Join the Fun!

The feeling of disappointment when you don’t have a clever reply on the spot actually has a name—it’s called ‘l’esprit de l’escalier’, or ‘staircase wit’. This term was coined by the 18th century French philosopher Denis Diderot in his dramatic essay, Paradox of the Actor.

The phrase comes from an incident Diderot had over dinner. “A sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument leveled against him, becomes confused and doesn’t collect his thoughts until he’s at the bottom of the stairs,” the philosopher wrote.

#2

Do You Have One?

Final score:

708points

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Kiwis Mom 4 months ago

Yes!

202points

There’s a reason why we sometimes freeze and struggle to respond when someone says something upsetting. Our body sees it as a social danger and goes into defense mode.

“When someone says something offensive or harmful that hurts us or hurts a member of a community that’s really important to us, our nervous system can get activated,” said psychologist Kerry McBroome for Time Magazine. “The parts of the brain that are responsible for coming up with clever or witty things to say are just not online—they’re nervous and sensing a threat.”

#3

Never Underestimate A Woman

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703points

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Kristy Marion 4 months ago

Men, you can’t have babies. Sit down when *women’s* reproductive rights are discussed

905points

#4

Found It On Twitter. Hope I Am Not Too Late

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696points

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Kiwis Mom 4 months ago

Ew

125points

Of course, some folks are naturally good at throwing verbal punches and do so whenever they can. But if you need some pointers in that area, blogger and podcaster Myke Macapinlac has tips on how to be more quick-witted and funny.

According to him, one of the first things you should learn is how to stay present in the moment. “Catch yourself when you’re ruminating and remind yourself to slow down your breathing. By doing so, you’ll be able to relax your body and bring yourself back to your current situation,” he advises.  

#5

Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him

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672points

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BrunoVI 4 months ago

This should be way higher.

136points

#6

Just Another Reason To Keep My Purple Hair

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663points

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Multa Nocte 4 months ago

Ka-ching!

142points

If you’re having a conversation, Myke suggests really focusing on what the other person is saying. “It’s much easier to come up with the right things to say when you’re actually listening,” he notes.

#7

“Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”

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654points

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sbj 4 months ago

Nice!

124points

#8

They Don't Give A Damn

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606points

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Kristy Marion 4 months ago

I genuinely admire anyone that chooses to join the military to protect their country, however the idolising of Veterans in America never sits well with me. When you stir up patriotism, and putting civil servants on pedestals and paying such a low minimum wage that joining the armed forces is the only way out, yet shoe no care for returning and ex serviceman, except for give them 10% discounts everywhere and a “thank you for your service”, well, it seems to be like big business and corporations are involved somewhere,

264points

#9

Well Then Rip

Final score:

600points

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CultOfBambi 3 months ago

Jacket no longer required! That burn will keep her warm now.

16points

Another key tip is to stop caring so much. Macapinlac points out, “Most individuals who struggle socially think that all eyes are on them. They’re so afraid of being judged by others that’s why they stifle their personality. To avoid embarrassing themselves, they just remain quiet.”

“Even if you say something silly, I can assure you that people would’ve forgotten about you by the time they get home”. By letting go of this fear, you’ll be more relaxed, which will help you make clever remarks faster.

#10

What A Good Reply

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596points

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Anya Beboop 4 months ago

This

154points

#11

Keep Your Stick On The Ice

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591points

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Luke Branwen 4 months ago

Reminds me of that old joke: "We asked people how they view lesbian relationships. The question had to be rephrased after majority of responders answered 'in high definition'."

191points

#12

Love This Guy

Final score:

588points

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Libstak 4 months ago

How is a woman's body preference ANYTHING TO DO WITH WHAT MEN WANT. We have the right to body autonomy, that means we makes choices for our bodies for ourselves, we are not a potential appendage to a man in life, we have a life all our own.

219points

Sometimes it’s good to prepare in advance. “Get a piece of paper and take the time to reflect. Think of previous situations where you wanted to say something clever but you weren’t able to. And then, brainstorm some good comebacks that you could’ve said,” the blogger recommends. 

#13

I Don’t Care If Repost Made Me Laugh

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576points

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Mrs Irish Mom 4 months ago

🤣😂🤣😂 omg so funny

138points

#14

Not Be A Baby Machine

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572points

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Little Wonder 4 months ago

I yeeted my uterus, guess I'm pointless now. Whoot!

218points

#15

Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

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559points

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The.Butterfly.Effect.530 4 months ago

Ouch!! That's a good one.

115points

It’s also important to manage your emotions. When you’re calm and collected, you come across as more confident. Macapinlac encourages trying out meditation and journaling to be more mindful.

“[This] will allow you to control the way you think. You’ll be able to identify and reframe your limiting beliefs. This will help you become less reactive, especially during stressful moments”.

#16

Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe

Final score:

536points

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james stevenson 4 months ago (edited)

That's pretty much the best explanation of why we wore face masks I've ever seen.

192points

#17

You're The Problem

Final score:

527points

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kath morgan 4 months ago

“Women can’t stand me”

11points

#18

Room Temperature IQ

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523points

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Chocolate llama 4 months ago

and that's in Celcius

348points

Don’t forget to take inspiration from others. “What better way to improve your sense of humor than by watching more comedy shows and stand-up routines,” Myke says. “Pay close attention to [the comedian’s] material. Notice the timing and delivery of the joke. When something amuses you, ask yourself why by taking a moment to analyze it”.

#19

Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?

Final score:

517points

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General Anaesthesia 4 months ago

The weakest minds need someone, anyone, to look down on for no reason.

169points

#20

Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile

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507points

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araT sdrawkcaB 4 months ago

And forgetting your kids birthday 3 years running? I’m adopting your son. You’re fired.

29points

#21

Why Don't You Stand Up For Yourself?

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504points

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james stevenson 4 months ago

Oh. DAMN!!!

103points

However, if you’re around someone you want to build a lasting relationship with, be considerate and don’t say things that could ruin someone’s day. “If you want to learn how to be witty and funny, always leave people better than before you met them.”

#22

Some Good Luck!

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496points

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james stevenson 4 months ago

Well done Michael. Well done.

128points

#23

Thank You Andy Wang!

Final score:

489points

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PattyK 4 months ago

Censoring Mr. W**g’s name is both disgusting and insulting.

554points

#24

It Was Social Distancing Haha

Final score:

477points

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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 4 months ago

I thought dinosaurs were just a prank of Satan's, since the world is only 6000 years old.

87points

Lastly, be patient with yourself and make an effort to get out of your comfort zone. “The more you practice, the better you’ll be at bantering with people,” Myke concludes.

#25

Definitely Atheists That Do This

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458points

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Bernd Herbert 4 months ago

I'm really annoyed by all those atheistic phrases people are using every day. Like "For nothing's sake" or "My Notthing!" and the ever present "Thank nothing!"

20points

#26

I Understand Completely

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454points

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LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago

Burning people alive? Yep, that sounds exactly like organized religion to me! Leave people alone when they're not of your faith? Nope! Gotta convert them! Oh, wait, they're unwilling to be converted? Better kill them!

231points

#27

Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

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444points

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The.Butterfly.Effect.530 4 months ago

Goodwill does this... just one more reason to not take your business there.

133points

So next time, we hope you have the confidence and quick wit to deliver that perfect comeback. Stay sharp!

#28

They Also Don't Come In Exciting Anime

Final score:

442points

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Jack Burton 4 months ago

It could be cool if they do. Imagine hiking and then something jump from a tree branch yelling Squiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirel !!!

282points

#29

Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???

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436points

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annie 4 months ago

utter matness!

135points

#30

British Museum

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422points

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Isabella 4 months ago

At least some of the non-British artefacts from British Musem were saved from destruction.

16points

#31

Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile

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416points

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Jack Burton 4 months ago

This dude was a gem

159points

#32

Look Before You Leap

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414points

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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 4 months ago

God gave us brains so we could use them. If He didn't want us to learn how to prevent and cure disease, how to enhance the lives of the disabled, to fix what is broken, He wouldn't have given us brains!

174points

#33

I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before

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406points

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Multa Nocte 4 months ago

Brilliant comeback!

101points

#34

Stealing The Rainbow

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annie 4 months ago

what about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

91points

#35

Separate Payments

Final score:

398points

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𝙻𝚞𝚗𝚊 (𝚜𝚑𝚎/𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢) 4 months ago

That’s kinda cruel (I LOVE IT)

117points

#36

Big Footprints To Fill

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393points

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Mrs Irish Mom 4 months ago

I pledge not to use my private jet to go half hour down the road

168points

#37

Education Is Vitally Important, After All

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detective miller's hat 4 months ago

I have met brick walls that are more sentient than Marjorie Taylor Greene.

14points

#38

Bless This Woman

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383points

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james stevenson 4 months ago

That kind of sassy lady is always in the right

118points

#39

Why Would They Need To Am I Rite?

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380points

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Anya Beboop 4 months ago (edited)

I do to get groceries without a large crowd and lines.Also allergic to the sun.

70points

#40

People Really Live In Their Own Little Bubbles

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376points

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Boy-Ahn 4 months ago

So, now we are censoring even the euphemisms? M o f o is not OK? How about BS?

78points

#41

Comeback

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375points

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Bernd Herbert 4 months ago (edited)

Imagine that person writing that respone and thinking:"There. Clown shoes. The perfect analogy! Let's see them coming back from that one!"

90points

#42

Comeback

Final score:

364points

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Susie Elle 4 months ago

*slow clap*

85points

#43

Comeback

Final score:

364points

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Stardust she/her 4 months ago

The hymen can tear without sexual activity. Sometimes you’re not even born with it. The hymen isn’t like one of those freshness seals

261points

#44

Simple Math To Hard

Final score:

361points

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Bay Bo 4 months ago

Shall we subtract the cost for STD tests n meds?

125points

#45

Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?

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355points

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Jack Burton 4 months ago

Why don"t they go full amish and live like old pioneers, these stupid just want the modern world with our way to see the world. How crazy.

41points

#46

True Perfection Has Been Achieved

Final score:

348points

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Kiwis Mom 4 months ago

Chaka Khan

126points

#47

Comeback

Final score:

345points

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Little Wonder 4 months ago

I saw a photo of one of those lockdown rhymes they're teaching kindergarten kids in case of active shooter, and someone replied "Sure, we have to be prepared for any natural disaster" and the mere fact this person considers an active shooter to be an unavoidable natural disaster says a LOT about the mindset of a lot of (not all of) Americans.

11points

Kare Deter 4 months ago

As a teacher who has heard this idea more than once: NO. WE (most of us) don't want to carry guns. Can't imagine the palsied 86 year old teacher pulling out a Glock and trying to aim for the bad guy. No, no, no, no.

5points

Verena 4 months ago

Can't be easy, and must actually be terrifying, living in a country where everybody needs to be armed for self-defence, because somebody might get crazy with their guns

5points

Puggy 4 months ago

What's really scary is that only 35% of US citizens own guns, but there are more guns than people.If one gun isn't enough to soothe your insecurities, why would 10 guns do it?

7points

Allen Lavi 4 months ago

That's a perfect description of America

2points

vaad bait 4 months ago

Come to certain parts of Israel, you'll beg for a gun to protect yourself.

0points

Dread Pirate Roberts 4 months ago (edited)

Wow, there is so much stupid in everything that Rick guy said. I love how he also assumes that all teachers can even be trusted with a gun 🤦‍♀️

3points

Trisec Tebeakesse 4 months ago

My cousin is in law enforcement. He said it once - it doesn't matter if you are trained, licensed, and registered. All I know is when I show up, I see an idiot waving a gun around and act accordingly.

3points

Tom Brincefield 4 months ago

At least one "good guy with a gun" successfully stopped a shooter. Then the cops showed up, saw a guy with a gun standing over a body and killed him. Because all they knew was it was an active shooter situation.

1point

Dane 4 months ago

I live in America, and I blame my education for not understanding this. When a kid was throwing rocks on the school playground, for some reason, the teachers never told the rest of us to pick up rocks and start throwing. Had I only known, I could have stopped these "rock-thrower" 50 years ago!

2points

C.O. Shea 4 months ago

You first, Rick! Pea-brained coward thrusting a lunch lady into the line of fire instead of a man? Shocking!

2points

Zoey Rayne 4 months ago

The only devil's advocate defense I will give in the face of this stupid argument is that the teachers value the lives of the children more than these cowardly cops. Do the job you trained for.

2points

Nicole Weymann 2 months ago

They may. Hopefully they do. But then again teachers are only human, and just as vulnerable to being overworked, underpaid, angry, desperate, disrespected, burned out, etc. as everybody else. So chances are high that 1) teachers going on a shooting spree may just increase the number of amok runners and their victims, and 2) potential amok runners won't have to bring their own guns to school, they'll just have to take/find/steal/blackmail the teacher for the ones already there.

1point

Wielder of Yielder 4 months ago

Why not give all the kids guns, too? That way, no kid would ever get shot.

1point

Tracey Stammers 4 months ago

Guns, Schools, Americans - You are probably the only western nation that encourages the carrying of this type of weapon as a right/expectation. It is the laws and the Ostrich head in the sand elements of the US that sees the solution of adding more weapons to the mix as a solution. God forbid that this behaviour is picked up elsewhere.

1point

Uncle Schmickle 4 months ago

Yeah, let's arm the kids too. At playtime they can practice shooting each other.

1point

Congruent Empath 4 months ago

Teachers have enough to deal with like overcrowded classes and uncontrollable behavior problems. Just imagine if a disgruntled middle or high schooler was able to take the teacher's firearm for his own purposes. Or if an elementary school student got possession of one and was curious as to how it worked. Yeah, let's spend millions of dollars to arm teachers and let them wallow in low salaries, unsupportive administrators, unsupportive and entitled parents, and lack of classroom supplies.

1point

alicia 4 months ago

Don't bring a handgun to an assault rifle fight.🤦‍♀️

1point

Steve Hall 4 months ago

If teachers carried guns, none of my kids would have survived elementary school.

1point

me McG 4 months ago

"The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with a Nuclear 🤯 Bomb."

1point

Linda Riebel 4 months ago

heavily armed BOY. White boys are the perps.

1point

Fred L. 4 months ago

Well, free guns for everybody under 12 it is. After all, what could go wrong?

1point

Rob D 4 months ago (edited)

Conservatives talk about a good guy stopping a bad guy like it's easy. As a gun owner, is absolutely scary how undertrained and underperforming 95% of gun owners are. Most pistols (but actually their operators; the pistol itself is accurate AF) have a truly accurate range (given the lack of training) of 5 to 7 yards, especially those meant for carry with 3-4 inch barrels. ...I can't believe, even, Republicans, can't watch a police shooting where 3 cops unload 34 rounds apiece into an suv and don't hit a thing, and think teacher/staff carry is a viable solution. And let's briefly touch on training/expense (in FLA). A 50 rd box of decent 9mm is $15. Range fee: $20-40. Is the 45K/year social studies teacher prepared to go through 3 or 4 boxes per range session, a couple sessions per week, in perpetuity? Cause that's the scary bare minimum training it would take to even feign competence with a firearm if it really mattered.

1point

Foxes&Flowers 4 months ago

In My Texas school, 3 of the teachers carried guns. Ahh, Texas.

1point

Alicia M 4 months ago

If my kid's teacher carried a gun in class, I would pull my kid out of that school immediately. It's an accident waiting to happen.

1point

Maria Maria 4 months ago

Teachers' jobs are already hard enough.

1point

Tara L. 4 months ago

As a teacher with kids to protect, you're damn right I'd blast a school shooter, but it wouldn't be with no super rare "8mm" 🙄 that nobody's ever heard of. It would be with my .45

0points

Purple_bio 4 months ago

America is the defo of a sims game that had everything given at the wrong time and left to run it self for a 100 years, in simple, completely fu(keD

0points

David Smith 4 months ago

Johnny, I told you to sit down! Sit down or.......

0points

Kyllein MacKellerann 4 months ago

Solve the "Gun Problem" with better background checks and manditory training on the weapon you want to buy. Most "checks" today take less than a day and only look for felonies in the applicant's past.

0points

Meagan Glaser 4 months ago

"we should arm teachers so they can protect kids" "in case the police can't get their in time?" "no, because the police say they don't have to protect kids" "why don't we make it part of the police's job to protect kids? They already HAVE guns and know how to use them" "...no" "?" "Look, I always thought I could be a hardcore heroic Die Hard style hero in a pinch, and I don't care how little sense I make or how many children have to die. I will NOT let that fantasy be punctured!"

0points

Sierra Tide 4 months ago

On a different note.... I would watch a movie about the lunch lady, the librarian, the janitor and both the math and science teacher forming an after school vigilante group going after school bullies that terrorize other students and teachers 🍿

0points

Subaru645 4 months ago

This is classic

0points

Doofnuts 4 months ago

Unfortunately I do and I would.

0points

That Person 4 months ago (edited)

We had a lockdown this year. A bunch of people initially thought it was a drill, but it lasted for about half an hour, they did not announce it previously, and had not informed the teachers. My friends and I, upon realizing the abnormality of the situation, began calmly (and quietly) discussing the possible weapons in the room, possible escape routes, etc. The best weapon we found was a hydroflask. It’s a good weapon, but the problem is it is close range, so if the assailant had a gun (which the assailant probably would) it would be far too risky to attempt to use. My geometry teacher said she wished she was allowed to have a gun because we would be otherwise defenseless. We were on the second story, so if it came to making a run for it, we could not jump out without probably injuring ourselves. We later found out that it was an “elevated drill.” The police department didn’t like that our school didn’t take the lockdown drills seriously (students talking loudly and having a casual view of the situation) so they forced our school to do that. They did not notify anyone beforehand. Most of the students, myself included, thought there was a real threat to the school. Many of those kids also experienced trauma from that day and parents were infuriated at the school. The principal had to formally apologize on the morning announcements and proclaim that the school will never again do what they did that day.

0points

That Person 4 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Mikkel Sørensen 3 months ago

How do we cure the disease? With more disease! Only in America.

-1point

Robert Davis 4 months ago

That Texas Police Department should be renamed Vulva PD, because they are a bunch of pu$$ie$.

-1point

Timbob 4 months ago

Yes Lee, we are stupid here. Exceedingly so ! There are two kinds of American men with guns. Criminals, and men with small Penises.

-3points

B W 4 months ago

Instead of guns we should call them small peepee protectors. Huge Super Bowl commercials with limp, and fragile ‘Mericans in leotards.

-3points

Vinnie 4 months ago

Unless it's changed, the Super Bowl is not for ballet. Anyways, I wouldn't pick a fight with a guy who could lift me high over his head. I'm not big, but I do weigh a bit more than a football.

1point