Offensively, James Harden is outstanding. Defensively, he’s just out standing.

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Michael

Michael

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12 months ago

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Pretty true

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How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?

One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.

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What do you call a basketball player that misses dunks?

Alley Whoops.

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I don’t usually roll a joint, but when I do, it’s my ankle.

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Where do basketball players eat in the morning?

Dunkin’ Donuts.

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If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot.

Because I’d always miss you.

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Basketball players are the most upstanding members of society.

They really are people to look up to.

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My friend Tim the basketball player is so stubborn!

He’s always doing things the Hardaway.

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Why are basketball players messy eaters?

They’re always dribbling.

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What do basketball players do when they can no longer see?

They become referees.

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What do an angry rabbit and an NBA player have in common?

Mad hops.

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Who is the best Star Wars character at basketball?

Kobe Wan Kenobi.

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Where do point guards take their dates after the game?

To the Basket Ball.

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What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common?

They both get negative returns.

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How were the scrambled eggs like the losing basketball team?

They’d both been beaten.

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If a basketball player gets an athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?

Missle toe!

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Why was the basketball court all wet?

Apparently players dribbled all over it.

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What do you call a pig who plays basketball?

A ball hog.

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The Cavaliers are a team in transition… they’re going from bad to worse.

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How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one. But he gets money, a car, and four credit hours for it.

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What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?

A tall tale.

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Did you hear that the USC basketball coach is dressing only 7 players for the tournament?

The rest can dress themselves.

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Basketball stars don’t pass away – they just crossover.

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I invited my flat-earther friend to play basketball.

He brought a frisbee with him.

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What do you call a shark that plays basketball?

A Sharq.

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What do you call a basketball player who smells really good?

Kevin Deodurant.

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Why is the basketball arena hot after the game?

Because all the fans have left.

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Why couldn’t the basketball player listen to his music?

Because he broke a record!

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What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?

A basketball coach.

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Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA?

Supposedly he’s a whistleblower.

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God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell.

“I know for a fact we are gonna win,” said God. “We have all the best players up here: Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on.”
“I wouldn’t count on that, God,” said Satan. “You see, down here, we have all the referees.”

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What is the urologist’s favorite part in basketball?

The dribbles.

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For what reason do basketball players love cookies?

They can dunk them.

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What did tanning cream do to a famous basketball player?

It LeBronzed James.

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Why do orphans miss half their basketball season?

Because they don’t have home games.

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Which dinosaur was the best at playing basketball?

The LeBrontosaurus.

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What do you call a basketball player that always makes mistakes?

LeWrong James.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

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What’s the difference between the New York Knicks and a dollar bill?

You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

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What is the difference between a Suns fan and a baby?

The baby will stop whining after a while.

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If a basketball team was chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?

Five after nine.

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Why couldn’t Iverson pass the first grade?

He couldn’t pass the tests.

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What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring?

A senior citizen.

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What did March say to all the madness?

What’s all that bracket?

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What does a Bulls fan do after watching his team win?

Rewind the tape.

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What do you do when you see a lion with a basketball?

Get out of the way.

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Our basketball coach loves dogs… he has three-pointers.

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I talk a lot of trash on the basketball court because my skills are garbage.

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A “Bawler” is a sad basketball player.

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Forget about it, not even Cinderella is getting to this ball.

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Basketball sued tennis for no reason… now, they have to go to court.

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What would you get if you crossed a basketball with a newborn snake?

A bouncing baby boa.

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What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?

Michael Gourdan.

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Why can’t you get a fairly officiated basketball game in the jungle?

Because of the cheetahs.

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What type of cheese do basketball players love?

Swish cheese.

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Tennis has taught me that I can be better at basketball. Why?

Because it’s nothing but net when I play.

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I couldn’t figure out why the basketball kept getting bigger and bigger – then, it hit me!

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The anti-vax hoops team lost every game. They never took any shots.

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What did the cheese say when it made a basketball goal?

Swiss!

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Who is the poet laureate of basketball players?

Longfellow.

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What is Santa’s favorite basketball team?

The New York Old St. Nicks.

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Toronto missed out on an opportunity to call their basketball team the Torontosaurus Rexes.

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They always asked me if I play basketball because I was tall.

They stopped asking me that when I asked them if they play mini-golf.

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What do you call a fantasy show about basketball?

Hooper-natural.

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Which are the best animals in basketball?

A score-pion.

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If Shaquille O’Neal was a shade of blue, he would be Shaquille O’Teal.

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Why didn’t the nose make the basketball team?

He didn’t get picked.

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Why did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited?

Because he was always putting on Airs.

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I’ve got a great idea for an NBA-themed fast-food restaurant.

I call it Shake-Shaq.

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How did the guy with no hair do during his basketball game?

Oh, he bald.

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What did the devil worshiping basketball player say?

“Baal is life.”

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Been watching basketball lately, and I have to say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant.

He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.

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Why did the basketball team join a craft club?

Because they wanted to learn how to make baskets!

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What do you call a shrimp that’s really good at basketball?

Leprawn James.

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Basketball players are afraid of themselves.

They don’t like great heights.

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What is a basketball player’s favorite thing about astronomy?

Shooting stars.

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What do you call a monkey that wins back to back titles?

A chimpion.

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Where do basketball players get their uniforms?

New Jersey.

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I donated my old basketball hoop to the school for the blind.

It will be missed.

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α and β played a 1v1 basketball match.

β won, because it was Beta.

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When two Mexicans play basketball, what do you call them?

Juan On Juan.

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What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball and the 17th president?

Magic Johnson.

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What do you call basketball goals in Hawaii?

Hula hoops.

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Why are Muslims so good at playing basketball?

Because their religion says “I slam.”

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What do you get when you cross a farmer and a basketballer?

Lebarn James.

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Why does every tech company have a basketball hoop in the parking lot?

So people won’t have troubleshooting.

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Did you hear the Atlanta Hawks don’t have a website?

They can’t string three W’s together.

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Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team?

Because then New York City would want one too.

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Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?

He was learning how to draw fowls.

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What do cheerleaders drink before they go to a basketball game?

Root beer!

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Why did the ball hog not go to college?

Everyone knew he wouldn’t pass.

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Why is a referee like an angry chicken?

They both have foul mouths.

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What’s the difference between Carmelo Anthony and time?

Time passes.

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What do you call a dozen millionaires watching the playoffs on TV?

The Minnesota Timberwolves.

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What do Bulls fans do after Chicago wins the championship?

Rewind the VHS tape.

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What does a Kings fan do when his team wins the NBA Finals?

Turns off the Xbox.

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Why were the basketball team’s jersey’s so full of static?

The team was out of bounce.

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Cinderella was such a bad basketball player because her coach was a pumpkin.

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Basketball players stay cool in hot gyms by hanging out near the fans.

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I used to be addicted to basketball. But, then I rebounded.

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What is the favorite sport of a bass fish?

Bass-ketball. Duh.

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Why are the Dallas Mavericks going to change their name to the Possums?

Because they play dead at home and they die on the road.

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What’s the difference between a basketball player and a dog?

One drools; the other dribbles.

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Why do hoops players love donuts?

Because they can dunk them.

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I hear that Mr. Worldwide often gets called out in basketball. He’s always trying to travel.

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What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?

Slam Drunk!

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My dad is really good at basketball.

He always told me, “I’ve been Duncan all my life.”

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What’s the difference between Basketball players and Soccer players?

Basketball players get actual injuries.

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Why hasn’t Europe ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Europe isn’t a country.

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Why does Jesus get nervous when playing basketball?

He’s afraid of getting crossed up.

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What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?

Jump hook.

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Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams like to play basketball together?

He shoots, he scores.

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Why did the basketball player visit the bank?

His checks were all bouncing.

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Why are cats so bad as basketball?

They shoot too many hair balls.

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Why aren’t birds allowed to play basketball?

They commit too many fowls.

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Why do retired basketball players open a brewery?

Because they’ve got hops.

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What basketball player would be a great spokesperson for autumn?

Tacko Fall.

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Why’d the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the ref was blowing fowls.

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What do you call a Greek basketball player?

A hooplite.

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I was playing basketball with my 13 year old son and I beat him.

I probably wouldn't have if he hadn't won.

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Several minutes ago, the portly bald wizard made a basketball appear out of thin air.

I guess he was a sportscaster.

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Yao Ming started his own basketball team, guess the team name?

Crazy Reach Asians.

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I heard Donald Trump is going to build a wall with all the bricks the Boston Celtics laid tonight.

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Legend has it that basketball used to be played with glass beads, and we only started using rubber balls in the 1900s.

Switching was indeed a marbleless idea.

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Mr. Potato Head went to a basketball game last night.

He was a spec-tater.

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What policy means that ant schools are forced to expel their most promising basketball players?

Zero taller-ants.

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What violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?

Ghoul tending.

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How do you beat the crowd at a Nuggets game?

Wait until the game finishes.

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Why is the Westminister Dog Show held at Madison Square Garden?

Fans wanted to see someone other than the Knicks roll over and play dead there.

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The man walking through the airport with a basketball must’ve been traveling.

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Why did the elephants stampede the basketball court?

They wanted to play for the chargers.

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Why does an octopus perform poorly on a basketball court?

It’s always getting tentacle fouls.

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What’s the difference between treasury bonds and OKC fans?

Treasury bonds eventually mature.

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What do you call a ninja who is good at basketball?

A Kobe Shinobi!

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Why are frogs so good at basketball?

Because they always make jump shots.

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In what sport is a basket filled but never gets full?

Basketball.

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My buddy opened a tavern for basketball players, and there are already imitators.

Good thing he set the bar so high.

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What do basketball players call the first meal of the day?

Fast breaks.

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Did you hear about the basketball player who tried to shoot hoops on a hockey rink?

Scottie Slippen.

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What do you say when you miss a basket?

Shoot!

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The lake trout didn’t try out for the school’s basketball team because it was afraid of the net.

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Did you hear about that bloody hilarious basketball team?

The Hemoglobetrotters?

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A little-known college basketball rule is that players are not allowed to own more than five pet chickens.

They will be ejected from a game if they have more than five personal fowls.

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Prana jaya

Prana jaya

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1 month ago

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"Boost Your Performance with Up to 50% Off the Best Sports Gear!" for more info visit our website https://medium.com/@sakura.ichiru1998

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