He sounds GREAT!

so true (coughs) Donald trump...

true story

Cracked me up so hard i got in trouble in class for laughing to loud and was getting a number of looks. This is so funny but so smart at the same time!

Squirted coffee on my monitor from laughing

I believe this must be pounds, and then it would be 135 kgs to 81 kgs. Does not sound bad!

That's a paid vacation!

Nothing could be more true then this. Just do it if you are alone and want friends, true friends.

Way to take one for the team!

The world in 2018 with poverty, wars, no actions against pollution, etc. etc., i.e. mankind having all the means but not the will to enable everyone, in particularly future generations, in having a good life.

Dreadpool

Oh, that's mean!

Wow! :D Where do you people find time to think about this!

From a man to ladies: you might think the hints you give are very obvious, but they are not! And if you like a man, make the first step yourself. Don't get upset if a man doesn't get your "obvious" hints.

What a horrible thought, and what a waste for that room. I would turn it into a cozy area to play video games that I do not have time for, read the books I always wanted to read, and spend time with loved-ones when days are too stressful.

An experiment was recently completed that shows that particles can change upon observation, so this may not be so far fetched after all.

UMM dont worry im sure thats normal

I'd get really mad at myself for not having the apartment clean. And also have to resist the urge to kiss him.

But if it's obbligatory, make that test be free of charge, or at least, discounted.

Tomatoes, I suspect.

This is happening right now!!!!

Julia Roberts would be perfect the Hollywood adaption of this story.

When logic is both a winner and a loser!

R.I.P.

I once asked someone (A non-drinker), what would you possibly do, if you are way to much drunk, Response: I won't remember a thing I guess. Friends for life.

This is 100% true

Female orgasm

stop stop no really seriously wait my god

Columbus, every time the Flat Earthers open their mouths.

Well done!

Start reading the instruction manuals

I feel like I'm in a foreign culture where everybody knows the customs, the language and how to interact but me, and I'm just here terrified I'm going to try to say something nice but end up calling someone's mother a whore.

Snort coke.

Zimbabwean Dollars. 10 billion is surely going to require more than a briefcase in most other dollar currencies!

Wow...that could have gone really wrong.

Matches: Might Light

Birthday bl...what?

I do this with my daughter. I have successfully stopped 'dabbing' and 'flossing' in my house. I hope to progress to stopping her wearing inappropriate clothing when she is a teenager using the same techniques.

LMAO!!!!!

My favourite is (translated by me to English so sorry that it might sound like it): A man walks into the surgical ward in a hospital saying: "Hello, I think I'm a moth." A nurse replies: "I'm sorry, this is the surgical ward, psychiatry is on the third floor." "I know but you had the lights on."

A fellow Croatian passenger approached me in English in the plane last time and I answered back in English because I couldn't know either. Until the moment he spoke to the flight attendant

awwww

I think it would be fun to read all the answers first and the question only at the end.

Paper cut?

Hahahaa.. omg.. that would definitely fck someone's head if you just started living with them.

My sister's cat suddenly seemed to get fatter overnight. We thought it was doing the above until one day we found it fighting with another cat - which looked exactly like it, but thinner. Things went 'click' and we realized we had been feeding an impostor who kept chasing my sister's actual cat off when he tried to come home. Smartest thing I've ever seen an animal do.

I've never been on a plane. Is this a big issue?

The one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eaters....does anyone remember those being everywhere??? Nope...see

my primary school decided to take away the rubbish bins because they thought it would mean we would take our rubbish home but it just made us litter more