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Since we were little, we all knew that insulting someone or calling names was a big no-no. However, life is full of big no-no’s, and to counteract some of them, you have to use them for your own good. And an insult is probably one of the most used of forbiddens in the life of an adult. However, we are not talking here about calling someone a beaner bronco buster or something by far nastier - the insults in our list will make the receiver shiver from your intelligence, quiver at their own incompetence, and feel the undeniable superiority of your wit. Yes, here they are, the best insults ever recorded on the internet, delivered fresh & hot right to your screen.
Knowing fully well that by spreading nasty, you only get nasty back, we’ve figured out that calling someone to get back to Earth requires certain finesse and flair; thus, calling someone a phallus head does not make it into our list. Instead, these comebacks are as subtle as Claude Debussy’s Clair de Lune, as camouflaged as the workings of Sherlock Holmes, and as smart as Albert Einstein himself. Oh, also, as beautifully versed as the sonnets of mister William! So, we bet that out of these original insults, you’ll definitely find one to put in your pocket and air out when needed.
Well, are you ready to check out our list of the best insults ever? If so, clear up a few RAMs worth of space in your coconut for memorization and skip to the comebacks just a bit further down. Once you are there, vote for the funniest insults and share this article with anyone in need.
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#1
I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
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#2
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.
#3
May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
#4
Don’t you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning?
#5
I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
#6
Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
#7
I’m glad to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance.
#8
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.
Riley Warrick 2 years ago
Well, my parents said I could be what ever I wanted to be, so I became a disappointment.
#9
I get so emotional when you're not around. That emotion is happiness.
#10
I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago
I heard this one before and have been patiently waiting to use it..
#11
You are so ugly that when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering.
#12
I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you.
#13
You are the human version of period cramps.
#14
You've only got 2 brain cells and they are both fighting for 3rd place.
#15
Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?
#16
I told my therapist about you.
Katherine Boag 2 years ago
I mean, you need to tell your therapist about the people you spend the most time with anyway, whether theyre a good or bad influence on your mental health
#17
You couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.
#18
You are proof God has a sense of humor.
Good Luckas 2 years ago
“Hmmmm let’s see…..what if I do a human with ALL BAD STATS!! Wouldn’t that be hilarious!? Yeah let’s do it!”
#19
I bet your mom doesn’t put your coloring pages on the fridge.
#20
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
#22
You're so ugly even Stephen King has nightmares about you.
#23
Oh, you don’t like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck.
#24
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
#25
You must have been born on a highway. That’s where most accidents happen.
#26
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
#27
If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.
#28
You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
Phoenix CP 2 years ago
thought it said gay sprinkle n i was like.. but the whole thing is gay??
#29
I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
#30
Yeah? Well, you smell like hot dog water.
What do you think ?
Sinead Kenny 2 years ago (edited)
Im 42 yr old female and I told a younger colleague the other day 'i'm so sorry, I'm guessing you are insulting me however the 'urban dictionary' and your abbreviations having quite made it into the Oxford English dictionary, much less the standard conversation for anyone over 12 yrs old. So come back and try again when you surpass the vocabulary range of a primary school child or even better when you can actually spring a sentence together and spell it correctly! Don't worry I'll be sat here with baited breath 🤐😋 oh and btw just because your bag screams LV it isn't LV. The stitching is just the start of your problems . The print should be LV not VL. 🤏👌. Think she is still trying to work out what i actually said to her 😋
IlovemydogShilo 2 years ago
Wow. I hope you have a good dental hygienist. You need one to help clean all that bulls**t out of your mouth. 😊 jk
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Sinead Kenny 2 years ago (edited)
Im 42 yr old female and I told a younger colleague the other day 'i'm so sorry, I'm guessing you are insulting me however the 'urban dictionary' and your abbreviations having quite made it into the Oxford English dictionary, much less the standard conversation for anyone over 12 yrs old. So come back and try again when you surpass the vocabulary range of a primary school child or even better when you can actually spring a sentence together and spell it correctly! Don't worry I'll be sat here with baited breath 🤐😋 oh and btw just because your bag screams LV it isn't LV. The stitching is just the start of your problems . The print should be LV not VL. 🤏👌. Think she is still trying to work out what i actually said to her 😋
IlovemydogShilo 2 years ago
Wow. I hope you have a good dental hygienist. You need one to help clean all that bulls**t out of your mouth. 😊 jk
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