Ever had a heated online argument with a stranger, only to think of the perfect comeback three days later? Well, on the internet clock, a few days might as well be an eternity, and everyone’s already moved on.
But over on r/clevercomebacks, wasting time is unheard of. With over 2 million members, this subreddit is full of sharp retorts for any situation. At Bored Panda, we’re big fans. So we’ve rounded up the best comebacks they have to offer. Keep reading, you might just find the right response to silence that next awkward comment.
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Yep May Be It Is True
The feeling of disappointment when you don’t have a clever reply on the spot actually has a name—it’s called ‘l’esprit de l’escalier’, or ‘staircase wit’. This term was coined by the 18th century French philosopher Denis Diderot in his dramatic essay, Paradox of the Actor.
The phrase comes from an incident Diderot had over dinner. “A sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument leveled against him, becomes confused and doesn’t collect his thoughts until he’s at the bottom of the stairs,” the philosopher wrote.
There’s a reason why we sometimes freeze and struggle to respond when someone says something upsetting. Our body sees it as a social danger and goes into defense mode.
“When someone says something offensive or harmful that hurts us or hurts a member of a community that’s really important to us, our nervous system can get activated,” said psychologist Kerry McBroome for Time Magazine. “The parts of the brain that are responsible for coming up with clever or witty things to say are just not online—they’re nervous and sensing a threat.”
Never Underestimate A Woman
Men, you can’t have babies. Sit down when *women’s* reproductive rights are discussed
Funny how they're so quick to stand up when the discussion turns to our reproductive organs though!?- almost as if they at contradicting themselves or something!? Lol
Laughable when women have been barred from serving in combat roles and excluded for the draft not by women but by men.
Maybe women should be the ones talking war since men have started so many throughout history for the dumbest reasons.
Since I can’t reply directly to ‘I agree with you but…’ how many queens were there in comparison to kings? Very few since the crown was passed down to the male heir usually. And it isn’t only rulers that start wars. So I imagine the percentage of women starting wars is teeny tiny. Salty’s comments stands.
Load More Replies... How about women keeping the home front running while the men were fighting? And doing without many things like certain food products, gasoline, auto tires, we have ALWAYS carried our load and then some. Oh and how about females on the battle front these days. Oh, and the female nurses and doctors and medics who cared for the wounded, sometimes perilously close to the ongoing battles? How bout that you sexist dweeb?
War is fought by soldiers, and suffered by civillians. We all should care
Don't know who to salute first : Kim Olson or @ Kristy Marion...... 👏👏 You're both awesome....
Also, there hasn't been a draft in several generations now so what is he whining about?
It gets dumber. Stefan Molyneux is not American - he's Irish-Canadian. Canada has had conscription exactly twice, in WWI and WWII. The Republic of Ireland has never had it. Meanwhile, women *are* conscripted in several countries around the world - notably Israel and Norway, where all adults are required to serve. So in other words, plenty of women are at far greater risk of being drafted than he is.
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I would like to say a lot of women I met who has served in the army had more ba11s then the men, I kid you not, not to mention many countries including russia has proven women can fight as well maybe even better then men.
Let's see... Racist, xenophobic, transphobic, misogynistic manosphere moron.
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Stefan Molyneux is the creepiest sob that I've ever had the misfortune of encountering on twitter.
Women aren't drafted, but they do volunteer. And a howitzer barrage landing at your feet has the same effect whether you were drafted or volunteer.
What a disgusting statement from the man, I believe he was born of woman...
Women and children die in Wars too. We have a right to be heard when War is discussed.
Women want to be equal until it comes to doing something too tasteful, then they don't wanna do it. Well ladies, Congress is currently weighing adding women to the US military draft. So what's going to come to soon, is put up or shut up
Great idea-sign us up. It's MEN that have always had a problem with women serving-so look to yourselves if you want to be resentful about something.
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Free Palestine!! Over 200 000 palestinians are believed to have been murdered in the last 8 months.
I understand your comment, but it is irrelevant to the post. Please, if you don’t want to be downvoted, post a relevant comment.
Load More Replies... The whataboutism here is off the charts spectacular. Downvote away fuzzballs.
Found It On Twitter. Hope I Am Not Too Late
Of course, some folks are naturally good at throwing verbal punches and do so whenever they can. But if you need some pointers in that area, blogger and podcaster Myke Macapinlac has tips on how to be more quick-witted and funny.
According to him, one of the first things you should learn is how to stay present in the moment. “Catch yourself when you’re ruminating and remind yourself to slow down your breathing. By doing so, you’ll be able to relax your body and bring yourself back to your current situation,” he advises.
Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him
Just Another Reason To Keep My Purple Hair
If you’re having a conversation, Myke suggests really focusing on what the other person is saying. “It’s much easier to come up with the right things to say when you’re actually listening,” he notes.
“Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”
They Don't Give A Damn
I genuinely admire anyone that chooses to join the military to protect their country, however the idolising of Veterans in America never sits well with me. When you stir up patriotism, and putting civil servants on pedestals and paying such a low minimum wage that joining the armed forces is the only way out, yet shoe no care for returning and ex serviceman, except for give them 10% discounts everywhere and a “thank you for your service”, well, it seems to be like big business and corporations are involved somewhere,
Another key tip is to stop caring so much. Macapinlac points out, “Most individuals who struggle socially think that all eyes are on them. They’re so afraid of being judged by others that’s why they stifle their personality. To avoid embarrassing themselves, they just remain quiet.”
“Even if you say something silly, I can assure you that people would’ve forgotten about you by the time they get home”. By letting go of this fear, you’ll be more relaxed, which will help you make clever remarks faster.
What A Good Reply
Keep Your Stick On The Ice
Reminds me of that old joke: "We asked people how they view lesbian relationships. The question had to be rephrased after majority of responders answered 'in high definition'."
Love This Guy
Sometimes it’s good to prepare in advance. “Get a piece of paper and take the time to reflect. Think of previous situations where you wanted to say something clever but you weren’t able to. And then, brainstorm some good comebacks that you could’ve said,” the blogger recommends.
I Don’t Care If Repost Made Me Laugh
Not Be A Baby Machine
Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love
It’s also important to manage your emotions. When you’re calm and collected, you come across as more confident. Macapinlac encourages trying out meditation and journaling to be more mindful.
“[This] will allow you to control the way you think. You’ll be able to identify and reframe your limiting beliefs. This will help you become less reactive, especially during stressful moments”.
Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe
That's pretty much the best explanation of why we wore face masks I've ever seen.
Room Temperature IQ
Don’t forget to take inspiration from others. “What better way to improve your sense of humor than by watching more comedy shows and stand-up routines,” Myke says. “Pay close attention to [the comedian’s] material. Notice the timing and delivery of the joke. When something amuses you, ask yourself why by taking a moment to analyze it”.
Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?
The weakest minds need someone, anyone, to look down on for no reason.
Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile
Why Don't You Stand Up For Yourself?
However, if you’re around someone you want to build a lasting relationship with, be considerate and don’t say things that could ruin someone’s day. “If you want to learn how to be witty and funny, always leave people better than before you met them.”
Some Good Luck!
Thank You Andy Wang!
It Was Social Distancing Haha
I thought dinosaurs were just a prank of Satan's, since the world is only 6000 years old.
Lastly, be patient with yourself and make an effort to get out of your comfort zone. “The more you practice, the better you’ll be at bantering with people,” Myke concludes.
Definitely Atheists That Do This
I Understand Completely
Burning people alive? Yep, that sounds exactly like organized religion to me! Leave people alone when they're not of your faith? Nope! Gotta convert them! Oh, wait, they're unwilling to be converted? Better kill them!
Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It
Goodwill does this... just one more reason to not take your business there.
So next time, we hope you have the confidence and quick wit to deliver that perfect comeback. Stay sharp!
They Also Don't Come In Exciting Anime
It could be cool if they do. Imagine hiking and then something jump from a tree branch yelling Squiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirel !!!
Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???
British Museum
Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile
Look Before You Leap
God gave us brains so we could use them. If He didn't want us to learn how to prevent and cure disease, how to enhance the lives of the disabled, to fix what is broken, He wouldn't have given us brains!
I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before
Stealing The Rainbow
Separate Payments
Big Footprints To Fill
Education Is Vitally Important, After All
Bless This Woman
Why Would They Need To Am I Rite?
I do to get groceries without a large crowd and lines.Also allergic to the sun.
People Really Live In Their Own Little Bubbles
Comeback
Imagine that person writing that respone and thinking:"There. Clown shoes. The perfect analogy! Let's see them coming back from that one!"
Comeback
Comeback
The hymen can tear without sexual activity. Sometimes you’re not even born with it. The hymen isn’t like one of those freshness seals
Simple Math To Hard
Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?
Why don"t they go full amish and live like old pioneers, these stupid just want the modern world with our way to see the world. How crazy.
True Perfection Has Been Achieved
Comeback
I Hate Anti-Maskers
Old But Gold
Useless Trees
Note: this post originally had 91 images. It’s been shortened to the top 51 images based on user votes.
Again? Pretty sure all of these were included the last time this list was posted.
Why do you think this site is called Bored panda. To get bored!
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Some are really great and it was funny even if i knew them, but yeah that was a lot of repost, most of these date from 2020 covid stuff
Nothing funny has happened since then. It is known 😆
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Wow Oleksandra Kyryliuk, what a treasure trove of Covid-era funny posts. So refreshing. May I suggest some Y2K humour for your next hit article?
Agreed, but not the exact same ones again, please.
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I'm starting to believe that all these BP 'writers' are just AI making up fake bios and scraping old post, other sites putting together stuff that kinda fits into a grouping that will certainly change its title at LEAST once - if not more as people point out the title doesn't quite fit.
So the Asian name W'a.n,g needs to be censored. Pretty sure that is racist.
Tonight is the night my BP account is burned to the ground.
Again? Pretty sure all of these were included the last time this list was posted.
Why do you think this site is called Bored panda. To get bored!
Load More Replies... Some are really great and it was funny even if i knew them, but yeah that was a lot of repost, most of these date from 2020 covid stuff
Nothing funny has happened since then. It is known 😆
Load More Replies... Wow Oleksandra Kyryliuk, what a treasure trove of Covid-era funny posts. So refreshing. May I suggest some Y2K humour for your next hit article?
Agreed, but not the exact same ones again, please.
Load More Replies... I'm starting to believe that all these BP 'writers' are just AI making up fake bios and scraping old post, other sites putting together stuff that kinda fits into a grouping that will certainly change its title at LEAST once - if not more as people point out the title doesn't quite fit.
So the Asian name W'a.n,g needs to be censored. Pretty sure that is racist.
Tonight is the night my BP account is burned to the ground.
