That'd be genius

Never Approach Sea Again 😬

"oh my god cloudia did you see that loser's clothes today!? humans are so disgusting!"

THATS WHY THEY CALL IT A "GAS" GIANT

I am more of a ducktor. Quack.

"In lieu of flowers, send Brenda more life" lmao - I'm using that when my time comes.

Smarr

"What the hell's going on with my life?" - Bear

well, you're not wrong

r/unexpected.

awesome.

At least they've future proofed it for their own lifetime by omitting the ice caps...

relatable.

Very funny :)

Your body is an Aztec Temple

no matter how much sleep I get, I'll always wake up tired

but its so satisfying

Read this guys wiki page....he never had it easy either...some story..hats off sir!

Oh crap I'm a fictional character!

at least it's not like birds. Birders have this habit of naming birds anything other than what they look like. People: see bird with red head and triangular beak.Normal person: "Let's call it the red-headed finch." Birder: "Let's call it the lesser pied brown-backed finch".

I relate to all of this except for the fact that i'm bad in theory and even worse in real life

After reading, he's probably going to Hooters for a beer and some wings.

Justified.

I might be wrong, but I believe that sound doesn't multiply this way. Loud sounds add on a logarithmic scale. If the level of noise is doubled, only 3 dB is added.

the wiggles found this out long before everybody else did

Sorry to be such a geek, but in 2020 there was around 62,000 registered vessels in the world trading fleet, which represents around 2 billion tons. A 1mm rise in sea level requires 10-power of 12 per km squared. So the effect of taking every ship out of the water would be irrelevant. HOWEVER- global shipping accounts for around 940 million tons of C02 annually, which represents around 2.5% of global C02 emissions. Shipping also contributes to climate change through emissions of clack carbon from burning fuel oil. To put that in perspective- shipping accounts for more C02 and carbon pollution than global aviation...

and then you eventually form an emotional connection with the people in those hallucinations and cry when they're killed off

sad but true. I'll start. Triceratops, hands down.

In America, you would be charged $569,258 for this

And yet when a student tells her their dog ate their homework, she won't believe them

well that ruined my plans for this weekend

I've got honey badgers. They're both on steroids.

We do!

An australian crime scene, obviously.

You have been warned

unless you have a thagomizer, you aren't going to win.

It takes you five whole minutes? Slacker!

🤣

YOUR TEAMMATE HAS TAKEN REVENGE KILL FOR YOU.

This joke was unBEARable.

or a lava cake ;)

At 76 death becomes you!

Or, you have a suspicious charge of $1,499.99 on your Amazon account. Please call us immediately and provide your bank number and all your personal info so we can resolve this.

That's what Marvin would answer... If it was human.

Doctor Who says differently.

Can't be nervous if you remove your nervous system.

I don't remember eating a loser

Thought it was Gaudi initially

Luna scorns your primitive technology