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35 People Share The Best Advice They’ve Heard That Made Them Change Their Life
Interview With Expert
If you are seeking to better yourself, you need guidance. Luckily, there are countless sources of wisdom to draw from, sometimes found in readily accessible places, too.
So when we stumbled across a few Reddit discussions where people have been sharing the best advice they have ever received, we decided to do our part and spread the word.
From how to approach arguments to navigating unexpected challenges, continue scrolling to check out the insights people swear by and find useful.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
You don't have to show up to every argument you're invited to.
To learn more about everyday life lessons, we contacted psychologist Lindsay Staples, PhD, who provides individual therapy for adults exclusively by telehealth to maximize accessibility and convenience.
"Advice is good when it is specific to your situation and considers long-term consequences," Staples shared with Bored Panda.
"It should also support your personal values, provide you with an idea you didn't already have, and be clear exactly what you're supposed to do with it."
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#2
When my dad passed away someone told me, “I’m sure you hear a lot of people saying how sorry they are and stuff like that. So I won’t tell you that, I will tell you this. Your dad may have passed from this world but he’s still alive in your memories, alive in the people’s lives he’s influenced, talked to, and met. He’s alive in you, your family, and your friends. He’s alive going forward because he’ll influence your future kid’s lives, he’ll influence your life going forward. Your will to live might be broken right now but you have to for your dad, your mom, and your family. Keep his memory alive because a person dies twice. Once in the real world and once when they are remembered for the last time. Make sure that last time isn’t in your life span.”
That really helped me through some dark times.
However, "Advice can also be bad, and some advice can be good in one context but not another," Staples added.
"For example, many an infuriated millennial has complained about their boomer parents advising them to 'Show up and ask the employers if they have any jobs in person! It will leave an impression!' But maybe that's not the impression they're going for. That advice applied to the parents' situation but doesn't apply now."
"Advice can also be bad if it's based on flawed information or doesn't account for long-term risks. Exercise caution if, for example, someone seems just a little too excited about Bitcoin." Otherwise, you might lose your savings in a pump-and-dump scheme.
#4
Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
#6
Remember when you are fighting with your partner it is not you vs them. It's you both vs the problem. Doesnt matter if one of you is right, fix the problem.
Alternatively, I was told once, after considering myself a fairly honorable man, when I did something wrong, a friend told me "being a good man isnt a thing. It's a journey".
Research has demonstrated that we are likely to favor our own judgment over others' advice, especially when we don't know those people. And that's not necessarily a problem because Staples believes the source of the advice is pretty darn important.
"You need to know: 1) Can you trust the intentions of the person giving the advice—do they actually want to be helpful? 2) What are they claiming to know, and how do they know it? (Life experience? Citable sources?) And 3) do they understand your situation well enough to have an opinion?"
So don't worry if some of these entries don't apply to you!
#8
Marriage isn't 50/50. It's 100/100. You don't split duties and responsibilities. You both give your all, regardless of how much your spouse is giving.
There will be times when they won't give as much, out of sickness or sadness or whatever reason. Instead of feeling like they should do more, just pick up the slack. There will be times when you can't do your share either.
Dishes need doing? Do them.
Instead of asking whether they're doing enough, ask if you can do more. Serve them. Give them yourself. If both people do this, it will be a happy marriage.
Geekymummy 4 months ago
This is true. But sometimes one of the people might get into bad habits and not realise how much they've left for the other person to do. This is where clear communication is important. Otherwise resentment can build up. Communicate when you need help or when the other person has slipped into a habit of letting the other take on too much. Chances are, they hadn't even realised it.
#9
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.
#10
If you lend someone your pen for a minute, don't give them the lid. You'll always get your pen back.
#11
Don’t recall where I heard this but...
“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room”
The people who you surround yourself with especially in your young adult life will have a profound impact on the rest of your adulthood.
Surrounding yourself with driven and intelligent people will influence you positively.
CanadianDimes 4 months ago
Unless you’ve been invited into the room because you’re the smartest person
#12
Being an electrician working in industries: "trust no one."
If the process operator is convinced that the power is shut off, go and see it for yourself.
If a trainee tells you he has tightened all and any bolts and screws, go and see it for yourself.
If your foreman sounds convincing enough that the materials for the job are ordered, go and see it for yourself.
It's a philosophy not for sowing mistrust, but to ensure you can do your job properly and safely.
#13
Nothing is awkward until you convince yourself that it is.
#14
"Once you learn something, no one can take it away from you".
It really resonated with me, since I grew up with instability and uncertainty.
#15
It will still be here tomorrow.
Wisdom from my boss on having a huge to-do list at work and not stressing over it. Get done what you can today, what you don't finish will be there to work on tomorrow and you don't need to take the mental baggage of having a big to-do list home with you.
#16
Close your mouth and open your ears, nobody hears if everyone is talking, you'll be amazed at what you learn.
#17
Control the controllable, let the rest go.
Jon Steensen 4 months ago
yes, but sometimes figuring out what you can control and what you cannot control is really hard... and then there are those situations where you could get back in control if you put in some more effort, but that comes at the cost of letting something else slide... life is a difficult game to play, and we only get a tiny fraction of the information we need, and is forced to make a decision based on that. It is all a game of striking the right balance.
#18
My dad once told me, half jokingly, that "Live Fast Die Young doesn't work if you don't die young." He has a bunch of health problems now due to not taking care of himself when he was younger. It really opened my eyes to how the way I treat my body now will have repercussions decades in the future. After hearing that phrase and seeing his health issues accumulate, I've started eating much healthier and exercising more frequently.
Karina 4 months ago
You dont havento cut your burger or pizza out of your life, but you should add salat and veggies. Then pay attention to how much better you feel. You also get a lot more pay back for moving a little each day, than working out hard once or thrice a week. Micromuscles is what will keep your body healthy, so you really dont have to do the power-lifting unless you want to. Dance instead.
#19
Always underpromise and overdeliver.
The Phantom Stranger 4 months ago
Lol, this is what earned Mr. Scott his reputation as a Miracle Worker on Star Trek. Scott: "Captain, it will take at least eight hours to get the engines back online!" Kirk: "Scotty, I need those engines running in two hours." Scott: "Och! I dinnae think it's possible Captain, but I'll do my best " (Two hours later, engines are back online.) Kirk: "Mr. Scott you're a miracle worker!" He even tried explaining this to Geordi LaForge on TNG, who was too dense to get it.
#20
Always keep the utilities, lease, and vehicle in your name, and have a bank account in your name only. That way, no matter what goes sideways in your relationship, or how badly, nobody can put you and your kids out, turn off the heat or water, etc.
Lyoness 4 months ago
It's sad but true. No matter how much you love and trust your partner everyone needs an exit/safety plan. Yes, things can go sideways but in the event of an accident where your partner is incapacitated or (worst case scenario) d*es, you need to have access to money and property while you wait for the estate to be settled. Keep enough money for a few months, minimum.
#21
“Either you can accept your situation or change it.”
I had a really tough time making friends freshman year of high school, and I’d come home crying to my mom every day because I was so lonely. She let me cry for a bit and then told me this. The next day I went to school and started talking to people, because I figured I had nothing to lose. I apply it to so much now, either I have to fix what’s bothering me or I have to accept it and move on, wallowing around feeling sorry for myself was unhealthy and not beneficial in the least.
#22
When i was a kid my dad told me four important words. Know when to quit.
The Phantom Stranger 4 months ago
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit--no use being a d*mn fool about it." -Mark Twain
#23
If you can afford to pay a professional to do something, you do it.
That way, if something goes wrong, your wife can blame them instead of you.
My late father-in-law.
Frazzled Mama 4 months ago
YUP. My husband has a million half done projects around the house that I'm finally gonna hire contractors to finish.
#24
Always know their will be a second kid on a bike coming around a curve after the first on a road while you are driving.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 4 months ago
When one ambulance passes you, don't assume there isn't a second.
#25
“When dating, and wondering if you’re ready to marry someone, ask yourself ‘would I be with this person if I were blind?’”
Given to me by one of the greatest, most humble men I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.
Jon Steensen 4 months ago (edited)
Not just that, ask yourself if that person would be there for you if you ended up in a wheel chair, lost the house, got cancer etc. and if you would do the same. Life can throw a lot of curveballs that can really test or derail a relationship. Living toghether is one of them, so be smart and test that, before you commit. Though we all hope for the good times, you have to consider that bad times exist to. We all, hopefully, end up old and wrinkly one day (the alternative is worse), so if you only choose your partner for looks, your relationship is bound to fail.
#26
An old guy once told me “once you reach 60, never waste a boner or trust a fart.”.
#27
If you define your life by the things you own, then the things you own own you.
The Phantom Stranger 4 months ago
"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven." Not a religious man, but I understand this one. I admit I own a lot of "stuff" as George Carlin put it, but I often ask myself "Could you walk away from all this and still be happy?" If the answer is ever "No", then I'll know I'm in trouble.
#28
We judge ourselves by our reasons and others by their actions.
Try to remember this when someone judges you for something you did or before judging someone else for their actions.
Jon Steensen 4 months ago
...and remember that you don't have the full picture. So something that can seem completely irrational to you can indeed be right, you just don't have all the puzzle pieces put in place so you can see get the picture. ...and we don't always use reason to judge ourself. Instead we often choose the conclusion first, and then find the arguments to support it afterwards. That is just one of the biases of the human psyche.
#29
Measure twice, cut once.
I actually sometimes recall the moment my uncle told me that in a conversation when I was maybe 13 or 14. I think we were talking about it literally, cause I did have a woodworking class in school at the time.
It has helped me be more cautious when doing certain things though. Like when doing a task where I can't redo it if I f**k up, I'll be super super careful at each stage to be very aware of what's going on.
Geekymummy 4 months ago
With a dressmaking mum and an engineer dad, I heard this phrase many many times growing up.
#30
Wear a condom.
#31
It wasn’t advice per se, but whenever I was going through a tough situation, my parents would always say “it’s temporary”. Whatever hardship I’m going through is temporary. It has helped me so much to put things in perspective. I’m trying to help my boyfriend right now by telling him that his job is abnormally hard right now but that it’s temporary and in a couple of weeks it’ll be back to normal.
BewilderedBanana 4 months ago (edited)
Take it a step further. Life is also temporary :) Just kidding - i understand the spirit of the post, and for some people this might be taking it too far. But understanding that we're alive for a relatively brief amount of time can sometimes help put things into perspective
#32
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift" -Master Oogway.
#33
“Don’t be an idiot.” Before I’m about to do something I think, “would an idiot do that?” And if they would, I do not do that thing.”.
Michael Largey 4 months ago
We idiots do many of the things sensible people do. Better phrasing "Would only an idiot to that?"
#34
It may not be advice, but it was the best dose of tough love I had ever received. So maybe it was advice in some cosmic sense.
I was home visiting my dad and alma mater. My ex-fiance finally texted me that day to officially end our relationship. To make a long story short, it was a 3-year, toxic relationship that really took me through the wringer. I kept the relationship on life support up to that point, and quite frankly, the relationship changed me into an extremely anxious, fearful dude. I finally had enough - I wanted her to be the one to end it after everything that had transpired. She did so through a text of all things.
I was getting ready to go to a bar with my best friend to drown my sorrows and drink to a brighter future. My dad isn't normally one to get involved in my relationships, but as I got ready to leave, my dad stopped me and grabbed me by my shoulders:
**Dad:** Son, I love you, and you're one of the strongest men I've ever known ... but whenever you meet a woman, you turn into a wet bag of s**t. You need to really think on that, and get back to who you are before you even think about getting involved with another woman.
I remember being stunned and pissed off all at the same time, because I knew he was right. It was what I needed to hear at the time, and I took a solid two years to heal and get to know myself again.
Without that bit a tough love, I'm not sure I would have made the same decision.*Edited for typos.*.
Jon Steensen 4 months ago
...and don't try to drown your sorrows. It hurts like hell, but stay in the feeling, and deal with it in a constructive way instead of fleeing and using that crutch. Before you know it, you will have to rely on it in order to stand at all. If you start using alcohol for regulation of your emotions, you are not drinking in a healthy way.... and that also goes if you have to be drunk in order to have fun at at party.
#35
Take the time and make the effort to figure out your boundaries. I wish so many people did this.
What do you think ?
PJ Jones 4 months ago
Sha ! Always consider the possibility that you CAN be wrong.
Load More Replies...
Lynette Vella 3 months ago
My Aussie husband says this - and then zhits in the house.
Load More Replies... PJ Jones 4 months ago
Sha ! Always consider the possibility that you CAN be wrong.
Load More Replies... Lynette Vella 3 months ago
My Aussie husband says this - and then zhits in the house.
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