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For many individuals, friends are some of the most important people in their lives; not to mention best friends. But unfortunately, despite often being referred to as “best friends forever”, they might not stick around this long, and there can be many reasons why.

One redditor recently started a discussion about such reasons, after they turned to the ‘Ask Reddit’ community asking why other users and their best friends had a falling out. Quite a few netizens went down memory lane—and not a fun one, I might add—and shared the stories of what turned their BFF into a stranger. Scroll down to find their accounts on the list below and feel free to share your story in the comments, if you, too, have lost a friend you thought was going to be by your side forever.

On the list below, you will also find Bored Panda’s interviews with evolutionary psychologist and expert in cooperation, altruism, and friendship, Dr. Patrick Barclay, and retired associate professor, researching positive and negative components of friendship, Morton J. Mendelson, who were kind enough to answer a few of our questions.

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#1

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened He transitioned to a she, which I had no problem with. But then she made that her entire personality, constantly playing the victim, no matter the situation.
Got shorted at Chipotle? They must hate trans people.
Got cut off in traffic? They must hate trans people.

And on and on and on and on…. It was exhausting. But the straw that broke the camels back, was when we were having a discussion about this whole thing. I told her that I was on her side and always had her back regardless. And she said “That’s not enough.”

And I was out. 20 years of friendship, out the window in 3 words.

C-137MrMeeSeeks , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Alexandra
Alexandra
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people embrace victimhood the way someone who drowns hangs onto a buoy.

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#2

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened She made out that her dad was missing (he wasn't) and said to me infront of our friends, "no offence, at least you know where your dad is."

Sounds normal, but my dad passed away a month before this. She was seriously messed up and I'm glad I'm no longer friends with that psycho.

bonkersaurs , Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#3

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened I was doing all the work. Initiating conversations, making the plans, driving, paying (they make almost no money, and I was making good money), keeping the friendship going...

I stopped instigating plans. They never contacted me. I knew right then that this was truly a one-sided friendship.

EnigmaCA , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Tyke
Tyke
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

20 years ago I decided to see how long it would take for a certain friend to call me (we used to socialise weekly)... still waiting

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“Friendship plays a crucial role in people’s lives, especially now that most people live far from relatives,” evolutionary psychologist Dr. Patrick Barclay noted in a recent interview with Bored Panda. “Friends provide both practical and emotional support. We need someone in our lives, which can be filled by friends or family, so if family isn’t there, then friends become more crucial.

“This has a real impact on people’s well-being – those who are lonely are more likely to die sooner,” the expert pointed out. “And this isn’t just humans: when researchers study female baboons, they show that the females who are most socially connected tend to have more kids and live longer.”
#4

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened He passed away. I'm pretty pissed about that. He did have the final say.

kanofcorn , Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Child of the Stars
Child of the Stars
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope the OP knows that anger at a deceased loved one is a perfectly normal and healthy part of grieving.

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#5

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened Her boyfriend told her he didn’t trust me so she cut me off. I just laughed and moved on, three weeks later she caught him cheating. Our friendship never recovered.

ConstantHuman920 , Savannah Dematteo / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Discussing how falling out with a friend can affect someone’s well-being, Dr. Barclay compared it to a divorce. “They both involve the loss of a close partner. I’d expect a similar bunch of emotions. You used to have someone who could support you – now you don’t. That’s a big hit to your life. And there can be the same animosity, blame, and negativity towards the former friend.”

The evolutionary psychologist added that in the same way that animals respond to being socially connected, they react to losing a “friend”, too; and they appear to take it quite hard. “Female baboons make allies with other females – they groom each other and support each other in conflict, and some researchers call it ‘friendship.’ But they can lose that ‘friend’ if she dies. And you can see it in their behaviour after – they’re less confident and more hesitant, because they don’t have their friend backing them up anymore. They attempt to compensate by reaching out to other individuals to get a new ally, if they can find one.”

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#6

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened He took me to a party at the house of his girlfriend’s friends. I was a POS and stole from the host, I was caught weeks later. Paid back what I stole to avoid charges being pressed and the friendship was rightfully over.

That was 20 years ago and it still bothers me often. I’m sorry Zach!

badabinkbadaboon , Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#7

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened He decided to lie about having money to fly out to be my best man and instead went on vacation. I had no best man for my wedding. 25 years, gone.

Coldfire2050 , Alejandro Jimenez / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Stephanie A Mutti
Stephanie A Mutti
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read stuff like this and I think there HAD to have been some signals before this. Your true best friend would never at the last minute bail. I think some friendships are not what we imagine them to be.

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#8

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened My best friend RSVPed for a table of six for my wedding, but none of them showed up. I never got a text, call, gift, or any kind of excuse. Based on social media pictures, I found out later on that they had a picnic and just didn't feel like doing a wedding. That was painful because even a lie apology would have at least suggested some level of apathy.

phoenix14830 , Helena Lopes / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Another expert on friendship, Morton J. Mendelson, shared that together with a colleague, Prof. Frances Aboud, they have identified six qualities that contribute to the quality of a friendship, the first one being stimulating companionship – doing things together that arouse enjoyment, amusement, and excitement.

“Although some may think it’s simply doing things together that count, it’s important to stress the fun and excitement in common activities,” Mendelson noted.
#9

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened Wasn't my best friend, but was a close one. One day he confessed to me that he had a foot fetish and I was just polite about it like "OK man, that's not for me but it's cool you like it!"

And then he told me that he always liked my feet a lot. (I'm a girl btw)

And then EVERY SINGLE TIME we interacted after that he was like a drooling, badly trained dog. Always panting after me, begging me to send him foot pictures and other weirder s**t.

I tried to be firm, I tried to reason, I tried telling him that I miss our friendship. But he even continued after I was in a relationship, and then married, and then EVEN when I was pregnant. And I just decided to mourn the person he was when we were friends because he's dead to me now. Just no respect, and I can't stand the way he shrinks me down to this fetish, like all the deep and meaningful conversations we had and the friendship we shared was just fake because he was trying to get my feet in his mouth.

The fetish zone is an incredibly uncomfortable place to be in if you thought you were in a friendship.

fullcupofbitter , Diana / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#10

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened My best friend over 20 years tried to frame his wife for felony assault and I knew he was lying because I was there on those days. He wanted to get out of paying alimony, dividing assets, and sharing custody. I told him not to do this, and end his marriage with a proper divorce over but he wouldn’t listen.

I testified against him because I couldn’t let this happen to an innocent person.

I feel sad it came to this, and I feel I betrayed him. Had he taken the high road I’d have been there for him 100%.

turumti , Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Enlee Jones
Enlee Jones
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You didn't betray your friend. Your friend is a douche and isn't worth feeling guilty over.

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#11

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened She’s 30 & still acts 16. All she cares about is drama & dudes who are trash & I’m done hearing about it.

No_Step_851 , MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Disgruntled Pelican
Disgruntled Pelican
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All too familiar. I had one friend who would only talk about herself and whatever man she was with. She's in the process of getting divorced and I stopped taking to her when the only texts I would receive were about her sex-capades. Heck, she even admitted once that she was going to stop by but they had been screwing so much that day they she forgot. Done.

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The second aspect that adds to the quality of friends’ relationships is help – “providing guidance, assistance, information, advice, and other forms of tangible aid necessary to meet needs or goals.”

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Third, according to the experts, is intimacy, which Mendelson describes as “sensitivity to the other’s needs and states, by providing an accepting context in which personal thoughts and feelings can be openly and honestly expressed and by openly and honestly disclosing personal information about oneself.”
#12

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened Idk man. He was my best friend, good guy. We did everything together for about 15 years. We were in bands, trained jujitsu, movies, everything.

One day about 8 years ago, just stopped responding to texts or calls. I send a text once or twice a year to let him know I miss him and I want to know what happened. Haven’t heard from him in 8 years. He’s married now with a kid and taking over his father’s business. I wish him nothing but success, health and happiness.

I just want to know what happened but here we are.

troutburger30 , Masood Aslami / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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tracy black
tracy black
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i can totally relate to this one had a best friend for over 15 years we were both super busy but always made time to go to breakfast at least once a week then one week she didnt show up for breakfast called no answer no reply to text seen her about a year later at the mall she was working there next i went she wasnt there then she came in a store i was working at i spoke she said oh i didnt know you worked here never seen her in there again i went into dollar tree she was working i spoke she quit lol i have no idea what i did or didnt do but im fully convienced that when i was trying to buy a house i had one and supposedly all was good to go i was packed and ready to close the morning of the closing i get a call saying ohh we are so sorry but you are NOT approved sorry . her daughter worked at the loan company. its okay i have a wonderful house that i love and no drama

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#13

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened He kept sleeping with my wife, even after I asked him to refrain from doing that.

Equivalent_Delays_97 , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Gatorraid
Gatorraid
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bud you should have kicked them both to the curb the first time 💀

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#14

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened He beat his wife and went to jail.

TheRev15 , Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Next on the list of the ingredients of friendship is reliability, as a person must be able to count on the continuing availability and loyalty of the friend. Then there’s self-validation – “perceiving the other as reassuring, agreeing, encouraging, listening, and otherwise helping to maintain one’s self-image as a competent and worthwhile person.”

And lastly – emotional security, which Mendelson described as “comfort and confidence provided by the friend in novel or threatening situations.“
#15

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened Refused to take a side when it counted. It was especially hurtful considering the situation I was in was caused by the consequences of me sticking my neck out for her.

7_Rowle , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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RAM31280
RAM31280
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel this one, I tried to remain neutral, I was not judging either of them, but my uncle cut me out of his life because I would not tell my wife she is not allowed to talk to his ex wife.

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#16

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened It was more of a 'we stopped talking to each other for good' than a proper falling out, but she was the sort of person who would be close friends with you one moment, but the minute she got into a relationship, that became her entire world and she would stop talking to you for weeks on end. The only times I used to hear from her was when she decided she needed a break from her boyfriend and figured I'd always be around to hangout with her.

My final straw was going on a shopping trip with her and she was close to straight up leaving me at a shop with no transport in place because she was in a rush to get back to her boyfriend. She had driven us out to this place and was prepared to leave me there which would have cost me a lot of money to get back home.

Kirbzi95 , Darina Belonogova / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Luke Branwen
Luke Branwen
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm going through something similar right now. But I'm still happy for her since she finally found a decent man after numerous toxic disasters.

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#17

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened He had a kid. I literally never heard from him again after he texted me that his daughter had been born. Every few months or so I’d reach out and ask how everyone was doing. I quit after about a year.

We moved to different cities after graduating college. He’d always been a super busy, distracted guy with a lot going on so I understood at the beginning. I’m not a needy guy or a needy friend. Having a kid is especially hard work and should be his number one priority…but to never hear from the guy again, ever? My best friend? That sucked. That sucked bad.

VikingRodeo9 , Edwin Ariel Valladares / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Discussing what makes a good friend, Dr. Barclay seconded some of Mendelson’s ideas, emphasizing that a good friend is willing, able, and available to help.

“We all need friends who can help us: they know what we need and when, and are competent enough to provide it,” he said. “What good is a friend who can never repay a favour, never understand what we’re going through, never give us enjoyment in their company, or never give us the practical and emotional support we crave?

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“But a good friend must also be willing to help: they need to value our welfare enough so that they sacrifice their time and energy for us. A good friend rejoices in our gains and suffers in our losses, such that they’re willing to help us achieve those gains and prevent those losses. We don’t want ‘fair-weather friends’ who are only friends when times are good, or those who are only friendly when they need help. If a friend isn’t willing to help, then they’re not a true friend – there’s a difference between friends and amusing drinking companions,” Dr. Barclay suggested, giving credit to cartoonist Tim Kreider for the last line.
#18

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened She got too drunk and randomly started being really nasty toward me. Said some very very hurtful things that a “best friend” would never say unless they thought those things to be true the whole time we were friends. She crossed a line and I can’t find it in me to forgive her.

bnrdancer , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Emma
Emma
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

damn, makes me think about a situation i had with "a best friend"

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#19

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened We went from best friends to roommates, and we had terrible issues with communication until resentment built up so much that we had an extreme blowup over the phone.

About a year later, I was feeling a lot of regret about it, so without my knowledge my girlfriend actually reached out to him to see if he would be willing to talk to me. He seemed amenable to it, but after I apologized for my end of it, he took the opportunity to unload on me even more. I honestly felt a weight lifted off my shoulders and didn’t feel anymore regret. We were meant to part ways and that was that.

successadult , Chris F / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Papa
Papa
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2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a roommate for a year or so. Due to our work schedules we usually only saw saw each other one day per week, so we'd have supper together then. It worked out great. That was over 40 years ago, and we're still friends.

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#20

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened He chased me around with a hammer and threatened to [unalive] me after asking him to turn his instrument down because it was louder than my drum kit and despite wearing musicians earplugs/monitors I was going deaf.

anon , Ksenia Chernaya / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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“Finally, a good friend must be available to help,” Dr. Barclay continued. “Someone might be warm and competent, but if they’re never around, then we don’t really benefit from their friendship. So people seek friends who are available.

“The best friends are high on these three qualities: they’re very willing to help us, highly able to do so, and readily available. Bad ‘friends’ are low on all three, especially social parasites who make demands but never reciprocate. In the middle are the friends who are intermediate on all three qualities, or who are high on one quality but low on others, like the buddy who is really fun but not particularly helpful. The best friends are those who will have our back when push comes to shove, and are good at it,” Dr. Barclay emphasized.
#21

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened Her ten year old son died of sepsis.


a few years later, I survived sepsis, because I knew the signs.

but because I survived, our friendship failed. twenty years.

WearyEnthusiasm6643 , Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Child of the Stars
Child of the Stars
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel for both sides in this. Grief makes people act irrationally, and I can only imagine how it would f.u.c.k. up a person to lose a child.

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#22

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened Let’s just say when you got through a health scare like cancer, you quickly figure out who your good friends are, despite being beside them through thick and thin over many years. Good riddance!

haphazard72 , Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Jac Carr
Jac Carr
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister had been battling cancer for 3 years now. I asked her how her best friend of 20 years was doing and she told me that her friend "can't handle" her cancer so hasn't seen her but she texts her very occasionally. My sister said it casually but I know she's very hurt. I swear to God I will punch that woman in the throat if I ever see her again

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#23

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened Invited him to an NFL game, ticket price was $100.00 or so, I didn’t ask for reimbursement or did he offer it, just wanted him to have a good time. Fast forward two weeks later, I call him up on a Friday evening seeing what he’s up to, want to do something. He’s excited I called because him and other friends, not my friends, had an extra ticket to a cover band, ask if I wanted to go. I met up near the venue, one of his friends became ill and so I ended up driving him home, over 20 miles round trip. Got back to the venue,went to the show, good time. Two days later he was over to watch football, as he was leaving asked if I had the $8.00 for the ticket, I reluctantly gave it to him, he could tell I was upset. He called me about 20 minutes later asking why I was upset, I told him first I didn’t ask for reimbursement to the NFL game and most importantly he wanted $8.00 for a ticket that they would have not used, had to eat , if I didn’t call. Also I reminded him of driving his ill friend home without any offer of reimbursement. His response, “oh.”.

TheAmishPhysicist , Sean P. Twomey / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#24

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened She hit on my dad. He made her leave and told her mom. We haven't talked since.

Horror-Extension9520 , Anna Shvets / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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DennyS (denzoren)
DennyS (denzoren)
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like as friends, certain things and people are off-limits...similar to the guy and his wife/best friend in another post. You just don't go there.

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#25

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened He got into a relationship with a narcissist. His gf has been alienating his friends from day 1. Just found out from a mutual friend that none of his Day 1 friends are invited to his wedding. I’ve know my best friend for almost 2 decades.

Heard the reason why I wasn’t invited was because I didn’t support his relationship according to his fiancée. The fiancée has bumped heads with me in the past and I was his roommate but she wanted me gone. I stood up for some ppl in our friend group when he stayed silent while she gossiped about them.

poet0588 , Katerina Holmes / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Wang Zhuang
Wang Zhuang
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've said it a thousand times: Good friends are often the first casualties of a bad relationship. And too often, the spouse who lost their friends doesn't figure this out until it's too late.

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#26

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened He gave me a gift and then asked me to give it back so he can sell it.

Tastycaramel0 , Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#27

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened Because I was a s****y, self centered, selfish person and they finally had enough. Even though it shattered me at the time, and still does from time to time, it may have been the greatest act of love they ever gave me.

nabbyroots22 , mikoto.raw Photographer / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Jac Carr
Jac Carr
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should be proud to have evolved enough to see your own faults

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#28

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened “Stay in this raid group, or spend time with your wife, your decision,”.

USNAVY71 , Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#29

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened She was constantly tracking my location and began treating me like she was my toxic boyfriend. wouldn’t let me get a partner, make new friends, it was rough for a long time. also a bit verbally abusive.

viabasic , SHVETS production / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#30

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened I "left town and didn't even tell anyone." I messaged them all for months and even had a going away party that no one showed up to. Looking back they were not very good friends.

CaptainQuoth , Tony Schnagl / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#31

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened I cut ties with my best friend because he had a thing about getting together with girls that I had previously dated or been out with - now you may say that that's OK, because I was no longer seeing them, but when it happens repeatedly, and in some cases there is still some residual emotional attachment, it gets a bit wearing. It went on for about 7 years, and got to a stage where he was virtually lining up my current g/f, as his next g/f.

rcfvlw1925 , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#32

He's somewhat rich. Retired and since he's not making money he's getting free healthcare through Obama Care. He brags that he voted every time to prevent Obama Care, but "hey, if they're dumb enough to give it to me, I'll take it".

D**k.

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#33

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened We both grew older but I'm the only one that grew up.

We're in our 30s and in her mind we are still 16. She still has the mindset of a high schooler when the reality of the situation is she's a single mom that is self destructing instead of being a good mother to her 8 year old son.

One of the last straws was the principal sent her a letter about her always bringing her son to school 30 min late, him being violent to the point where all the other kids are afraid of him, and his grades declining. The letter was well articulated, empathetic and it was clear the principal cared about the well-being of her, her son and all of the other students. She got upset that I agreed with the principal.

tmps1993 , Moy Caro / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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HangryHangryHippo
HangryHangryHippo
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1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A friend should be able to be honest with you, especially when it's a hard truth like this. That poor child 😢

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#34

Going to church with him. We somehow get on the topic of whether or not gay people should be allowed in church. I say that Jesus welcomed everyone and that any church should do the same. His counter was just telling me to shut up. The last I spoke to him was 2008 when he begged me to not vote for Obama because he was evil.

I became an atheist soon after lol.

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Luke Branwen
Luke Branwen
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me and my best friend for almost a decade fell out after she casually mentioned she supports conversion therapy. She's not religious. So it's less about religion and more about people being bigoted A-holes.

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#35

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened He found new friends and started seeing me as a backup friend, the mutual respect just wasn't there anymore.

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#36

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened It turns out that everyone I thought was my friend in high school was just faking it. Everyone regularly talked s**t about me behind my back.

The person who, at the time, I wrongly believed to be my best friend was one of them, and only told me about a year after we had graduated. Looking back, I shouldn't have been friends with her anyway. She was dating someone who was 25 at the time she was 17. They're married now.

So who needs her?

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#37

We were close, close, close. We lived in separate countries and I had visited her at one point and we had a BLAST and it brought us even closer. It was amazing. A few weeks later she reunited with an old flame and over the next few weeks we started talking less and less.

She came out to visit me several months later here in the US (her first actual visit) and spent most of the time texting and talking on the phone to her boyfriend when we were out and about. At the house, she was glued to Skype talking to him. I had a party and invited mutual friends she had known online for a really long time so they could meet her and she stayed in a back office talking to the boyfriend on Skype for most of the night.

She ended up having a $1500 phone bill from all the long distance calls and texts (this was early 2000s).

By the time it was time for her to go back home, I literally could not care less. We may have spoken once after that where she assured me that everything was good. That was like twenty years ago. =/.

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#38

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened He made fun of me for dropping out of college. That was years ago and we have since moved way past it, but in the end he did kind of end up with a s**t degree from a s**t university and has never had a job in his chosen field.

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#39

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened She perpetually dated cheaters and anytime I’d point out a red flag she would tell me I was jealous… would come running back as soon as she found out they cheated but I cut her off because id had enough.

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#40

30 People Who Lost A Best Friend Shared What Happened Because Im autistic and didn’t know it. Paraphrasing a lot there, but thats basically what it came down to.

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Jac Carr
Jac Carr
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2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a tricky one. Your behaviour before you knew could have been accidentally toxic so your friend may have thought you were the bad friend. Only you know the circumstances of course but I'm sorry you lost your friend

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#41

She made fun of my mental health problems in front of other friends while we were living together. I later realized it was a heavily codependent relationship and was never really healthy.

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#42

My bro just started to hang out with gangsters 1 year ago and one day came up to me demanding I fight him. Apparently the gangsters told him to fight me for him to fully join their clan or sum but in the end, we didn’t fight. He still got accept in their stupid gang.

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#43

I don't know how to explain it but she wasn't rooting for me. She never seemed happy for me, or asked me questions about myself. She just... wasn't a good friend. And eventually, that was enough. I thought I could be the good friend for the whole relationship but alas, nope. And honestly, I don't miss her.

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#44

I wish i knew. One day he was gone. Supposedly still lives in my city but I cant get a hold of him. I miss my friend.

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#45

We both joined the Marine Corps out of high school and went in under the “Buddy Program” but got separated at the airport after landing in San Diego.

He ended up in one platoon and I in another. Both of us were told either one of us could switch over to either platoon but that never happened.

Fast forward two months.

During the Crucible (a grueling 3-day series of field exercises that tests your mental and physical limits) our company (consisting of six 80ish-man platoons) had gathered at the base of a mountain we called The Reaper. It’s one of the crucible’s final mentally and physically-demanding tests.

At this point in time during recruit training, I had earned the honor of “Company High Shooter” and was awarded the position of squad leader.

Just before we stepped off to hump The Reaper, I had noticed my best friend at the tail-end of his platoon before us. Turned out, he had a knee injury and was without his rifle and ruck.

For some stupid reason I sounded the alarm to my Senior Drill Instructor that Recruit Campbell and I were best friends who got separated at the beginning of recruit training.

My best friend, Shane, someone who had literally been my best friend since second grade was worn out and had the look of defeat.

To make matters worse, my SDI called Shane over, and said to him “How in the hell can a broken b***h like you know one of my best recruits?! You’re disgusting, broken, weak, and you WILL be phased out of my Marine Corps. You will NEVER earn the title of United States Marine. Now get the f**k away from me right now.”

They forced him to hike the Reaper regardless of his injury. His platoon was in front of mine. And while he struggled to keep up with his platoon, I helped lead mine. And every chance I could I tried to use words of motivation so he could finish.

They put him in a humvee after the Crucible and medically separated him shortly after.


We had a falling out because he got seriously into hard d***s after they sent him home. It was and still is seriously heartbreaking for me. I talk to him occasionally, but just to make sure he’s still around.



Life took us through two totally different paths because of that day. I’ve tried helping him several times over the years, but he kinda just wants to be left alone.

I hate it.

Edit to add - this was just over 19 years ago.

Edit 2 - In addition to the d**g use (which is something he was staunchly against prior to boot camp, so it was more of a moral compass disappointment because that wasn’t who he was to me) rumor around town was he was claiming to having still earned the title Marine. That was a main wedge. It took a few years for me to accept that was his was of coping with the embarrassment, and ultimately forgive him.

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#46

His family moved when I was 8. I reconnected with it him randomly 25 years later. He was married with 2 kids, and had no interest on a continued friendship. That’s ok.

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#47

He broke into the apartment I shared with my mother while I was out of town attending her funeral to get his half of a bag of weed.

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#48

Dude would leave a mess every time he came over to my apartment, I had a talk with him about it and he just went on a full tangent about how its expected of the host to pick up after the guests which I would agree to if we were talking about like parties, events or just social invites but sometimes he would just show up to my place without telling me and I work remote so sometimes I would be exhausted from work just to clock out to start cleaning.

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#49

She, my now ex GF had sexual relations with my longtime friend and band mate. I’ve never had a lot of friends in life and this was a kick in the teeth. It destroyed my trust in people and I almost drank myself to death.

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DennyS (denzoren)
DennyS (denzoren)
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn. This would definitely hurt but also kinda crappy of the bandmate...so it's a two way street.

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#50

She demanded I spend my time between her and my boyfriend equally. She would complain I went out with him alone, but not her. If I took a trip with him, now I had to do it with her for the same amount of days.

Now she's married to another woman, so it's possible her feelings weren't merely friendship, but probably more.

Edit: to clarify for those who asked, this was about 10 years ago. I'm married to that boyfriend now. I'm over 30, this was in my mid 20s.

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#51

I dated his ex. It was a rocky high school relationship that didn't even last. He dumped her when the girl he actually liked started showing signs of liking him back... And four f*****g years had gone by! He was living with the new girlfriend already. Yet it was still a huge deal and he felt soooo betrayed. I think he just needed an excuse to cut me out of his life.

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#52

He was paranoid and depressed, always judging himself and others too harshly. Always thought I was out here "trying to get him". Then he would be an a*****e, usually when we were drunk, and I wouldn't put up with it. I would get annoyed, call him out and other s**t. Im not blameless there.



But the last time it happened, it was my first time going out after a surgery. I had previously asked him to join me, because I Was going to hang out with a girl who always tries tonset me up with her friends. i just wanted some back up. He said he couldnt go out that night. After dinner we went to a local pub he told me about. And guess who shows up on his own. Honestly whatever, i Was more happy to see him and his gf.


After a while we mentioned going to Karaoke, I was in a great mood son I decided to pay everyones tab when noone was paying attention. He said some stuff and seemed annoyed, and even later mentioned how im in always trying to make him look bad.


Then later my friend and I(the girl not him) started hooking up a bit. This seemed to piss him off. Idk this for sure but this is a girl he had previously gotten very handsy with and was rejected. Maybe that was why? Idk.


Ultimately he started accusing me of something like trying to manipulate him, and I swore on the soul of my dead mother i was just chilling and nothing like that was even crossing my mind. And he lost it. Saying I disrespected my own mother. I was still pretty fresh from a surgery so I just sat down on the curb while he tried to kick and punch me.


Over texts the next day he complained how I always take the high road and how I'm secretly a piece of s**t. And he knows the "true me". I told him to get help and that I loved him but I was done. Haven't spoken to him since. ​.

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#53

We mostly moved to different stages of our lives. He went to travel the world without finishing high school. I went into academia. Not saying either one is better. We just no longer have much common anymore….

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DennyS (denzoren)
DennyS (denzoren)
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've had this happen with friends too, you just take different paths. Nothing wrong with either, it just doesn't converge much.

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#54

They became obsessed with Bit Coin and getting rich. To the point every time Id ask to hang out (which as I reflect, I threw the invite 99% of the time), all they wanted to do is try to tweek their bit farm. I finally got tired of asking. All the things we had in common seemed to take a back seat to their obsession. Sucks, it was a 35+ year friendship. Haven't talked to them in a few years.

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CrunChewy McSandybutt
CrunChewy McSandybutt
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've lost a couple of friendships because they got into MLMs, and every hangout was a hard sell on the program. They lost their whole social circle because of it.

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#55

I over reacted to something, which was completely out of the ordinary for me. Instead of being genuinely concerned as to what caused me to act the way I did, he got mad and yelled at me.

I was fully in the wrong and would have apologized (I actually did apologize to another person that was involved in the situation), but his reaction to the situation made me start thinking about a lot of things that happened over the years and I realized that he wasn’t someone that I wanted to associate myself anymore.

I am so much happier now and also do my best to control my emotions better.

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#56

My best friend and I were joined at the hip did four years. Then she decided she didn’t like my boyfriend. She asked me to not say anything about him. So I didn’t. Then she found out I had never broken up with him. She gave me a whole spiel about how I had preached I trusted her but couldn’t even tell her that one thing and that now things can never be as they were before. We could still be friends but a lot of things would change as she could no longer trust me.

For all my efforts, we never spoke again.

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Jac Carr
Jac Carr
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How are you supposed to not talk about something but then ARE supposed to talk about it? You've lost nothing

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#57

He introduced me to D&D and then proceeded to use it to [hurt] me due to personal issues with me and when I would bring up something feeling unfair or off he would belittle me and treat me like s**t.

We didn't speak for 9 months and I'd blocked him. He made new accounts, reached out and it took about 6 months for it to happen again.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. That's what I get for being naive.

Re-blocked him again and that was about 4 years ago now.

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Hazel Sage
Hazel Sage
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2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As they say, no D&D is better than bad D&D. When this happened to me I started my own group and became the Game Master. It hurt like hell, though.

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#58

He had a messy breakup with his girlfriend and couldn't cope with the aftermath. Somehow, he convinced himself that it was everyone else's fault and not of his own actions, and he decided to cut off his close group of friends, including myself, in a half a*sed attempt to feel better.

We haven't talked in 10 years, but we've crossed paths at local shows every so often. He looks the other way when he walks by.

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#59

He stole my £8 fishing line and hooks but denied it then, when we went fishing, used both, looking back on it, i respect the hustle.

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