boy cow in my PG-tips… (PG tips, a brand of tea)
Why is this yogurt sa--- HOLY S**T ITS FROM BOB, GARY, JERRY, TIM, AND SEBASTIAN!!!!! ITS NOT MIIIILLLLLKKKK
Presumably a Chinese farmer? Hello Mr Who! What are you going to call this cow?
Load More Replies...All Of A Sudden “Law & Order” Doesn’t Apply?
She was in a place where she should not have been, inciting violence.
I'll say her name. Ashli Babbit was a domestic terrorist that was killed while participating in a violent insurrection of the United States Government.
Ah, a reference to Fight Club. A misunderstood novel/movie, about angry men who thought they were the heroes, but were actually the bad guys...
Maybe She's Just Not Getting Any
Ugh, if only more Karens used condoms. But more importantly, you can avoid STIs by not having sex and there's no issue, it isn't practical to stop breathing to avoid airborne disease.
"...it isn't practical to stop breathing to avoid airborne disease." But they should definitely try.
Load More Replies...Wise Advice!
Ladies, dump your friends who encourage this b******t. This is how stalking is normalised.
A good thing I'm not those ladies who block for no good reasonable reason. BUT AT THE SAME TIME DON'T SPAM ME WITH CR*P!!!
Let’s All Make A Pledge
Oh my turn my turn. I Veryvenasaur pledge not to fly my private jet at all this year (I don't own a private jet)
♫ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? - Nobody thanks to BP♪
So I have two opinions on this. A: YAY these companies are gonna realize how dumb it is to use oil when we run out. B: aww the animals might die because BP (the gas company) has the same IQ as the people who have guns here in the USA that aren't associated with or in the police or military. (If I missed a group, feel free to yell at me.)
This must be one of the people who got in his car and drove a couple of hundred miles to stand on the beach and hold hands with other people who got in their cars and drove hundreds of miles to protest BP.
Quick review : oil spewed into the ocean, uncontrolled for a long, long time because they couldn't shut it off. They didn't even have an updated phone list of their emergency contacts. So they didn't have the right person to even call. Yes, they deserved the harsh scolding they got
Load More Replies...Yeah, That'll Work
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This whole list has been on BP before. Fortunately most are still amusing
Stop blanking out the names of these dolts! We have a RIGHT to know who they are so we can celebrate them for the forward thinking individuals they truly are, lol.
Earlier, the mentally deranged and challenged were put in homes and watched over carefully by competent personell. Now they have their own country with unlimited guns and d***s and unchecked global power.
it doesn't matter some of these have been posted here in various lists - most of them are universal enough to grant the topic a forever pinned status with new ones added (eg in the comments or new instalments)
I’m so tired of reading hate against the United States. Not because I disagree but because I’ve always agreed, never been patriotic, but it just breaks my heart that this country gets so so much wrong and I watch my loved ones have to suffer by its poor management. And the hating on Americans is so unhelpful. I get that there’s a loud minority that are incredibly obnoxious and inspire vitriol. But most of us are not like that and suffer under our government. Why hate on us when there’s little we can do? And to say look who we elected? We literally didn’t. The popular vote was not for Trump, but our messed up electoral system still put him in office.
This article isn't about the US, it just contains a lot of American extremists who have been given power by the messed up system that elected Trump. I upvoted you because your statement doesn't say anything offensive and doesn't deserve that downvote.
Load More Replies...PLeaSe all i want is a single post acknowledging the good, normal people in the US, or what we give to the world! I'll venmo you ten dollars if you can, just to prove that this website isn't a bunch of lazy, greedy, money-grabbing, content-reusing, xenophobic bigots who'd rather copy-paste 60 images from reddit instead of doing two whole seconds of work. PLEASE.
This whole list has been on BP before. Fortunately most are still amusing
Stop blanking out the names of these dolts! We have a RIGHT to know who they are so we can celebrate them for the forward thinking individuals they truly are, lol.
Earlier, the mentally deranged and challenged were put in homes and watched over carefully by competent personell. Now they have their own country with unlimited guns and d***s and unchecked global power.
it doesn't matter some of these have been posted here in various lists - most of them are universal enough to grant the topic a forever pinned status with new ones added (eg in the comments or new instalments)
I’m so tired of reading hate against the United States. Not because I disagree but because I’ve always agreed, never been patriotic, but it just breaks my heart that this country gets so so much wrong and I watch my loved ones have to suffer by its poor management. And the hating on Americans is so unhelpful. I get that there’s a loud minority that are incredibly obnoxious and inspire vitriol. But most of us are not like that and suffer under our government. Why hate on us when there’s little we can do? And to say look who we elected? We literally didn’t. The popular vote was not for Trump, but our messed up electoral system still put him in office.
This article isn't about the US, it just contains a lot of American extremists who have been given power by the messed up system that elected Trump. I upvoted you because your statement doesn't say anything offensive and doesn't deserve that downvote.
Load More Replies...PLeaSe all i want is a single post acknowledging the good, normal people in the US, or what we give to the world! I'll venmo you ten dollars if you can, just to prove that this website isn't a bunch of lazy, greedy, money-grabbing, content-reusing, xenophobic bigots who'd rather copy-paste 60 images from reddit instead of doing two whole seconds of work. PLEASE.
