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Some dads see their kids as a sort of captive audience for their shenanigans. Similarly, a lot of men really get up to some trouble before settling down. The result is an ability to annoy, befuddle and surprise their kids in the future. Remember, your parents had entire lives before you were born.
Someone asked people to share the best bit of “dad lore” they have. From hilarious running gags and insidious pranks, to just unhinged “dad humor,” get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own examples in the comments below.
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#1
One time my dad defended my honor in the form of a snowball fight/m******e, which I didn't learn about until nearly a decade later.
I was maybe 7 or 8 years old walking home from my friend's house after enjoying a snow day sledding around in her hilly backyard. Apparently the neighborhood boys around my age (I am girl) spent their day building a fort structure. I remember stopping briefly to admire it, but no kids in sight. Oh well, I turn and continue walking home. Suddenly about 5 boys popped out the back of the fort and pummelled the s**t out of me with snowballs. I guess they also spent the day stocking ammunition and awaiting the perfect passing victim.
They really f****d my s**t up. I am a stupidly petite adult and thusly, was a really tiny little girl and these dumb boys really didn't understand that they were going too far. I was down on the ground and still getting nailed snowball after snowball mostly in the head/face area. After the initial shock, I made efforts to block the shots with my snow saucer and finally got on my feet to run. They followed me until they ran out of projectiles and retreated. Relieved, I stop running and was just SO upset, I was barely even walking. Just dragging my feet, crying, trying to wipe my face with big stupid bulky gloves.
Then my dad's car pulls up next to me. He had gone to work that day, despite the snow, and had just pulled into the neighborhood.
"Hey kid, need a ride?"
So yeah, I get in the car and he sees I've been crying. At first I wouldn't tell him why I was upset, because I was embarrassed and didn't want to be a tattle tale. Once we pulled into the driveway though, he wouldn't let me out of the car until I told him what was up. After my explanation he told me to go inside and get washed up for dinner, that he'll be inside in a few minutes.
Ok, so time warp to 10 years later. I was planning a big high school graduation cookout at our house and I was inviting all the kids from the neighborhood. A couple of those boys from the snowball incident told me they didn't really feel comfortable hanging out at my parent's house, to which I'm like dafuq are you talking about? These boys then lay out this tale: On that fateful Snow D-Day, my dad drove back to the kid's fort and screamed at all of them to come out or he would call their parents. Once all the boys were lined up, Dad - still in his suit and tie - demolished their fort. Kicked the s**t all down. Then from the rubble he made big a*s man-sized snowballs and made sure each kid got a violent face full of their precious fort.
F**k yeah, Dad.
... I'm glad I had an opportunity to tell this story right at this moment. My Dad is in the hospital tonight after a super terrifying heart issue/fainting episode this morning and we're just waiting for more information... and trying not to lose my mind.
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#2
One time my dad waited till my 3 siblings and I had gone to bed on Christmas Eve, then he shouted "I don't care who you are fat man, get that sled off my roof." We were all up and telling Dad not to yell at Santa.
#3
I am a Bengali, and as all good Bengalis, we went to see tigers in north bengal. (Spoiler alert: no tigers). After one pretty disappointing day of missing two elephant herds and seeing no wild cat, much less a tiger, we stop at a dried up river bed. We are f-ing tired, the sun is setting, the peacocks are screaming, the usual. Suddenly , we hear a growl. Monkeys are going nuts. The tell tale sign of a tiger nearby. The guide tells us to rush to our jeeps. We oblige, but just before boarding, I see my dad smirking, HARD. After an hour of waiting, we see no tigers and head home. The next morning, while everyone is freaking out over the growl, dad pulls me aside and says that it was a burp. A f*****g burp. So I can proudly say that once my dad burped so hard the jungle thought it was a tiger.
#4
One time my dad scared the p**s out of a guy that wouldn't take no for an answer
I got pretty much peer pressured onto going on a double date with a guy I hated and I had told him I hated him. We both worked at the local fast food joint. I was fresh out of high school and naive and felt like I had to be nice. He asked me out in a way that put me on the spot too, on his day off in the middle of my shift he showed up dressed like he was going to a wedding brought me a bunch of flowers and asked me in the middle of a lunch rush mortifying me and everyone started chanting say yes. I agreed and ran out on my shift crying and feeling like I couldn't back out.
It was painfully obvious during and after the date I was not interested. He kept calling me, texting me, leaving me threatening and weird voicemails. He even drove by my house a few times. My parents noticing my change in mood asked me what was up and I told them and played them the voicemails
My dad asked me when we next had the same shift I told him
My dad came to the restaurant after his factory shift. My dad is a big dude and looks scary, especially covered in grease and wearing a uniform
My dad bust into the restaurant, gives me a hug, asks me "where is the son of the b***h" everyone is frozen in place, and slack jawed, anyone that knew my dad knew him as a goofy kind guy so they were just in awe of this whirlwind that had bust in the door. I pointed to the kitchen and this dopey mother f****r looks like he is going to p**s his pants
My dad points right at him and says LEAVE MY DAUGHTER THE F**K ALONE OR I WILL GO BACK TO JAIL.
Tells me he loves me and mom is cooking dinner. Waves to some of my friends he knows and walks out the door like nothing ever happens.
That guy went on break and never came back. And he never bothered me again.
#5
One time my dad's fart smelled so bad my dog threw up.
#6
One time my dad saw I was in a really low mood so he walked into my room, grabbed my trash Hatsune Miku wig and my swim goggles, put them both on and followed me around for a solid ten minutes, completely nonchalant, to make me laugh. Imagine, if you will, a large imposing black man wearing a teal pig-tailed wig and goggles so old they're turning brown, causally making himself a sandwich.
#7
One time my dad ripped a HUMONGOUS fart and killled all the power in the neighborhood. Literally, PHHHT...dark.
Spoiler: We later found out that someone had hit a pole further up the line at that EXACT moment.
It made perfect sense to us kids. Dad's an electrician, and has DEADLY farts. PHHHT...dark.
Now I use this as an example that correlation is not causation.
#8
This was a few years back but, my dad really got into my pot brownies. Only way I know this is because I woke up in the middle of the night to him putting baby socks on my dog. His only statement was, "Dog's shouldn't have cold feet."
#9
One time, my older brother and I were helping my dad cut down some trees in the backyard and the chainsaw kind of stuck and my dad yanked it out a little too hard and hit my brother's leg. We all froze and looked at his jeans...which had 4 or so perfectly spaced holes...but no blood. He had managed to hit my brother's pants, but didn't get in far enough to hit flesh.
The next words out of his mouth were pretty obvious. "Don't tell your mother!" And we still haven't 20+ years later.
#10
One time my dad took me to my college orientation back in 98. I grew up in an urban setting and wanted to mix it up so I decided on an undergrad school in a very rural area. Read: Not a lot of diversity.
My dad is the best and always wants to goof around. We had this jeep growing up that we called "Little Blackie" because it was...little and black. A running joke was that any time any of us in the family saw a similar looking jeep, one of us would yell "hey! Look! It's little blackie!"
Bet you see where this is going.
We are walking around campus and sure enough, there was a jeep parked within sight. My dad starts yelling...Hey! Look! Little Blackie!! LITTLE BLACKIE!!!
OF COURSE the ONLY African American kid on campus was walking RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. My dad was oblivious and kept right on yelling. The poor kid looked at me in disgust and I was so very mortified. I wanted to disappear.
I ended up becoming really good friends with him later in my freshman year and after I explained the whole story he laughed super hard. Thank goodness. I still cringe thinking about it though.
Sam Trudeau 22 hours ago
Always have to be careful what you're saying, you never know what it sounds like out of context
#11
My dad was a fireman and picked me up from school in a fire engine once.
#12
One time my dad was an absolute bad a*s working from 5 in the morning till at least 6 at night on the family farm. Every day of the week, every week of the year for 40 years. My dad's always been a super hero to me.
Gingersnap In Iowa 21 hours ago
My Dad does this too. Although he's starting to slow down at age 79.
#13
One time my dad took my brother's walkie talkie and had us and about 10 kids in the neighborhood convinced that we had picked up a signal from a plane that was crashing towards the Earth. We were running up and down the streets for an hour with our eyes on the sky listening as the "pilot" tried to reach someone for help. Dad's windows were open so we eventually caught on to the heinous laughter echoing between the houses after every mayday.
#14
One time we went to Universal Studios and my dad took me on The Hulk roller coaster even though he knew it would make him sick. I was afraid of coasters at that point and he sacrificed himself because he knew I would never go on the ride without him. When we got off his face was completely colorless and his stomach was done working correctly for the rest of the day, but I loved the roller coaster.
#15
One time I was in another room and the phone rang. I hear my dad answer the phone when a telemarketer called, and they asked if he wants his ductwork cleaned. He said, yes, I would love to have my ducks cleaned. QUACK QUACK....QUACK QUACK... and then just hangs up on the guy.
#16
One day, my dad answered the door in his underwear at 8am. The salesman was obviously weirded out. After he left, my mom was mortified and asked why he did that. My dad said "If these people don't want a show, they shouldn't come for the matinee.".
#17
About 5 years ago, my dad accidentally cut three of his fingers off in our garage with a saw. My niece was only like 5 months old at the time, so growing up, she's never seen my dad with all of his digits. Anyway, when she was about 2 1/2, she noticed that one of his hands was different. So, one day she asked him "Grandpoppy, what happened to your fingers?" My dad looked down at his hand all shocked and said "Someone stole them!!" Her face had the look of pure horror, and she screamed, "Who stole your fingers?" My dad looked at my mom and said, "Granmommy stole them!" My niece ran up to my mom and started beating on her legs, searching her jeans pockets to give back her grandpoppy's fingers. My dad, man.
#18
So we were having a family dinner over the summer & my sister had been at a BBQ the day before & the host gave her a big bowl of fruit salad to take home.
We're sitting there having dinner & my dad is staring at the fruit salad with this weird look on his face & he says "What are these little blue things?" While holding up a blueberry.
We were like "how the f**k do you not know what a blueberry is?" Then realized my mom hates blueberries so dude hasn't seen a blueberry in 45 years & forgot they existed.
#19
My stepmom own a couple of hot dog stands that are located in Home Depots. Every summer she caters an outdoor movie night event for the community of her cousin. It's an all-day event and when I was in college they asked me to help out and gave me the money they got paid so I could have some money for school.
The morning of the event, I got to my dad's house and started helping him load the hot dog cart onto the back of his truck. All of a sudden this SUV starts speeding down the alley. My dad narrowly avoids getting hit, but as the SUV passes it took out the drivers side mirror of my dad's truck. The SUV then stops a few houses down and the guy jumps out and runs into a house.
My dad and I both look at each other, really confused, and then went to check out the damage. The mirror was hanging off so we had to start figuring a way to tape it on because we needed it to make the hour and half long drive to the event.
After a few minutes the guy from the SUV comes back out and walks towards us. My dad was pretty pissed and looked ready to confront him. The guy stops right in front of the mirror, looks at it, turns to us and says, "I'm so sorry. I was about to s**t myself."
I could barely withhold my laughter and although my dad was still visibly pissed, I could tell he thought it was funny too. The guy ended up paying for the mirror, but the whole thing was such a weird interaction.
#20
This is a dark story, but I still want to tell it because it really means something to me.
After my mom and dad got married, my dad would often come home late at night, very drunk. Almost every night he would be too drunk to function. My dad never thought twice about his alcoholism until my mother went into labor for the first time, and he was so drunk my mom had to call our next door neighbor to drive my mom to a hospital. My dad was too drunk to drive his wife to a hospital to give birth to his own son.
Since that moment, he has never touched a beer.
#21
According to my grandmother, my dad, on his first day of school back in the 60s came home all smiles and laughter.
The next day when my grandmother awoke him for his second day of school he matter-of-factly replied:
"No I've already been to school."
He really thought school was something like the dentist or innoculations where you only have to go the once and that's it lol.
Novlette Williams 19 hours ago
My little nephew did this too. He said "I have to go back? Every day" Woah!
#22
I pray this doesn't get buried. Once my dad got so drunk he stole a Shetland pony and tried to keep it in the kitchen.
My mum went ballistic while my dad was trying to feed the pony carrots.
#23
One time my dad came home after I had a party at the house. There were girls dancing together on the pool table, and one of them had Cheeto dust on their fingers. I tried to clean it, but couldn't get all of it before they got home. He calls me downstairs and asks about the marks on the table, I couldn't think of a lie so I just told him the truth. He stares for a couple seconds and then says "nice".
#24
When I was 17, my crush arrived to pick me up to go hang out; he didn't come to the front door, he just honked from the driveway. So my Dad got all pissy, that's not how you treat a lady, honking is unacceptable, and didn't let me go out! He brought up that scenario repeatedly for years, as a baseline for how my dates should treat me. He hated that guy. I got married a few years later, and my husband died a few years into our relationship. A few years after he died, I was joking with my dad about the guy honking his horn and my dad looks at me and says "Wait. That was the same guy??!" Yes Dad, that was the same guy! He'd never realized that I'd married the honking guy! I didn't know that he didn't know! My kids love that story, it's pretty hilarious!
#25
One time my dad was riding his bike on a 3 foot tall brick wall, slipped off, hit his head on it and got knocked out behind it for an hour or so. My grandma almost called the cops to file him missing.
He also tried to see how far he could p**s into a urinal. About 10 feet before he got caught by a teacher walking into the bathroom.
He also dared his best friend to throw a full milk carton at a teacher. His friend did it. That teacher was also my grandma's best friend at the time.
Him and my uncle were throwing snowballs at cars passing on the highway. They hit an undercover detective. They ran back to the house and his while my aunt didn't know they snuck back in and she had to talk to the detective.
He also stole my aunt's VW beetle and took it for a midnight joy ride. They got it stuck in a ditch and had a farmer pull it out with a tractor. She just found out last year. Nearly 40 years later.
He really likes car horns. When we were kids he held down the horn on a country road until the horn gave out and was just squeaking trying to make noise.
He recently got a new aerating trailer for his lawn mower and he was so excited about it that he did 3 of our neighbors' yards for fun.
He also got himself a Christmas present a few years back and yelled "YES THANK YOU" when he opened it. That same Christmas my mom got him a new coffee maker and he spent the entire night setting it up and making everyone coffee.
He bought a motorcycle as a mid-life crisis thing. He kept it a secret from my grandma for 3 years. A 50 year old man hiding things from his mom.
My older brother fired an arrow almost straight up in the air. It came back down right on the peak of our shed. Sticking straight up and dead center. You could tell he was trying not to laugh while scolding us.
We were having a bonfire one night and one of my brothers friends put a Mountain Dew can near the fire so it heated up slowly. When it exploded it sounded like a mortar went off. It sent embers 40 feet into the air and 25 feet around. After gaining our sense we could see our dads silhouette sprinting inside the house because he though we were getting shot at. I've never seen him move that fast. To clarify, he was already in the house.
Huddo's sister 7 hours ago
The urinal thing reminds me of an episode of the Aussie show Round the Twist where the boys had a competition to see who could pee the highest up (they were those ones that went almost the whole way up a wall) and one of the boys ended up peeing out of the open window above it and it got on a passing teacher.
#26
One time my dad went to fathers weekend for my sorority. My dad likes to believe he's 21 despite being 50 with 4 kids. At fathers weekend he got bored at our fathers event and decided to recruit my roommates dad to crash a frat party. Well he succeeded and proceeded to walk down our street until he found a party to crash. He and his new friend knocked on the door and asked to see the place. Once inside they made fun of the lack of good alcohol the party had and proceeded to buy a keg of "the good stuff" for the party. He then starts to make friends with the guys at the party and starts taking shots with them. Fast forward and hour and now my dad is showing the music he used to listen to when he was in college the ask him to go on the stage and play it on the speakers. Well he proceeds to play some songs and jumps on the table and starts to dance on the table. The table then breaks and my dad is carried off as the coolest dad ever. It's been a year and I am still hearing people talk about him.
TL;DR One time my dad crashed a frat party and broke a table dancing on top of it.
#27
One time my dad almoat slit my throat because he thought I was a burglar. I had snuck downstairs for some reason, I was in the kitchen and heard him coming in, so I hid behind the kitchen counter. Heard my dad opening drawers and things. Next thing I know he had leaned over the counter and grabbed my head, had a kitchen knife to my throat. A split second later he realised it was me and dropped me, then I got yelled at because he had heard me breathing, thought I was a home intruder, and I almost got in a world of pain. He was shaking from adrenaline. As a dad now myself, I can imagine the state of mind he was in.
Ross Shaw 1 day ago
In college I decided to come home for the weekend (three hour drive) without letting Mom and Dad know, arriving about 2 am. Thought I was being quiet coming in the front door, but as I softly pressed it closed behind me, at the bottom of the stairs I hear, "Ross?" "Yeah, it's me Dad." Go downstairs to hug him, and it doesn't hit me until morning that he only hugged me with one arm. To this day, 28 years later, if I ask him what was in his other hand he just smiles at me. Tldr: Dad nearly shot me.
#28
One time my dad literally took candy from a baby.
A two year old held up a lollypop and my dad assumed the kid was giving it to him. After taking it and walking away, he realized the toddler probably just wanted to show it to him...
#29
One time, when i was about 10, my dad called me into his room. He and my mom were there, completely naked, standing around and laying their clothes down ready to get dressed. They acted like the situation was completely normal and asked me about some random thing.
I eventually blocked this memory out, and thought it to be a dream, but then, 10 years later, they told me that was their way of showing me what a body looked like because i was getting close to "that age".
Dude, wtf.
TL;DR: My parents flashed me to avoid 'the talk'.
#30
One time, my dad was sitting on the couch in our living room. Mom brought out a bag of sugar and asked him to open it. He opened it like it was a bag of Doritos, and I mean, IT. WAS. EVERYWHERE. He was only wearing his shorts, so there was sugar in just about every square inch of his visible hair as well as all over our couch and carpet. Took him four showers in a row to get it all off.
Note: this post originally had 76 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
What do you think ?
Disgruntled Pelican 18 hours ago
My dad is a jack of all trades and it constantly fascinates me. First he was a semi-professional drag racer (and a really good one at that), then he was a carpenter (the type who decided he was bored during COVID and just built a 10 foot extension on their living room), he owned a successful bar for a while, he's been working for a farmer for 30+ years and is one of their most trusted workers, and he used to restore old steamer trunks on the side. He's the most incredible person I know.
Libstak 1 day ago (edited)
My late dad practically stole pomeranian Coco, ok they were kindred spirits, what could I do? Anyway, one day Coco went outside and dad shut the glass sliding door after him, Coco hit the zoomies, didn't know dad had shut the door and nose first smacked into it. Coco was p.i.s.s.e.d and holding a grudge. How do we know? The very next day, dad walked out to dump some trash so left the door open as he was coming right back. Coco went and slid the door shut after him and then stepped back and waited for his revenge. We could barely contain ourselves and yup dad smacked right into the door. Little Coco jumped up, wagged his tail madly and hit the zoomies as if to say "gotya ".
Disgruntled Pelican 18 hours ago
My dad is a jack of all trades and it constantly fascinates me. First he was a semi-professional drag racer (and a really good one at that), then he was a carpenter (the type who decided he was bored during COVID and just built a 10 foot extension on their living room), he owned a successful bar for a while, he's been working for a farmer for 30+ years and is one of their most trusted workers, and he used to restore old steamer trunks on the side. He's the most incredible person I know.
Libstak 1 day ago (edited)
My late dad practically stole pomeranian Coco, ok they were kindred spirits, what could I do? Anyway, one day Coco went outside and dad shut the glass sliding door after him, Coco hit the zoomies, didn't know dad had shut the door and nose first smacked into it. Coco was p.i.s.s.e.d and holding a grudge. How do we know? The very next day, dad walked out to dump some trash so left the door open as he was coming right back. Coco went and slid the door shut after him and then stepped back and waited for his revenge. We could barely contain ourselves and yup dad smacked right into the door. Little Coco jumped up, wagged his tail madly and hit the zoomies as if to say "gotya ".
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