When a friend of mine told me they had transitioned, I said to them that I might use their birth name, not with bad intentions at all, but because I had known them for so long as a certain name. Looking back, I actually feel guilty about that comment, as I feel it isn't very supportive or indicative of being a good ally

I knew trans woman. He was biologically male. He did not care which pronoun people used. I was introduced using the pronoun 'he', and that's what many people used. He did not change his name. It was still Dan. Some of the advice here would apply to anyone. (Don't say, "she, he, it whatever"!) But yes, some of the rules are made up and are not written down in some world-wide constitution.

Beans no

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Troux easy

Thank you for your response! Since that has been explained, I think that what is at the core of the main issue/debate about trans people is whether treating them based on their biological sex or treating them based on their preferred gender is right. (Like if they should be allowed in their preferred locker rooms or sports, what pronouns to call people, whether or not someone would date someone who is trans, etc)

@TheSneakyNinja Yes that is exactly what I am saying. Gender is a human made concept. Sex is biological, gender is mental. You can be biologically male but identify as a female and have female body parts. Biologically you are still male but mentally and physically you are a female. Also please do not downvote me or TheSneakyNinja, they were asking a genuine question and I am giving them a genuine response, thank you

Yes, I suppose that gender-nuetral bathrooms and locker rooms, as well as male and female ones, would probably be a solution that would satisfy everyone. Of course, you only need gender-neutral bathrooms with bathrooms that have several stalls. We don't need restrictions on one-room bathrooms that are designed for one person to use at a time. As for transgenders participating in sports, I do see how that could be a problem since biological males are often stronger than biological females and this would likely give a transgender female an advantage in women's sports. An example of this is Fallon Fox. Since Fallon's biological sex is male it can be said that Fallon has an advantage over the biological women. I don't mean to be offensive by saying that btw. I'd like to know what you think about it. I agree that sports with both females and males could be a good solution for sports like soccer and baseball. These are important issues to discuss since they matter a lot to many people

I do think it would be wrong to make someone do something that they are uncomfortable with, but if everyone playing the sport is fine with a transgender teammate playing, then it should not be a problem. Even if that wasn't the original intention.

Intramural sports based on weight could be a good idea. I am not involved in any official league but I do play sports with my friends, both male, and female, and it has been fine. I do think that it is okay to separate based on biological sex as there are biological differences between people, but that doesn't mean that there can't also be sports that include transgender people as well. I think we could probably have both. However, some could still think that is discriminating against transgender people. What do you think?

Yes people will say "Omg that is definitely discrimination against trans people." but based on the fact that a lot of trans people already can't play sports because they are trans, I think that weight based sports that include trans people or intramural sports are our best options. It sucks that these are what we have but in my opinion if I were trans and into sports I would rather be on a weight based team or intramural team rather than be kicked out of sports altogether. Which some people might not like that and it might feel like we're just giving trans people the scraps, but we can't force people to play against or with someone that might make them uncomfortable. I wish we could but that's just going to breed hate and resentment which will lead to violence or bullying. We have to take one step at a time, starting with gender neutral bathrooms and locker rooms, then getting sports teams for them, whether they are weight based, intramural or trans only. 1/2

I do suppose that a biological male would have an advantage over biological females in a sport. Other they might not if they have taken estrogen treatments? This might make them more like a biological female in strength, although size might still be a problem. I think that the best solution would probably be intramural sports categorized by weight, like wrestling? Or just intramural sports in general. And I agree that these issues need to be discussed because they matter to a lot of people. I really don't understand why we are getting downvoted just because we are having a friendly discussion, but oh well, trolls will be trolls

So basically you are saying that gender is in the brain and that the bodies people have aren't necessarily male or female?

@TheSneakyNinja I think that gender neutral places should exist for this exact reason. It would make cis people uncomfortable to change around trans people (this isn't transphobic, it would just make them uncomfortable) and we can't really force them to accept that. So gender neutral locker rooms/bathrooms should be created, anyone can change or do their business in these, if it makes cis people uncomfortable to change in there than they can use the assigned gender ones. And for sports I think they should be able to play on the team that matches their gender because having someone who is biologically female but looks like a male would be weirder than having a ftm male on the men's team. Or they could even join a intramural sport that has both males and females on it. But that's just my take on things

2/2. Trans only sports might sound like discrimination, it's really not, it's just a way for them to be able to play the sport they love and it's probably the easiest to coordinate. After we manage to fight for trans only sports then we can open the lines of communication for the possibility of either weight based sports or intramural sports. Then after that we can work towards getting them on the team they want to be on.

Thank you for responding! I do think I understand this a little more. I have another question (You don't have to answer. I don't mean to bother you), and I do think it is a very, very controversial one. What about bathrooms, sports, locker rooms, and other activities/places that have been separated based on biological sex (male and female) to create privacy or fair competition for years? Should transgender individuals be allowed in activities/places that do not match their biological sex? Since the purpose of these activities/places is to separate people based on biological sex, is it wrong to keep them this way?

@HarperTheCentaur What do you think of gender-neutral bathrooms like this? There would be zero chance of making someone else uncomfortable because of the stall gaps or because someone in the bathroom looks like they are of the opposite gender since each of these is designed for single-person use. Of course, it won't be easy to make new bathrooms in every building but people could do it at least in the new ones. sap_gender...site-1.jpg

That is a tough one! In general I would say, don't question it. If that person wants to participate in those activities or go to those places that's their decision, and if they don't, that's still their decision. For example, I'm nonbinary and have a pretty fluid gender, meaning my gender is different at different times. My pronouns stay the same, but I will "present" differently-that is, wear different clothes and makeup. So on a day that I feel masculine and look like a boy, I'll use the men's restroom if I can get away with it. On a day that I feel masculine and look like a girl, I'll use the women's restroom if I can get away with it. And then etcetera.

Omg, Harper, I'm genderfluid! :D Nice to meet you! And SneakyNinja, those bathroom would be AMAZING.

People could also just make all bathrooms rows of single-use rooms instead of stalls. Then no one would be uncomfortable since there is zero chance of anyone seeing inside the room you are using since it's not a stall with giant cracks. If everyone did that this wouldn't even be an issue. I mean like this: sap_gender...ebsite.jpg

Also, I would like to know if you think that separating people based on biological sex in it itself is wrong. After all, why is it a problem to separate based on biological sex and not gender idenity if they truly are different things and one does not affect the other? Of course, people can cause violence to others (no matter what bathroom people use) but I am speaking about separation in it of itself. After all, by this definition, they are different things. (This also applies to sports). What do you think?

Aww! thank you so much :) that means a lot! And your right, midweasterns gotta stick together!

CarO love

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Don't Look like

Kiss Army

Kiss Army

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

Yes, that explanation really does help and makes sense in a way that never occurred to me before!! I also will call a person whatever pronoun they ask me, I just really have to get that mean English teacher out of my head... LOL!