Aww that is sweet

BurN!

That is an old joke, but still a good one!

Oh that's a good one. Wouldn't work now but still funny.

Not wrong

The penny dropped

I can see why the hostess would say that.

I dont know you but I love you!!! XD

True! Can verify. First, I cut him off. Then cut my hair off.

In my town there was a big scandal because a school educator was found on OF. The big question was: who discovered her?

On today's episode on 'How to spot a Maga?'

Good one, I might use this in future

I like this kiddo's way of thinking!

Hahaha that's cute!

Fair enough.

Must be a chocolate labrador...

Snort-laugh!

🤣🤣🤣

As a gay man, I've had plenty of these conversations with women. They aren't exempt from saying ignorant and offensive things.

🤣🤣🤣

I wouldn't want that job, it just seems like too much work to milk an oat. 😂😂

You tell him, kid.

DiCaprio?

"Ex" is not short for "exclusively still yours".

Simple commands are the best

I read the blocked out word as "buddy" I think there's something wrong with me

Good point.

Geez. Mine was no cold cut meats, no sushi, only tylenol, limit caffeine, oh here is gestational diabetes and a thyroid disorder for life as a bonus! I adore my children so please dont come at me. The list is actually WAYyyyylonger and yet i would happily go thru it all over. Love them unconditionally, would die for them.

How many interactions do you think the poor cashier had at this point?

Good for the mom

Me too kid , we too.

They hit the "Total" button on the register.

I remember working in a garage ~1974, and the older mechanics (WWII vets) HATED us. I heard "youth is wasted on the young" at least once per week per mechanic. Another was "buy your books and send you to school, what did you do, chew the covers?" It was not a pleasant experience, we couldn't walk away from the situation. When I got my chance to get into a factory, I JUMPED.

thats true love

Isn't there a like, Colorado 31 where they're somewhere in the middle?

Sucks that she's working at 70. Welcome to America.

Sugar is addicting ;)

Works for me

I was out of town on business staying at a hotel for a month, I saw a therapy dog and asked the owner if I could possibly pet it. I explained my situation, that I had been in a hotel for about 6 weeks at that point and had not had my own two dogs with me the whole time. I was getting sad and a little depressed being away from my family and my pets. The 5 minutes she gave me got me through the next 3 weeks. Amazing what a little scratch behind the ears can do. For both of us!

i feel that when a cat rubs against my legs..😍

Take it as a compliment 😉

Waddly cold bird! I love that

I learned this as a tick to help remember names when I meet people. (repeat name out load and make an association) Has never worked for me except to make me think things like "I know that girl I think. She likes cheese a lot, right?"

I very much relate! 😁

When i don't know how to say i point to the menu. Ive done it in Paris, because i didn t want to ofend nobody Mama.

Hi Rich-ard

Oh no honey, abandon ship. Alcohol has too many calories to waste em on that ahole.

Yes.

If you're spending a fortune on coconut water you probably need one.

This sounds like a way to avoid working on your own issues tbh.

Depending on from where this person was traveling from, didn't have roaming. More often than not, in those cases you depend on wifi so texting in this context could mean from any messaging platform like Whatsapp.