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Since we were little, we all knew that insulting someone or calling names was a big no-no. However, life is full of big no-no’s, and to counteract some of them, you have to use them for your own good. And an insult is probably one of the most used of forbiddens in the life of an adult. However, we are not talking here about calling someone a beaner bronco buster or something by far nastier - the insults in our list will make the receiver shiver from your intelligence, quiver at their own incompetence, and feel the undeniable superiority of your wit. Yes, here they are, the best insults ever recorded on the internet, delivered fresh & hot right to your screen.
Knowing fully well that by spreading nasty, you only get nasty back, we’ve figured out that calling someone to get back to Earth requires certain finesse and flair; thus, calling someone a phallus head does not make it into our list. Instead, these comebacks are as subtle as Claude Debussy’s Clair de Lune, as camouflaged as the workings of Sherlock Holmes, and as smart as Albert Einstein himself. Oh, also, as beautifully versed as the sonnets of mister William! So, we bet that out of these original insults, you’ll definitely find one to put in your pocket and air out when needed.
Well, are you ready to check out our list of the best insults ever? If so, clear up a few RAMs worth of space in your coconut for memorization and skip to the comebacks just a bit further down. Once you are there, vote for the funniest insults and share this article with anyone in need.
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#1
I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
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#2
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.
#3
May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
#4
Don’t you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning?
#5
I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
#6
Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
#7
I’m glad to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance.
#8
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.
Riley Warrick 2 years ago
Well, my parents said I could be what ever I wanted to be, so I became a disappointment.
#9
I get so emotional when you're not around. That emotion is happiness.
#10
I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago
I heard this one before and have been patiently waiting to use it..
#11
You are so ugly that when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering.
#12
I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you.
#13
You are the human version of period cramps.
#14
You've only got 2 brain cells and they are both fighting for 3rd place.
#15
Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?
#16
I told my therapist about you.
Katherine Boag 2 years ago
I mean, you need to tell your therapist about the people you spend the most time with anyway, whether theyre a good or bad influence on your mental health
#17
You couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.
#18
You are proof God has a sense of humor.
Good Luckas 2 years ago
“Hmmmm let’s see…..what if I do a human with ALL BAD STATS!! Wouldn’t that be hilarious!? Yeah let’s do it!”
#19
I bet your mom doesn’t put your coloring pages on the fridge.
Jerry Ryan 2 years ago
Once again what a minute my mom used that is my nick name ( mouse that is not meme )
Load More Replies... #20
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
#22
You're so ugly even Stephen King has nightmares about you.
#23
Oh, you don’t like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck.
#24
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
#25
You must have been born on a highway. That’s where most accidents happen.
#26
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
#27
If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.
#28
You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
Phoenix CP 2 years ago
thought it said gay sprinkle n i was like.. but the whole thing is gay??
#29
I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
#30
Yeah? Well, you smell like hot dog water.
What do you think ?
Sinead Kenny 2 years ago (edited)
Im 42 yr old female and I told a younger colleague the other day 'i'm so sorry, I'm guessing you are insulting me however the 'urban dictionary' and your abbreviations having quite made it into the Oxford English dictionary, much less the standard conversation for anyone over 12 yrs old. So come back and try again when you surpass the vocabulary range of a primary school child or even better when you can actually spring a sentence together and spell it correctly! Don't worry I'll be sat here with baited breath 🤐😋 oh and btw just because your bag screams LV it isn't LV. The stitching is just the start of your problems . The print should be LV not VL. 🤏👌. Think she is still trying to work out what i actually said to her 😋
IlovemydogShilo 2 years ago
Wow. I hope you have a good dental hygienist. You need one to help clean all that bulls**t out of your mouth. 😊 jk
Load More Replies...
M Atlas 2 years ago
Here’s one: “yeesh, you’re so ugly even Australians are afraid” Another?: “bro, you’re so ugly that zombies take one look at you and go ‘I ain’t eating that’” One more: “bro, you’re so stupid that when you were abducted by aliens, they kicked you out and said intelligent life form not detected’, not to mention they lost so many brain cells that they forgot that they even exist”
ANGELINE VARONIS 2 years ago
OK OK, I'VE GOT ONE! If someone says "Say that again to my face!" After using these awesome insults, ya gotta say "I already did, or was that your @$$? I can't tell since both of em' spew $h!t all the time."
Kevin Hickey 2 years ago
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception." - Groucho
Duncan Rogers 2 years ago
"You, (sir or madam) are a prime example of why some animals eat their young"
Rainbow Dash 2 years ago (edited)
Sir? I’m concerned are you ok? Do you need a therapist?
Load More Replies... Annabelle Dietrick 1 year ago
I read that someone said this. "If idiots could fly, this place would be a whole aśs airport." And it applies to my entire schooh C:
meow point1 2 years ago
"You're like a neutron -- you don't contribute anything in a positive or a negative direction; you just add weight."
William Makyali 2 years ago
Some guy was mean to mean in our WhatsApp group and I told him his English sucked like my German he said he could pay me to teach him good English I responded "I'm not desperate but I could pay you to teach you social etiquette. Clearly a good job wasn't done" I got no f response from him, I hit him on the head...
IlovemydogShilo 2 years ago
If my dog looked like you, I’d shave his a*s and make him walk backwards.
Ghostsauce 2 years ago
I worked with some terrible supervisors in my time, some who didn't even oversee my department. I wanted to say something like "Maybe you would realize how terrible things are if you climbed down from that ivory tower stuck up your b*tt."
MadamGreenIce 2 years ago
For fun, yes this post is entertaining. But all in this list can also be used by bullies. Indirectly, we're teaching bullies to insult us.
Terka Červeňáková 2 years ago
You look like the type of person who, if given lolly, would suck on the stick instead of the candy...
Anna M. G. Novák Vanclová 2 years ago
"You are such an idiot that if there was a competition to find the biggest idiot you would place second because you are such an idiot that you wouldn't even win it."
Uber Mensch 2 years ago
I'll bet you're even ugly in the dark. People like you is why they invented birth control. Congratulations - I hear you're going to be the poster child for Planned Parenthood! That (person) is denser than a neutron star...
Debrina Blackmoon 2 years ago (edited)
How about, "A black hole would run from you."?
Load More Replies... Sinead Kenny 2 years ago (edited)
Im 42 yr old female and I told a younger colleague the other day 'i'm so sorry, I'm guessing you are insulting me however the 'urban dictionary' and your abbreviations having quite made it into the Oxford English dictionary, much less the standard conversation for anyone over 12 yrs old. So come back and try again when you surpass the vocabulary range of a primary school child or even better when you can actually spring a sentence together and spell it correctly! Don't worry I'll be sat here with baited breath 🤐😋 oh and btw just because your bag screams LV it isn't LV. The stitching is just the start of your problems . The print should be LV not VL. 🤏👌. Think she is still trying to work out what i actually said to her 😋
IlovemydogShilo 2 years ago
Wow. I hope you have a good dental hygienist. You need one to help clean all that bulls**t out of your mouth. 😊 jk
Load More Replies... M Atlas 2 years ago
Here’s one: “yeesh, you’re so ugly even Australians are afraid” Another?: “bro, you’re so ugly that zombies take one look at you and go ‘I ain’t eating that’” One more: “bro, you’re so stupid that when you were abducted by aliens, they kicked you out and said intelligent life form not detected’, not to mention they lost so many brain cells that they forgot that they even exist”
ANGELINE VARONIS 2 years ago
OK OK, I'VE GOT ONE! If someone says "Say that again to my face!" After using these awesome insults, ya gotta say "I already did, or was that your @$$? I can't tell since both of em' spew $h!t all the time."
Kevin Hickey 2 years ago
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception." - Groucho
Duncan Rogers 2 years ago
"You, (sir or madam) are a prime example of why some animals eat their young"
Rainbow Dash 2 years ago (edited)
Sir? I’m concerned are you ok? Do you need a therapist?
Load More Replies... Annabelle Dietrick 1 year ago
I read that someone said this. "If idiots could fly, this place would be a whole aśs airport." And it applies to my entire schooh C:
meow point1 2 years ago
"You're like a neutron -- you don't contribute anything in a positive or a negative direction; you just add weight."
William Makyali 2 years ago
Some guy was mean to mean in our WhatsApp group and I told him his English sucked like my German he said he could pay me to teach him good English I responded "I'm not desperate but I could pay you to teach you social etiquette. Clearly a good job wasn't done" I got no f response from him, I hit him on the head...
IlovemydogShilo 2 years ago
If my dog looked like you, I’d shave his a*s and make him walk backwards.
Ghostsauce 2 years ago
I worked with some terrible supervisors in my time, some who didn't even oversee my department. I wanted to say something like "Maybe you would realize how terrible things are if you climbed down from that ivory tower stuck up your b*tt."
MadamGreenIce 2 years ago
For fun, yes this post is entertaining. But all in this list can also be used by bullies. Indirectly, we're teaching bullies to insult us.
Terka Červeňáková 2 years ago
You look like the type of person who, if given lolly, would suck on the stick instead of the candy...
Anna M. G. Novák Vanclová 2 years ago
"You are such an idiot that if there was a competition to find the biggest idiot you would place second because you are such an idiot that you wouldn't even win it."
Uber Mensch 2 years ago
I'll bet you're even ugly in the dark. People like you is why they invented birth control. Congratulations - I hear you're going to be the poster child for Planned Parenthood! That (person) is denser than a neutron star...
Debrina Blackmoon 2 years ago (edited)
How about, "A black hole would run from you."?
Load More Replies... You May Like 30 Wildest Comebacks That People Have Heard Or Come Up With 192 Best Comebacks That Burn As Hot As Ice “Die In A Minute”: 40 Times Autocorrect Made A Mess From A Normal Text
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