During the night pee. I go to the toilet once or twice during the day and three times+ at night if I drink anything past 8pm!

This. But then I'll just need to pee a bunch so best I stay sitting upright and re-watching The Labrynth with the late, great David Bowie for the 1213th time.

Lol, yes.

When I make plans now I instantly regret them

Don't dress the same, fo sho. Work me has earrings, mascara and cute blazers. Home me has jam on her cheek and a mysterious stain on her sneakers.

This is why I don't buy anything that says those forbidden words.

Same here

LOL I can so relate. My husband;s butt is glued to the couch until I'm in the kitchen and then suddenly he has an important story to tell me that he must make eye contact with me and grab some ice tea. GET OUT!

I'm very guilty of this. I frequently am informed that the 'other day' I'm referring to was over a year ago

I hate that now when I speak I can hear my mothers voice, Aaaarghh!

A true moment of zen. Bonus points if you've got a pet somewhere nearby, equally excited to be doing nothing.

I hit pause, then go to google to search and then be on my phone for an hour before resuming the movie 🙄

If I don't set the alarm I'll be anxious, and then I cannot sleep at all, worrying if I'll overslept

Wish every morning could be like this

Happens in the blink of an eye. And that eye now requires devices to see properly.

The bra man, the bra, oh yeah the shoes too

Pick up religion. Then you can "pray about it" and "see how the spirit leads me"

The Grand Poobah!

Yup...... I got teased HORRIBLY for my f***y pack back in the day, and now they're all over the place

Bob & Patrick s pants above the fire 😋

Also, the me who cooks dinner on Monday isn't the same me cooking on Friday. Dinner? It's called a big heaping plate of figure it tf out.

Or when you have a favorite stove top 😅

Then you check, and you got so much freaking time, but your brain won't shut the eff back up so you can go back to sleep!

i can just picture all the neighborhood kids getting shoved to the ground while adults are running to the corner

Yes. Just yes.

previously on Lost. there goes the 1st 10 minutes of the show

Don’t forget the snap, crackle and pop

Cheese slice.

tiZ bUt A sCrAtCh

I'm in my 40s, and I do that still.

Yes!! Especially books! In Greece they're so damn expensive!

I'm pretty sure I have something to do with some of the people that are on the missing person list 😬

My baby spinach just got its drivers license and it judges me constantly. Pfft.

I dOn'T wAnT a LoT fOr ChRiStMaS

That's exactly my life

Oh come on..... a CLEAN shirt without a stain!!!!

Everyone knows you don't have to listen to your own advice

I can barely party like I did in my 40’s. (Shhh, close to 60 now) why do I feel like I’m still growing up?

ok wait..... MS TRUNCHBULL?!?!?!? edit: how and why did y'all upvote me for being dumb LMAO and TY

I always joke that my dogs must work night shifts without my knowledge

"no, i'm just ugly"

This isn't getting old, this is OCD, friends. Getting old is "Eh, I've got insurance. It'll probably be fine."

Same. 30 isn't old (says 42 y/o me)

2AM! Then just go to bed then!

great tip,try randomly wriggling your toes (just toes not feet) and focus on that when the "thoughts" start,it distracts the mind,for about 10secs a time, you'll be surprised how effective it is (,takes a bit of practice,but once you get the hang of it...it works wonders) ,I think it comes from a technique used to combat jetlag. alternatively, there's a visualization technique...in your minds eye picture/imagine yourself getting out of bed and slowly getting dressed all the while seeing yourself doing every little action,then "when dressed,go out for a walk in the cold dark night" can also do a similar exercise but picture yourself going very mundane tasks, repeat if necessary ie: washing up by fans,vaccuming etc....they do work, have used them for years when really struggling to sleep....good luck 👍

Monica bang! God I loved that show. All nine seasons. The fanfic they tacked on after that was attrocious, but then fanfic is always overwhelmingly cringe-inducing.

Dish washer🤔? Ohh the Tupperware cabinet thing

It took a lot of energy to eat all the cake, so it is null and void......well that is what we should be telling ourselves

A TJ Maxx racoon who lives in housewares.

There is no in between.

What a body though!

The horror. I'm too tired for that