If you’ve ever been job hunting, you should be familiar with the pain of creating and/or updating your resume. Making yourself seem appealing by summarizing your work life and educational achievements can be quite a chore, especially for those of us that don’t enjoy boasting. The task can weigh on people so much, it’s often tempting to just send a quick message to the recruiter saying, “I can do this job, give me this job.” However, like many things in this modern world, we do need to go through the whole song and dance about it, with formatting, designing, and peppering it with personality (not too much, though!).
Bored Panda had a chat with Greg Langstaff (TikTok, Instagram, YouTube), a career coach and job search expert, on the do’s and don’ts of the resumes. This professional with over 620,000 followers on TikTok and 230,000 on Instagram had quite a few hot tips for any job hunter out there, so scroll down to get them.
If you’re in the middle of creating your resume right now and need some tips for what not to do, the collection of posts below will show you what will not get you hired. If you already have a resume and feel unsure about it, the list might help you realize that your efforts are, in fact, quite acceptable. And if you already have a job, scrolling down might make you feel like you should hold on to it as the job market is insane.
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Someone Sent Me A Picture Of This Resume. Hire This Man Now
He had me with his professionalism up until he didn't know how to spell Taupe
When asked about the most common mistakes job seekers make, Greg Langstaff emphasised that it's not including specific details related to your personal accomplishments. "The last thing you want is a resume that looks like it just has a bunch of job descriptions on it. That only shows the employer "what we did" whereas by adding results and accomplishments, we show them that we're very good at the things they need us to do. The people who do add those accomplishments are the ones getting the interviews."
Another big mistake is jumping straight into the work experience, without any introduction. "Because recruiters and hiring managers take so little time to initially scan our resumes, we need to include "Professional Branding" at the top of our resume which could come in the form of giving ourselves a title (such as "Digital Marketing Expert"), a Professional Summary, an Areas of Expertise Section, or some Career Highlights."
Many employers these days also use resume parsing tools that scan every single application looking for specific keywords, skills, or timelines. They sort the resumes even before a real person has a chance to look through it. This means that if your resume is not easy to parse, it might get weeded out even if you suit all the requirements. So, gather all the keywords that are prominent in your field and make sure to put it in your application
Read This On An Applicant’s Resume
This Resume Was Almost Perfect Until
When your resume finally reaches a recruiter, there are ways to make a good impression. For example, make sure that the language you’re using is not too boastful. According to a study published in 2016, recruiters prefer moderate self-promotion. That means stating that you’re good at something and you have relevant experience would do better than saying you’re excellent, the best they can find, and an ideal candidate. In fact, bragging too much can hurt your chances of getting a job, so keep your ego in check.
A tip that follows in a similar vein is tailoring your resume to the specific job you’re applying for. This might mean omitting irrelevant experience and highlighting achievements that bolster your chances to shine. You should also alter your title so it suits the job you’re applying. Addressing some of the specific requirements mentioned in the job posting can also be useful as well as updating your summary to fit the role better.
When it comes to the visual presentation of your resume, Langstaff has a few more tips. "Think about the visual presentation of your resume like you would with a major presentation you were delivering. The information that you're sharing is by far the most important part; however, if you don't make an effort to deliver that in a clear and professional format, people are going to struggle to take the information seriously. Great resume formatting can't get you a job, but bad formatting can cause you to miss out on one."
Meirl
Well, to be honest, this just proves that the company you are applying to are a) completely disorganized, b) Have no clue how to use modern software, c) have no idea of how to reduce their staff’s workload, and d) they don’t give a damn how much extra work their staff have to do as a result of their complete incompetence! Simply do not apply! They will never care about you, your work-life balance, etc.
Receiving Resumes During A Pandemic
I'll Do Anything For Work, But I Won't Do That
I read the title with the voice of Meatloaf: I would do anything for work, but I won't do that.
No, zgillet, Mayonnaise is not an instrument. Horseradish is not an instrument either.
Load More Replies...Then don't work in that type of place or suck it up if nothing else is available. Chill the fûck out.
No joke, I had a boss with a Mayonnaise phobia. She told a story about when she worked at a restaurant, and everyone knew she didn't handle mayo. One day there was a new guy, and when they told her about the Mayo thing he thought they were either trolling him or it wasn't a big deal. As a joke, he smeared Mayo on my boss's face. She freezes, "What's on my face right now" He laughs "Mayonnaise" Then she proceeded to projectile vomit all over the kitchen.
I hate mayo too, but if my boss told me I needed to do something with it, you bet I would. There are things worth risking your job to avoid. Mayo is not one of them.
It's difficult to be sanguine about Megan's prospects for career success when she's apparently willing to forsake the entire mayonaise sector. Why limit yourself like that?
Some things are just non negotiable. At least she knows her limitations
Load More Replies...I guess she could do bar cover while staff have lunch breaks. ah but the Mayo thing....
Depending on where you live, including a picture in your resume might be a must or a big no-no. In countries such as the US and the UK, including pictures goes against the strict anti-discrimination laws that aim to make hiring processes free from race, age, and gender profiling. The biases that come with presenting a picture were proven back in 1986 when a study concluded that people favor attractive candidates to the less attractive ones. That seemed to be the rule for any job, yet the pattern was especially prevalent when looking at customer-facing positions.
Someone Sent A Resume With Their Duolingo Streak Under "Languages"
Someone Sent Their Resume And...
There Was An Attempt To Write A Resume
However, one cannot erase discrimination simply by omitting a candidate’s picture; the subconscious biases rear their heads anyway. Take ageism as an example. British Sociological Association states that older applicants are three times less likely to get an interview than younger ones. Yet, surely if you omit the picture and the birth date, you’re back on the leveled playing field, right? Wrong. Two Belgian researchers analyzed the effects of subtle age cues when assessing resumes. They found that people with older-sounding names and dated hobbies were disadvantages during candidate reviews.
Resume That Was Dropped Today And Impressed My Manager So He Decided To Call Him For An Interview
Received An Application Today. Here Is The “Resume” That Was With It
Some Guy Dropped This Resume Off At My Family's Restaurant Today
Subtle cues of race are also present in candidate applications. An article published by Harvard Business School pointed out real-life cases of students “whitening” their resumes and having better outcomes. Black students, for example, omitted their race when talking about organizations they belong to. One student even decided not to mention a prestigious scholarship they got because it could reveal their race. Asian students admitted to changing their names to Americanized nicknames which led to a better response rate. They also changed their hobbies to those more common in white western culture.
Maybe The Worst Resume I Have Received
A Resume My Wife Received This Week
"Faith, m
Resume- was working at a trucking company, just got fired for insubordination: not true. looking for upright employer."
I know this isn't what they mean but when they said upright employer, they just wanted a two legged boss
Someone Dropped Off Their Resume Where I Work, I Feel Like I Should Call Them And Let Them Know
With all these biases at play, blind or anonymous recruitment is becoming a more and more popular option. With this type of candidate screening, all the information that a recruiter could be biased about—age, gender, name, sometimes also personal interests and education—is taken out of the resume. This can be done with the help of a software or a dedicated recruiter that later passes it on to the screener. In this way, the information presented is a neat collection of only job-relevant information. This should increase the chances of marginalized candidates. However, this doesn’t mean that biases will not come into play in the later stage of the hiring process.
My Dad Asked For Help Sending His Resume Online And Handed Me This
Attached This Instead Of A Resume
Wife’s Employer Received This Resume For A Position. He Got An Interview Because The Manager Couldn’t Stop Laughing
When it comes to writing a good resume, Langstaff, who's written over 1,200 resumes, offers his own strategy that lands his clients jobs. "We read the job postings they're targeting and make a list of the skills mentioned in that job posting. Then we have a discussion to identify when my client has used those skills in their career successfully. Then we fill the resume with bullet points that tell those stories and we mention the skills again in their professional branding. That approach has led to countless people getting promotions, changing careers, escaping toxic workplaces, and landing their dream jobs."
I Dunno If This Guy Was Trolling, But We Received This Resume A While Ago
One Of My Recruiters Just Received This Resume This Morning
Why Am I Getting Such An Influx Of People That Act Like This Is Not A Professional Job? Yes, You Need A Resume, And Sorry We Don’t “Hold Dogs Down”
Don't hold dogs down, motivate them! Show them their carrier options, how to plan the future, and be the best canines they can be.
All in all, resumes are quite a big deal. They can help us forge our path forward but also put us in unfair and unfortunate situations. They make you think whether simple pieces of paper should have such significance in determining our lives. After all, sometimes they are the only thing that another person will ever know about us. Either way, keeping that in mind is important and might prevent you from making the regrettable yet hilarious mistakes people made when creating resumes posted in this list. To witness more similar accidents, check out our posts here and here.
A CV That Was Handed To Me In Work Recently That I Had To Get A Picture Of Before I Passed It On To The Manager
After Spending The Past Two Weeks Handing Out Resumes, I Just Noticed It Says Excessive Masturbation Under My Hobbies
A CV Emailed To The Recruitment Agency I Work For. This Is The Entire Resume And The Blue Is Where His Name Was
Well, It Definitely Makes An Impression
I don't even need to read it, you have an interview and I will MAKE a position for you if I have to
I Had A Question About Your Resume, Miss
Nevermind the WordArt graphics, all the quotation marks are bothering me far more
I Once Received This Resume, And I'm Still Uncertain Whether The Person Intended It As A Joke
As the last word on the page, it’s too obvious not to have been a joke.
Guy Came Into Work With This Resume
Give Hulk Job
Funny way to get your name out there. I gotta give this animator some props for guts.
I felt like doing this the last time I was job-hunting. It's frustrating after a while, my dudes.
My Company Is Hiring. This Was By Far My Favorite Resume. I Mean, Really?
If the CV was for a job in graphic design. This person has nailed it.
There Was An Attempt To Showcase Language Skills On The CV
French - Fluent, Spanish - Fluent, Manadrin - Beginner, English - Questionable
We Have Seen A Bad Resume Or Two, But This One Is Quite Special
Diabetes Is An Activity Now?
A Job Recruiter Actually Received This Resume. This Should Go Without Saying, But Don't Do This
Just Saw This Resume. I Don't Think They Know What A Reference Is
Presenting My 2004 Resume. "They'll Hire Me For Sure". They Didn't
Our Company Received This Resume From An Applicant Today
People get desperate for a job sometimes. I get it. I've been there.
This Kid Tried Applying At My Store The Other Day. He Used Tupac As The Background Of His Resume
This Is An Actual Resume That I Received Today
Probably Best Not To Include That On Your Resume
In some clubs, when you're hired as a dancer, then standing in high places (like on tables/piano) so the audience can see you dance, is exactly what you're supposed to do. Out of context it sounds like someone who is just wild/drunk, but their job description above says 'dancer', so it's silly to assume something different.
Local Company Received This Resume. I Bet They Hired Him On The Spot
Once had a resume come in to me with a photo of the guy in a lurid yellow spandex top skin tight. Described himself as “ socially active b-boy who likes to keep it real “
:( Some of these are sad. Making fun of people who come from different socioeconomic backgrounds and educational opportunities is not cool. Also many of these are people who need to apply for jobs, hoping they won't be interviewed so they can continue to collect unemployment.
I work with a product called ServiceNow. One word, capital S, capital N. Not Service Now, not Servicenow, not Service-Now. ServiceNow. If I'm asked to review a resume, and they spell it wrong, I immediately reject it. If they spell it two or more different ways, that's even worse, and yes, I've seen that. (You might say that they may have a learning disability, or that they can use the product without knowing how to spell its name. First, I have a learning disability and spelling and typing are a challenge for me. I'd never spell it wrong on a resume. Second, I'm a consultant, so people are paying a lot of money to my company for my time. A lot of money. If you're attention to detail is so poor that you can't spell the name of the product you're supposed to be a subject matter expert in, then I'm not going to be able to trust your work to hand over to the client.)
As someone who hires people and reviews resumes.. these don't surprise me. High schools need to teach resume writing. I am so tired of getting high school aged kids resumes that list grades, classes, and a million "special projects", club participation, "research", and non profits they have "founded"
What...so you automatically disqualify high school students for highlighting their only experience at that point, which for many is just, well high school. You're a clas act, indeed, pun intended.
Load More Replies...I find these funny, some quite creative. Resumes generally suck - the process sucks. I spent hours composing, editing, customizing for specific positions. As recruiters & companies migrated to key word filters, did that too. Did resumes work? A couple times in 45 years of working, but only to get a call or interview. Doesn't get you the position. There must be a better way.
My brain hurts now, I'm going for a lie down. I may be some time.
Once had a resume come in to me with a photo of the guy in a lurid yellow spandex top skin tight. Described himself as “ socially active b-boy who likes to keep it real “
:( Some of these are sad. Making fun of people who come from different socioeconomic backgrounds and educational opportunities is not cool. Also many of these are people who need to apply for jobs, hoping they won't be interviewed so they can continue to collect unemployment.
I work with a product called ServiceNow. One word, capital S, capital N. Not Service Now, not Servicenow, not Service-Now. ServiceNow. If I'm asked to review a resume, and they spell it wrong, I immediately reject it. If they spell it two or more different ways, that's even worse, and yes, I've seen that. (You might say that they may have a learning disability, or that they can use the product without knowing how to spell its name. First, I have a learning disability and spelling and typing are a challenge for me. I'd never spell it wrong on a resume. Second, I'm a consultant, so people are paying a lot of money to my company for my time. A lot of money. If you're attention to detail is so poor that you can't spell the name of the product you're supposed to be a subject matter expert in, then I'm not going to be able to trust your work to hand over to the client.)
As someone who hires people and reviews resumes.. these don't surprise me. High schools need to teach resume writing. I am so tired of getting high school aged kids resumes that list grades, classes, and a million "special projects", club participation, "research", and non profits they have "founded"
What...so you automatically disqualify high school students for highlighting their only experience at that point, which for many is just, well high school. You're a clas act, indeed, pun intended.
Load More Replies...I find these funny, some quite creative. Resumes generally suck - the process sucks. I spent hours composing, editing, customizing for specific positions. As recruiters & companies migrated to key word filters, did that too. Did resumes work? A couple times in 45 years of working, but only to get a call or interview. Doesn't get you the position. There must be a better way.
My brain hurts now, I'm going for a lie down. I may be some time.