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Ever had a heated online argument with a stranger, only to think of the perfect comeback three days later? Well, on the internet clock, a few days might as well be an eternity, and everyone’s already moved on.

But over on r/clevercomebacks, wasting time is unheard of. With over 2 million members, this subreddit is full of sharp retorts for any situation. At Bored Panda, we’re big fans. So we’ve rounded up the best comebacks they have to offer. Keep reading, you might just find the right response to silence that next awkward comment.

#1

Yep May Be It Is True

Yep May Be It Is True

johnmory Report

The feeling of disappointment when you don’t have a clever reply on the spot actually has a name—it’s called ‘l’esprit de l’escalier’, or ‘staircase wit’. This term was coined by the 18th century French philosopher Denis Diderot in his dramatic essay, Paradox of the Actor.

The phrase comes from an incident Diderot had over dinner. “A sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument leveled against him, becomes confused and doesn’t collect his thoughts until he’s at the bottom of the stairs,” the philosopher wrote.

#2

Do You Have One?

Do You Have One?

Comfortablejack Report

There’s a reason why we sometimes freeze and struggle to respond when someone says something upsetting. Our body sees it as a social danger and goes into defense mode.

“When someone says something offensive or harmful that hurts us or hurts a member of a community that’s really important to us, our nervous system can get activated,” said psychologist Kerry McBroome for Time Magazine. “The parts of the brain that are responsible for coming up with clever or witty things to say are just not online—they’re nervous and sensing a threat.”

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#3

Never Underestimate A Woman

Never Underestimate A Woman

Dry-Net Report

#4

Found It On Twitter. Hope I Am Not Too Late

Found It On Twitter. Hope I Am Not Too Late

zzuhruf Report

Of course, some folks are naturally good at throwing verbal punches and do so whenever they can. But if you need some pointers in that area, blogger and podcaster Myke Macapinlac has tips on how to be more quick-witted and funny.

According to him, one of the first things you should learn is how to stay present in the moment. “Catch yourself when you’re ruminating and remind yourself to slow down your breathing. By doing so, you’ll be able to relax your body and bring yourself back to your current situation,” he advises.



#5

Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him

Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him

The_Jib Report

#6

Just Another Reason To Keep My Purple Hair

Just Another Reason To Keep My Purple Hair

pedragono Report

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If you’re having a conversation, Myke suggests really focusing on what the other person is saying. “It’s much easier to come up with the right things to say when you’re actually listening,” he notes.

#7

“Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”

“Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”

reddit.com Report

#8

They Don't Give A Damn

They Don't Give A Damn

blaze_uchiha999 Report

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#9

Well Then Rip

Well Then Rip

ConteStefanon Report

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Another key tip is to stop caring so much. Macapinlac points out, “Most individuals who struggle socially think that all eyes are on them. They’re so afraid of being judged by others that’s why they stifle their personality. To avoid embarrassing themselves, they just remain quiet.”

“Even if you say something silly, I can assure you that people would’ve forgotten about you by the time they get home”. By letting go of this fear, you’ll be more relaxed, which will help you make clever remarks faster.

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#10

What A Good Reply

What A Good Reply

Comfortablejack Report

#11

Keep Your Stick On The Ice

Keep Your Stick On The Ice

Master1718 Report

#12

Love This Guy

Love This Guy

humanitalian Report

Sometimes it’s good to prepare in advance. “Get a piece of paper and take the time to reflect. Think of previous situations where you wanted to say something clever but you weren’t able to. And then, brainstorm some good comebacks that you could’ve said,” the blogger recommends.


#13

I Don’t Care If Repost Made Me Laugh

I Don’t Care If Repost Made Me Laugh

iamafailedasian Report

#14

Not Be A Baby Machine

Not Be A Baby Machine

lucynyu13 Report

#15

Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

BelleAriel Report

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It’s also important to manage your emotions. When you’re calm and collected, you come across as more confident. Macapinlac encourages trying out meditation and journaling to be more mindful.

“[This] will allow you to control the way you think. You’ll be able to identify and reframe your limiting beliefs.
This will help you become less reactive, especially during stressful moments”.

#16

Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe

Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe

themaskedvillain Report

#17

You're The Problem

You're The Problem

Cereal_killer03 Report

#18

Room Temperature IQ

Room Temperature IQ

reddit.com Report

Don’t forget to take inspiration from others. “What better way to improve your sense of humor than by watching more comedy shows and stand-up routines,” Myke says. “Pay close attention to [the comedian’s] material. Notice the timing and delivery of the joke. When something amuses you, ask yourself why by taking a moment to analyze it”.

#19

Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?

Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?

OldFingerman Report

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#20

Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile

Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile

reddit.com Report

#21

Why Don't You Stand Up For Yourself?

Why Don't You Stand Up For Yourself?

Thalassolykos Report

However, if you’re around someone you want to build a lasting relationship with, be considerate and don’t say things that could ruin someone’s day. “If you want to learn how to be witty and funny, always leave people better than before you met them.”

#22

Some Good Luck!

Some Good Luck!

FitzRowe Report

#23

Thank You Andy Wang!

Thank You Andy Wang!

ykafia Report

#24

It Was Social Distancing Haha

It Was Social Distancing Haha

BelleAriel Report

Lastly, be patient with yourself and make an effort to get out of your comfort zone. “The more you practice, the better you’ll be at bantering with people,” Myke concludes.

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#25

Definitely Atheists That Do This

Definitely Atheists That Do This

Jet_The_Tabaxi Report

#26

I Understand Completely

I Understand Completely

My_Memes_Will_Cure_U Report

#27

Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

free-whitebird Report

So next time, we hope you have the confidence and quick wit to deliver that perfect comeback. Stay sharp!

#28

They Also Don't Come In Exciting Anime

They Also Don't Come In Exciting Anime

TheRikari Report

#29

Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???

Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???

FitzRowe Report

#30

British Museum

British Museum

athrvpatil Report

#31

Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile

Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile

twinkletoes_44 Report

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#32

Look Before You Leap

Look Before You Leap

reddit.com Report

#33

I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before

I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before

reddit.com Report

#34

Stealing The Rainbow

Stealing The Rainbow

BuickBobFL Report

#35

Separate Payments

Separate Payments

memezzer Report

#36

Big Footprints To Fill

Big Footprints To Fill

mysteresc Report

#37

Education Is Vitally Important, After All

Education Is Vitally Important, After All

Smitherd Report

#38

Bless This Woman

Bless This Woman

sp0okygorl Report

#39

Why Would They Need To Am I Rite?

Why Would They Need To Am I Rite?

LordMouse121 Report

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#40

People Really Live In Their Own Little Bubbles

People Really Live In Their Own Little Bubbles

hayashiiiii Report

#41

Comeback

Comeback

clevcomebacks Report

#42

Comeback

Comeback

clevcomebacks Report

#43

Comeback

Comeback

clevcomebacks Report

#44

Simple Math To Hard

Simple Math To Hard

uncle_russell_90 Report

#45

Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?

Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?

reddit.com Report

#46

True Perfection Has Been Achieved

True Perfection Has Been Achieved

ekiechi Report

#47

Comeback

Comeback

clevcomebacks Report

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#48

Illegal Plants

Illegal Plants

YoloForJesusChrist Report

#49

I Hate Anti-Maskers

I Hate Anti-Maskers

CatPizza838 Report

#50

Old But Gold

Old But Gold

Y_Z_P Report

#51

Useless Trees

Useless Trees

Kennydoe Report

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#52

Atheists, Christians And Cats

Atheists, Christians And Cats

Bubble_Babe_0o0o0o Report

#53

Both Magnus Carlsen And I Can Play Chess

Both Magnus Carlsen And I Can Play Chess

toure Report

#54

Cry Me A River That Flows 5 M/S²

Cry Me A River That Flows 5 M/S²

Fishylips Report

#55

Comeback

Comeback

clevcomebacks Report

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#56

Not Mine But On Point

Not Mine But On Point

justinpwheeler Report

#57

Common Sense Is Really Rare These Days

Common Sense Is Really Rare These Days

productivitybeginner Report

#58

Morning Coffee vs. Morning People

Morning Coffee vs. Morning People

NJmaker Report

#59

Bill Burr Everybody

Bill Burr Everybody

JustDanLee87 Report

#60

Elite Finish

Elite Finish

MythicalBeast263 Report

#61

That's A Good Proof

That's A Good Proof

ekmadeye Report

#62

Comeback

Comeback

clevcomebacks Report

#63

Philip Brought A Tank In A Knife Fight

Philip Brought A Tank In A Knife Fight

whymynamedoesnotfi Report

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#64

"Markets Unable To Adapt To New Generation Of Consumers"

"Markets Unable To Adapt To New Generation Of Consumers"

k*llHACKS Report

#65

So Easy To Say

So Easy To Say

unfazed_jedi Report

#66

Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control

Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control

ducassen4534 Report

#67

They Must Have Had A Religious Exemption

They Must Have Had A Religious Exemption

Jojojoost010 Report

#68

Another Reason To Love The Beatles

Another Reason To Love The Beatles

simwalkedaway Report

#69

Better Hope His House Doesn't Catch On Fire!

Better Hope His House Doesn't Catch On Fire!

KingJak0b Report

#70

Damn... Guess My Opinion Is Invalid

Damn... Guess My Opinion Is Invalid

reddit.com Report

#71

That’s My Gender

That’s My Gender

reddit.com Report

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#72

The Only Reasonable Response

The Only Reasonable Response

LargeSackOfNuts Report

#73

Got Roasted By A Police Twitter

Got Roasted By A Police Twitter

A_Tired_Indian Report

#74

Simple, Yet Effective

Simple, Yet Effective

Captain_Keyboard_Man Report

#75

When You Get Shot Down By Facts

When You Get Shot Down By Facts

reddit.com Report

#76

I Mean They've Got A Good Point

I Mean They've Got A Good Point

FrothyGuinness Report

#77

She's Baaaad

She's Baaaad

reddit.com Report

#78

Maybe I Am Karen?

Maybe I Am Karen?

reddit.com Report

#79

That Makes Sense

That Makes Sense

TrulyImpress86 Report

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#80

The Greatest Genius Of Our Time

The Greatest Genius Of Our Time

JewelerDear9233 Report

#81

German History Lesson

German History Lesson

frncscbtncrt Report

#82

He's Not Wrong

He's Not Wrong

vertigno Report

#83

Most Of Us Are Too

Most Of Us Are Too

PLASMABOLT111 Report

#84

Careful What You Say

Careful What You Say

DutchSapphire Report

#85

He Makes A Good Point

He Makes A Good Point

SadlysoulReport Report

#86

Climate Change Is Not Real Guys!!!

Climate Change Is Not Real Guys!!!

HappyLiving8 Report

#87

A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?

A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?

ClaireDacloush Report

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#88

They're With Him, Alright

They're With Him, Alright

DoomerMentality1984 Report

#89

I Should Be Allowed To Pick The Oil Company I Die And Kill For!

I Should Be Allowed To Pick The Oil Company I Die And Kill For!

reddit.com Report

#90

Depression vs. Asthma

Depression vs. Asthma

TitaniumPeak Report

#91

This Always Makes Me Laugh

This Always Makes Me Laugh

atiredindian Report