Why someone would propose on another couple’s wedding day is beyond me. Not only does it take the spotlight from the newlyweds, who, by the way, paid for the celebration, but it also seems disrespectful and throws the whole party off its tracks.

Redditor Inside-Werewolf-3400 recently shared how his best man ruined his almost-perfect wedding by proposing during the reception. Fuming, he kicked the friend out of the celebration, later wondering if what he did was too harsh.

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with lead planner Christa Graham, owner of Christa Graham Weddings & Events, and wedding and event planner Kristen Kane from Kristen Kane Events, who kindly agreed to give their opinions on wedding proposals.

Proposing during someone else’s wedding is one of the things guests shouldn’t do

Image credits: Josh Kobayashi (not the actual image)

When this groom’s best man did it at his wedding, he immediately kicked him out

Image credits: cait00sith (not the actual image)

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual image)

Image credits: Inside-Werewolf-3400

“Under no circumstances is it acceptable to propose at someone else’s wedding”

With all the love around, it might be tempting to take out the ring box and get down on one knee. However, event and wedding planners agree that doing so at someone else’s wedding is a big no-no, especially if the couple hasn’t been warned beforehand. 

“Under no circumstances is it acceptable to propose at someone else’s wedding,” says wedding and event planner Kristen Kane to Bored Panda.

“Never,” emphasizes lead planner Christa Graham. “The couple likely spent hours of time, lots of money, and innumerable brain power and emotion to plan their wedding day. They have chosen to share this treasured and very personal piece of their relationship with their wedding guests. For someone else to propose during this event not only takes the spotlight away from the rightful couple, but does not do their own relationship any justice. A proposal deserves its own moment, not to steal from someone else’s!” she explains.

Even if the couple is already freshly engaged and is excited to share this news with others, they still should wait until the celebration is over. “Someone else’s wedding day is not the time for you to make major personal announcements such as your own engagement or news that you and your partner are expecting.  This way, both the couple’s wedding and your major life change can be celebrated properly and given the excitement they deserve,” Kane says.

Your partner deserves to have an engagement that is uniquely yours

As Graham already mentioned, your partner deserves to have an engagement that is uniquely yours. “Choose another time and location for your marriage proposal,” recommends Kane. “This will make your engagement much more personal and allow you to have your own special moment.  Some proposal ideas include popping the question at a location that has a significant meaning to you as a couple, a special date to you and your significant other such as the anniversary of your first date, or a romantic getaway. “

“Choose somewhere meaningful to you — or somewhere that you won’t mind to become meaningful! ” seconds Graham. “A park, a coffee shop, a restaurant, or an arcade. The formality doesn’t matter, but the moment and the emotions will be remembered forever!” 

If your partner doesn’t like public affairs, they might also not appreciate being proposed to in front of a large number of wedding guests. “If you are proposing to a quiet, low-key partner who doesn’t like the spotlight, you would plan a proposal that is special and private, perhaps at home or on top of an isolated mountaintop, as opposed to in front of a group of people or any large public displays,” Brett Galley, director of special events and owner of Hollywood POP Gallery, says.

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Essentially, the only proposal rule is to focus on your relationship and what your partner likes (and avoid doing it at someone else’s wedding!). No one knows your partner better than you, so customizing the proposal to their preferences is the most straightforward and effective way to go. 

The author received mixed opinions from readers

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