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People Are Cracking Up At These 30 Dad Jokes As Found On The Internet

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Dads, the New Balance-wearing heroes, the Bermuda shorts-clad supporters, and the slightly protruding pouch-donning meat smokers. Dads are almost like some mythical beings seeing no shortcomings of wearing THE sock and sandal combo, while everyone else shies away from this fashion fiasco as if it would cost their lives. They will pinch your arm if you have a boo-boo on your knee and tell you, ‘Well, THAT doesn’t hurt anymore, does it?’ and they will also remind you your whole life of that one time you stuck a finger in a lawn chair filigree and couldn’t pull it out. However, they will also be there to support you no matter what and will often make even the gravest atmosphere lighter with that universal sense of humor typical only for Fathers. Yup, it’s the dad jokes that turn a man into a father, and it’s the dad jokes that will forever make you groan, cringe, and blow a raspberry. But admit it, you like it, and so do we.

And somehow, only dads can get away with these silly jokes - maybe it’s because they have no fear of embarrassment or maybe because of their mythical Dad Powers that can turn even the lamest joke into an uproarious event. This we have no answer to, and the only thing we can do upon hearing such a joke is to try not to roll our eyes so hard they fall out of their sockets. But let’s get to the point here - while you might think that the dad joke is the most exploited category of jokes ever, let us remind you that the generations of fathers are changing, thus spawning newer, fresher, and even more cringy jokes constantly. That’s why we’ve gathered a list of the best dad jokes that came to the Internets just recently and are offering it to you!

Now, you know what to do - do some warm-up exercises for your facial muscles in preparation to frown, chortle, and snort and scroll down below to check the au courant dose of dad jokes. Then, vote for the silly jokes that made you spill your coffee in exasperation and share these dad-isms with your friends!

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#1

I wish Covid-19 had started in Las Vegas. Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

150points

Wild Bill Ingram 2 years ago

True to that 🤣

10points

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#2

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

111points

Eagle Girl 2 years ago

Oh I thought this was answered by which one fell asleep 1st

5points

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#3

I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

89points

Chelle Jones 2 years ago

Don't SWEAT it!

27points

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#4

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

86points

Robert T 2 years ago

This has Milton Jones written all over it!

10points

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#5

Air used to be free at the gas station, now it's $1.50. You know why?

Inflation.

77points

Eagle Girl 2 years ago

oh that let the air out of my tires

12points

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#6

My wife said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort.

72points

Chelle Jones 2 years ago

My husband would have farted to force me to evacuate. 🤣😅

24points

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#7

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least it does if you throw it hard enough.

72points

Riley Quinn 2 years ago

Reminds me of lemons. When life gives you lemons squeeze them right back into life's eyes.

16points

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#8

Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves. Finally, my high school karate lessons paid off.

68points

Canda (Cat Panda) 1 year ago

That caught me off guard!

2points

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#9

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

66points

Tee Witt 2 years ago

I must remember this.

5points

#10

Which days are the strongest?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

63points

Roger Haywood 2 years ago

Oral s*x makes your day, but an*l s*x makes your hole weak. Sorry.

11points

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#11

I just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend. It maybe wasn't the best idea, because it meant I couldn't see the TV.

58points

#12

I used to run a dating service for chickens. But I was struggling to make hens meet.

58points

Nathan Adams 2 years ago

heehhheehe

3points

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#13

I tell dad jokes but I have no kids…I'm a faux pa!

58points

Mangelo Il Fumatori 2 years ago

This is me.

4points

#14

I invented a new word today: plagiarism!

58points

Roger Haywood 2 years ago

Copy that.

33points

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#15

My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down!

56points

James Reed 2 years ago

why do flamingoes stand on one foot? If they stood on 0, they would fall down!

11points

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#16

Can February march?

No, but April may!

55points

Philly Bob Squires 2 years ago

Ju-lyin...

12points

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#17

A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!

52points

Jamin P, Rose 2 years ago (edited)

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? There was nothing left but da brie. The better one.

9points

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#18

Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?

They just seem a little shady!

47points

September 2 years ago

Unrelated: Remember how trees and plants will move and sway in gusts of wind and a breezy day? Now imagine all of then doing just that but it's a completely calm day, not a hint of a breeze 🤔

2points

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#19

I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!

45points

Tee Witt 2 years ago

So can I, all by myself

5points

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#20

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere!

43points

Betsy Novack 2 years ago

Their fondue is our of this world.

6points

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#21

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

43points

Robert T 2 years ago

What's black and white and red all over? A newpaper. (only works if you say it)

4points

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#22

My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They're his watch dogs!

43points

STress 2 years ago

I named my dog "10 miles". So, when people ask me what I'm doing at the moment, I just say: "Here I am, walking 10 miles"...

7points

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#23

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

42points

Chelle Jones 2 years ago

Now this is a joke to CROW about!

10points

#24

Why couldn't the astronaut land on the moon?

Because it was full.

41points

Eagle Girl 2 years ago

Hope he/she remembered to pack a launch

12points

#25

Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating?

Because they have no body to go with!

40points

John Smith 2 years ago

Also they just don't have the guts to go alone.

21points

#26

If towels could tell jokes, I think they'd have a very dry sense of humor.

39points

Sophia Ramsey 2 years ago

and they might have a tendency to explain the joke, which would really wipe the humor out of it.

4points

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#27

Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That's the punch line.

38points

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#28

I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns!

38points

Carlton L. Fox 2 years ago

Lucky it wasn't the grenade collection.

3points

#29

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use a honeycomb.

35points

#30

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there!

35points

Hermione 2 years ago

Because it’s the dead centre of town.

9points

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#31

My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn't cool.

17points

#32

Five out of four people admit they're bad with fractions!

16points

#33

My doctor told me I was going deaf. The news was hard for me to hear.

16points

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#34

How does a man on the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

15points

#35

Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover?

Cause you shouldn't press your luck.

15points

Chelle Jones 2 years ago

So that's why it never worked.. hmm

2points

#36

What do you call a beehive without an exit?

Unbelievable.

15points

#37

Why do vampires seem sick?

They're always coffin.

15points

#38

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

15points

Russ Kincade 2 years ago

I am not making this up - they taught goldfish to drive in Israel: https://www.cnn.com/videos/world/2022/01/10/goldfish-drive-vehicle-lon-orig-mrg.cnn

1point

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#39

One of my favorite memories as a kid was when my brothers used to put me inside a tire and roll me down a hill. They were Goodyears!

15points

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#40

I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums. I need Help!

15points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

Snort-laugh!

1point

#41

I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

14points

#42

Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.

14points

#43

Why do dogs float in water?

Because they are good buoys.

14points

SeaJaySea 11 months ago

THEY ARE GOOD BOIS

0points

#44

Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine?

He wanted his quarter back.

14points

Chelle Jones 2 years ago

Some NFL players are as big and solid as a vending machine.

1point

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#45

Some people can't distinguish between etymology and entomology. They bug me in ways I can't put into words.

14points

Willow Calvert 2 years ago

Which one is which again?

1point

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#46

If an English teacher is convicted of a crime and doesn't complete the sentence, is that a fragment?

14points

#47

I've been bored recently so I've decided to take up fencing. The neighbors said they will call the police unless I put it back.

14points

#48

If two vegans get in a fight, is it still considered a beef?

14points

James Perkins 2 years ago

It probably be called a Beet. I'll see myself out

5points

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#49

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

13points

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#50

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint!

13points

#51

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He neverlands!

13points

#52

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip?

I was heels over head!

13points

#53

If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?!

13points

Jack Harris 1 year ago

😂

2points

#54

I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad!

13points

#55

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her, "First offender?"

She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"

13points

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#56

What rock group has four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

12points

#57

A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future. The doctor asks him, "How long have you suffered from that condition?"

The guy tells him, "Since next Monday."

12points

Don 2 years ago

I saw that one coming

2points

#58

What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?

European.

12points

#59

What's ET short for?

Because he's only got tiny legs!

12points

#60

I would avoid the sushi if I were you. It's a little fishy!

12points

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#61

I don't play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I'm just doing it for kicks!

12points

#62

What did the Ranch say when someone opened the refrigerator door?

"Close the door, I'm dressing!"

12points

#63

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let's make this interesting." So we stopped playing chess.

12points

Jack Harris 1 year ago

Hey! Rude! I like chess!

2points

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#64

What concert costs just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback!

11points

Eagle Girl 2 years ago

That's a grand-dad joke. Remembers the idea but messes the delivery. It's 50 cent with Nickelback

1point

#65

What do you call a mac 'n' cheese that gets all up in your face?

Too close for comfort food!

11points

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#66

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them!

11points

#67

Why did the old man fall in the well?

Because he couldn't see that well!

11points

#68

I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.

11points

#69

What's the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.

11points

Robert T 2 years ago

This the PC version of this joke.

1point

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#70

What is the tallest building in the world?

The library—it's got the most stories.

11points

#71

What do you call it when Dwayne Johnson buys a cutting tool?

Rock pay-for scissors.

11points

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#72

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

Depresso.

11points

#73

My dog used to chase people on a scooter a lot. It got so bad we had to take his scooter away.

11points

ZonkeY_the_DonkeY 2 years ago

I don't get it

1point

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#74

Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was. It was a brief case.

11points

#75

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta way!

11points

#76

I know a lot of jokes about retired people but none of them work!

11points

#77

Why did the math book look so sad?

Because of all of its problems!

11points

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#78

What does the cell say to his sister when she steps on his toe?

"Oh my toe sis!"

11points

#79

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

Put some boogie in it!

10points

#80

Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?

Because it didn't habanero.

10points

#81

Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?

Because all the fans left.

10points

#82

After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

10points

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#83

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised!

10points

#84

After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it!

10points

#85

This morning, Siri said, "Don't call me Shirley." I accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode!

10points

E Menendez 2 years ago

Love that movie!

1point

#86

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto!

10points

#87

I accidentally dropped my pillow on the floor. I think it has a concushion.

10points

#88

I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.

10points

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#89

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

10points

#90

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food here."

10points

#91

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.

10points

Willow Calvert 2 years ago

this one is way too old to be on here

0points

#92

Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows?

They're making headlines.

10points

#93

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

10points

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#94

What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You're under a vest!

10points

#95

I never buy pre-shredded cheese. Because doing it yourself is grate.

10points

#96

What do scholars eat when they're hungry?

Academia nuts.

10points

#97

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

10points

#98

I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… but the kids still get in.

9points

#99

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast!

9points

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#100

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired!

9points

#101

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire!

9points

#102

I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary. I told him, "Mark, my words!"

9points

#103

How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

9points

#104

Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?

"Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket."

9points

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#105

Why do Dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one.

9points

#106

What do you call a fish with two knees?

A two-knee fish!

9points

#107

Student: "Can I go to the bathroom?"

Teacher: "It's 'may.'"

Student: "No, it's January."

9points

#108

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!

9points

#109

My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?

"And I told him, "No it doesn't!"

9points

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#110

What do you call a donkey with only three legs?

A wonkey!

9points

Phill Healey 2 years ago

What do you call a Llama that's always complaining about his friends group in an over the top way? A drama Llama.

2points

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#111

What do you call a fake noodle?

An Impasta!

9points

#112

I have a great joke about nepotism. But I'll only tell it to my kids.

9points

#113

What do you call an ant that has been shunned by his community?

A socially dissed ant.

9points

#114

Why do melons have weddings?

Because they cantaloupe!

8points

#115

Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I'm not going to spread it!

8points

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#116

What do you call a factory that sells passable products?

A satisfactory!

8points

#117

Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it!

8points

#118

I'm starting a new dating service in Prague. It's called Czech-Mate.

8points

Al Jameson 2 years ago

I have a Polish friend who's a roadie in a band. I have a Czech one too. A Czech one too. A Czech one too.

0points

#119

What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to?

Plymouth rock.

8points

#120

I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!

8points

#121

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!

8points

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#122

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

8points

#123

What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?

Sneakers!

8points

#124

What do Santa's elves listen to ask they work?

Wrap music!

8points

#125

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

Sofishticated.

8points

#126

Not to brag but I made six figures last year. I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

8points

#127

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!

8points

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#128

I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole destroying!

8points

#129

Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!

8points

#130

So a vowel saves another vowel's life. The other vowel says, "Aye E! I owe you!"

8points

#131

When the grocery store clerk asks me if I want the milk in a bag, I always tell him, "No, I'd rather drink it out of the carton!"

8points

#132

The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line. Only a fraction of people will understand this!

8points

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#133

What rhymes with boo and stinks?

You!

8points

#134

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said "parking fine."

8points

#135

St. Francis worked at Krispy Kreme. He was a deep friar.

8points

#136

In America, using the metric system can get you in legal trouble. In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.

8points

#137

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

8points

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#138

I'm reading a horror story in braille. Something bad is going to happen, I can just feel it.

8points

#139

I got a hen to regularly count her own eggs. She's a real mathamachicken!

8points

#140

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a milk cow?

It is either one or the utter.

8points

#141

A Vicks VapoRub truck overturned on the highway this morning. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours!

8points

#142

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn't see himself doing it!

7points

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#143

What do you call a shoe made of a banana?

A slipper!

7points

#144

Did you hear about the bacon cheeseburger who couldn't stop telling jokes?

It was on a roll.

7points

#145

I slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace!

7points

#146

I thought about going on an all-almond diet… But that's just nuts!

7points

#147

Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money?

It suffered from withdrawals.

7points

#148

Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks?

Minnesota!

7points

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#149

I don't really call for funerals that start before noon. I guess I'm just not a mourning person!

7points

Robertas Lisickis

Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

Saulė Tolstych

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

Aivaras Kaziukonis

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

What do you think ?

BasedWang 2 years ago

How do you make a handkerchief dance? Put a little boogy in it

2points

Samara013 2 years ago

I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I don’t think it would get much of a reaction.

1point

BasedWang 2 years ago

How do you make a handkerchief dance? Put a little boogy in it

2points

Samara013 2 years ago

I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I don’t think it would get much of a reaction.

1point

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