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40 Toddlers Cracking Adults Up With The Funniest Complaints Shared By People In This Online Group
The mind of a toddler is an absolutely fascinating thing that could easily pass as the 8th Wonder. For these adorable little humans, every day is a new adventure of exploring the world, finding out about new things, and trying to understand yourself while at the same time, attempting to make sense of all of it. And every once in a while, while they're at it, our toddlers happen to accidentally come up with things that manage to crack up every single adult around them.
Recently, a Reddit user turnturnburn asked fellow members to share the best toddler complaints they've ever heard. And as always, the people of Reddit delivered. With that being said, Bored Panda invites you to sit back, relax, and read some of the funniest yet absolutely adorable stories about little kids complaining about the most random things. Don't forget to vote for your favorite ones, and share your own stories down in the comment section!
More info: Reddit
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#1
After a couple slices of pizza, 3 year old bursts into tears and says:
"My mouth wants more but my tummy doesn't!"
Me too, kid. Me too.
#2
Demanded to know how to say “Hola in Spanish” would not accept that hola was already Spanish, cried for hours
#3
Toddler & I are in the truck for a 3-hour, mostly freeway trip. Toddler asks if she can have her window down. Begs. Says pretty please. Whines that she NEEDS the window down. Answer is no... we're going 70 mph for the next few hours. Thus begins the wailing! She cries, and cries... and cries. The window's not going down, I'm tuning her out, no problem, the music is on, I'm just driving and life is good.
After probably 45 minutes of this, she slows down, gulps a few times, and in a tremulous voice asks, "Mommy, why am I crying?"
I laughed so hard I nearly ran off the road. If you don't remember, I'm not telling you, Kid.
#4
My toddler got mad that her poop came out in two pieces instead of one. She accused my husband of cutting it while she wasn't looking.
#5
5yo: "You're old!".
Me: "I'm not that old (with a slight tone of indignation). How old do you think I am?".
5yo: "The last number."
#6
My daughter had a complete existential breakdown one day when she found out that she was going to have to pee every day of her life
Doggo Froggo 3 years ago
I had that when I realised I would have to swallow every few minutes for the rest of my life.....
#7
IDK if this is too gross, but when my son was 3, he had a tummy bug and came to me crying that his "butt threw up"
#8
I was a restaurant server one night when a family came in. Normally, I'm not a fan of kids, but this one girl, like 5 or 6, broke the mold for me. There was a fire in her eyes, but she wasn't unruly. Just... in the moment.
I walk up to the table after they finish a seafood platter, and I hear the parents loudly saying something they obviously want me to hear: "No, honey, they don't let you take the lobster shells home." I could feel invisible elbows jabbing me in the ribs with their glances. Before I open my mouth to back up their story, she huffs and says-
"Well, can I at least keep the eyeballs?!"
And then proceeds to hold up a fork with the lobsters eyes impaled on to the ends of the outside prongs, like a war chieftain with the head of an enemy.
Adorable.
#9
When my daughter was three, I told her to stop trying to draw on the dog with crayons. She threw the crayon on the floor, looked me dead in the eye and yelled, "Daddy, you're ruining my life!"
#10
Overheard at a grocery store: mom let her little boy pick out some ice cream. Kid chooses some sort of chocolate banana popsicle and mom says no. Kid starts crying. Mom says "I thought you didn't like bananas." Kid immediately stops crying, says "Oh yeah", and picks something else.
#11
My kid hates it when I dance (which is understandable, as I'm very white)
He was about two, I was holding him, grooving along to something.
He looks me in the eye, and goes "Daddy no sing!"
"I'm not singing, I'm dancing!"
"Daddy don't sing!"
"I'm not!"
Him, in tears: "Don't sing with your feet!"
#12
My daughter (about 5) threw a wadded up piece of paper at us and ran away. We opened it up and she had written, “can I have a snake?”. Wife yelled “no, you may not” and my daughter then came back almost in tears to ask why not. She said, “I ate all of my dinner so why can’t I have one?” Wife asked what that had to do with snakes at which point we realized she had misspelled “snack”. Also, my son put us in a sort of reverse “timeout” once when he got angry. This consisted of him going into his room and refusing to come out... leaving us in peace and quiet. He essentially played himself.
#13
My 3yo had a meltdown because he wasn't in our 5 year old wedding photos. He said we didn't love him and that's why we didn't even invite him to our wedding.
#14
I watched a friend's kid have a total breakdown because he wanted to have eaten ice cream. The thing was, he HAD ice cream. It was his dessert, and it was in a bowl in front of him. He could eat it. But the fact that he had to go through the mechanical motions of eating, to get the later point in time where he had had ice cream, was really just too much for him to bear.
Watching tiny humans grapple with cause and effect is fascinating.
Easily Excitable Panda 3 years ago
I'm (allegedly) a grown adult, and sometimes I just want to put my face down into a bowl of ice cream and just lick. It's a LOT easier.
Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
"I don't want to eat ice cream, I want to have eaten ice cream without going through the whole process of eating ic cream, it is clear!"
von Funnyname 3 years ago
My almost-four-year-old nephew is doing this now, haha. We were all sitting down having pizza at the in-laws house and he started crying that "basically, whenever I try to eat pizza, I don't like eating pizza". We assumed that meant he decided he didn't like pizza today. Then he went to eat it and stared at it, indignant that it wasn't just force-jumping into his mouth. "I don't want to have to EAT it, I just WANT it"
Debrina Blackmoon 3 years ago
Well, you know you're supposed to buy the magical force-jumping pizza...GEEZ!
Load More Replies...
Fidgets McGee 3 years ago
I feel this exact way when I am sitting in front of tax forms. Kid, I'll trade...
#15
My legs are sparkling!
Edit: my legs had fallen asleep
#16
Now that I’ve been working at home (I have a desk set up in my bedroom) whenever I give my 3 year old grief he tells me to go back to work.
#17
When I was about 5 my parents gave me ice cream with chocolate sauce and I broke down crying. Took them a while to figure I was upset at the psycho sick bastard who'd put gravy on my ice cream. Eventually they convinced me to try some and I enjoyed it.
TheBookwormPotato 3 years ago
I mean, I would be pretty mad too if I thought someone was putting gravy on my ice cream
#18
My aunt and younger cousin were visiting us once. He was 3 years old at the time, and my neighbors had a 3 y/o as well. They were playing together in my backyard, when I hear my cousin scream "no, I'M 3! You CAN'T be 3, I'M THREE" while tackling the other child.
#19
I worked at a preschool from this October to December as an assistant teacher. We had a play room next to the classroom and one day we decided to go in there to play. In there was a shelf with a lot of dinosaurs to choose from. A child came up to me and said he wanted to play with the dinos. I said “okay”. This child just sat on the floor and looked like he was having the crisis of his life. Then began to cry and when I asked him what was wrong, he said “there’s too many dinosaurs to choose from”
#20
When my nephew was three or four, I found a cookie that he had stashed in a couch cushion. It was dry and gross and obviously had been there for a while. I immediately went and tossed it in the trash.
My nephew saw this happen and immediately burst into tears. Full-on snotting, hysterical tears. Through his sobs he managed to choke out the words, "you don't throw away cookies."
My husband and I use this saying often.
#21
My nephew had a breakdown and cried when his boot wouldnt fit on his head like a hat.
#22
My wife woke the kids up and told them it was Monday so they needed to get ready for school. "Don't like Monday... Hate Monday... YOU'RE MONDAY! (Directed at wife)"
Edit: This was from a 4 year old.
#23
A kid asked for an envelope. So I gave her one. She started screaming and crying “I want an envelope!!!” She meant cantaloupe.
#24
When my little sister was a toddler she screamed she couldn’t go to sleep because her pajamas were “too spicy”
#25
My boy cried when, after stuffing his sandwich in the VHS recorder (early 90s), there was no movie about sandwiches.
#26
Asked if she could have one piece of candy, and I said yes. She then asked, "can we compromise?" and I replied that we didn't need to compromise because she was already getting exactly what she wanted. Child proceeds to throw a tantrum until I agree that we can compromise. She eats her candy and leaves happily
#27
My 6 year old yelled "I'm too tired to go to sleep!", in a fit of delirium and rage.
#28
My little sister, laying on her back, staring straight into the lamps: "My eyes hurt!"
"Then stop staring at the lamp."
"No!"
#29
I yawned with my mouth really wide and my little sister told my mum i was trying to eat her
#30
I once asked a one year old to share her snack with me (common psych experiment, you give them the snacks first). Instead of using the prop, she walked across the lab to her mom and started to pull her moms shirt down to share her boob.
#31
My kids used to complain when I couldn't change the weather.
"No, we can't go to the park, it's pouring."
"Mom, just make it stop raining."
Little kids really do think their parents can do anything, apparently.
EA 3 years ago (edited)
Well damn Jackie I can’t control the weatherhttps://i.pinimg.com...7aa68a67546.gif
#33
One of my kids got sick and said "my butt made the wrong kind of poo"
#34
I specifically remember the moment I realized I had to breathe for the rest of my life. I was suuuuuuper bummed. That's how inherently lazy I am. I was somewhere around 3 or 4.
#35
My daughter once said 'I don't like it when you talk'.
Noted.
#36
The 3-year-old found a mitten on the ground and put it on. He asked where the other one was and I said I didn't know. He looked down and said, like it was a unique problem, "But I have TWO hands!"
#38
My 4 year old brother told me "My water is too soupy" I still haven't quite figured it out.
#39
My dad always reminded me of when I was very little, I use to complain that I didn't like the 'Pizza Bone' (crust). I would also refuse to eat 'corn with the bone' (corn on the cob).
I like both of them now! I wish I knew what I was thinking back then.
#40
My 2 year old puts her hand in front of the dog's mouth and cries when he licks her.
What do you think ?
Nerdy 3 years ago
Haha I love these kids are great most of the time! Me and my sister got in a HUGE fight over invisible brownie's.
Phoenix 3 years ago
Kids are clowns, devils, angels, the reason parents grow gray hair, all in one.
Karen Lyon 3 years ago (edited)
Oh, yeah. I am a few years away from retirement, after 32 years in education, at all kinds of grade levels, in all kinds of settings. Most of my career, though, has been in the primary grades. The last 6 years I have been teaching Transitional Kindergarten, which in California is an extra year working on kindergarten skills for little ones who turn 5 in the late fall. I absolutely love it, even with distance learning. But it takes a lot of energy and patience to be around them 6 hours a day -- or even ten minutes on Google Meet! I'm always saying that my "littles" wear me out and keep me young all at the same time.
Load More Replies...
Melanie King 3 years ago
OOF reminds me of a conversation i was having with my 3-year-old brother yesterday, i was explaining that he couldnt have a certain type of candy because he could easily choke on it, and he was crying, and then a tear ran down my cheek because thats a hard conversation to have but anyways then he looked at me, said "Why are YOU crying?!?!?!?!" And then procceded to wail even louder, which he later said was because i was crying and he had to cry louder.
Lay Bets 3 years ago
I had my hair cut really short once and as I’ve always had long hair, was feeling a little insecure. I asked my two year old if he liked my hair. He stopped what he was doing, put his tiny little hands on either side of my face, leaned forward and said, “I don’t like your hair mummy, I love your face.”
Marcia Cash 3 years ago
My little daughter refused to try broccoli unless I let her "eat like a puppy dog". So she put her plate on the floor, got down on hands and knees, and picked it up with her mouth. Wow! Now it's her favourite veggie. Smart me for not enforcing table manners on a 4 year old.
Lady Snowfall 3 years ago
When my oldest was in kindergarten, she came home from school mad that the lunch person put "dirty water" on her mashed potatoes at lunch. Took us a minute to figure out she was talking about gravy 🤣
Jessica Nametz 3 years ago
My daughter is constantly making my husband and I laugh. The other day we were attempting to leave her with grandma so we could hit some yard sales. She started having a total meltdown until my husband said, "we have to go so we can buy you a present". She immediately stopped crying and said, "Oh, yeah. Bye." 😂😂😂
Christina Morrow 3 years ago
My little brother used to say (5 or 6 years old) when he was mad: "I'm gonna go in my room and suffocate!"
Monica Pryts 3 years ago
My son's pants were riding up on his legs and he cried because he didn't want to wear short-sleeved pants.
Ann Abdelzaher 3 years ago
My favorite one has always been one of my nephews... he was about 3-4 had recently gotten a sunburn and was now starting to peel. He was in the yard playing in the yard when he let out an ear-piercing shriek and came running to the house calling for my mom. "Gandma, Gandma!" he hands her a piece of peeled skin sobbing "I'm falling apart!" he will be 35 this year.
Unaffected 3 years ago (edited)
My 3 yo ( now 22). Mum, give me my cereal now! Me - Say the magic word first. 3yo - Abracadabra!
Emilie Ruiz 3 years ago
My 2 and a half asks me everyday for the keys to the church, and cries when i tell him i don't have them... We are not religious and he went inside one time in 2019.
Picture Queen 3 years ago
When I was 4 we went camping but had to stop off at a motel for some reason. My Mother went into the bathroom (also known as the john back in the 70's) & my Dad had to go as well & couldn't wait for my Mom to get out so he told my brother & I to tell Mom he went to the john. When my Mom came out she asked where my dad was & I told her He went to John's house lol
Harlow (Dumpster Fire Version) 3 years ago
The first time I tried Dr Pepper I said it was spicy
Nerdy 3 years ago
Haha I love these kids are great most of the time! Me and my sister got in a HUGE fight over invisible brownie's.
Phoenix 3 years ago
Kids are clowns, devils, angels, the reason parents grow gray hair, all in one.
Karen Lyon 3 years ago (edited)
Oh, yeah. I am a few years away from retirement, after 32 years in education, at all kinds of grade levels, in all kinds of settings. Most of my career, though, has been in the primary grades. The last 6 years I have been teaching Transitional Kindergarten, which in California is an extra year working on kindergarten skills for little ones who turn 5 in the late fall. I absolutely love it, even with distance learning. But it takes a lot of energy and patience to be around them 6 hours a day -- or even ten minutes on Google Meet! I'm always saying that my "littles" wear me out and keep me young all at the same time.
Load More Replies... Melanie King 3 years ago
OOF reminds me of a conversation i was having with my 3-year-old brother yesterday, i was explaining that he couldnt have a certain type of candy because he could easily choke on it, and he was crying, and then a tear ran down my cheek because thats a hard conversation to have but anyways then he looked at me, said "Why are YOU crying?!?!?!?!" And then procceded to wail even louder, which he later said was because i was crying and he had to cry louder.
Lay Bets 3 years ago
I had my hair cut really short once and as I’ve always had long hair, was feeling a little insecure. I asked my two year old if he liked my hair. He stopped what he was doing, put his tiny little hands on either side of my face, leaned forward and said, “I don’t like your hair mummy, I love your face.”
Marcia Cash 3 years ago
My little daughter refused to try broccoli unless I let her "eat like a puppy dog". So she put her plate on the floor, got down on hands and knees, and picked it up with her mouth. Wow! Now it's her favourite veggie. Smart me for not enforcing table manners on a 4 year old.
Lady Snowfall 3 years ago
When my oldest was in kindergarten, she came home from school mad that the lunch person put "dirty water" on her mashed potatoes at lunch. Took us a minute to figure out she was talking about gravy 🤣
Jessica Nametz 3 years ago
My daughter is constantly making my husband and I laugh. The other day we were attempting to leave her with grandma so we could hit some yard sales. She started having a total meltdown until my husband said, "we have to go so we can buy you a present". She immediately stopped crying and said, "Oh, yeah. Bye." 😂😂😂
Christina Morrow 3 years ago
My little brother used to say (5 or 6 years old) when he was mad: "I'm gonna go in my room and suffocate!"
Monica Pryts 3 years ago
My son's pants were riding up on his legs and he cried because he didn't want to wear short-sleeved pants.
Ann Abdelzaher 3 years ago
My favorite one has always been one of my nephews... he was about 3-4 had recently gotten a sunburn and was now starting to peel. He was in the yard playing in the yard when he let out an ear-piercing shriek and came running to the house calling for my mom. "Gandma, Gandma!" he hands her a piece of peeled skin sobbing "I'm falling apart!" he will be 35 this year.
Unaffected 3 years ago (edited)
My 3 yo ( now 22). Mum, give me my cereal now! Me - Say the magic word first. 3yo - Abracadabra!
Emilie Ruiz 3 years ago
My 2 and a half asks me everyday for the keys to the church, and cries when i tell him i don't have them... We are not religious and he went inside one time in 2019.
Picture Queen 3 years ago
When I was 4 we went camping but had to stop off at a motel for some reason. My Mother went into the bathroom (also known as the john back in the 70's) & my Dad had to go as well & couldn't wait for my Mom to get out so he told my brother & I to tell Mom he went to the john. When my Mom came out she asked where my dad was & I told her He went to John's house lol
Harlow (Dumpster Fire Version) 3 years ago
The first time I tried Dr Pepper I said it was spicy
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