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Chandler Bing says more dumb things before 9 a.m. than most people do all day. Are all of them haha funny? No. But we still love the guy and would never question his sense of humor.
You could describe 'Bad Science Jokes' in pretty much the same words. This fun online project posts more corny puns and ridiculous photos than most meme pages, and it's exactly why we follow it — the content is so bad, it's actually good.
We at Bored Panda covered 'Bad Science Jokes' a few months ago, but during that time Melissa Miller, the woman running the show, has been keeping herself real busy so we just had to make an update!
More info: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Tell Me About It In The Comments
fuggnuggins 4 years ago (edited)
Already been done. https://web.archive.org/ ... https://archive.org/ ... Also outputs contradictory evidence to things that people are now convinced are true just because they've heard it three times or more. The government websites are particularly interesting.
Load More Replies... Vorknkx 4 years ago
I'm still traumatized by Pluto not being considered a planet anymore (it was during my school years).
Beck 4 years ago
8 planets sounds funny in my mouth. 9 planets. That is better.and what did my very elephant mother served us??? Without Pluto we will never know!! It is pickles. My Very Elegant Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles. See? We need Pluto.
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ilikeplants 4 years ago
This is actually an amazing idea. I would LOVE it if someone would do this. Otherwise, every generation goes on repeating the things they learned in their teens, and without constantly reading up on every subject (which no adult the has time for) it's impossible not to be outdated.
cybermerlin2000 4 years ago
*Antivaxxer* "This is not real research! Where are the essential oils!"
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S. 4 years ago
Haven't even graduated from high school and I have so many doubts about the validity of the “tongues have different sections for different tastes” thing.
RELATED:
#2
Spooky Sea Turtles And Crabs
Liam Tranum 4 years ago
Do you realize that spells NASA? I think you did it on purpose but I want to point it out to others as well
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Reynard 4 years ago
Because that's the job of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, you see, Ocean is literally in their name.
Mimi La Souris 4 years ago
AH NON ! JAW already gives me chills as soon as I put a foot in the water, even in a basin, so STOP, that's enough :)
Just like last time, we managed to get in touch with Melissa and she was kind enough to have a little chat with us about 'Bad Science Jokes.'
When asked which subjects do her fans seem to be interested in the most, she told Bored Panda that "my followers really seem to like anything animal-themed. Another one that always excites is astronomy. Astronomy is one of my favorites to meme about, too. There's a lot more than 'Uranus is gassy' but that one never fails to get a laugh!"
There's a somewhat common misconception that running a meme page is as simple as reposting the stuff you find on Reddit. While that might be true for some generic conceptless Trashtagram, 'Bad Science Jokes' is an entirely different case. There's a reason why it has hundreds of thousands of followers, and that's mindful content curation.
#3
Clouds
River Webb 4 years ago (edited)
"oh my god cloudia did you see that loser's clothes today!? humans are so disgusting!"
Kesam 4 years ago
I don't get this joke but I often see clouds shaped like they're poiting a finger at me and sniggering 😉
V 2000 4 years ago
when i see that its usually like this oop-61a16d...90f943.jpg 
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Look at that one, guys! He thinks because he's in his car no one can see him picking his nose.
Mark Fuller 4 years ago
All. The. Time. For some reason, "that one looks like an anti-vaxxer" has become more common. Kinda this weird cross shaped thing stuck in the ground. Go figure.
Mazer 4 years ago
I love the question. Which is more powerful? The Sun? The clouds? Or The mountains? It’s the clouds, which can block out the sun and erode the mountains with the rain they hold.
Hermione 4 years ago
Clouds cannot exist without the sun. But the sun can exist without clouds.
Load More Replies... #4
I'm Feeling Jupiter-Ish Today
Persephone 4 years ago
At least somebody in our solar system knows what it's like to be a single parent....
#5
We Have Any Doctors In The Comments?
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Me in a panic situation. Calmly focusing on something else so that I don't add to the problem.
Mark Johanen 4 years ago
I was expecting a more sophisticated mathematical analysis, but okay.
"I've been running 'Bad Science Jokes' for almost a decade now," Melissa said.
"A few things I look for are popularity of the subject and meme template, asking if I laughed (I'm easily entertained so I better laugh at it!), and seeing if it's been over-posted or over-used. I try to not post the same stuff that every other science or meme page is posting. I like being the trailblazer of the science meme world."
"I have some groups around the web that I use to help find or create content," she explained. "My group 'Unappreciated Puns' on Facebook and 'BadScienceJokes: the Group', also on Facebook. There, people help me find great puns or even send me memes!"
But sometimes the stars align and it can be as easy as seeing a picture and thinking to yourself, 'Yup, that'll do.'
#6
I Love When Bots Write Things
C. Wade 4 years ago
"In lieu of flowers, send Brenda more life" lmao - I'm using that when my time comes.
S. 4 years ago
Brenda DOES have horses!! I will not tolerate this slander!!
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Julia Atkinson 4 years ago
Those poor boys. With a mother who married a high school, collected dust, and erroneously thought she had horses, is it any wonder they were disadvantaged?
Brian Bennett 4 years ago
I shall carry on your hobby in your honor: I too am a collector of dust!
#7
Very Evil
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
I'm not retaking Philosophy just to do this to some stranger, although it's tempting.
André Roth 3 years ago
He's gonna fail philosophy and then he wan't find a job in the near by philosophy factory any more.
#8
Find Some Time Today To Look At A Good View
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
They're digesting, is my theory. Not that I've gotten close enough to ask. Tho' this guy looks to be in a zoo and is probably bored out of his skull, and dreaming of tourists-on-a-stick.
Georgia Hebert 4 years ago
Yeahhhh, they're just not telling us he grazed through a weed patch. ;)
BetweenTheCracks 4 years ago
Lol, this! Bears eat things like mushrooms and berries, and I'd be willing to bet that some of those foods hit them a certain way. Duuuuuude...
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Nixxy 4 years ago
Bears are actually incredibly intelligent, and one of the only animals with a developed language (I’m pretty sure, please correct me if I’m wrong) and a sense of curiosity!
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A B C 4 years ago (edited)
Do you happen to know about the Smart Bear Problem? If not, let me tell you: in regions where there are a lot of bears, for example parts of Northern America, manufacturers have the problem of devising a locking mechanism for garbage bins that is complex enough so that smart bears can't open it, but simple enough so that really dumb people can still operate it. So... yes, the spread seems to overlap ;)
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Twodogsandapicnictable 4 years ago
It's called evolution. Eventually, some animals that don't happen to be hungry actually observe things they can't eat and think about them. Maybe their great great great grandchildren will become artists.
Ionut Gorgovan 4 years ago
Although it's a nice poetic though, evolution does not work that way. Evolution is a bit more pragmatical, and it doesn't have a specific purpose. In humans a sense of aestetics and the notion of beauty is a side effect.
Load More Replies... Now that 'Bad Science Jokes' has become so successful, Melissa said that at the same time she feels both more and less pressure working on it.
"I have literally been on a fancy dinner date and yelled, 'Wait, I didn't post on 'Bad Science Jokes' today!' I take it very seriously. Some days, like anyone, I get burnt out and will not post as frequently. I usually will allude to my followers what happened by captioning a post [something along the lines of], 'Be sure to take a break today!' or 'You're more than a selfie at a crazy angle.' We all get caught up in the online world and our online personas. We all need to make efforts to get out of the cycle, if for nothing more than our own sanity."
#9
It Is Right
Buren 4 years ago
I thought that is the type of dish with cheese and bacon
Load More Replies... James Pasquini 4 years ago
What the function "is." It's not like they don't have a function any longer.
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#10
Penguin
BetweenTheCracks 4 years ago
The hard part is getting the little buggers to hold still! Otherwise the writing gets all smeared. Very rude of them.
#11
*auegh*
Nixxy 4 years ago
Yeah, the even ahve beaks! And we looked inside our skeletons beaks, it had a row of tiny ridges! Like a goose!
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Sawdust 4 years ago
Yeah, I wonder what its skeleton looks like when the fish is un-puffed...
Load More Replies... BetweenTheCracks 4 years ago
It looks crazy, but makes sense if the skeleton also expands when the fish fills itself with water. It'd be fascinating to have an "uninflated" version to compare it to-- the "engineering" in that matrix would be a lot of fun to study!
#12
Tattoos Are Forever. skin Isn't
Wilf 4 years ago
At least they've future proofed it for their own lifetime by omitting the ice caps...
JayWantsACat 4 years ago
The shorelines would have to be different than they are now thouugh to account for sea level rise.
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Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
If skin isn't forever, then neither are tattoos - unless you're imagining a black tangle of ink-string just lying in a puddle of decomposed tissue?
James Pasquini 4 years ago
I don't see Bermuda, the Azores or the Canary Islands. What gives? Well they did include the Cabo Verde islands.
"'Bad Science Jokes' may just be a meme page but to me, it is so much more than that," Melissa added. "I have been able to start my own business (Digi-Buzz) through the help of 'Bad Science Jokes.' I have heard of people making friends by sending screenshots of my memes in group chats or in school. I heard of someone asking someone to prom with the 'Bad Science Jokes' book!"
"I don't know if other meme pages can say the same, but I have been blessed with a community of people who really enjoy the content and want more. They have been able to bring 'Bad Science Jokes' into their lives even off their phones and computers. It has been an amazing ride, and I hope this ride continues for a long time."
#13
Too Bad He Never Got A Thicc One...
MikeyWaveOven (he/him) 4 years ago
The biggest lie School ever told us was that Newton died a virgin when in reality he was just hella gay
Sasha 4 years ago (edited)
Except either way he wasnt too busy with science, he was busy with alchemy. Science was just his side hustle that he was only sorta into. He was like yeah this calculus thing i came up with is cool and all, but its just a hobby, ancient occult knowledge is where its REALLY at.
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Fieke Engelen 4 years ago
So instead of dieting I should eat and eat until I am a 'mass' and will try to cope with the force of attraction hitting on me
#14
Very Disrespectful
DC 4 years ago
Scratch her next time. Make her bring food. The delishes type of - like, birds with feathers and inners and bones, and fish that have been dead longer than Margret Thatcher. You know, the good stuff, real good stuff!
debrina blackmoon 4 years ago
Then go, "Pspspspsps" and she'll ask what you want.
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François Carré 4 years ago
Do you even realize what 7 years mean in a cat's life ? They've spent HALF THEIR TIME ON EARTH studying to get this job and teach disgraceful brats like you some good life lessons. Show some respect, Valentina.
U r lovely and beautiful 🫶️ 3 years ago
Oh lol. I didn’t go through all the comments before posting this!
Load More Replies... #15
Is It Spooky Season Yet?
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Oh, sweet boy, just wait until you grow old for this to really, really sink in.
White Wolf 4 years ago
There's no difference between a temple and a haunted house. There are spirits in both and you pray to get out of them in time.
Philly Bob Squires 4 years ago (edited)
My body IS a temple! Ancient, crumbling, probably cursed and filled with unspeakable horror.
Mike Price 2 years ago
A temple to Cthulhu, Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Yog-Sothoth.
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#16
Good Night, Friends. Try To Sleep Correctly
kjorn 4 years ago
yeah. i have sleep apnea and osteoarthritis in my two shoulders... years i can't sleep properly. it really destroy my brain. i can't learn anything anymore and just slowly killing me and drives me insane
RedMarbles 4 years ago
So sorry. Chronic stuff can really wear people down. Hope you can find something that makes it a little bit better so you feel hopeful again.
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Jayne Kyra 4 years ago
And then you wake up with a migraine from hell that no pills work on. Kill me.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Sounds like someone is approaching mid-life, when the mere act of sleeping puts strain on your muscles.
#17
Crust
Firstname Lastname 4 years ago
Whoever decided to call a scab "crust" clearly does not want me to enjoy pizza/sandwiches anymore.
Twodogsandapicnictable 4 years ago
Scabs are fine. Until the edge lifts up and keeps catching the edge of your pocket.
littlesaresare 4 years ago
The last few years I've learned a lot about the epidermis, and a side effect of that is learning how it and the dermis heals in minor wounds like scrapes and cuts. It looks like nothing to us but is quite a dramatic event for the body. I cannot look at a scab the same way again.
Caroline Driver 4 years ago
What I want to know is, if you're not supposed to pick your scabs, why did Nature make them so itchy?
#18
"My Baby Is An Astronaut And A Navy Seal And A.... " my Mom: My Daughter Runs A Meme Page That She Pretends Is A Big Deal
Supernatural 4 years ago
Read this guys wiki page....he never had it easy either...some story..hats off sir!
Béla Kun 4 years ago
Idk but any soldier or cop that wears the Punisher logo instantly causes disgust in me.
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Eppe 4 years ago
I refuse to believe this guy does not have some kind of perseverance gene most of us lack
Parmeisan 4 years ago
Perseverance? I mean I respect his accomplishments but he literally hasn't stuck with anything he's decided to do. There's honour to be found in mastering new things but there's honour to be found in just sticking to your path, too. There's nothing wrong with you.
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Tim Bouchee 4 years ago
When you decide to replay the game to experience each character's class.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Clearly, all he wanted was to be an Astronaut. His mom would say "learn something real", so he did the other stuff first. ;-)
Supernatural 4 years ago
Me...mum,can I go out and play? Mum...not til you finish your greens.. him....mom,can I be an astronaut?..... his mom...not til you finish Harvard,do a tour of duty,get a phd etc.......
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#19
You Got This You Funky Duck
Uber Mensch 4 years ago
I'm more like frictional - I tend to rub people the wrong way.
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Mark Johanen 4 years ago
If you were a fictional character, people would be disgusted because your life it far too boring to make even a mildly interesting story.
Twodogsandapicnictable 4 years ago
The key to every successful fictional character is that they are misunderstood and overlooked.
My O My 4 years ago (edited)
Yeay, I can be a successful fictional character
Load More Replies... U r lovely and beautiful 🫶️ 3 years ago
Like Rocket from Guardians of the Galaxy! Imagine the MCU characters reading what people think about them and Rocket being like “people don’t think I trash or vermin!” That would make me so happy
Jess Thompson 4 years ago
Oh my god I’m going to live my life as a fictional character from now on
#20
This Eel Is Bananas. B A N A...
ZAPanda 4 years ago
at least it's not like birds. Birders have this habit of naming birds anything other than what they look like. People: see bird with red head and triangular beak.Normal person: "Let's call it the red-headed finch." Birder: "Let's call it the lesser pied brown-backed finch".
DE Ray 4 years ago
Um... Looking through bird books, I gotta say: they're all perverts. Great boobies. Penduline tits. Common shags. White-throat swallows. Dickcissels. Red-shaft flickers. All of those are actual bird names!
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Mazer 4 years ago
What evolutionary system inside the eel decided, yep, let’s look like a banana, nobody will ever mess with me or find me camouflaged or fear me ever. Absolutely fascinating.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
Yes because you usually don't touch bananas until they are completely ripped! At least that's what I'm doing! Never managed to eat a good banana on time
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Trick Broughton 4 years ago
When an eel lunges out and it bites off your snout, that's a moray.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Bastard is coming from the Dutch language "bastaard" and means hybrid - not pure. The first researchers who gave animals a name thought in some cases that the animals they gave a name where mixes of different other species and that why they called them bastard. vogelcommando, 11 Jul 2017
Izzy Curer 4 years ago
Whenever my parents come to visit (different part of the country than where they're from), they like to ask me the names of the different birds and animals they see. I have no idea, but I make up random names to sound important. "Oh... that? That's a bunt-nosed pipperel. Yep. Mmhm."
#21
Same
River Webb 4 years ago
I relate to all of this except for the fact that i'm bad in theory and even worse in real life
Twodogsandapicnictable 4 years ago
Do you wander arctic wastelands, contemplating existance? People always forget that part.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Tara, I too have always empathized with the "monster" for the exact same reasons.
U r lovely and beautiful 🫶️ 3 years ago
Sending love ❤️ to you. You were seeking it and seem sad (burning down the houses of those who betrayed you, held together by a thread) ❤️
#22
Hoooo Is That?
More Thinking Needed 4 years ago
After reading, he's probably going to Hooters for a beer and some wings.
BetweenTheCracks 4 years ago
As I replied to you, nature lovers almost have to be, lol. What matters is how much fun they have grossing out other people with the nomenclature!
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James Pasquini 4 years ago
Whatever it is, it's got some sexy-looking plumage!
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pusheen buttercup 4 years ago
Barn owls prefer screaming to hooting :) they are my favorite. "REEEEEEE...!!!"
#23
Lol Harry Goes To Hogwarts
Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
I have gathered from various sources over the years that Antarctic research stations are very high stress situations due to the physical conditions, isolation, etc., that under such circumstances, the reaction might well feel justified.
Goose2008 4 years ago
certain books were banned from russian research labs in the 80's after a guy murdered his college who spoiled the endings, history repeats
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Oh, sure - ban the books. THAT should solve the problem.... :-p
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Twodogsandapicnictable 4 years ago
Cabin Fever. Little things become very important once your world is small enough for long enough. You'll start blaming people for you having a head ache or sore back. You'll find a reason to kill anyone for almost anything eventually
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Honestly? If I'm reading a good book and some a**e keeps telling me how it ends, I don't need "cabin fever" as an excuse.
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#24
Me-Wow
Stefan 4 years ago
I might be wrong, but I believe that sound doesn't multiply this way. Loud sounds add on a logarithmic scale. If the level of noise is doubled, only 3 dB is added.
Mike Beck 4 years ago
And, as a bonus issue: out of all of those sound sources, there will occasionally be some that cancel or stack.
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cybermerlin2000 4 years ago
Get all the world's cats evenly spaced out all over the globe and get one line of cats to meow from the north to the South Pole and the cats to the west of that line to meow in response and keep it going until the line of meows or, as I would like to call it, The Meow Wave returns to the point of origin and then repeats making a meow wave that travels the world in the opposite direction of the earths rotation. Just for fun
René Studer 4 years ago
But wouldn’t we have to get them all in one place first? That would be its own separate nightmare.
#25
Wiggling
Printerman 4 years ago
I was hoping someone would bring them up. Thank you.
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cybermerlin2000 4 years ago
So the biggest wiggly break through in the world would be the television?
September Meadows 4 years ago
Put your right foot in, take your right foot out, put your right foot in and wiggle all about...
Twodogsandapicnictable 4 years ago
Nothing is anything until your screwed up brain decides what it is.
#26
Fact
Wilf 4 years ago
Sorry to be such a geek, but in 2020 there was around 62,000 registered vessels in the world trading fleet, which represents around 2 billion tons. A 1mm rise in sea level requires 10-power of 12 per km squared. So the effect of taking every ship out of the water would be irrelevant. HOWEVER- global shipping accounts for around 940 million tons of C02 annually, which represents around 2.5% of global C02 emissions. Shipping also contributes to climate change through emissions of clack carbon from burning fuel oil. To put that in perspective- shipping accounts for more C02 and carbon pollution than global aviation...
My Name Is Mars 4 years ago
Don't ever apologize for being a geek, especially on a thread about "nerdy" things!
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Kris Vandenberghe 4 years ago (edited)
Putting all these boats on land will make the land sink a bit, thus making the sea level rise again....
Laugh or not 4 years ago
Mathematically yes, a body in water displace the water and da da da. Practically, you are not going to fight rising sea levels that way. Try again.
ZAPanda 4 years ago
This is why politicians must have actual degrees in actual subjects relevant to their jobs.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
I think not, however if sea vessels operated on non-fossil fuels, it would decrease glacial melt somewhat.
Wilf 4 years ago
Sunken ships are, by definition, full of water. So they don't displace anything other than the structure of the vessel itself.
Load More Replies... S. 4 years ago
One way to begin finding the solution to this is to test with a smaller sample - what happens to, say, a water body the size of a lake when you add/remove a ship or two from it? And then with a few more tests, we can find the answer.
S. 4 years ago
Several hours later and I realised this submission was trying to debunk global warming. I'm so sorry, I misunderstood the context and was trying to solve what I thought looked like an interesting puzzle.
Load More Replies... James Pasquini 4 years ago (edited)
Imagine if a large person got out of a bath tub full of water. The water level wouldn't drop? There goes that old story about the crow who dropped stones into a water vase to raise the water so it could reach and get a drink. Now imagine if all the birds of the world all took off at the same time. Would they displace so much air that it would be slightly compressed or would that just force the air up higher? Inquiring minds want to know. lol
#27
...
River Webb 4 years ago
and then you eventually form an emotional connection with the people in those hallucinations and cry when they're killed off
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
I am fascinated how immersed we become in squiggly lines on paper. These symbols open doors to our imagination without sound or visualization.
Vicky Zar 4 years ago (edited)
If one does not have aphantasia, one can see something like a movie playing in ones head while reading. That's what's meant by halucinating.
Load More Replies... September Meadows 4 years ago
The characters in a work of fiction are often just aspects of the author's personality. If you fall in love with a fictional character...
#28
Dinosaur
Otter 4 years ago (edited)
Actually, "Ask Pandas" asked everyone about their fave dinosaurs, a week or two ago. Mine was the cassowary.
albernistuff 4sale 4 years ago
Smert-ers!.... They Live! just about as mean as a velociraptor likely was.
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Parmeisan 4 years ago
This concept came up in a thread about being an adult recently. Someone posted about their new favourite dinosaur, the Nigersaurus, and as soon as I looked it up it became mine too. It's the mesozoic cow, a derpasaurus with hundreds of teeth for chomping on grass (or equivalent) and it's like my old favourite, the brontasaurus, but not much taller than a human. It's the best dinosaur I've seen so far.
#29
Congrats On The Record?
Michelle Cox 4 years ago
If you were the assistant..otherwise, it would have been more
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White Wolf 4 years ago
I swear this story comes across me every other day. When I was a kid, I fell once so hard that I skinned both knees. My parents never let me live it down although it happened 35 years ago and I am pretty much tired of hearing it. So, what i want to say is - give the guy a break, his s**t's been around for 174 years!
#30
Un-Paw-Reciated Feel Free To Send Me Pictures Of Pets Doing Work. Bonus Points For Frogs. I'm Kinda Into Frogs Right Now
Oopsydaisy 4 years ago
And yet when a student tells her their dog ate their homework, she won't believe them
Colin L 4 years ago
As a professor, I almost had to explain that my dog ate their homework.
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#31
"Killing People? That Is... That Is My Least Favorite Thing To Do" - Carl
Oopsydaisy 4 years ago
If you only do it on one weekend it's probably a mass murder, so it's a different list.
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Vicky Z 4 years ago
Someone had to rephrase it correctly cause they were giving ideas
Load More Replies... A_BadlyDrawnBearPic 4 years ago
Guess what Everyone's a cereal killer we've all eaten 2 or more pieces of cereal in our life
Twodogsandapicnictable 4 years ago
Real killers love this sht. Serial killers and mass shooters both. They try to out do each other. Seriously. Read some interviews.
Yoinks! 4 years ago (edited)
CARRRRRLLLLLL what did you do now (YouTube: Llamas With Hats) EDIT: Llamas WITH Hats!!
Load More Replies... #32
I Love These Memes
Viola Yarrow 4 years ago
If you have two wolves inside you, lets hope you are a wolf expecting twins.
#33
Just A Handful Of Memes. Enjoy
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
And because they find toilet pots in every house they'll think that they are some sort of altars.
Sasha 4 years ago
And all those funny joke mugs with boobs or whatever will be considered ancient erotica, or vessels for drinking fertility potions
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Yeah, as if there's going to be any people around thousands of years from now.
Vicky Zar 4 years ago
Ok then "the Aliens who will study ancient civilisations on foreign planets"
Load More Replies... Twodogsandapicnictable 4 years ago
Someday evolved cockroaches will be mining human land fills like plastic is a natural resource.
#34
Creative Writing Prompt. Tell A Short Story, In The Comments, Of A Crimescene With Both Koala Prints And Human Prints
Markus Holstein 4 years ago
"It's working, boss. They keep blaming the humans" The Koala leaned back in his dark red leather swivel chair. "Excellent" he said, tenting his fingers. "Excellent"
Oopsydaisy 4 years ago
Thing is, if a koala was involved, it may well be the murderer. Vicious little buggers that they are.
fuggnuggins 4 years ago
You're confusing them with their close relative, the drop bear: https://youtu.be/KCGUNpzjD6M
Load More Replies... Brian Bennett 4 years ago
If they are smart they will start destroying human habitats ie: houses, apartments just for spite!
Philler Space 4 years ago
Now I totally want a Dexter-like crime drama where a murderous koala works for the Syndey PD and uses his position to thrown them off the scent when he leaves forensic evidence behind.
gilded panda 2 years ago (edited)
its a rainy day in australia, and a man comes into the bank with a loaded pistol and a koala with some dynamite and a rope, the guy distracts everyone witth a few shots while the koala blows the safe, then the cops come and the koala has a rope and escapes, but betrays the human and the human is captured, then the human breaks out and the koala is on the run from his old partner and the cops
#35
Do Not Combust On Company Time
buttonpusher 4 years ago
Projectile vomiting will occur if you poke the puddle with a stick? Idk that's what I'm seeing here. It's like a Rorschach test.
September Meadows 4 years ago
Doesn't matter. I'm now moving in the opposite direction, quickly.
Liz the Wanderer 4 years ago
Warning: if you listen to the record of doom, your lungs will disintegrate and explode, covering everything around you with bits of lung goo!!
#36
Tag Someone Who May Be Better Than A Stegosaurus
Nicholas Kramer 4 years ago
Ok but NASA is right now testing crashing a satellite into a comet no more than 50 meters wide millions of miles away to see how they can change the trajectory. Show me a dinosaur that could do that. Definitely not T-rex with those little arms; how is he gonna hold a screwdriver.
Deep One 4 years ago
No the T-Rexs were the brains of the dinosaurs. Seriously look at that massive head! They got the other dinos to do the manual stuff for them.
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 4 years ago
No, actually we're so much more dangerous and threatening. The dinosaurs didn't create their own demise like we humans will.
Deep One 4 years ago
Actually the dinos were very advanced. The last thing they were working on was to test if they could alter the trajectory of a meteor by crashing a space craft into it.
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Quinn Alexander 4 years ago
Dinosaurs got taken out on the same planet and who lived? Who? That's right we did. Mammals. No bitch ass Stegosaurus better than me, I have self-regulating body temperature.
Monday 4 years ago
Depends on how we're measuring it, I'm pretty confident that I'm better at walking on two legs than a stegosaurus.
Joran Quinten 4 years ago
Stegosaurus does not care for your bipedal madness
Load More Replies... tuzdayschild 4 years ago
Speak for yourself. I can do a cartwheel. Let's see a stegosaurus do that!
Frank Hassler 4 years ago
Well actually… the Stegosaurus went extinct long before the meteor hit, in fact humans are closer in time to the meteor that wiped out the Dino’s than the stegosaurus was.
#37
I. Am. Power
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
It contains a thermoelectric generator (TEG) that can convert body heat into enough electricity to power an LED. I could light up an entire stadium.
Lauraine Zhou 4 years ago
if it ran on mental health issues I would never have to plug my laptop in again
#38
Yes. I Know This Is An Old Joke.no I Do Not Care
CallaghanLive 3 years ago
i am a mature adult. i am a mature adult. i am a mature adult. i am a ma--nope.
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Peter Smith 4 years ago
They have a non-invasive test now. If your doctor is still insisting on the finger I would put in a complaint.
Load More Replies... September Meadows 4 years ago
I pronounce it as, Er uh nuss. Takes all the fun out of for people.
Bonnie Edwards 4 years ago (edited)
Check out the awesome punny merch frommy countries space agency. https://spaceaustralia.com.au/collections/frontpage/products/a r s e-pins (sorry, you'll have to remove the spaces from the web address)
#39
"Thanks"
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Unfortunately, they merely wounded the asteroid that now has an axe to grind.
Leo Bellantoni 4 years ago
Well you know, after the Second World War, the Japanese did develop an appreciation of many elements of US culture.
Thomas Sweda 4 years ago
Sounds like something we Americans should have done first, with an AR-15 dammit!
Oliver Seitz 4 years ago
I would have 3xoectwd all American spacecrafts would do so. "self defense" against agressive planets ;)
Kenny Kulbiski 4 years ago
Oh great.Now we've managed to piss off the asteroids. Remember dinosaurs?
#40
Um. Nevermind. Here. Take Your Money
Parmeisan 4 years ago
A great thing about Canadian geese (perhaps the only good thing!) is that they puff themselves up to look bigger but then fall for the exact same trick. Just raise your arms up and take an aggressive step toward them and they will go "oh no this person is so big and scary" and run away.
#41
Marinara Sauce Is From Volcanoes
River Webb 4 years ago (edited)
and global warming is just the ravioli being cooked and all the humans are just germs that are slowly dying of the heat
Kay blue 4 years ago
I think it's a McDonald's apple pie, it has a crunchy exterior and a core that's hotter than the sun.
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
I see what you did there, but you added another L too!
Load More Replies... #42
I'm 26 And This Is True
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
I have memories of falling off horses and getting right back up on them. Now, it takes all I've got to get out of my recliner.
#43
Interesting
Snorkeldorf 4 years ago
Or, you have a suspicious charge of $1,499.99 on your Amazon account. Please call us immediately and provide your bank number and all your personal info so we can resolve this.
tuzdayschild 4 years ago
Also, Microsoft called to informed him that his computer has a virus.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Good afternoon, Sir. This is the Social Security Admin. We need to verify your SS number.
Cydney Golden 4 years ago
He wanted to have "Ahoy" as the open of a phone call instead of hello. I wish he'd fought harder for that!
James Pasquini 4 years ago
Back then people used to say, "Hollo." But I guess that had a hollow sound to it.
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Lulu Lemons 4 years ago
This, currently number 42, is the first I have not upvoted. Am I too nerdy? Or do I just have good taste?
#44
Unfortunately
Deutschland Mädchen 4 years ago
But there's really no point to what- iffing. It's all just so pointless. You might as well just give up on writing comments forever, in fact we should all just give up in general (jk)
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Brian Bennett 4 years ago
I am but I have met a lot of human beings in the no category - unfortunately!
RandomX123 4 years ago
There is the word "sentient" in the question though
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#45
I'm Onto You.also You Neil Armstrong. Aka A. Lien
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Of all the bylines, they went with Hugh Mann. See, this is how conspiracies start.
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
It has been photographed several times, so it is not a secret any more.
#46
Take It.i Don't Want It Anymore
Gabby M 4 years ago
One removed Nervous System. Your Welcome : ) thumbnail_...2da0c3.jpg 
Meif’wa Fan 4 years ago
Didn't say the age o the kid so...for all we know it could be a teenager
Load More Replies... Caroline Driver 4 years ago
I would love to be able to take my brain out and give it a nice tepid bath sometimes
#47
Yup
Marcellus II 4 years ago
Kinki is the region around Osaka/Kansai. Source: Boss giving me tickets from the Kinki Nippon Travel Agency and me being somewhat apprehensive.
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#48
You May Now Bug The Bride
Sarah@C 4 years ago
I wouldn't call it Gaudi, just maybe a little too ornate. 😶
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Ashley Delacerda 4 years ago
No, they rent them out for The Ugly Bug Ball!! (Am I the only one that remembers that song?) "Come on let's crawl/ Gotta crawl, gotta crawl/ To the ugly bug ball/ To the ball, to the ball/ And a happy time we'll have there/ One and all! At the ugly bug ball!
Auntriarch 4 years ago
When the lonely caterpillar sat and cried, to a sympathetic beetle by its side.
Load More Replies... James Pasquini 4 years ago
How he get so small to photograph that? Oh, magic mushrooms like Alice ate.
#49
I Can't Get A Good Picture On A Cell Phone Because I'm Ugly But Real Recognizes Real
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Wow, this is an excellent come back for all those crappy photos of me - I'm simply unwilling to be photographed.
#50
Can You Believe It's Not 2020? It's Literally Almost A Year Past It
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
The beauty of retirement is how I've managed to disentangle myself from linear time, albeit with the occasional alerts reminding me of linear time appointments.
#51
Send The Goods
#52
Maybe I Am A Rat
Oopsydaisy 4 years ago
Clearly we give our rats cocaine before taking them to a jazz club. It would be cruel otherwise.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago (edited)
So according to this information Cocaine and Covid both affect your taste.
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
Of course. It takes drugs for any living creature to tolerate jazz.
#53
The Cardinal Knows My Secrets
S. 4 years ago
"Anatidaephobia is the irrational fear that somewhere, a duck or goose is watching you."
Snorkeldorf 4 years ago
I'm always concerned when the squirrels seem to be watching me. Especially when they look p*ssed.
Tamra Stiffler 4 years ago
Not sure why, but this got me laughing fairly hard!
Load More Replies... #54
Off Topic But I'd Love To Hear Stories Of Weird Sh*t You Did Or Someone Else Did To You That You Can Never Forget
Daria Z 4 years ago
Same. I'm so forgettable that people start forgetting me while I'm still facing them.
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Jarre Lang Dudde 4 years ago
First thing that comes to mind that someone else did: I (a voluptuous woman) was once at a party, standing by the bar and talking to a friend (a stick-thin guy), when a man came up and bit first my hip and then my friend's, seemed to ponder for a moment, then left.
Zephyr Anthem 4 years ago
Maybe my sience teacher remembers the time i asked him to spell the molecular combinasion K.O.H .... to my defense he said it like KAWASH... XDDDD
#55
Only One Has Cocomelon
Rainyrose 4 years ago
You think kids are going to let them out of sight? ( yk, unless you give them a LOT of candy )
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#56
Rip Norm
Catherine Graffham 4 years ago
I want my body donated to science, but specifically to a body farm. It’s where they study decomposition and can help with forensics and archaeology
#57
Flat Earth Confirmed
#58
That Human Is Set To Vibrate
#59
I'm Going To Bed At 8pm Because My Patience Is On Negative Right Now And I'm Running On Fumes
#60
Fake It Till You Make It
Pungent Sauce 4 years ago
“Well here’s the problem, you’re never going to get 4K through a 1990’s AV cable, you need HDMI for that.”
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
So you need to look on the other side of the TV. Kitten;- Yup Dose are pluggeded in propallee
That_One_Harry_Potter_Nerd 4 years ago
But guess what This Kitten doesn’t care and will keep playing with wires and pressing buttons. So there.
#61
What Was The Funniest Thing You Saw On The Walls Of Your School?ill Start. #birdville High Had A Sign At The Water Fountains In 2013 That Said "#thirsty?" Which Did Not Mean What The Student Council Thought It Meant. Lol
over it already 4 years ago
Sexual connotation. Per urban dictionary, a synonym for horny.
Load More Replies... #62
Let's Bone
Judo Flipped By Nobody 4 years ago
I think my friend's skeleton manage to get out as they can bend far to many ways that i would break every bone in my body by trying
#63
Hehe
Aeon Flux 4 years ago
It's probably exposure to air that does it to the ink?
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#64
The Job Is Yours
#65
Brains
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
A biology exam from Trump would be: "How come I have big hands but a small mushroom? "
J. F. 4 years ago (edited)
A funny thing about symmetry: the penis of a man is around three times the size of his thumb. And we all know the small handed ex-politician....
Load More Replies... Brian Bennett 4 years ago
That depends on where your brain is located in the oval office a while ago it was in your butt!
#66
The Metric System Has Failed Us
U r lovely and beautiful 🫶️ 3 years ago
Same. Why not? I reckon Bob the Whale would be a pretty good basketball player. Better than me at least
Load More Replies... #67
With Or Without The Internet, Cat Memes Will Live On #facebookdown
#68
Never Let Anyone Make Your Dreams Into A Joke. Unless They Want To Be A Comedian And You're Cool With It I Guess
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
Ah went to skool for 15 minits to get dis job, ah nose wot ah iz doin. flick-flick-flick flick press, buzzzzzzzzzz, ooooh chit, a beez.
#69
Yum
readingthequibbler 4 years ago
Humans breathe right when they're babies but along the way they teach themselves wrong. I learned that in Chirus because my teacher had us retrain our bodies.
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#70
Early Birds
John Smith 4 years ago
There is 2 ways to look at that saying. Either the first person gets what they want, or the first person is screwed.
Brian Bennett 4 years ago
With everything else that's wrong with me I really don't think I can deal with worms so guess I'm gonna be late!
#71
Can't Believe It
Daniel Mattock 4 years ago
At least bees have the decency to die after hurting us. Wasps are sadistic bastards.
#72
It's Electrifying To Meet You
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
We have experienced one of those. Hubby did a better job than the electrician did.
#73
Lol It's The Butt Planet
John Baker 4 years ago
"We wish you much success and happiness in your career at Taco Bell." ~ The Harvard Admissions Dept.
#74
I'm Waiting
Lulu Lemons 4 years ago
my neighbours probably think I'm mad with how loud I laughed at this
Load More Replies... #75
Don't Believe You're A Weed. You Are A Cornstalk. You Can Do Great, And Corny, Things
Mary Hiers 4 years ago
One year I got a random cornstalk in my gutter. I live inside city limits, so IDK how the heck it got there. I halfway hated taking it down, after its incredible journey and effort to grow.
Kristin Ingersoll 4 years ago
Just FYI - 465 surrounds Indianapolis, Indiana, USA. Just in case you were wondering. :D
#76
A Handful Of Memes For Your Viewing Pleasure
#77
I'm. Gonna Go Right On This
U r lovely and beautiful 🫶️ 3 years ago
My day was good. I don’t feel the need to rant. I made someone feel better with my username so that made me feel real good! Have a good day y’all ❤️❤️
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#78
One? Or Two? one..... Or Two?
#79
Joke
#80
Relatively Speaking
Skull in Sky 4 years ago
Our physics teacher in high school has a neighbor who looks exactly like Albert Einstein, has a doctorate in physics and a single mother who's been to a random science conference in Hungary (where she could meet him). It's been wildly speculated that there's a connection.
#82
Well Even When We Meet Again It Will Still Be Divisible But Yah
Immortal Emperor Paradox 4 years ago
"The divisibility rule of 7 states that for a number to be divisible by 7, the last digit of the given number should be multiplied by 2 and then subtracted with the rest of the number leaving the last digit. If the difference is 0 or a multiple of 7, then it is divisible by 7."
#83
Well I Do
#84
I Promise I Won't Hand You Over To The Government For Scientific Experiments
#85
Brothers
Vorknkx 4 years ago
If my dreams are any indication, he is having a way more exciting/adventurous life than I do. An he lives in a bigger apartment too!
MikeWheelerFan 4 years ago
If my dreams are any indication I’m secretly insane
Load More Replies... U r lovely and beautiful 🫶️ 3 years ago
Aww ☺️ that’s sweet. I hope my parallel universe self is doing okay! Or maybe my multidimensional selves? In which case I can take the burden of the bad days so they have good days. When you have a bad day, remember, that means someone else is having a good day because I believe some people burden the bad days and bad luck to make sure someone else has a good day and good luck.
#86
I Will Chloro-Fill This Office With Positive Energy That You And Your Team Will Appreciate
Samantha Power 4 years ago
I remember once going for an interview, the boss didn't bother asking questions (he had read my CV) and told me to come in next day for my Uniform. There once were times like that.
Immortal Emperor Paradox 4 years ago
Nowadays they need freshers to have 3 yrs experience...
Load More Replies... #87
With This In Mind I'd Still Suggest You Donate Blood If You Can
#88
Smort
Got Myself 4 Dwarves 4 years ago
Good old paracetamol here, don't think anyone refers to it as a specific brand, I'm struggling to even think of a brand name. I usually just buy the 30p packets of the shops own one since they're all the same
Snorkeldorf 4 years ago (edited)
I get it. I still refer to it as Kleenex instead of tissues. Ingrained from childhood. Might be the best marketing campaign of all time.
Kristin Ingersoll 4 years ago
Who's the dude in the front of the photo? Never been a cast member on Grey's Anatomy. Much less a main character. Who is that? Random.
#89
A Scheme To Promote His Book
Ragnhild Nilsen 4 years ago
Moses walked around and used 40 years in what you would have managed in 8 days.
#90
Sad
#91
My Pupils
#92
I Know You Don't Want To But Use Free Time On The Weekends To Prepare For The Week Ahead
S. 4 years ago
Not an adult but what helps me is to make daily to-do lists and only write stuff in my monthly / weekly lists is when I need to remember to do something. For some reason, I feel weirdly calm when I see all of my tasks written down and am able to formulate a plan to combat them. But jokes on you because I still end up procrastinating my tasks and stressing about them at the last minute anyway.
#93
Place Your Bets
#94
2+2 Does Equal 4. interesting
Party Poison 4 years ago
i believe this is an ED (eating disorder) joke, ive seen it before in ED communities
#95
Please Don't Do This - Have To Specify Since Ig And Fb Say I'm Being H@rmful If I Don't. So Just Don't. K Thanks
#96
Everything Slid At University...
Judo Flipped By Nobody 4 years ago
My sister said her teachers told her universety would be a lot more strict, but her classmates would just play videogames in class and get away with it...
#97
Never Gonna Give You Up Never Gonna Let You Down
#99
No One Wants Ohio
Theoretical Empiricist 4 years ago
It's as good a theory as any for where those "stolen votes" went.
Load More Replies... Add New Image
What do you think ?
fuggnuggins 4 years ago
I'm not sure who the bigger villain is: the person who wrote the bot or the people that click down, eventually resulting in the message being hidden and sparking my curiosity.
Load More Replies... tuzdayschild 4 years ago
If Brenda were still alive, I'd GoFund a horse for her.
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alloutbikes@yahoo.com 4 years ago
#35 The warning picture has a mini dinosaur doing a flip into the mouth. What is that warning and where is it? I think I need to avoid this place.
fuggnuggins 4 years ago
I'm not sure who the bigger villain is: the person who wrote the bot or the people that click down, eventually resulting in the message being hidden and sparking my curiosity.
Load More Replies... tuzdayschild 4 years ago
If Brenda were still alive, I'd GoFund a horse for her.
Load More Replies... alloutbikes@yahoo.com 4 years ago
#35 The warning picture has a mini dinosaur doing a flip into the mouth. What is that warning and where is it? I think I need to avoid this place.
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