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Ever had a heated online argument with a stranger, only to think of the perfect comeback three days later? Well, on the internet clock, a few days might as well be an eternity, and everyone’s already moved on.
But over on r/clevercomebacks, wasting time is unheard of. With over 2 million members, this subreddit is full of sharp retorts for any situation. At Bored Panda, we’re big fans. So we’ve rounded up the best comebacks they have to offer. Keep reading, you might just find the right response to silence that next awkward comment.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Yep May Be It Is True
The feeling of disappointment when you don’t have a clever reply on the spot actually has a name—it’s called ‘l’esprit de l’escalier’, or ‘staircase wit’. This term was coined by the 18th century French philosopher Denis Diderot in his dramatic essay, Paradox of the Actor.
The phrase comes from an incident Diderot had over dinner. “A sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument leveled against him, becomes confused and doesn’t collect his thoughts until he’s at the bottom of the stairs,” the philosopher wrote.
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There’s a reason why we sometimes freeze and struggle to respond when someone says something upsetting. Our body sees it as a social danger and goes into defense mode.
“When someone says something offensive or harmful that hurts us or hurts a member of a community that’s really important to us, our nervous system can get activated,” said psychologist Kerry McBroome for Time Magazine. “The parts of the brain that are responsible for coming up with clever or witty things to say are just not online—they’re nervous and sensing a threat.”
#3
Never Underestimate A Woman
Kristy Marion 5 months ago
Men, you can’t have babies. Sit down when *women’s* reproductive rights are discussed
#4
Found It On Twitter. Hope I Am Not Too Late
Of course, some folks are naturally good at throwing verbal punches and do so whenever they can. But if you need some pointers in that area, blogger and podcaster Myke Macapinlac has tips on how to be more quick-witted and funny.
According to him, one of the first things you should learn is how to stay present in the moment. “Catch yourself when you’re ruminating and remind yourself to slow down your breathing. By doing so, you’ll be able to relax your body and bring yourself back to your current situation,” he advises.
#5
Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him
#6
Just Another Reason To Keep My Purple Hair
If you’re having a conversation, Myke suggests really focusing on what the other person is saying. “It’s much easier to come up with the right things to say when you’re actually listening,” he notes.
#7
“Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”
Verena 5 months ago
99% of the US people are immigrants or descendants from immigrants, who either came to the US for a better life for themselves and their kids; or because they were criminals.
GEA 5 months ago
Third world is an economic term and doesn't refer to the paucity of any country or person. If this person doesn't know this, she is not intelligent enough to be bandying the term about as an intended insult. Another Trumpanzee, I take it?
Chuckle Berry 5 months ago
Waive that flag Lauren, just like a twice impeach 34 count convicted felon tells you. Don't read your history books about fascist and nationalist christian movements that cost the world millions of children and parents
Regina Holt 5 months ago
She should look into a mirror to see someone who can't assimilate to be civil.
TotallyNOTAFox 5 months ago (edited)
Given Lauren is from Germany (according to her @name) she probably refers to countries in the Middle East and Africa without considering what else also counts as Third World. Asians and South Americans don't cause any trouble here and are infact quite welcomed by the society
Ellie Ahmed 5 months ago (edited)
My husband is a Middle Eastern immigrant who came to Australia as a child. He has a PhD in clinical psychology and is a registered child psychologist with a specialty in working with children with emotional dysregulation. His father is a diabetes educator, and when his mother was still alive she ran a social enterprise that helped people with barriers to employment to develop work skills. What have you done?
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Purple_bio 5 months ago (edited)
here's a example that might blow your mind, most of the greatest minds were immagrants who moved to first world countries or another country Albert Einstein – One of the world's most famous scientists, German-Jewish refugee. Alexander Grothendieck – Mathematician, German-Jewish refugee. Robert Fano – Physicist, Italian-Jewish refugee. not to mention there is no, "first world country" since every country is messed up, bloody hell, America is now classified as a 3rd world country by the U.N standards for how they treat their people https://theconversation.com/us-is-becoming-a-developing-country-on-global-rankings-that-measure-democracy-inequality-190486
Lynda Nesbitt 5 months ago
If America is a third world country based upon "how it treats its people" then third world countries have improved a hell of a lot.
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Ed Brancheau 5 months ago
99.9% of people don't even know the true meaning of the term "Third World" country. It has nothing to do with whether a country is rich or poor. It means that they were not allied with the Capitalist bloc after WWII or the Communist bloc.
EmAdoresHerKats🇮🇪🇩🇿🇵🇸 5 months ago
My god how ignorant is she! Talking about people like they are animals. What an absolute biitch!
Nitka Tsar 5 months ago (edited)
„civil societies“ how racist can you get? …. But wait… isn‘t the US considered a „3rd world country“ now? (I‘m just joking about HER in particular, don‘t hate me please)
Ronald Robin 5 months ago
Kind of depends actually. My parents are Indian and they still don't get English 💀
Roan The Demon Kitty 5 months ago
Fun Fact: the term "Third World" in fact originated during the cold war, a third world country was a country that did not ally themselves with either NATO (1st world) or The Warsaw Pact (2nd world) ... these countries included countries such as Ireland, Finland and Sweden. It is true that a lot of poorer countries were unallied with either side (most of africa and south asia for example) however. But that means nothing about how civil a place is. Also, Vietnam was a "2nd world" country. >.>
Alexandra Nara 5 months ago (edited)
Well she's got a point.With this phd he is obviously no part of her society. But why should he settle for less ??
Lena Flising 5 months ago
If the US goes much further down the "freedom only for the rich", non-affordable healthcare, way, you will soon become a third-world nation. Does that mean you won't be able to assimilate into properly civil societies, like Europe, Japan or South Korea?
Hobby Hopper 5 months ago
Immigrants shouldn't have to "assimilate". Our society is made richer for being a diverse melting pot, not trying to force it into a narrow-minded image of what it "should" be.
Hobby Hopper 5 months ago
Someone downvoted this? Wow, I found the xenophobic racist.
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Sprouted Tater 5 months ago
I applaud you and all other folks who even still want to come here to the mess that is called USA. Please someone, save us from the rabid right!
Jill Taylor 5 months ago
I think you meant to refer to him as Dr. Nguyen, right?
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#8
They Don't Give A Damn
Kristy Marion 5 months ago
I genuinely admire anyone that chooses to join the military to protect their country, however the idolising of Veterans in America never sits well with me. When you stir up patriotism, and putting civil servants on pedestals and paying such a low minimum wage that joining the armed forces is the only way out, yet shoe no care for returning and ex serviceman, except for give them 10% discounts everywhere and a “thank you for your service”, well, it seems to be like big business and corporations are involved somewhere,
#9
Well Then Rip
Another key tip is to stop caring so much. Macapinlac points out, “Most individuals who struggle socially think that all eyes are on them. They’re so afraid of being judged by others that’s why they stifle their personality. To avoid embarrassing themselves, they just remain quiet.”
“Even if you say something silly, I can assure you that people would’ve forgotten about you by the time they get home”. By letting go of this fear, you’ll be more relaxed, which will help you make clever remarks faster.
#10
What A Good Reply
#11
Keep Your Stick On The Ice
Luke Branwen 5 months ago
Reminds me of that old joke: "We asked people how they view lesbian relationships. The question had to be rephrased after majority of responders answered 'in high definition'."
#12
Love This Guy
Sometimes it’s good to prepare in advance. “Get a piece of paper and take the time to reflect. Think of previous situations where you wanted to say something clever but you weren’t able to. And then, brainstorm some good comebacks that you could’ve said,” the blogger recommends.
#13
I Don’t Care If Repost Made Me Laugh
#14
Not Be A Baby Machine
#15
Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love
It’s also important to manage your emotions. When you’re calm and collected, you come across as more confident. Macapinlac encourages trying out meditation and journaling to be more mindful.
“[This] will allow you to control the way you think. You’ll be able to identify and reframe your limiting beliefs. This will help you become less reactive, especially during stressful moments”.
#16
Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe
james stevenson 5 months ago (edited)
That's pretty much the best explanation of why we wore face masks I've ever seen.
#17
You're The Problem
#18
Room Temperature IQ
Don’t forget to take inspiration from others. “What better way to improve your sense of humor than by watching more comedy shows and stand-up routines,” Myke says. “Pay close attention to [the comedian’s] material. Notice the timing and delivery of the joke. When something amuses you, ask yourself why by taking a moment to analyze it”.
#19
Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?
General Anaesthesia 5 months ago
The weakest minds need someone, anyone, to look down on for no reason.
#20
Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile
araT sdrawkcaB 5 months ago
And forgetting your kids birthday 3 years running? I’m adopting your son. You’re fired.
#21
Why Don't You Stand Up For Yourself?
However, if you’re around someone you want to build a lasting relationship with, be considerate and don’t say things that could ruin someone’s day. “If you want to learn how to be witty and funny, always leave people better than before you met them.”
#22
Some Good Luck!
#23
Thank You Andy Wang!
#24
It Was Social Distancing Haha
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 5 months ago
I thought dinosaurs were just a prank of Satan's, since the world is only 6000 years old.
Lastly, be patient with yourself and make an effort to get out of your comfort zone. “The more you practice, the better you’ll be at bantering with people,” Myke concludes.
#25
Definitely Atheists That Do This
Bernd Herbert 5 months ago
I'm really annoyed by all those atheistic phrases people are using every day. Like "For nothing's sake" or "My Notthing!" and the ever present "Thank nothing!"
#26
I Understand Completely
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
Burning people alive? Yep, that sounds exactly like organized religion to me! Leave people alone when they're not of your faith? Nope! Gotta convert them! Oh, wait, they're unwilling to be converted? Better kill them!
#27
Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It
The.Butterfly.Effect.530 5 months ago
Goodwill does this... just one more reason to not take your business there.
So next time, we hope you have the confidence and quick wit to deliver that perfect comeback. Stay sharp!
#28
They Also Don't Come In Exciting Anime
Jack Burton 5 months ago
It could be cool if they do. Imagine hiking and then something jump from a tree branch yelling Squiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirel !!!
#29
Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???
#30
British Museum
#31
Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile
#32
Look Before You Leap
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 5 months ago
God gave us brains so we could use them. If He didn't want us to learn how to prevent and cure disease, how to enhance the lives of the disabled, to fix what is broken, He wouldn't have given us brains!
#33
I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before
#34
Stealing The Rainbow
#35
Separate Payments
#36
Big Footprints To Fill
#37
Education Is Vitally Important, After All
detective miller's hat 5 months ago
I have met brick walls that are more sentient than Marjorie Taylor Greene.
#38
Bless This Woman
#39
Why Would They Need To Am I Rite?
Anya Beboop 5 months ago (edited)
I do to get groceries without a large crowd and lines.Also allergic to the sun.
#40
People Really Live In Their Own Little Bubbles
#41
Comeback
Bernd Herbert 5 months ago (edited)
Imagine that person writing that respone and thinking:"There. Clown shoes. The perfect analogy! Let's see them coming back from that one!"
#42
Comeback
#43
Comeback
Stardust she/her 5 months ago
The hymen can tear without sexual activity. Sometimes you’re not even born with it. The hymen isn’t like one of those freshness seals
#44
Simple Math To Hard
#45
Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?
Jack Burton 5 months ago
Why don"t they go full amish and live like old pioneers, these stupid just want the modern world with our way to see the world. How crazy.
#46
True Perfection Has Been Achieved
#47
Comeback
Little Wonder 5 months ago
I saw a photo of one of those lockdown rhymes they're teaching kindergarten kids in case of active shooter, and someone replied "Sure, we have to be prepared for any natural disaster" and the mere fact this person considers an active shooter to be an unavoidable natural disaster says a LOT about the mindset of a lot of (not all of) Americans.
#49
I Hate Anti-Maskers
#50
Old But Gold
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Ace 5 months ago
Again? Pretty sure all of these were included the last time this list was posted.
Vincent Bevort 5 months ago
Why do you think this site is called Bored panda. To get bored!
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Jack Burton 5 months ago
Some are really great and it was funny even if i knew them, but yeah that was a lot of repost, most of these date from 2020 covid stuff
CanadianDimes 5 months ago
Nothing funny has happened since then. It is known 😆
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Jeroen de Wijn 5 months ago
Wow Oleksandra Kyryliuk, what a treasure trove of Covid-era funny posts. So refreshing. May I suggest some Y2K humour for your next hit article?
Multa Nocte 5 months ago
Agreed, but not the exact same ones again, please.
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Kare Deter 5 months ago
I'm starting to believe that all these BP 'writers' are just AI making up fake bios and scraping old post, other sites putting together stuff that kinda fits into a grouping that will certainly change its title at LEAST once - if not more as people point out the title doesn't quite fit.
StankleBerry 5 months ago (edited)
So the Asian name W'a.n,g needs to be censored. Pretty sure that is racist.
Ace 5 months ago
Again? Pretty sure all of these were included the last time this list was posted.
Vincent Bevort 5 months ago
Why do you think this site is called Bored panda. To get bored!
Load More Replies... Jack Burton 5 months ago
Some are really great and it was funny even if i knew them, but yeah that was a lot of repost, most of these date from 2020 covid stuff
CanadianDimes 5 months ago
Nothing funny has happened since then. It is known 😆
Load More Replies... Jeroen de Wijn 5 months ago
Wow Oleksandra Kyryliuk, what a treasure trove of Covid-era funny posts. So refreshing. May I suggest some Y2K humour for your next hit article?
Multa Nocte 5 months ago
Agreed, but not the exact same ones again, please.
Load More Replies... Kare Deter 5 months ago
I'm starting to believe that all these BP 'writers' are just AI making up fake bios and scraping old post, other sites putting together stuff that kinda fits into a grouping that will certainly change its title at LEAST once - if not more as people point out the title doesn't quite fit.
StankleBerry 5 months ago (edited)
So the Asian name W'a.n,g needs to be censored. Pretty sure that is racist.
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