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118
Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”
Interview With Expert
Dating can be tricky, especially when big life details come into play—like having kids. You see, children aren’t for everyone, so divorced parents getting into the dating game are at a bit of a disadvantage, unless they’re only interested in meeting others like them.
One guy was on a date with a woman he really liked when he mentioned he’d just dropped his kids off at his ex’s place. What he wasn’t prepared for was his date getting offended at that and ultimately insulting his kids. He turned to the web to tell his story.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
The dating game can be tough when you’re a divorced parent, as this guy found out in the rudest of ways
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/bar-kids-date-3.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He was on a date with a woman he was really interested in when he happened to mention he’d just dropped off his kids at his ex’s place
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/author_025f1204bc3dac32a17af6f56b04e4b1.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/author_505b2bc99281257b114436f260169d3e.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/bar-kids-date-1.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
Image credits: Aminaashfaq / Freepik (not the actual photo)
His date told him in no uncertain terms she didn’t even want to hear about his kids, let alone meet them
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/author_88b3f1cb70ba67b97a059574d8151c6c.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/bar-kids-date-2.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Not stopping there, she proceeded to start calling his kids vulgar names straight to his face
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/author_2924c94c2647d57ce5e0b4286caa1f98.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/author_c8efc8b9b9b4e59c20b1aa9f6f2e8b7a.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
Image credits: WatercressOk8030
Disgusted, the guy got up and left, but still turned to netizens to ask whether or not leaving his date in the dust had been a jerk move
OP begins his story by telling the community that he recently met a woman named Hope through his gaming group, and sparks were starting to fly. They were still in the “just talking” stage, and while she knew he was divorced, she had no clue he had two daughters. Then, one conversation changed everything.
During a casual pub trivia night, he mentioned dropping his daughters off at his ex’s place. Hope’s reaction? Immediate disgust. She declared she never wanted kids and didn’t even want to see or hear about his.
That would’ve been fine for OP, but then she started throwing out insults. OP says that’s when the whole night took a nosedive straight into “worst date ever” territory.
Trying to keep his cool, he politely told Hope to knock it off, but she doubled down. He wasn’t about to sit there and let someone trash-talk his kids, so he canceled his drink and left. No drama, no argument—just a swift exit.
Since then, he hasn’t heard from Hope, and honestly, he’s not sure he even wants to. The whole thing felt like a massive red flag. Unsettled, he still turned to netizens to ask if bailing on his badly behaved date was a jerk move.
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/bar-kids-date-4.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
Image credits: 8photo / Freepik (not the actual photo)
From what OP tells us in his story, if Hope was hoping for a second date, she definitely went about it the wrong way. But is there hope for divorced parents looking to find love again in today’s fickle dating game? We went looking for answers.
In her article for Moving Past Divorce, Rosalind Sedacca writes that it’s no surprise that jumping into dating after a divorce can be difficult, but when you have children, it can be even harder. This is mostly because your entire perspective on relationships changes after having children.
Sedacca lists several practical tips that divorced parents getting back into dating might find useful. A few of these include being open and honest with first dates, using a babysitter in the early stages of dating, trusting your gut feelings, taking things slowly, talking to your kids about it, and making sure your new partner doesn’t try to parent.
In her post for DadsDivorce, Katie Davis lists some dating websites someone like OP can turn to. Options include a site specifically for single parents who want to start dating again, an “offline” dating site that matches users according to what kind of outing they’d prefer, and even one that connects users based on their musical tastes.
It would definitely seem that OP dodged a bullet when he walked out on Hope and her horrific behavior. Here’s hoping he can meet someone a bit more tolerant of his situation, perhaps with a little help from a digital matchmaker this time.
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/bar-kids-date-5.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda reached out to renowned professional dating coach Blaine Anderson to get her take on OP’s situation.
When we asked Anderson whether OP could have handled the situation better, or if his decision to leave his date behind was the right move, she had this to say, “His decision to leave his date when she continued insulting his children was 100% correct.”
She went on to say, “The right woman for him will enjoy spending time with his kids, because they’re a big part of his life. This is clearly the wrong woman, she’s the jerk, and he handled the situation as any father should.”
We asked Anderson for one piece of advice she’d offer divorced parents who want to get their toes back in today’s daunting dating pool.
According to her, “OP’s experience highlights how single parents are wise to share that they have kids ASAP with prospective partners to avoid wasting time. Many single parents — especially single parents under 35 — are hesitant to share that they have kids with prospective partners because they think it will be a turn-off.”
Anderson concludes, “It’s true that having kids will turn some people off — and that’s precisely why you want to volunteer that information ASAP. The worst possible thing you can do as a single parent is waste time dating anyone who isn’t OK with you having kids!”
What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Is it ever okay to trash-talk someone’s kids on a date? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers swiftly concluded that leaving his date behind was not a jerk move and slammed the woman for her atrocious behavior
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_f9cc0745bc44fb5b5e2568680097f459.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_f6768939c52571c5768bba8d25dd9ade.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_ffb59cf6c09047deb9dd3f95c5ec8682.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_5259083879661e6d9f90368c358501f9.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_8fd6fc6e33276b3ac4fc4bfcd0223d29.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_3d650bc96ecd3c6b1809905991829ae4.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_02485126260fda00ba2221f1ca21cd5f.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_3df4e395a262f6d477c87a508cc3ceca.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_feeb68853e91df949ecfc11811f6f3b1.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_2fa4c29fb4d4b3b9bb71ff0873d312cb.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_17ab42164f16eca5c199c9436e0f81c9.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_fd6aa8e32c22a1ae429e19d8d73e7f4b.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_75146eb2cab8d2ddab8acb55da425978.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
![Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/comment_eebbd6ffcebbc949b37ea5e7d17c822f.jpg "Dad Of Two Asks, “Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Date At The Bar After She Insulted My Kids?”")
Poll Question
How important is it to disclose being a parent early in a dating stage?
Very important, it saves time.
Not important, it's personal information.
Somewhat important, but depends on the person.
Not at all, it can come up later.
What do you think ?
Petra Peitsch 2 months ago
Bullet dodged. It's one thing, that you don't want kids. But it's a full another to be a POS about it.
Scott Rackley 2 months ago
Well, kids would be a deal breaker for me, but I'm not a rude a*****e about it. Something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, I just don't think we would be a good fit"
Petra Peitsch 2 months ago
Bullet dodged. It's one thing, that you don't want kids. But it's a full another to be a POS about it.
Scott Rackley 2 months ago
Well, kids would be a deal breaker for me, but I'm not a rude a*****e about it. Something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, I just don't think we would be a good fit"
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