When they wait for you to stop talking instead of listening to what you're actually saying, and some people don't even wait, they just try to cut you off constantly.

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Lily Robertson

Lily Robertson

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1 year ago

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My boss constantly interrupts me or just walks away when I'm talking. Sometimes he comes back later and asks what I was going to say and now i just tell him i don't remember. I told my him one day he better hope I was never the one who had to tell him he was on fire. He had the nerve to look hurt and shocked.

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1. They will treat you like a doormat and the relationship dynamic is incredibly one sided in that regard. They will fully expect you to tolerate extremely poor behaviour from them and other people but will react very angrily when you actually stand up for yourself or they otherwise feel you have disrespected or offended them in some way.
2. They seek conflict on purpose and will cause it in any way possible.
3. They hold onto grudges easily and won't let anything go without a fight. They keep track of how you have disrespected them over time.
4. They are extremely vindictive and will find any way to punish you every time they feel you have disrespected them.
5. They are extremely argumentative and will proceed to give long, ranting lectures instead of speaking in a calm, respectful manner.
6. They are extremely negative and critical all of the time and will never offer anything positive to a discussion. This also extends to them never being happy for you in any way. E.g., getting good grades at school or a job promotion at work.
7. Due to this constant negativity, you cannot speak to them because you know that they will respond in this way, or feel that you are walking on egg shells around them because of their negativity.
8. They are verbally abusive. They'll insult you, call you names, etc, etc. They'll also belittle you, your hobbies and interests, as well as friends and family. They'll use offensive language to that effect, e.g., calling your (actually decent) car a piece of junk or calling your friend a loser.
9. Lack of effective communication.
10. They are never willing to compromise on a situation and will issue ultimatums instead.
11. They put conditions on their love towards you and having a relationship with you.
12. They view you as as a burden.
13. They are prone to physical violence.
14. They are gaslighters.
15. They love bomb you.
16. They are extremely selfish and self-centred, they will only ever think of themselves. They will also only ever care about their own needs and wants, no one else's.
17. They lack empathy and compassion towards other people.
18. They are financially abusive. They will use money to control and manipulate you into doing what they want.
19. They are very accusatory. E.g., when you are looking for a job, they're calling you lazy or saying that you "have a bad attitude" and you don't want to work. However, these accusations would be completely unfounded and it's just an extension of their abuse as per #8.
20. Almost every time you would spend time with them or otherwise communicate like a phone call or a text message, there would always be some kind of agenda or ulterior motive behind it, because they want something from you and not to have a "normal" conversation. It is very much a transactional relationship.
21. They view you as a punching bag. Meaning that if they're having a bad day for whatever reason that had absolutely nothing to do with you, they'll lash out at you regardless.
22. They outright refuse to help you in absolutely any way whatsoever, even in difficult times. Or if they *do* choose to help you, they want something in return. They want you to "return the favour."
23. They crave attention 24/7 and have an intense dislike towards the idea of you having a life outside of them. They fully expect you to be at their beck and call at all times with no exception.
24. They do not respect your privacy. They'll repeatedly barge into your room, demand to know who you are phoning, etc. They'll also speak about you to other people behind your back and share extremely personal information about you without your explicit permission.
25. They are frequently dishonest to you and to other people about you. They'll attempt to paint you in a bad light by omitting certain details and otherwise twisting the narrative to suit their agenda.
26. They are never, ever wrong and refuse to ever apologise for anything. They think they can sweep their poor behaviour under the rug and pretend nothing ever happened. Instead of accepting responsibility for their (or other people's) poor behaviour, they will deflect blame away from themselves and engage in victim blaming and scapegoating.
27. They might attempt to isolate you from friends and family.
28. They play the victim in any given situation.
29. They might also give you the silent treatment and ignore you for prolonged periods of time without explanation. And then out of the blue they'll start speaking to you again like nothing happened.
30. When other people criticise you, they won't defend or support you in any way. In fact, they'll likely take the side of the other person criticising you.
31. They do not accept different opinions and theirs is the only valid one. They judge other people's opinions without understand their perspective first. They think that they own a monopoly on all the correct answers.
32. They threaten cruel and unusual punishments for the smallest mistake or infraction. This might also extend to threatening to ceasing all contact and disowning you completely as well for really minor things too.
33. They are prone to wild mood swings. One moment they'll appear to be "fine" and in a good mood, next moment they're angry and abusive. You never know what kind of mood they will be in on a given day. They get angry at the smallest thing and saying the "wrong" thing would instantly change their mood for the worse.
34. Whenever they are harassing you with any kind of abuse (physical, verbal, etc) and you plainly ask/tell them to stop, they'll ignore you and continue regardless. Either they lack the genuine empathy, or they just don't care in the slightest about the harm that they cause others.
35. They are extremely dismissive of your feelings and when you attempt to address a legitimate concern with them or otherwise confront them about their behaviour towards you, they'll attempt to invalidate your feelings and justify their behaviour towards you or otherwise downplay a situation that they caused.
36. They view parenting as simply providing the physical needs of the child, i.e., providing a roof over their head and feeding and clothing the child. But caring about the child's happiness and mental wellbeing? Not a concern for them.
37. They think that parenting has a age limit. As soon as the child reach X age (usually 18), they think that their job as a parent is done and subsequently want to kick out their child as soon as possible.
38. They view children as simply extensions of themselves and not as separate individuals with their own needs and wants. As a result, they think that they are entitled to dictate every aspect of their children's lives, even extremely trivial things.
39. They will blatantly favour one child over another instead of treating all of their children equally.
40. In the case of divorced parents, they'll use their children as pawns against the other parent and, more specifically, parental alienation. Meaning that they will constantly badmouth the other parent in an attempt to turn the child against said parent.

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Jeremy James

Jeremy James

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1 year ago (edited)

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Most of 1 through 31 sound like my ex. Have y'all met?

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