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Ever had a heated online argument with a stranger, only to think of the perfect comeback three days later? Well, on the internet clock, a few days might as well be an eternity, and everyone’s already moved on.

But over on r/clevercomebacks, wasting time is unheard of. With over 2 million members, this subreddit is full of sharp retorts for any situation. At Bored Panda, we’re big fans. So we’ve rounded up the best comebacks they have to offer. Keep reading, you might just find the right response to silence that next awkward comment.

The feeling of disappointment when you don’t have a clever reply on the spot actually has a name—it’s called ‘l’esprit de l’escalier’, or ‘staircase wit’. This term was coined by the 18th century French philosopher Denis Diderot in his dramatic essay, Paradox of the Actor.

The phrase comes from an incident Diderot had over dinner. “A sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument leveled against him, becomes confused and doesn’t collect his thoughts until he’s at the bottom of the stairs,” the philosopher wrote.

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    There’s a reason why we sometimes freeze and struggle to respond when someone says something upsetting. Our body sees it as a social danger and goes into defense mode.

    “When someone says something offensive or harmful that hurts us or hurts a member of a community that’s really important to us, our nervous system can get activated,” said psychologist Kerry McBroome for Time Magazine. “The parts of the brain that are responsible for coming up with clever or witty things to say are just not online—they’re nervous and sensing a threat.”

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    #3

    Never Underestimate A Woman

    Never Underestimate A Woman

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    Kristy Marion
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Men, you can’t have babies. Sit down when *women’s* reproductive rights are discussed

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    Of course, some folks are naturally good at throwing verbal punches and do so whenever they can. But if you need some pointers in that area, blogger and podcaster Myke Macapinlac has tips on how to be more quick-witted and funny.

    According to him, one of the first things you should learn is how to stay present in the moment. “Catch yourself when you’re ruminating and remind yourself to slow down your breathing. By doing so, you’ll be able to relax your body and bring yourself back to your current situation,” he advises.



    #5

    Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him

    Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him

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    If you’re having a conversation, Myke suggests really focusing on what the other person is saying. “It’s much easier to come up with the right things to say when you’re actually listening,” he notes.

    #7

    “Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”

    “Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”

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    Verena
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    99% of the US people are immigrants or descendants from immigrants, who either came to the US for a better life for themselves and their kids; or because they were criminals.

    GEA
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Third world is an economic term and doesn't refer to the paucity of any country or person. If this person doesn't know this, she is not intelligent enough to be bandying the term about as an intended insult. Another Trumpanzee, I take it?

    Chuckle Berry
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Waive that flag Lauren, just like a twice impeach 34 count convicted felon tells you. Don't read your history books about fascist and nationalist christian movements that cost the world millions of children and parents

    Regina Holt
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She should look into a mirror to see someone who can't assimilate to be civil.

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Given Lauren is from Germany (according to her @name) she probably refers to countries in the Middle East and Africa without considering what else also counts as Third World. Asians and South Americans don't cause any trouble here and are infact quite welcomed by the society

    Ellie Ahmed
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband is a Middle Eastern immigrant who came to Australia as a child. He has a PhD in clinical psychology and is a registered child psychologist with a specialty in working with children with emotional dysregulation. His father is a diabetes educator, and when his mother was still alive she ran a social enterprise that helped people with barriers to employment to develop work skills. What have you done?

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    Purple_bio
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    here's a example that might blow your mind, most of the greatest minds were immagrants who moved to first world countries or another country Albert Einstein – One of the world's most famous scientists, German-Jewish refugee. Alexander Grothendieck – Mathematician, German-Jewish refugee. Robert Fano – Physicist, Italian-Jewish refugee. not to mention there is no, "first world country" since every country is messed up, bloody hell, America is now classified as a 3rd world country by the U.N standards for how they treat their people https://theconversation.com/us-is-becoming-a-developing-country-on-global-rankings-that-measure-democracy-inequality-190486

    Lynda Nesbitt
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If America is a third world country based upon "how it treats its people" then third world countries have improved a hell of a lot.

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    Ed Brancheau
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    99.9% of people don't even know the true meaning of the term "Third World" country. It has nothing to do with whether a country is rich or poor. It means that they were not allied with the Capitalist bloc after WWII or the Communist bloc.

    Chilli
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How I think she responded "Ok, but do you have 1000 followers on tiktok?"

    Nitka Tsar
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    „civil societies“ how racist can you get? …. But wait… isn‘t the US considered a „3rd world country“ now? (I‘m just joking about HER in particular, don‘t hate me please)

    Ronald Robin
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kind of depends actually. My parents are Indian and they still don't get English 💀

    Roan The Demon Kitty
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fun Fact: the term "Third World" in fact originated during the cold war, a third world country was a country that did not ally themselves with either NATO (1st world) or The Warsaw Pact (2nd world) ... these countries included countries such as Ireland, Finland and Sweden. It is true that a lot of poorer countries were unallied with either side (most of africa and south asia for example) however. But that means nothing about how civil a place is. Also, Vietnam was a "2nd world" country. >.>

    Joan CR
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love that man. Viet Thanh Nguyen PhD. I wonder if Lauren Witzke has assimilated.

    C.O. Shea
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last name of Witzke ain't home-grown honey. You're projecting your incivility. Disgusting.

    ShyWahine
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meanwhile, Lauren Witzke's valuable contribution to society - being arrested for heroin/meth possession and smuggling d**g$ for Mexican cartels,,,

    Alexandra Nara
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well she's got a point.With this phd he is obviously no part of her society. But why should he settle for less ??

    Lena Flising
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the US goes much further down the "freedom only for the rich", non-affordable healthcare, way, you will soon become a third-world nation. Does that mean you won't be able to assimilate into properly civil societies, like Europe, Japan or South Korea?

    Hobby Hopper
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Immigrants shouldn't have to "assimilate". Our society is made richer for being a diverse melting pot, not trying to force it into a narrow-minded image of what it "should" be.

    Sprouted Tater
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I applaud you and all other folks who even still want to come here to the mess that is called USA. Please someone, save us from the rabid right!

    Ellisdogs
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Free Palestine!! These "Western values" will never mean anything ever again if we do not stop the ongoing genocide.

    moggie63
    Community Member
    4 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    The awards prove they've done well, not that they've assimilated.

    Pieter LeGrande
    Community Member
    4 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    OP said "can not" which indicates a physical inability. This has more to do with legislative or social barriers, rather than the migrants individually.

    RamiRudolph
    Community Member
    4 months ago

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    Lauren is still right though, she just didn't specify which Third World she was talking about.

    Meyrin
    Community Member
    4 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    And Mr. Nguyen seems to be the exception of the upper "most" statement and I'll be happy if there are more like him.

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    #8

    They Don't Give A Damn

    They Don't Give A Damn

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    Kristy Marion
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I genuinely admire anyone that chooses to join the military to protect their country, however the idolising of Veterans in America never sits well with me. When you stir up patriotism, and putting civil servants on pedestals and paying such a low minimum wage that joining the armed forces is the only way out, yet shoe no care for returning and ex serviceman, except for give them 10% discounts everywhere and a “thank you for your service”, well, it seems to be like big business and corporations are involved somewhere,

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    #9

    Well Then Rip

    Well Then Rip

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    CultOfBambi
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jacket no longer required! That burn will keep her warm now.

    Another key tip is to stop caring so much. Macapinlac points out, “Most individuals who struggle socially think that all eyes are on them. They’re so afraid of being judged by others that’s why they stifle their personality. To avoid embarrassing themselves, they just remain quiet.”

    “Even if you say something silly, I can assure you that people would’ve forgotten about you by the time they get home”. By letting go of this fear, you’ll be more relaxed, which will help you make clever remarks faster.

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    #11

    Keep Your Stick On The Ice

    Keep Your Stick On The Ice

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    Luke Branwen
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of that old joke: "We asked people how they view lesbian relationships. The question had to be rephrased after majority of responders answered 'in high definition'."

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    #12

    Love This Guy

    Love This Guy

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    Libstak
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How is a woman's body preference ANYTHING TO DO WITH WHAT MEN WANT. We have the right to body autonomy, that means we makes choices for our bodies for ourselves, we are not a potential appendage to a man in life, we have a life all our own.

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    Sometimes it’s good to prepare in advance. “Get a piece of paper and take the time to reflect. Think of previous situations where you wanted to say something clever but you weren’t able to. And then, brainstorm some good comebacks that you could’ve said,” the blogger recommends.


    #14

    Not Be A Baby Machine

    Not Be A Baby Machine

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    It’s also important to manage your emotions. When you’re calm and collected, you come across as more confident. Macapinlac encourages trying out meditation and journaling to be more mindful.

    “[This] will allow you to control the way you think. You’ll be able to identify and reframe your limiting beliefs.
This will help you become less reactive, especially during stressful moments”.

    #16

    Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe

    Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe

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    james stevenson
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's pretty much the best explanation of why we wore face masks I've ever seen.

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    Don’t forget to take inspiration from others. “What better way to improve your sense of humor than by watching more comedy shows and stand-up routines,” Myke says. “Pay close attention to [the comedian’s] material. Notice the timing and delivery of the joke. When something amuses you, ask yourself why by taking a moment to analyze it”.

    #19

    Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?

    Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?

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    #20

    Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile

    Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile

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    araT sdrawkcaB
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And forgetting your kids birthday 3 years running? I’m adopting your son. You’re fired.

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    However, if you’re around someone you want to build a lasting relationship with, be considerate and don’t say things that could ruin someone’s day. “If you want to learn how to be witty and funny, always leave people better than before you met them.”

    #23

    Thank You Andy Wang!

    Thank You Andy Wang!

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    #24

    It Was Social Distancing Haha

    It Was Social Distancing Haha

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    Lastly, be patient with yourself and make an effort to get out of your comfort zone. “The more you practice, the better you’ll be at bantering with people,” Myke concludes.

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    #25

    Definitely Atheists That Do This

    Definitely Atheists That Do This

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    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm really annoyed by all those atheistic phrases people are using every day. Like "For nothing's sake" or "My Notthing!" and the ever present "Thank nothing!"

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    #26

    I Understand Completely

    I Understand Completely

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    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Burning people alive? Yep, that sounds exactly like organized religion to me! Leave people alone when they're not of your faith? Nope! Gotta convert them! Oh, wait, they're unwilling to be converted? Better kill them!

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    #27

    Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

    Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

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    So next time, we hope you have the confidence and quick wit to deliver that perfect comeback. Stay sharp!

    #28

    They Also Don't Come In Exciting Anime

    They Also Don't Come In Exciting Anime

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    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It could be cool if they do. Imagine hiking and then something jump from a tree branch yelling Squiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirel !!!

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    #30

    British Museum

    British Museum

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    Isabella
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least some of the non-British artefacts from British Musem were saved from destruction.

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    #31

    Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile

    Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile

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    #32

    Look Before You Leap

    Look Before You Leap

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    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God gave us brains so we could use them. If He didn't want us to learn how to prevent and cure disease, how to enhance the lives of the disabled, to fix what is broken, He wouldn't have given us brains!

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    #33

    I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before

    I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before

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    #34

    Stealing The Rainbow

    Stealing The Rainbow

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    #36

    Big Footprints To Fill

    Big Footprints To Fill

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    #37

    Education Is Vitally Important, After All

    Education Is Vitally Important, After All

    Smitherd Report

    #39

    Why Would They Need To Am I Rite?

    Why Would They Need To Am I Rite?

    LordMouse121 Report

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    Anya Beboop
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do to get groceries without a large crowd and lines.Also allergic to the sun.

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    #40

    People Really Live In Their Own Little Bubbles

    People Really Live In Their Own Little Bubbles

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    Boy-Ahn
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, now we are censoring even the euphemisms? M o f o is not OK? How about BS?

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    #41

    Comeback

    Comeback

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    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine that person writing that respone and thinking:"There. Clown shoes. The perfect analogy! Let's see them coming back from that one!"

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    #43

    Comeback

    Comeback

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    Stardust she/her
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The hymen can tear without sexual activity. Sometimes you’re not even born with it. The hymen isn’t like one of those freshness seals

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    #44

    Simple Math To Hard

    Simple Math To Hard

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    #45

    Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?

    Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?

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    Jack Burton
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why don"t they go full amish and live like old pioneers, these stupid just want the modern world with our way to see the world. How crazy.

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    #47

    Comeback

    Comeback

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    Little Wonder
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw a photo of one of those lockdown rhymes they're teaching kindergarten kids in case of active shooter, and someone replied "Sure, we have to be prepared for any natural disaster" and the mere fact this person considers an active shooter to be an unavoidable natural disaster says a LOT about the mindset of a lot of (not all of) Americans.

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    #51

    Useless Trees

    Useless Trees

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    Jrog
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is clearly a joke, the original post was from a novelty account.

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    Note: this post originally had 91 images. It’s been shortened to the top 51 images based on user votes.