Definitions vary, but the “default parent” is usually a person within a two-partner household who, for whatever reason, has become the primary caregiver for the children.

The role comes with a lot of pressure and can be really exhausting. After all, you’re basically keeping track of all aspects of the kids’ lives—from school and social activities to their health and emotional well-being—and it can feel as if you’ve dropped the ball if you make a mistake along the way.

Recently, mom and content creator Cassey Ahlas has released an emotional video taken from her car in which she explains exactly what it feels like.

More info: Instagram | TikTok

Image credits: casseysjourney

“Let me just say this.

If you can take any job that works any hours without having to worry about your children or childcare,

if you can get up in the morning and get ready for that job, drink your coffee, eat your breakfast in peace, not have to get any kids ready, not have to take any kids to daycare,

if you can make plans and not have to worry about childcare,

if you can plan a vacation and not have to worry about packing your kids, making sure your kids have everything or finding childcare while you take that vacation,

if you can do daily life things such as go to the grocery store, go to the gym, any of those things and not have to worry about childcare, you better thank the default parent.”

Image credits: casseysjourney

“Because let me tell you right now, I’m the default parent in my situation 24/7, 365 and this sh*t is stressful. It is the most selfless, thankless, loving job on the planet. So if you can do your daily life every day and not have to worry about your kids being taken care of, you better thank the default parent.”

Image credits: casseysjourney

@casseysjourney #mom #dad #momsoftiktok #momlife #momtok #moms #momsover30 #momsontiktok #momsover40 #dadsoftiktok #dadsontiktok #dadsoftiktok #daddy #parent #parents #parentsoftiktok #parenting #parenthood #mother #motherhood #father #fatherhood #default #defaultparent ♬ Somewhere Only We Know – Hilman Rospandi

Later, Cassey released another video, further explaining the concept

Image credits: casseysjourney

“And let me just say this.

If you do not have to call out of work or leave work early because your child is sick, on the flip side of that, when you are sick, if you get to lay in bed, rest and recharge and do not have to get up and take care of children while you are sick,

if your schedule does not have to revolve around doctor’s appointments, dentist appointments, extracurriculars,

if you do not have to provide the information or carry the insurance for doctors, dentists and extracurriculars,

if you do not have to know your child’s shoe size or clothing size because they always just have those things provided, they always have new shoes when their feet grow, they always have clothes when they grow out of them,

if these are things you do not have to worry about on a daily basis,

if you do not carry this mental load, you better thank the default parent. You better thank the default parent.”

Image credits: Keenan Constance (not the actual photo)

@casseysjourney Default Parent Pt 2! #mom #momsoftiktok #momsoftiktok #momlife #momtok #dad #dadsoftiktok #daddy #dadlife #parent #parentsoftiktok #parents #parenting #parentingtips #coparenting #default #defaultparent ♬ Somewhere Only We Know – Hilman Rospandi

Image credits: Tatiana Syrikova (not the actual photo)

The honest videos have struck a chord with the internet and ignited a discussion on parenting responsibilities

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