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Ever had a heated online argument with a stranger, only to think of the perfect comeback three days later? Well, on the internet clock, a few days might as well be an eternity, and everyone’s already moved on.

But over on r/clevercomebacks, wasting time is unheard of. With over 2 million members, this subreddit is full of sharp retorts for any situation. At Bored Panda, we’re big fans. So we’ve rounded up the best comebacks they have to offer. Keep reading, you might just find the right response to silence that next awkward comment.

#1

Yep May Be It Is True

Yep May Be It Is True

johnmory Report

The feeling of disappointment when you don’t have a clever reply on the spot actually has a name—it’s called ‘l’esprit de l’escalier’, or ‘staircase wit’. This term was coined by the 18th century French philosopher Denis Diderot in his dramatic essay, Paradox of the Actor.

The phrase comes from an incident Diderot had over dinner. “A sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument leveled against him, becomes confused and doesn’t collect his thoughts until he’s at the bottom of the stairs,” the philosopher wrote.

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    #2

    Do You Have One?

    Do You Have One?

    Comfortablejack Report

    There’s a reason why we sometimes freeze and struggle to respond when someone says something upsetting. Our body sees it as a social danger and goes into defense mode.

    “When someone says something offensive or harmful that hurts us or hurts a member of a community that’s really important to us, our nervous system can get activated,” said psychologist Kerry McBroome for Time Magazine. “The parts of the brain that are responsible for coming up with clever or witty things to say are just not online—they’re nervous and sensing a threat.”

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    #3

    Never Underestimate A Woman

    Never Underestimate A Woman

    Dry-Net Report

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    Kristy Marion
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Men, you can’t have babies. Sit down when *women’s* reproductive rights are discussed

    Paul C.
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice one Kristy, that's not a burn, that's more like an inferno!😎

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    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guys. You can't be pregnant. Sit down when abortion is discussed.

    Anna Stephenson
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Funny how they're so quick to stand up when the discussion turns to our reproductive organs though!?- almost as if they at contradicting themselves or something!? Lol

    Sprouted Tater
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about women keeping the home front running while the men were fighting? And doing without many things like certain food products, gasoline, auto tires, we have ALWAYS carried our load and then some. Oh and how about females on the battle front these days. Oh, and the female nurses and doctors and medics who cared for the wounded, sometimes perilously close to the ongoing battles? How bout that you sexist dweeb?

    Cora Van der Gaag
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And with no opportunity to defend themselves because they (couldn’t) bear weapons.

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    Littlebunnyfufu
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Laughable when women have been barred from serving in combat roles and excluded for the draft not by women but by men.

    Salty.Hag
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe women should be the ones talking war since men have started so many throughout history for the dumbest reasons.

    Anna Drever
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Since I can’t reply directly to ‘I agree with you but…’ how many queens were there in comparison to kings? Very few since the crown was passed down to the male heir usually. And it isn’t only rulers that start wars. So I imagine the percentage of women starting wars is teeny tiny. Salty’s comments stands.

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    Valek Fermiga
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't know who to salute first : Kim Olson or @ Kristy Marion...... 👏👏 You're both awesome....

    Cyndielouwhoo
    Community Member
    5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, there hasn't been a draft in several generations now so what is he whining about?

    IndigoViolent
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It gets dumber. Stefan Molyneux is not American - he's Irish-Canadian. Canada has had conscription exactly twice, in WWI and WWII. The Republic of Ireland has never had it. Meanwhile, women *are* conscripted in several countries around the world - notably Israel and Norway, where all adults are required to serve. So in other words, plenty of women are at far greater risk of being drafted than he is.

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    Purple_bio
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would like to say a lot of women I met who has served in the army had more ba11s then the men, I kid you not, not to mention many countries including russia has proven women can fight as well maybe even better then men.

    Rayne OfSalt
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stefan Molyneux is the creepiest sob that I've ever had the misfortune of encountering on twitter.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Women aren't drafted, but they do volunteer. And a howitzer barrage landing at your feet has the same effect whether you were drafted or volunteer.

    Bobby
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have used this argument against some of my very anti-abortion family members

    Iridian
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Interesting, as women's taxes pay for that ish the same as men's taxes.

    David Herz
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a disgusting statement from the man, I believe he was born of woman...

    Carl Sidd
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do they now say, shut up and sit down Colonel? Probably not.

    Lena Flising
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Women and children die in Wars too. We have a right to be heard when War is discussed.

    C.O. Shea
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop thanking me for my volunteered military duty and bring back the draft buddy boy!

    DeeDee M
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one caused me to villian laugh. Love her for saying that!

    Moo
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All these men talking as if they've been drafted, or will ever get drafted-

    Steven Meyer
    Community Member
    5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Women want to be equal until it comes to doing something too tasteful, then they don't wanna do it. Well ladies, Congress is currently weighing adding women to the US military draft. So what's going to come to soon, is put up or shut up

    Lynda Nesbitt
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great idea-sign us up. It's MEN that have always had a problem with women serving-so look to yourselves if you want to be resentful about something.

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    Ellisdogs
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Free Palestine!! Over 200 000 palestinians are believed to have been murdered in the last 8 months.

    jplanets🤍
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I understand your comment, but it is irrelevant to the post. Please, if you don’t want to be downvoted, post a relevant comment.

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    #4

    Found It On Twitter. Hope I Am Not Too Late

    Found It On Twitter. Hope I Am Not Too Late

    zzuhruf Report

    Of course, some folks are naturally good at throwing verbal punches and do so whenever they can. But if you need some pointers in that area, blogger and podcaster Myke Macapinlac has tips on how to be more quick-witted and funny.

    According to him, one of the first things you should learn is how to stay present in the moment. “Catch yourself when you’re ruminating and remind yourself to slow down your breathing. By doing so, you’ll be able to relax your body and bring yourself back to your current situation,” he advises.



    #5

    Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him

    Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him

    The_Jib Report

    #6

    Just Another Reason To Keep My Purple Hair

    Just Another Reason To Keep My Purple Hair

    pedragono Report

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    If you’re having a conversation, Myke suggests really focusing on what the other person is saying. “It’s much easier to come up with the right things to say when you’re actually listening,” he notes.

    #7

    “Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”

    “Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”

    reddit.com Report

    #8

    They Don't Give A Damn

    They Don't Give A Damn

    blaze_uchiha999 Report

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    #9

    Well Then Rip

    Well Then Rip

    ConteStefanon Report

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    Another key tip is to stop caring so much. Macapinlac points out, “Most individuals who struggle socially think that all eyes are on them. They’re so afraid of being judged by others that’s why they stifle their personality. To avoid embarrassing themselves, they just remain quiet.”

    “Even if you say something silly, I can assure you that people would’ve forgotten about you by the time they get home”. By letting go of this fear, you’ll be more relaxed, which will help you make clever remarks faster.

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    #10

    What A Good Reply

    What A Good Reply

    Comfortablejack Report

    #11

    Keep Your Stick On The Ice

    Keep Your Stick On The Ice

    Master1718 Report

    #12

    Love This Guy

    Love This Guy

    humanitalian Report

    Sometimes it’s good to prepare in advance. “Get a piece of paper and take the time to reflect. Think of previous situations where you wanted to say something clever but you weren’t able to. And then, brainstorm some good comebacks that you could’ve said,” the blogger recommends.


    #13

    I Don’t Care If Repost Made Me Laugh

    I Don’t Care If Repost Made Me Laugh

    iamafailedasian Report

    #14

    Not Be A Baby Machine

    Not Be A Baby Machine

    lucynyu13 Report

    #15

    Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

    Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

    BelleAriel Report

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    It’s also important to manage your emotions. When you’re calm and collected, you come across as more confident. Macapinlac encourages trying out meditation and journaling to be more mindful.

    “[This] will allow you to control the way you think. You’ll be able to identify and reframe your limiting beliefs.
This will help you become less reactive, especially during stressful moments”.

    #16

    Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe

    Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe

    themaskedvillain Report

    #17

    You're The Problem

    You're The Problem

    Cereal_killer03 Report

    #18

    Room Temperature IQ

    Room Temperature IQ

    reddit.com Report

    Don’t forget to take inspiration from others. “What better way to improve your sense of humor than by watching more comedy shows and stand-up routines,” Myke says. “Pay close attention to [the comedian’s] material. Notice the timing and delivery of the joke. When something amuses you, ask yourself why by taking a moment to analyze it”.

    #19

    Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?

    Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?

    OldFingerman Report

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    #20

    Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile

    Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile

    reddit.com Report

    #21

    Why Don't You Stand Up For Yourself?

    Why Don't You Stand Up For Yourself?

    Thalassolykos Report

    However, if you’re around someone you want to build a lasting relationship with, be considerate and don’t say things that could ruin someone’s day. “If you want to learn how to be witty and funny, always leave people better than before you met them.”

    #22

    Some Good Luck!

    Some Good Luck!

    FitzRowe Report

    #23

    Thank You Andy Wang!

    Thank You Andy Wang!

    ykafia Report

    #24

    It Was Social Distancing Haha

    It Was Social Distancing Haha

    BelleAriel Report

    Lastly, be patient with yourself and make an effort to get out of your comfort zone. “The more you practice, the better you’ll be at bantering with people,” Myke concludes.

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    #25

    Definitely Atheists That Do This

    Definitely Atheists That Do This

    Jet_The_Tabaxi Report

    #26

    I Understand Completely

    I Understand Completely

    My_Memes_Will_Cure_U Report

    #27

    Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

    Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

    free-whitebird Report

    So next time, we hope you have the confidence and quick wit to deliver that perfect comeback. Stay sharp!

    #28

    They Also Don't Come In Exciting Anime

    They Also Don't Come In Exciting Anime

    TheRikari Report

    #29

    Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???

    Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???

    FitzRowe Report

    #30

    British Museum

    British Museum

    athrvpatil Report

    #31

    Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile

    Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile

    twinkletoes_44 Report

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    #32

    Look Before You Leap

    Look Before You Leap

    reddit.com Report

    #33

    I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before

    I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before

    reddit.com Report

    #34

    Stealing The Rainbow

    Stealing The Rainbow

    BuickBobFL Report

    #35

    Separate Payments

    Separate Payments

    memezzer Report

    #36

    Big Footprints To Fill

    Big Footprints To Fill

    mysteresc Report

    #37

    Education Is Vitally Important, After All

    Education Is Vitally Important, After All

    Smitherd Report

    #38

    Bless This Woman

    Bless This Woman

    sp0okygorl Report

    #39

    Why Would They Need To Am I Rite?

    Why Would They Need To Am I Rite?

    LordMouse121 Report

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    #40

    People Really Live In Their Own Little Bubbles

    People Really Live In Their Own Little Bubbles

    hayashiiiii Report

    #41

    Comeback

    Comeback

    clevcomebacks Report

    #42

    Comeback

    Comeback

    clevcomebacks Report

    #43

    Comeback

    Comeback

    clevcomebacks Report

    #44

    Simple Math To Hard

    Simple Math To Hard

    uncle_russell_90 Report

    #45

    Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?

    Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?

    reddit.com Report

    #46

    True Perfection Has Been Achieved

    True Perfection Has Been Achieved

    ekiechi Report

    #47

    Comeback

    Comeback

    clevcomebacks Report

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    #48

    Illegal Plants

    Illegal Plants

    YoloForJesusChrist Report

    #49

    I Hate Anti-Maskers

    I Hate Anti-Maskers

    CatPizza838 Report

    #50

    Old But Gold

    Old But Gold

    Y_Z_P Report

    #51

    Useless Trees

    Useless Trees

    Kennydoe Report

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    #52

    Atheists, Christians And Cats

    Atheists, Christians And Cats

    Bubble_Babe_0o0o0o Report

    #53

    Both Magnus Carlsen And I Can Play Chess

    Both Magnus Carlsen And I Can Play Chess

    toure Report

    #54

    Cry Me A River That Flows 5 M/S²

    Cry Me A River That Flows 5 M/S²

    Fishylips Report

    #55

    Comeback

    Comeback

    clevcomebacks Report

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    #56

    Not Mine But On Point

    Not Mine But On Point

    justinpwheeler Report

    #57

    Common Sense Is Really Rare These Days

    Common Sense Is Really Rare These Days

    productivitybeginner Report

    #58

    Morning Coffee vs. Morning People

    Morning Coffee vs. Morning People

    NJmaker Report

    #59

    Bill Burr Everybody

    Bill Burr Everybody

    JustDanLee87 Report

    #60

    Elite Finish

    Elite Finish

    MythicalBeast263 Report

    #61

    That's A Good Proof

    That's A Good Proof

    ekmadeye Report

    #62

    Comeback

    Comeback

    clevcomebacks Report

    #63

    Philip Brought A Tank In A Knife Fight

    Philip Brought A Tank In A Knife Fight

    whymynamedoesnotfi Report

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    #64

    "Markets Unable To Adapt To New Generation Of Consumers"

    "Markets Unable To Adapt To New Generation Of Consumers"

    k*llHACKS Report

    #65

    So Easy To Say

    So Easy To Say

    unfazed_jedi Report

    #66

    Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control

    Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control

    ducassen4534 Report

    #67

    They Must Have Had A Religious Exemption

    They Must Have Had A Religious Exemption

    Jojojoost010 Report

    #68

    Another Reason To Love The Beatles

    Another Reason To Love The Beatles

    simwalkedaway Report

    #69

    Better Hope His House Doesn't Catch On Fire!

    Better Hope His House Doesn't Catch On Fire!

    KingJak0b Report

    #70

    Damn... Guess My Opinion Is Invalid

    Damn... Guess My Opinion Is Invalid

    reddit.com Report

    #71

    That’s My Gender

    That’s My Gender

    reddit.com Report

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    #72

    The Only Reasonable Response

    The Only Reasonable Response

    LargeSackOfNuts Report

    #73

    Got Roasted By A Police Twitter

    Got Roasted By A Police Twitter

    A_Tired_Indian Report

    #74

    Simple, Yet Effective

    Simple, Yet Effective

    Captain_Keyboard_Man Report

    #75

    When You Get Shot Down By Facts

    When You Get Shot Down By Facts

    reddit.com Report

    #76

    I Mean They've Got A Good Point

    I Mean They've Got A Good Point

    FrothyGuinness Report

    #77

    She's Baaaad

    She's Baaaad

    reddit.com Report

    #78

    Maybe I Am Karen?

    Maybe I Am Karen?

    reddit.com Report

    #79

    That Makes Sense

    That Makes Sense

    TrulyImpress86 Report

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    #80

    The Greatest Genius Of Our Time

    The Greatest Genius Of Our Time

    JewelerDear9233 Report

    #81

    German History Lesson

    German History Lesson

    frncscbtncrt Report

    #82

    He's Not Wrong

    He's Not Wrong

    vertigno Report

    #83

    Most Of Us Are Too

    Most Of Us Are Too

    PLASMABOLT111 Report

    #84

    Careful What You Say

    Careful What You Say

    DutchSapphire Report

    #85

    He Makes A Good Point

    He Makes A Good Point

    SadlysoulReport Report

    #86

    Climate Change Is Not Real Guys!!!

    Climate Change Is Not Real Guys!!!

    HappyLiving8 Report

    #87

    A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?

    A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?

    ClaireDacloush Report

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    #88

    They're With Him, Alright

    They're With Him, Alright

    DoomerMentality1984 Report

    #89

    I Should Be Allowed To Pick The Oil Company I Die And Kill For!

    I Should Be Allowed To Pick The Oil Company I Die And Kill For!

    reddit.com Report

    #90

    Depression vs. Asthma

    Depression vs. Asthma

    TitaniumPeak Report

    #91

    This Always Makes Me Laugh

    This Always Makes Me Laugh

    atiredindian Report