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Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny

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There are funny puns, clever puns, and then there are bad puns. Puns that are so cringy, predictable, and downright stupid that it might just be the most hilarious thing that you've heard. And that's just how it works with us, humans - the stupider the joke, the more we enjoy it. Well, most of the time, at least. Though we could guess why human nature dictates laughing at silly things, there's no definite answer to this age-old question. Maybe it's because it's so easy to understand these jokes - no hidden meanings or a need to read Marcel Proust's works to get it. Every one of us, no matter how cultured or educated, loves us some genre-classic low-brow humor deep down inside, a guilty pleasure, so to speak. It could also be that we get a sort of high to think that someone could be so stupid to come up with such an abominable example of a one-liner. You know, a chance to feel smarter-than-thou, which isn't a frequent occurrence to some of us. Ignorance is always funny when it's not you demonstrating it, I guess. But enough of this guessing game, you can play it on your own accord, and time to get along with our main topic here - bad puns.

If you were to scroll down just a couple of inches below, you'd find the sweet fruits of our research for the most inadequate puns and jokes. Some of them are so bad; you might just spray your keyboard with coffee out of sheer incredulity. And though we don't often place bets on things that are a matter of taste, here we are pretty confident about the aforementioned outcome. So, don't forget to vote for the worst puns, share these uncool jokes with your friends, and contribute to our list with your most unique puns.

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#1

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

49points

Hooman 3 years ago

Took me longer than I would like to admit to get this one :/

5points

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#2

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

44points

malenchki 3 years ago (edited)

Oml we found the guy who took a day off February

15points

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#3

Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population?

Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.

42points

Marc Dusablon 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

#4

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea.

32points

Max Thompson 3 years ago

this happens to me too, you sea

3points

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#5

I just bought a thesaurus from the book store, but when I got home all the pages were blank. There are no words to describe how angry I am.

32points

Max Thompson 3 years ago

Annoyed,bitter,enraged, exasperated,furious, heated, impassioned, indignant, irate,irritable, vexed

7points

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#6

Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

31points

Dina Simoné 3 years ago

One sexy salad

7points

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#7

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Did you hear about the boy who tried to catch fog?

He mist.

31points

PaintHat 3 years ago

I don't get this one :(

3points

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#8

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite.

31points

Nicola Dimigen 3 years ago

Frosty the vampire!

8points

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#9

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.

28points

Rench 3 years ago

Two guys walked into a bar....the third guy ducked....

6points

#10

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

27points

Meif’wa Fan 3 years ago

I'm having a very vivid picture...it's not pretty

6points

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#11

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

I heard it was good but it had no atmosphere.

26points

Kona Pake 3 years ago

Tang and freeze dried entrée with dessert.

4points

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#12

What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

24points

Abnus 1 year ago

What’s up, Beach!

1point

#13

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny A friend of mine annoyed me with bird puns. But toucan play that game.

24points

Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago

You can't be cereous. How long did it take you to think that fluff up? Can you do it in a finch?

2points

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#14

I was sitting in traffic the other day. Probably why I got run over.

24points

Nicola Dimigen 3 years ago

YA THINK?

8points

#15

What did the ghost teacher say to his class?

Look at the board and I will go through it again.

24points

Diana Buckland 3 years ago

Oooo.....tricks

2points

#16

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.

23points

Nicola Dimigen 3 years ago

Literally.

1point

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#17

Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

23points

Melissa Boatman Linebaugh 3 years ago

Sadly, that could happen here in the states.

-3points

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#18

“How is your long distance relationship going?”

– “So far, so good.”

23points

#19

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because it's pee is silent.

23points

Nicola Dimigen 3 years ago

Because they're dead.

13points

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#20

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use a honeycomb.

23points

Scagsy 3 years ago

Have London Wasps got a B team?

3points

#21

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?

He was lucky it was a soft drink.

23points

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#22

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

A Yamahahaha.

22points

Rench 3 years ago

Ho-ho-honda?

5points

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#23

When she saw her first strands of gray, she thought she’d dye.

22points

Steve Fischer 3 years ago

But only for five minutes

2points

#24

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

22points

#25

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

21points

Dina Simoné 3 years ago

True

3points

#26

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.

21points

Softball05 3 years ago

*tortilla in sunglasses and gold chain drops mic*

3points

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#27

What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.

21points

Rhia Yao 3 years ago

heard this joke before

2points

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#28

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

20points

#29

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."

19points

Andrea Lange 3 years ago

While typing on your phone, what's changing the words into something completely different than you wanted to write? 🙄 AutocoWrecked

3points

#30

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

19points

Scagsy 3 years ago

A hole has appeared in the side of a nudist colony. Police are looking into it.

7points

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#31

Why is peter pan always flying?

He neverlands.

19points

Jeanette Roos 3 years ago

He neverlands on "Wendy" day

1point

#32

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I lost my job at the bank on the very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.

19points

Dina Simoné 3 years ago

Love that image 😄

3points

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#33

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive?

It was a grave mistake.

18points

Cass Malone 3 years ago

This is actually my biggest fear

3points

#34

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Acupuncture is a jab well done.

18points

#35

How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Act like a nut.

18points

Jo Johannsen 3 years ago

I got this.

5points

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#36

I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said Wii.

18points

Rainbow Dash 1 year ago

😑

2points

#37

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny A police officer knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes. I looked at him and said, "don't be ridiculous, my dogs don't even own bikes."

18points

Rhia Yao 3 years ago

😂

0points

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#38

Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.

18points

#39

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

18points

Rainbow Dash 1 year ago

How do we know the moon is a boy

1point

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#40

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I'm very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.

17points

#41

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Claus-trophobic.

17points

Daniel Jones 3 years ago

It is probably because they are afraid of chimneys

0points

#42

How can you tell if a vampire has a cold?

He starts coffin.

17points

#43

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What does C.S. Lewis keep at the back of his wardrobe?

Narnia business!

16points

YoyoSthlm 3 years ago

I'm imagining this in a Boston accent

1point

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#44

What do you call a sad cheese?

A blue cheese.

16points

#45

I used to be a tap dancer, until I fell in the sink.

16points

Steve Fischer 3 years ago

I used to sing in the shower until I almost drowned

0points

#46

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?

A dino-snore.

15points

Sam rice 3 years ago

Courtesy of Jurassic park: what do you call a blind dinosaur? -doyouthinkhesaurus. What do you call a blind dinosaurs dog? -doyouthinkhesaurus rex

0points

#47

Why do French people eat snails?

Because they won't touch fast food.

15points

#48

What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

15points

#49

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you?

Slice to meet you.

15points

Nicola Dimigen 3 years ago

Well, Herc, it's been a slice.

2points

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#50

If you ever feel cold just stand in a corner. They’re usually around 90 degrees.

15points

#51

How can you tell if the ocean is friendly?

It waves.

15points

#52

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why was King Arthur's army too tired to fight?

It had too many sleepless knights.

14points

#53

Shout out to the people who ask what the opposite of "in" is.

14points

YoyoSthlm 3 years ago

Oooh clever

2points

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#54

What animal is at a baseball game?

A bat.

14points

#55

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own?

It was too tired.

14points

Francine Govan 3 years ago

It was two-tired!

4points

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#56

I heard a funny joke about a boomerang earlier. I'm sure it'll come back to me.

14points

#57

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

14points

#58

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny There was a kidnapping at school. Don't worry, he woke up.

14points

#59

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

13points

#60

Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?

She was fed up with the hole business.

13points

Paul Geyer 3 years ago

What do they do with the left over holes? They tie them together and make fishing nets!

0points

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#61

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Where do milkshakes come from?

Nervous cows.

13points

#62

What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator?

Hey, close the door, I'm dressing!

13points

DutchyInSpain 2 years ago

How is mayonnaise dressing? You eat it with French Fries, that's ir..

0points

#63

How much room should you give fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

13points

#64

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What does a nosey pepper do?

It gets jalapeno your business.

13points

#65

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two.

13points

#66

Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll.

13points

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#67

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why should you never break up with a goalie?

Because he's a keeper.

13points

Steve Fischer 3 years ago

Because he has a big stick

1point

#68

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree.

13points

#69

My friend made a joke about the TV controller. It wasn't remotely funny.

13points

#70

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Bobby broke his finger today, but on the other hand he was completely fine.

13points

#71

How much money does a pirate pay for corn?

A buccaneer.

12points

#72

Don't interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you'll hear some crosswords.

12points

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#73

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

12points

#74

Why are cats bad storytellers?

Because they only have one tale.

12points

Andrea Lange 3 years ago

...but nine lives 😼 they just don't share their precious stories with everyone 😌

1point

#75

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12points

#76

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What do you get if you cross a snake with a pie?

A pie-thon.

12points

Steve Fischer 3 years ago

What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey? Most of the time you get an onion with hair. But sometimes you get a piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

3points

#77

Why can't a leopard hide?

Because he's always spotted.

12points

#78

What noise do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?

Cowboom.

12points

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#79

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny How do you make a lemon drop?

Just let it fall.

12points

#80

What did the clock do when he was hungry?

He went back four seconds.

12points

#81

What was the most popular dance in 1776?

The indepen-dance.

12points

#82

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny How does a vampire start a letter?

Tomb it may concern.

12points

#83

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

Because she wanted to go to high school.

12points

Jeanette Roos 3 years ago

It was his Step Ladder because he didn't know his Real Ladder

0points

#84

How did the picture end up in jail?

It was framed.

12points

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#85

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why couldn't the astronaut book a hotel room on the moon?

Because it was full.

12points

#86

Why did the book join the police?

He wanted to go undercover.

12points

#87

Did you hear about the guy who had his left leg and his left arm amputated in a car accident?

He's all right now.

12points

YoyoSthlm 3 years ago

No need to talk about the car accident

0points

#88

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

12points

#89

Thanks for explaining the word many to me, it means a lot.

12points

#90

The thing I don’t like about shopping centers… When you see one, you’ve seen a mall.

11points

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#91

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What happens when it's raining cats and dogs?

I don't know but you can step in a poodle.

11points

#92

Why did the cookie go to hospital?

Because he felt crummy.

11points

#93

What was the reporter doing in the ice cream shop?

Getting the scoop.

11points

#94

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What is a computer's favorite snack?

Computer chips.

11points

#95

What did the hamburger name its baby?

Patty.

11points

#96

Did you hear about the antiques collector who found an old Coca Cola lamp?

She was soda lighted.

11points

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#97

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I told my friend I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta.

11points

#98

Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?

Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn have ears.

11points

#99

Why don't ghosts like parties?

They have nobody to dance with.

11points

#100

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

11points

#101

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

You rocket.

11points

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#102

I'm a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

10points

#103

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter.

10points

#104

All these sea monster jokes are just Kraken me up.

10points

#105

Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between the pot he uses to make potions and his best friend?

They're both cauld ron.

10points

Steve Fischer 3 years ago

The pot made him too stoned

1point

#106

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny A termite walks into a bar and says, "Where is the bar tender?"

10points

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#107

Why did the gym close down?

It just didn’t work out.

10points

#108

My ceiling isn’t the best… But it’s up there!!!

10points

#109

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What do you do when life gives you melons?

See a doctor, because you’re probably dyslexic.

10points

Andrea Lange 3 years ago

In case you're a cetacean, it just means everything went right 😁👍🏼

0points

#110

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

10points

#111

Last week I called someone a watering hole but I meant well.

10points

#112

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny If your dog was craving pizza what kind of pizza would he want?

Puperoni.

10points

Ruth Martin 3 years ago

With muttsarella :D

1point

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#113

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bull-dozer.

10points

Steve Fischer 3 years ago

Tomorrow's dinner

1point

#114

Which dinosaur has the best vocabulary?

The thesaurus.

10points

#115

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because the chicken wasn't born yet.

10points

#116

What does the baker always say to his customers?

Do you oven come here?

10points

Steve Fischer 3 years ago

Only when I'm baked.

1point

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#117

What's Harry Potter's favourite way to get down a hill?

Walking... JK, Rolling.

10points

#118

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny A Mexican magician told his audience he would disappear on the count of three. He wrapped his cape around himself and began to count. "Uno… Dos…" and then POOF, he disappeared without a Tres.

10points

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#119

Why don't you interrupt someone working on a puzzle?

You'll hear some crosswords.

10points

Rhia Yao 3 years ago

already read this it was upper on the list

0points

#120

Which building in New York has the most stories?

The public library.

10points

#121

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I've just been fired from a clock factory, even after all those extra hours I put in.

10points

#122

What did the big flower say to the little flower?

Hi bud.

10points

#123

Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.

10points

#124

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Pencils could be made with erasers at each end, but what would be the point?

10points

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#125

Why did Johnny throw his clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly.

10points

#126

I saw an ad that said "television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full" and I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.

10points

#127

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Today my son walked over and said "could I have a book mark"?

I burst into tears. 11-years-old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

10points

#128

I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.

9points

#129

Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make up everything!

9points

Ruth Martin 3 years ago

Atoms be sus.

0points

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#130

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

9points

#131

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle?

A tire.

9points

#132

I put all my spare cash into an origami business. It folded.

9points

Jeanette Roos 3 years ago

LOL...LOL

0points

#133

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Someone sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

9points

#134

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon?

It’s not the end of the world.

9points

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#135

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

9points

#136

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.

9points

#137

How do trees get online?

They just log in.

9points

#138

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case

9points

#139

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Sticks float. They would.

9points

#140

In ancient Rome, deli workers were told that they could eat anything they wanted during the lunch hour. Anything, that is except the smoked salmon. Thus were created the world's first anti-lox breaks.

9points

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#141

What has fangs and webbed feet?

Count Duckula.

9points

#142

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why don't dogs make good dancers?

Because they have two left feet.

9points

#143

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "wow I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?"

"Pop", goes the weasel.

9points

#144

A wife says to her husband that a moose is falling from the sky. The husband looks and says, it's just reindeer.

9points

#145

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny A cheese sandwich walks into a bar. The waiter says, 'we don't serve food here.'

9points

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#146

Why was the baby strawberry crying?

Because its parents were in a jam.

9points

#147

What did the pizza say to the beautiful topping?

I never SAUsage a beautiful face.

9points

#148

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny How do you say goodbye to a hotdog?

Bun voyage.

9points

#149

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

9points

#150

Two pickles fell out of the jar onto the floor. What did one pickle say to the other?

Dill with it.

9points

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#151

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What's an astronaut's favourite part of a computer?

The space bar.

9points

#152

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogey in it.

9points

#153

I wanted to learn to dance so I started with salsa. I wanted something I could dip in to.

9points

#154

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it steel wooden lead me whistle.

9points

#155

What is a tornado's favorite game to play?

Twister.

9points

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#156

Why don't I get my friends 'Harry Potter' jokes?

Because there is something Ron with you.

9points

#157

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Don't drink with ghosts, they can't handle their boos.

9points

#158

What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

9points

#159

What did one toilet say to the other?

You look flushed.

9points

#160

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Where do pencils go on vacation?

Pencil-vania.

9points

#161

Why did the police go to the daycare center?

A three-year-old was resisting a rest.

9points

PenitentEyeball 3 years ago

Ooh copy

0points

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#162

Doctor, doctor, help! I think I'm shrinking! Take this and you’ll be back to normal in a few weeks. Until then, you’ll just have to be a little patient.

9points

#163

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What do you call an attractive volcano?

Lava-ble.

9points

Steve Fischer 3 years ago

She gives you an eruption

0points

#164

Once, there was a lumberjack who wandered into a magical forest. As he swung his axe at a tree, the tree said "don’t cut me down, I’m a talking tree!" The lumberjack replied, "and you will dialogue."

9points

#165

What did the perscriptivist owl say?

Whom whom.

9points

#166

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a rum …………………. and coke.”

The bartender asks, “What’s with the big pause?”

The bear shrugs. “I was born with them.”

9points

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

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#167

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!

8points

#168

The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It doesn't make any cents!

8points

#169

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why can't you run through a campground?

You can only ran, because it's past tents.

8points

#170

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”

I said, “Can’t say.

8points

#171

I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.

8points

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50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#172

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. I’m not really a mourning person.

8points

#173

Why not go out on a limb?

Isn't that where all the fruit is?

8points

#174

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?

He was lucky it was a soft drink.

8points

#175

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I told my mom I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta.

8points

#176

Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

8points

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Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#177

What is Forrest Gump's email password?

1Forrest1.

8points

#178

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

8points

#179

I suffer from kleptomania, but when it gets really bad, I take something for it.

8points

#180

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?

He'd stop at nothing to avoid them.

8points

#181

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Who was Socrates’ worst student?

Mediocrities. Who was his busiest student?

The one with a lot on his Plato.

8points

#182

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho cheese!

8points

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Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#183

Why do hamburgers go to the gym?

To get better buns.

8points

#184

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

8points

Nicola Dimigen 3 years ago

Another copy.

0points

#185

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

8points

#186

Did you hear the news about that Chinese restaurant that got vandalized?

It was an act of wonton destruction.

8points

#187

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny 6:30 is the best time on a clock… hands down.

8points

#188

I work in a paper factory, where my responsibilities are twofold.

8points

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"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#189

Why was the cow afraid?

He was a cow-herd.

8points

#190

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Where do cows go for entertainment?

To the moo-vies.

8points

#191

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles.

8points

#192

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam.

8points

#193

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What did the elephant say when he stopped in the middle of telling a story?

Never mind, I realize this is irrelephant.

8points

#194

Why didn't the crab donate to charity?

He's shellfish.

8points

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

Internet Gives Unemployed Woman A Reality Check After She Expects Friends To Buy Her A Trip

Internet Gives Unemployed Woman A Reality Check After She Expects Friends To Buy Her A Trip

Internet Gives Unemployed Woman A Reality Check After She Expects Friends To Buy Her A Trip

#195

Which day of the week is a chicken's least favourite?

Fry-day.

8points

#196

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

8points

#197

What was the goal of the detective duck?

To quack the case of course.

8points

#198

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?

Swimming trunks.

8points

#199

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why are all dogs bad storytellers?

Because they only have one tale.

8points

#200

I once met a pig that did karate. We called him Pork Chop.

8points

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#201

Why did the lion spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny.

8points

#202

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What's a cats favourite colour?

Purrr-ple.

8points

#203

What did the pony say when he had a sore throat?

"Do you have any water? I'm a little horse."

8points

#204

What time does a duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

8points

#205

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?

He was trying to make both ends meet.

8points

#206

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind. A maybe.

8points

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#207

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

8points

Steve Fischer 3 years ago

An alligator dressed to kill

1point

#208

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?

A dino-snore.

8points

#209

Why did the giraffe get bad grades?

Because he had his head in the clouds.

8points

#210

What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A neigh-bor.

8points

#211

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What did the dalmatian say after lunch?

That hit the spot.

8points

#212

A dragon walks into a bar. "It's hot in here" he says. "Shut your mouth" says the waiter.

8points

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#213

What kind of key opens a banana?

A monkey.

8points

#214

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Do you want to taco 'bout it?

It's nacho problem.

8points

Steve Fischer 3 years ago

Bean me up Scotty

0points

#215

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?

Where is pop corn?

8points

#216

Why did the butcher do overtime last week?

To make ends meat.

8points

#217

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why was the cookie sad?

Because his mum was a wafer so long.

8points

#218

Did you hear the rumour about the butter?

Never mind, it wouldn't spread.

8points

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#219

Did you hear about the circus fire?

It was in tents.

8points

#220

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?

A stick.

8points

#221

I used to wonder why frisbees looked bigger the closer they got. Then it hit me.

8points

#222

How does a scientist freshen her breath?

With experi-mints.

8points

#223

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I wanted to take a picture of the fog this morning but I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow.

8points

#224

What did the librarian say when the books were a mess?

We ought to be ashamed of ourshelves.

8points

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#225

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

8points

#226

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny How much does it cost a pirate to gets his ears pierced?

About a buck an ear.

8points

#227

Doctor, there’s a patient on line one that says he’s invisible. Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.

8points

Andrea Lange 3 years ago

Why is the waiting room in the doc's office always full of people? Everyone is patient.

0points

#228

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

8points

#229

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What do you a call a knight who afraid to fight?

Sir Render.

8points

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#230

Why did the pun fail his English class?

Because he didn't use proper pun-ctuation.

8points

#231

Today at the store the cashier gave me two pennies in change and said have a good day, don't spend it all at once. I said thank you for your two cents.

8points

#232

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I'm working on a device that reads minds. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

8points

#233

What washes up on very small beaches?

Microwaves.

8points

#234

I was struggling to figure out how lightning works. Then it struck me.

8points

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#235

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny All the toilets in the NYPD Headquarters have been stolen. The police apparently have nothing to go on.

8points

#236

Ray’s friends claim he’s a baseball nut. He says they’re way off base.

7points

#237

The public safety officer came up to a large mob of people outside a department store and asked, “What’s happening?”

A mall officer replied, “These people are waiting to get the new Barbie doll.” The public safety officer shook his head and muttered, “Who can resist a Barbie queue?”

7points

#238

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race?

It ended in a tie!

7points

#239

Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.

7points

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#240

Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner?

Because he couldn't find a date.

7points

#241

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. – What a waste of thyme.

7points

#242

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive?

It was a grave mistake.

7points

#243

Why did the spider log on to the computer?

To check his web site.

7points

#244

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why did the cat go to medical school?

To become a first aid kit.

7points

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#245

What do you say to a Llama that loves picnicking?

Alpaca lunch.

7points

#246

My dog can do magic tricks. It's a labracadabrador.

7points

#247

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class?

Why the long face?

7points

#248

What do you get when two dinosaur crash their cars?

A T-wrecks.

7points

#249

Who stole the soap out of the bathtub?

The robber ducky.

7points

#250

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What dog keeps the best time?

A watch dog.

7points

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#251

What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?

A firequacker.

7points

#252

Learning to sleep upside down is hard for bats, but eventually they get the hang of it.

7points

#253

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What did one plate say to the other?

Lunch is on me.

7points

#254

What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A rocket chip.

7points

#255

What type of candy is never on time?

Choco-late.

7points

#256

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What did the waiter say when he dropped a hotdog?

It could have been wurst.

7points

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#257

How do you make a good egg roll?

You push it down a hill.

7points

#258

What is every soccer players favourite drink?

Penal-tea.

7points

#259

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Have an egg-cellent day. I hope it's eggs-tra good.

7points

#260

Why did the student eat his homework?

Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

7points

#261

I had a crazy dream last night. I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of orange soda. Turns out it was just a fanta-sea.

7points

#262

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I went to a restaurant last night and had the Wookie steak. It was a little chewy.

7points

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#263

Why didn't the orange win the race?

He ran out of juice.

7points

#264

What do cakes and a baseball have in common?

They both need a batter.

7points

#265

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why don’t basketball players don’t like to leave their hometown?

They hate travelling too much.

7points

#266

Why are basketball players such messy eaters?

Because they’re always dribbling.

7points

#267

What did the nose say to the finger?

Quit picking on me.

7points

#268

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why do thieves have a hard time understanding puns?

Because they take things literally.

7points

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#269

I've just been fired from a clock factory, even after all those extra hours I put in.

7points

#270

What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.

7points

#271

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why are robots never afraid?

They have nerves of steel.

7points

#272

Do you want to know why I hate circles so much?

They’re just so pointless, but I guess that’s how they roll.

7points

#273

What do you call a funny mountain?

Hill-arious.

7points

#274

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling.

7points

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#275

Learning to collect trash wasn't that hard. I just picked it up as I went along.

7points

#276

How would you describe a pun about a pun?

It's pun-ishingly bad.

7points

#277

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Have you ever tried to write your own puns?

It's a fairly difficult pun-dertaking.

7points

#278

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?

Because her students were so bright.

7points

#279

What do you call a ghost's true love?

His ghoul-friend.

7points

#280

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I have a speed bump phobia, but I'm slowly getting over it.

7points

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#281

I thought about becoming a witch so I tried it for a short spell.

7points

#282

A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Unfortunately he lost his case.

7points

#283

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I’m addicted to brake fluid, but it’s OK because I can stop at any time.

7points

#284

Did you know deer can jump higher than the average house?

It’s because of their strong hind legs and the fact that the average house can’t jump.

7points

#285

What did one eye say to the other?

Just between you and me, something smells.

7points

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#286

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I'm only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y.

6points

#287

Want to hear something terrible? Paper. See? I told you it was tear-able.

6points

#288

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

6points

#289

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins.

6points

#290

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

6points

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#291

What did the librarian say when the books were in a mess?

We ought to be ashamed of ourshelves!

6points

#292

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny How much room should you give fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

6points

#293

I asked the lion in my wardrobe what he was doing there. He said it was narnia business.

6points

#294

What do you call two birds in love?

Tweethearts.

6points

#295

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?

A walkie talkie.

6points

#296

What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?

Cashew!

6points

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#297

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it wasn't peeling well.

6points

#298

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What do you call cheese which isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

6points

#299

I had to clean out my spice rack and noticed that everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.

6points

#300

Why is it so easy to talk to ballet dancers?

They always get to the point.

6points

#301

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

6points

#302

What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

6points

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#303

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

6points

#304

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny When is the moon at its heaviest?

When it's full.

6points

#305

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells.

6points

#306

What do you call Dracula with hayfever?

The pollen count.

6points

#307

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What do you call a happy cowboy?

A jolly rancher.

6points

#308

What did the judge say when the skunk came into the courtroom?

Odor in the court.

6points

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#309

Did you hear about the auto body shop that just opened?

It comes highly wreck-a-mended.

5points

#310

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny An atom loses an electron… it says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”

5points

#311

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

5points

#312

What do you call a cow spying on another cow?

A steak out.

5points

#313

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they have big fingers.

5points

YoyoSthlm 3 years ago

Not a pun.

0points

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#314

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

Ruff!

5points

#315

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "what kind of music do you like?"

The other says, "I’m a big metal fan."

5points

#316

Bad Puns That Are Deliciously Funny What do you get when you plant kisses?

Two lips.

5points

#317

Why did the Zen master refuse novocaine when he had his tooth pulled?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

3points

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Aivaras Kaziukonis

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

What do you think ?

Vicky Z 3 years ago

These are so bad that it hurts!

3points

Duncan 3 years ago

Lame

3points

Rhia Yao 3 years ago

i quite liked them

2points

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Vicky Z 3 years ago

These are so bad that it hurts!

3points

Duncan 3 years ago

Lame

3points

Rhia Yao 3 years ago

i quite liked them

2points

Load More Comments

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