People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair

Honesty. Loyalty. Trust. These are the foundations of any loving and thriving relationship. Everything you’ve built together can come tumbling down when your partner starts being secretive and unfaithful to you. It can start with a bit of ‘harmless’ flirting, but it can soon grow into a full-blown affair.

Redditor u/Kindayoungbutok recently started a very candid thread on r/AskReddit, asking internet users about the “dead giveaways” that your partner is probably cheating on you. Scroll down to read the potential signs and learn what happened in these people’s relationships.

We reached out to the author of the viral thread, and they were happy to answer our questions about cheating and what keeps a relationship rock-solid. Read on for Bored Panda's interview with u/Kindayoungbutok.

This post may include affiliate links.

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair If they cheated on someone to be with you, well.... don't be shocked, is all.

Tyrphanax , drazenphoto Report

Final score:

321points

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Mad Dragon 1 year ago (edited)

Good advice. If you were ok that they cheated on someone to be with you, don’t be surprised when they cheat on you, too.

76points

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I had a cool/odd/crazy/s****y experience. I talk in my sleep and one day (three months before we were to get married) I had a nightmare about my ex cheating on me with a guy I worked with and I actually woke both of us up mumbling some s**t about it. When I told her what my dream was she got cagey, so I checked our cellphone bill and found out that she had been texting that very same guy non stop for weeks. I confronted her and she admitted to cheating on me with him.

A dream set me free. What's also funny is that I don't recall having any kind of trust issues with him and her when we hung out, but something inside me apparently did.

Ryu2388 Report

Final score:

261points

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Sonja 1 year ago

Sometimes your dreams show you what you already know deep down but don't want to accept

10points

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People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair Your dog vomits another woman’s underwear.

RollTacker , Svetozar Milashevich Report

Final score:

256points

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Ellen Crawford 1 year ago

Dogs are amazing people ❤️

109points

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Bored Panda had a friendly chat with the author of the viral thread, u/Kindayoungbutok. We were very curious as to why the topic made such a big splash on Reddit, as well as what inspired the OP to ask the question in the first place.

"I feel like most people are very drawn to this topic because, in one way or another, most have had an encounter with infidelity. Whether it be their partners, parents, or themselves," they said why affairs are a topic that gets so much attention.

"I can’t recall why exactly I made this post, but contrary to what you might expect, I wasn’t considering if I were being cheated on or not. I was curious to see what answers other people's experiences led them to," they opened up to us.

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair When she tells you shes having dinner with her brother... while you're having dinner with her brother

tickflasher , bluejeanimages Report

Final score:

230points

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OwenHasADHD 1 year ago

No, no, it’s obvious the brother is just moving so fast he’s in two places at once! She’s definitely not cheating on you!!

15points

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People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair His phone said 'no caller id' instead of 'No Caller ID

criminalsiren , MargJohnsonVA Report

Final score:

220points

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Reinaldo Fuentes 1 year ago (edited)

Language-savvy people will spot this in an instant. I used to moderate a forum a bazillion years ago and the easiest way to spot sock-puppets was just to let them talk their talk. People are amazingly POOR at pretending to be someone else when it comes to their idiolect. So easy to spot.

18points

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People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair Oddly specific as this is how I knew- the girl he was cheating with was conspicuous in absence. He told me everything about his co-workers except for this one. I thought something was going on and sadly, I was right.

For anyone who’s reading this and either has suspicions or has been cheated on, I need you to know it’s not a reflection on you. It’s not your fault, and you will be okay. <3

BettieKat , zoranzeremski Report

Final score:

216points

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OwenHasADHD 1 year ago

Yeah, it’s really not a reflection on you. It’s a reflection on the kind of person that cheater is.

60points

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Meanwhile, we were interested to get the redditor's opinion on why people cheat and their take on what the secret to a solid and happy romantic relationship is.

"I don’t think there’s a clear-cut answer to why people cheat, but I think a lack of communication is a big factor at play," u/Kindayoungbutok said.

"I believe communication and a real sense of trust are key to a healthy and long-lasting relationship. For me personally as well, I think some personal space could do couples some good. I see people engulf each other in themselves and make their lives synonymous. I don’t think that’s healthy. I think that is a recipe for resentment."

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair When they accuse you of accusing them of cheating - and that has nothing to do with the conversation. At all.

sherivero , DC_Studio Report

Final score:

185points

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OwenHasADHD 1 year ago

Isn’t that called projecting? I could be wrong though

69points

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People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair When my partner was cheating, he was really oversensitive to any implication that I didn't trust him. I'd text something like 'what are you doing?' and he'd get all defensive when it was really just a straight-up question on my part.

sravll , nebojsa_ki Report

Final score:

184points

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OwenHasADHD 1 year ago

Yeah…I don’t support those BS “trust tests” that people do sometimes, but just a simple question should not be met with defensiveness and hostility.

57points

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People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair Your gut. Always always always trust your gut.

Pfannkuchen-Nippel , Pixabay Report

Final score:

178points

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Stardust she/her 1 year ago

My gut feeling never works for me so if I trusted it in this situation, I’d end up falsely blaming any significant other.

49points

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There are four main reasons why people are unfaithful to their partners, according to Lucia F. O'Sullivan Ph.D. The first is sexual dissatisfaction: the person might want more variety or more frequent love-making. That forces them to look for alternatives to their significant other.

Something else that can lead to infidelity is emotional dissatisfaction. For instance, someone starts seeing their partner in a different, less positive light. Meanwhile, they might be putting their trust in someone else—a colleague, friend, or a stranger, to whom they’re opening up and sharing private information with.

Two other common reasons why people are unfaithful include feeling neglected by their partner and angry at their SO, hoping to ‘punish’ them by breaking their heart.

#10

My ex used to get so angry if I walked in the door and went to pee right away. I drive an hour home from work due to traffic. Having to pee is not abnormal. He made it a thing. The bathroom was right inside the door, and he would be at the other end of the house. Apparently going into the bathroom before seeing him was equivalent to me washing off the scent of my lover. Every time he accused me of anything, looking back, that’s exactly what he was guilty of.

Kindayoungbutok Report

Final score:

174points

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Wendy Herman 1 year ago (edited)

Classic Projection. I would often get screamed at for taking too long at the grocery store, on nights when he had no plans & was available to "babysit" his own kids. Other nights, he went to martial arts classes (2-3x/wk). Each class ended at 8pm, but he often didn't come home till after midnight. He was "hanging w/ the dudes" who were at least a decade younger than he was, unmarried & fancy-free. His Dad has passed away at only 42, so it may have been early-onset midlife crisis? I was in such deep denial, b/c we had 2 little kids, and I had no family I could turn to for any support, even just emotional. The divorce turned out to be the Best thing, even as gut-wrenching as it was. Hubby #2 turned out to be my reward, and we've now been married 20+ yrs. I had to get over "kicked puppy syndrome" 1st, tho, before I could open my heart again. Choose the sweet guy, ladies. There's really no such thing as "too nice". We deserve nice, not abuse of any kind.

81points

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#11

If they ask you to open up the relationship, they're either already cheating or they have someone in mind and want to do it without the guilt.

Angel_OfSolitude Report

Final score:

156points

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Josy 1 year ago (edited)

Well this is how an open relationship works.

40points

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#12

Here’s a fun one courtesy of my dad and his second wife: when the tire tread pattern on the fresh snow in your driveway matches the uncommon tires on your brother-in-law’s new work vehicle.

*Edit: got way more confused replies than I expected on this. My dad’s second wife (not my mother) was having an affair with my uncle (my dad’s sister’s husband, HIS brother-in-law) and my dad figured it out after coming home early from work one night and noticing a distinctive tire width and tread pattern in his driveway that matched my uncle’s work truck, who had no reason for being there that night.*

*He went inside and asked her if had been there and she acted surprised and denied it. He then mentioned the tire marks and why he recognized them and the house of cards promptly crumbled.*

nbd789 Report

Final score:

149points

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N Miller 1 year ago

I had to get the red string and push pins out to follow that tangled web of relationships.

90points

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However, something else to consider is that the opportunity to cheat can actually lead to cheating! O’Sullivan notes that opportunity is “necessary but not sufficient” for infidelity to take place.

“We should not underestimate the power of opportunity, especially in situations in which we feel less responsible or unlikely to be held accountable. Being intoxicated, at a wild party, or far away from home (where you are feeling anonymous) can lead to infidelity,” she writes.

#13

When you finally get off of work early for once after working doubles and instead of txting your boyfriend that you’re on your way home you stop and get their favorite McDonald’s meal and iced coffee with your last $10 until payday as a sweet surprise I’m home/I love you gesture and you’re greeted in the hallway with them coming towards you with a shocked and angry look saying “you were trying to catch me doing something” as you’re standing there holding the food and drink in your hands like👁👁
👄
🍟🍔☕️

We were together 6 years before I got the guts to leave. It was only a couple weeks after that happened.

UsedQuiet2862 Report

Final score:

148points

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Spocks's Mom 1 year ago

Aww. ☹️I hope you made them wear his iced coffee.

58points

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#14

When you find incriminating messages and the first thing she ask you is how far you went back into the message history.

She proceeds to get mad at you for violating her trust by looking at her computer even though you asked her several times (calmly and patiently) to be honest about the situation because you felt like you were going crazy.

When the divorce process starts and she decide to call you at work and tell you you can't prove anything but I let her know I took phone pics of the conversations. She flips out.

When I move out and he (her ex high school bf) moves in right after.

The month our divorce became final they get married 3 months after.

They have a child shortly after that.

Anyhow thank god it happened because while the feelings sucked and felt unsurvivable, I dodged a big a*s bullet and my current gf of several years now is wonderful and I really do feel like everything had to happen for me to end up where I ultimately needed to be.

Lividshadow Report

Final score:

144points

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Vicki Doggurl 1 year ago

I love how the third person turns into first person… mid story. :)

43points

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#15

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair their “co-worker” sends a “goodnight babe. I love you” text in the middle of the night..

CL_from_the_TL , amenic181 Report

Final score:

135points

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OwenHasADHD 1 year ago

That’ll do it

60points

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Cheating, according to Psychology Today, is a habit. If you’ve done it once, you’re more likely to do it again… and again, and again. It’s not a guarantee that someone will most definitely have an affair if they’ve had one or more before (aka “once a cheater, always a cheater”), but past actions can be used to at least model some basic behavior trends.

People who are narcissistic, score low on agreeableness, and are interested in having multiple partners are more likely to be unfaithful. However, as O’Sullivan points out, “cheating is so widespread that a handful of personality traits or attitude profiles are not going to effectively capture why people cheat.”

#16

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair You catch them having sex with someone else. It even worse if they don't stop.

GoHomePig , nd3000 Report

Final score:

113points

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Raelene Christie 1 year ago

The biggest shock was it was a guy he played football with!

44points

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#17

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair Name dropping. When they bring someone up over and over in even the most tangentially related situations. If they say it's an innocuous friendship or a collegue but their name keeps coming up all the time, chances are you're right to be concerned.

NezuminoraQ , imagesourcecurated Report

Final score:

113points

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Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago

Or they just so happen to be with this person a lot due to being good friends... I talk about my friends a lot

76points

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#18

When you get a STD when you were previously clean.

No-Possibility4256 Report

Final score:

112points

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Mistiekim 1 year ago

“My boyfriend told me I got gonorrhea from sitting on a tractor in my bathing suit.” A Seinfeld classic

56points

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#19

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair When your wife becomes pregnant and you had a vasectomy 10 years ago.

get-r-done-idaho , Leah Kelley Report

Final score:

106points

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Shark Lady 1 year ago

It's not unheard of for a vasectomy to fail, so maybe get it checked out with your doctor before pulling the plug on your relationship

122points

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#20

Changing passwords to devices after being okay with you having access to them. Lack of intimacy over long stretches of time. No longer wanting to sleep next to you at all, go on dates, or do anything a couple would usually do. And my biggest flag is finding things that you're damn sure aren't yours, but they try to pass the item off like it's always been yours.

I'll never have 'solid' proof that I was cheated on, but my instincts were screaming it when our sex life went away, then he wanted to sleep on the couch every single night. Then he started changing his passwords as my paranoia kicked in. First fight happened at this point. Next came him keeping me out of photos on purpose that he would share on his social media accounts, just in case people thought we were dating, which we were. That was when I caught him talking to someone through PS4 and online, she thought he was single. Fight two happened then and I was in denial because he was gaslighting me so much. It escalated to him wanting to be gone every weekend 'to a buddy's house' and I was never allowed to come along and eventually I found makeup in my car after one of those Pal Weekends. I don't wear makeup unless it's a special occasion, usually, and when I do wear it, it's only around my eyes so I know this didn't belong to me as it was lip gloss. Final fight and we didn't stay together.

To everyone out there, it usually starts small and gets bigger over time. Trust yourself to see the signs and leave.

DarkInkPixie Report

Final score:

97points

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Florence O'Grady 1 year ago

Trust your God given guts people.

22points

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#21

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair My ex would sleep with her phone under her pillow. I had an idea it was happening and would keep an eye on this guys MySpace. Then he posted one of the questionnaire things that were popular at the time, one of the questions was who did you last kiss? And his answer was my ex.

MySpace Tom had my back.

Edit: a lot of you seem to think that she might have been browsing the internet, this was a time before internet was available on your phone, there was nothing to do on a phone other than call and text.

Most phones also didn’t screen locks with passwords or facial recognition, anyone could get on your phone so the best way to avoid this would be hide it. Or sleep with it under your pillow so if someone does try to get it, they wake you up.

Cophed , dolgachov Report

Final score:

94points

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Lizz 1 year ago

Had this happen to me only it was upside down on the coffee table. Got off work early and stopped by a "friend 's" house ( I knew my so was cheating with her) with the thought of catching him there.... I didn't see him but her phone screen starts lighting up every couple of minutes.... And it got awkward and I left. Turns out he was either in the bathroom or her bedroom the whole time....

30points

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#22

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair Phone keeps ringing but he won't answer it

karly__45 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

89points

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Little Wonder 1 year ago

I do this and I'm single lol

74points

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#23

When they suddenly start taking extra interest in their appearance and getting in shape by “going for walks” even up to 10 pm by the time they return and they don’t answer your worried calls because “they had music on with headphones”. And when you ask them why they didn’t answer it’s because “they didn’t hear the calls come in” despite you having the exact same phone and know that the incoming calls cut over the music.

trevb75 Report

Final score:

83points

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ADDee 1 year ago

That deserves extra points for stupidity!

26points

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#24

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair When they randomly start arguments for no reason or just start being disrespectful out of the blue.

Egg_Anxious , nebojsa_ki Report

Final score:

77points

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Lakota Wolf 1 year ago

That could indicate a LOT of different things, not just cheating.

57points

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#25

If they accuse you of cheating constantly

niceguy-365 Report

Final score:

74points

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Lisa H 1 year ago

Projecting AND gaslighting at the same time. A twofer! Woohoo/s

24points

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#26

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair When my husband cheated, it was definitely the phone. He was hiding at night when he’d go to bed. Also, wouldn’t ever let me go to work related get togethers that the other spouses would attend.

Pinkbuttercream85 , YuriArcursPeopleimages Report

Final score:

73points

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Lisa H 1 year ago

Umm, "husband"? Not "ex-husband"? Sorry to sound clichéd, but once a cheater, always a cheater. Even if they physically stop cheating, they can't stop emotionally cheating and that is just as devastating.

5points

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#27

I guess I kinda allowed this to happen, but it still hurt just the same:

It was a couple of months after my Grandpa passed, and I hadn't given her the D at all in that time. Funny thing grief.....it f***s up so many things in the body.......anyway, in my grief ridden stupor, I trusted her when she said she was going for a drive with a friend to cut loose a bit. I was okay with it because i wanted her to have a good time and not be stuck in the house with my depressed a*s. She got home in a good mood and I didn't think anything of it till she went to wash *just* her underwear. I checked her phone that night after she fell asleep, and apparently, she had been talking to this guy for about a month. They had done the deed, and she wanted to make me out as the bad guy when I confronted her about it, with the evidence from her phone, saying I "pushed her to it by not having sex with her." I kicked her out in a hury, and don't really remember much except she was the one yelling and screaming. I was pretty much just numb, and I don't think I really proceeded it till almost 2 weeks later.

wolf23_ Report

Final score:

72points

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Melancholic_ing 1 year ago

It *definitely* was not your fault.

52points

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#28

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair You’re at a party and the lead singer of a band starts singing a song about your girlfriend entitled “Scotty Doesn’t Know”

cajunfid , RODNAE Productions Report

Final score:

70points

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Conan 1 year ago

so I guess we are just going to put stupid s**t from movies on this list, this is from the movie Euro trip

49points

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#29

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair They admit to you they still have feelings for a “friend” they had romantic history with and continue to spend alone time with and get upset that you call them an ex 💀 Reality can be whatever they want.

Voltundra , simbiothy Report

Final score:

67points

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LizzieBoredom 1 year ago

Some of these are not really signs, they're more like roadblocks with flashing lights and police tape warning you there's a sheer cliff drop-off 6 feet ahead.

33points

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#30

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair An interesting one I haven't seen in the comments yet:
They start doing more, more small gifts, more help around the house, and simply just more involved in the relationship. This isn't always the reason why there was a sudden shift, but this can be an easily missed sign. The shift can happen because they feel guilty and are trying to make it up to you, it could be them trying to manipulate you into never even considering the idea of them cheating because they're so considerate, or maybe it's them trying to make it up to you without telling you.

This isn't a sign of cheating on its own though, it's just a sign that maybe you need to pay more attention and be alert to the relationship. The reasoning for paying more attention is: maybe they're struggling with depression or stress, or they've realized they've been a bit absent, or maybe you have, or any other number of reasons; Which is why it's a sign To be alert and figure out why there's a shift.

TheFrostyrune , Kim Stiver Report

Final score:

65points

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Lizz 1 year ago

Told him I wanted a divorce and all of a sudden he's doing all of the above.... I still want a divorce.

31points

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#31

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair When you catch them admitting it over a security camera to their ex while you're out of state...

RiggerZilver , Erik Mclean Report

Final score:

62points

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Mav Mav 1 year ago

stalker vibes

-3points

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#32

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair When they suddenly stop making time for you

Js_On_My_Yeet , Dương Nhân Report

Final score:

60points

POST

Mav Mav 1 year ago

i miss the time-makers

10points

#33

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair when you come home and someone has eaten your jam

B-dubs_ , Cats Coming Report

Final score:

59points

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Kathryn Baylis 1 year ago (edited)

Anyone else think those slices of bread are shaped like d**ks? Or is it just me?

83points

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#34

They tell you in a moment of anger, then try to pull it back.

Johnnymi25 Report

Final score:

58points

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Mari 1 year ago

You forgot you had given her an extra key?

14points

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#35

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair These days, watch their phone behaviour, for starters.

Do they hide the screen when you walk behind them? Have they added a password or changed the password? (This may be innocent but could be suspicious.) Are they texting into the wee hours of the night while neglecting you? Have they disabled the little notifications that pop up without having to unlock the phone?

Some of these might not be a problem on their own, but you'll often notice other behaviours at the same time, like they ignore and neglect you more, find reasons to be in another room, take their phone to the bathroom all the time, or go for lots of breaks away from you.

You're on the lookout for secretive behaviours, neglect, and distance.

cabalavatar , picjumbo.com Report

Final score:

54points

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Woundwort42 1 year ago

Disabling the notifications is an important security measure, they can, and have been, used to hack peoples bank accounts when a thief has obtained both a bank card and a phone (often theft from a gym locker). They set up internet banking on a new device and the security code shows up on the phone without needing to be unlocked

24points

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#36

- You call her cell Saturday night, a guy answers tell you he is your wife's boyfriend.

- Your spouse has had emergency meetings about work every Saturday night for the past 15 weeks. Can't explain why an Amazon order puller has so many late night emergency work meetings.

- You found the video she made on r/gonewild. Her, her best friend and her best friend's husband in a three-way...in the master bedroom of the apartment you just moved into

- She has a lot of male cousins who visit. Or men she calls her cousins

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Final score:

27points

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Mav Mav 1 year ago

sounds like you stayed for the entertainment

20points

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#37

when their roommates ask to meet with you privately, and tell you that your gf was having someone over in their room with the music on loud

the same thing she'd do when we'd get busy at her place

edit: first time ever, RIP my inbox ...

more context: this was in 2009, we were almost 4 years into our relationship, I was getting ready to defend my thesis for my Master's and she was applying to PhD programs. I was willing to move with her wherever she went, and even had my mom help me find a nice white gold ring with a sapphire (the ex-g/f hated diamonds) as an engagement ring.

wolfmanpraxis Report

Final score:

26points

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Florence O'Grady 1 year ago

I hope you thanked that roommate. I would hate to get married and find out later that my "friends" knew they were cheating on me and still let me get married.

12points

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#38

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair When they become cagey about things they're normally open about.

Have known a couple people who did this. Very open, liked to talk about their entire day, would answer near any question. Then suddenly they'd be out on a night with their friend/s and the details of the night could be summed up in a couple words or there'd be odd gaps in the story while they remember and try to sort through it all.

Hobbes09R , Liza Summer Report

Final score:

25points

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Lisa H 1 year ago

In other words, can't keep their own story straight.

2points

#39

It's happened to me a few times now, and invariably there is a seismic shift in the relationship. I can remember pinpointing the day something changed, and suddenly you aren't being texted first, they're busy and can't hang out as much, and sex almost always stops or becomes very infrequent. The partner seems colder, further away, and less enthusiastic. It's hard to describe, but you can feel something is off. At least, it's always been that way, in my opinion.

What's worse is the times when you confront them about the change in the dynamic, and they tell you nothing's wrong, or nothing's changed, and you feel like you're going crazy because you know something off, but you don't want to push it and be needy or clingy. And you suffer silently until you push it or the truth inevitably comes out.

Ramshacked Report

Final score:

25points

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Kathryn Baylis 1 year ago (edited)

I’ve been married 21 years. If your relationship is long term, there will be peaks and valleys of desire. Neither my husband nor I have ever even thought of cheating, but there have been periods when we just weren’t in the mood, followed by periods when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. You can’t live with someone 24/7/365 and have every second be like a fairy tale. People aren’t perfect, and life isn’t perfect like the movies. You’re in a real life relationship with a real person who, if they’re old enough, comes into it with emotional baggage of their own—-just like you.There’s also the phenomenon of still deeply loving someone when you hate their guts—-today. In other words, you’re having a disagreement, or you’re in a mood where everything irritates you, or something that will pass, and your love will still be there when it does. Of course, if this happens in a relatively new relationship where you should still be in the honeymoon phase, then listen to your Spidey sense.

23points

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#40

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair They’re getting texts from Pizza Hut

JoYac35 , Porapak Apichodilok Report

Final score:

24points

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Mav Mav 1 year ago

Your bae's cheating on you with a pizza? I'm sorry.

11points

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#41

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair Glued to their phone and texting a lot more. Also a lot more cancelled plans and excuses for not seeing each other.

mackinoncougars , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

24points

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#42

I've never been cheated on to my knowledge but I suspected a person I dated recently of cheating. I'm not sure if it was true or my insecurities but the reasoning was.

1. Hung out with former FWB and didn't text me back the entire day while she did

2. Had to ask for info, she said she wouldn't want to know if situations were flipped

3. After I'd accused her of cheating we hooked up and she kept hiding her face and didn't want to kiss.

4. Refusal to show proof on my terms and insisted I needed to trust her blindly

5. Giggled/laughed when I asked if they'd hooked up on this past trip

All these were enough for me to have enough doubt that I was or would be cheated on. Either I'm not ready or I got out early enough to avoid real hurt

MysticMoteToter Report

Final score:

23points

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#43

So, this happened a very long time ago. I had recently filed for divorce from my ex husband and I began to date another guy. I was very naïve about dating since I hadn't dated anyone in 20 years. This guy showered me with roses, dinners, jewelry and he liked to drink. I didn't understand anything about binge drinking. As time went on I started to see that it was going to be a problem. When he drank, he became a different person and one day he came home with a new cellphone for me and he help me set everything up. I didn't know at the time, he bought it so he could keep tabs on me. One day I was in the shower getting ready for work and he came to my house and stormed in the bathroom and ripped the shower curtain back while I was bathing and he started yelling at me about not answering the cell phone. Then he started accusing me of cheating with my male coworkers. He terrorized me one night, drunk and out of his mind with a gun. That was it. I did a midnight move and I was gone. I found out that he started cheating on me when he felt he couldn't control me anymore. I should have known better.

Eott59 Report

Final score:

23points

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Mav Mav 1 year ago

lucky you lived, lady. omfg!

12points

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#44

They answer "It wasn't me!" No matter what evidence there is.

I mean, picture this: They were both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor. And they try to gaslight you, and say it wasn't them.

You're listening to their story, it makes no sense at all.

lordofedging81 Report

Final score:

21points

POST

I Am John 1 year ago

Shaggy!

12points

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#45

When your driving by a mutual acquaintance house, see her car, go to the front door and see her and mutual acquaintance half naked making out on the couch through the front window. You knock on the door and without looking to see who it was, acquaintance flips you off and waves you away. You, out of anger, punch and break acquaintance's front window. Since acquaintance doesn't know who it is he grabs a bat and runs out the door...but you are already at your car driving away. You drive a very recognizable car so he knows and calls the cops. You get lucky and the female cop feels very bad for you and let's you off with a warning because you offer to pay for the window. Turns out it's a 110 year old house and the window is $700. So now your out $700 and a girl friend of 4 years.

thebigsqueeze2021 Report

Final score:

21points

POST

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago

Damn

3points

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#46

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair When they suddenly start keeping their phone to themselves when previously you had an open phone policy.

ExoticThunderstorm , Rido81 Report

Final score:

20points

POST

#47

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair They stop being intimate with you and also guarding and sleeping with their phone under the pillow

Katrinab0831 , RossHelen Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Shark Lady 1 year ago

All these people hiding phones under their pillows are very fortunate that they haven't set their bed on fire.

7points

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#48

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair They're "working late" but their paychecks aren't changing.

MichiganGeezer , halfpoint Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Helen Bennett 1 year ago

Sadly this doesn't necessarily mean any bad boundaries other than with your work time.

6points

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#49

When your stomach feels distance and disconnect it’s time to dig and hope your gut instinct was wrong this time. Mine wasn’t and found out all I needed to know to end my marriage.

redditbandit01 Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Mav Mav 1 year ago

my stomach feels like that after curry, bro

7points

#50

You come home exhausted from work and your partner accuses you of cheating.

ElectricalRush1878 Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Display_Name 1 year ago

I got accused of having sex while I was working at a daycare. WTF am I having sex with?!

15points

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#51

People Share 30 Signs That Scream Someone Is Having A Secret Affair They have a burner phone or burner social media account that either you don't know about or they won't friend you on

ruvol23 , Grey_Coast_Media Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Clown fish 1 year ago

Or 19 my ex with the lots of sim cards and phones

1point

#52

You’re no longer a priority

HuhWolf Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Lisa H 1 year ago

Not always a sign of cheating, but definitely a giant red flag regardless.

3points

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#53

Phone suddenly facedown during meals, tv time, etc.

I know some people do this out of politeness, but if they suddenly start doing it when they never did before, that’s a pretty big giveaway they don’t want you to see notifications.

gioluipelle Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Thomas 1 year ago

I always put my phone down when I'm with someone and don't want to be disturbed by the outside world, unless it's urgent which would mean a phone call

5points

#54

When they get real antsy… like they’re afraid you know something

Goofalupus Report

Final score:

15points

POST

#55

That smell. You know the one I mean, too.

WolfOnHigh Report

Final score:

15points

POST

kate h 1 year ago

That smell for me was "freshly showered". Said he stayed at a friend's because he had been drinking and didn't want to drive. Got home at 6am smelling fresh as a daisy.

6points

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#56

When your wife's boyfriend offers to put you up at a hotel.

yParticle Report

Final score:

12points

POST

#57

They’re on their phone all the time and they take great pains in keeping you from it. If you knew their password and they’ve changed it and won’t tell you. Also they’ll start complaining that you don’t try them and they have no privacy. Even if this never bothered them in the past.

Embarrassed_Tax_6547 Report

Final score:

10points

POST

#58

When your SO micromanages your schedule

soon_zoo55 Report

Final score:

10points

POST

Mav Mav 1 year ago

bdsm in all forms

0points

#59

If your wife is playing "Second Life" and flirting with other guys on that platform.

CrazySteve73 Report

Final score:

6points

POST

Mav Mav 1 year ago

she likely looking for a second life

2points

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#60

Has two phones that belong to them under his or her expense which both have service.

Another is one makes a lot of money but most of it disappears in a week end while partner pays all bills thus why always short on money

Scrub_LordOfFlorida Report

Final score:

6points

POST

#61

She's having migraines all the time and John Redcorn, a spiritual healer, has not been able to correct them with 3 to 5 weekly sessions over 12 years.

Clay_Puppington Report

Final score:

4points

POST

Conan 1 year ago

so we are just going to add dumb s**t from King of the hill on this list?

7points

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What do you think ?

Enuya 1 year ago (edited)

Unpopular opinion: Cheating sucks, that's for sure. BUT it would happen far less often if ending unhappy marriages/relationships as an adult would be less criticized. Nobody bats an eye when a teenager changes partners every few months or even years. Adults do mistakes when it comes to relationships too AND they should be able to end it (yes, even when there are children in the picture, it's better to have happy, divorced parents than miserable married ones) without being treated like a villain. Not every love is for life and even when it is, sometimes people change and are better without each other.

28points

M Calad 1 year ago (edited)

I totally support your comment.

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While I definitely agree with your point, I do think it can be very hard to admit when things are over. Blind love has that effect on people.

Rare Cuts 1 year ago (edited)

Teenagers and adults should not have the same relationship behaviour

Amanda Lalonde 1 year ago

My marriage ended because I had cheated, I'm not proud of myself and our relationship had no intimacy for approximately 6-7 before the cheating, but I avoided spending any time with my ex. I had grown to hate being around him because it was always the same, video games, drinking,and bitching

With all due respect, that doesn't justify cheating. Sorry if you already know this, but you should have broken up with him first. You took the easy way out instead of the right way.

8points

Lisa H 1 year ago (edited)

I got one: when their best friend flat-out tells you they're cheating on you. I remained friends with the best friend and he was no longer the ex's best friend. Still friends, but not as close anymore. He probably resented his friend for putting him in that position. The ex's excuse? We hadn't talked in a while so he just assumed it was over. The reason we hadn't talked in a while? I was across the country in Marine Corps Recruit Training and he KNEW when I was going. What's more is he was also a Marine and knew better than anyone that I couldn't exactly walk up to the Drill Instructors and ask to use the phone to call my boyfriend. I call bullshît on this pathetic excuse, especially since I wrote him letters while I was in. Never once heard back, though...

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