Join the Fun!

Saying that a kid has a boyfriend/girlfriend any time they are close friends with a child who isn't the same gender. On top of reinforcing the idea that boys and girls can't ever be strictly platonic friends, it's so creepy to project adult ideas of romantic relationships onto kids who are practically still toddlers.

Renmauzuo Report

Final score:

406points

POST

No_idea 3 years ago

Yes! This!

83points

Telling your kids your personal problems. Like, 'Your dad is horrible; he didn’t even do the dishes. I hate my marriage.' Your kids are not your therapist. Also, they can’t do anything to solve your problem. Instead, address your issues with your spouse and a therapist.

Desiger_jpg Report

Final score:

333points

POST

Vermillion Ace #443 3 years ago

This is my uncle in a nutshell.

36points

'You can tell me, and I won't be mad' followed by punishing them for whatever they admit. Then they wonder why their kids never talk to them.

SinkTube Report

Final score:

326points

POST

Roxy Eastland 3 years ago

I am sure I have as many parental failings as anyone else (possibly more) but I've never understood this one, even if a parent does stick to not being angry. I've always said to my kids that if they've wronged someone, by accident or on purpose, then that person has a right to be angry. Of course they also have a responsibility about how they behave, just because you let someone down or scratched their car or whatever doesn't mean they can now hit you or pour personal insults on you. But yes, they have a right to express how they feel and you have to accept that. It doesn't mean you're less of a person, it means you're taking it on the chin as you should. I then talk about how these things will come out somehow and that person will always end up angry at some point, and it's a million times better to be upfront and in control and deal with it as soon as possible, than for them to find out you've lied and hidden it from then. Boy, then they're really going to be furious.

51points

Being overly protective. If you don't let your kids fail or protect them too much, they'll be less capable of doing so once they've left home. Failure is good; just provide a safety net.

MyrddinWyllt Report

Final score:

297points

POST

LeighAnne Brown-Pedersen 3 years ago

Failure is a great teacher. Frankly so is pain. To a point, if you don’t let them fail, they will freak out when they do, and they will.

83points

Getting mad for 'disrespect' or 'talking back' when their kids win an argument.

Turtle_Lurtle37 Report

Final score:

284points

POST

JDH 3 years ago

OH MY GOD THANK YOU

78points

Using humiliation and embarrassment as a punishment.

SubOptimalGoat Report

Final score:

277points

POST

Leigh C. 3 years ago

It's one thing to put a kid in someone else's shoes to show them shaming someone for being different isn't cool. But what this one means is it's toxic to actually cause traumatic humiliation and embarrassment for something like soiling the bed at night, or publicly shaming them just because they did something wrong at home.

8points

Taking away their privacy. Unless your kid has a serious drug or self-harm problem, violating their privacy will almost certainly do more harm than good to their mental health, trust, and their relationship to you. It doesn't matter if it's installing spyware on their phones, tracking their movements, or taking away their bedroom door.

SinkTube Report

Final score:

261points

POST

Eslamala 3 years ago (edited)

It will also lead to children learning very quick how to hide stuff and lie.

82points

Telling little boys that they cant defend themselves against a girl who is hitting them just because theyre a girl. Thats bs, i was taught to fight back no matter who attacks you. Theres no gender in mutual combat.

AnimasMaker Report

Final score:

258points

POST

enby from hell 3 years ago

EXACTLY. I remember being hit by a boy in kindergarten, and the teacher told him he couldn't hit me because I was a girl. I was FURIOUS. 'I've got a right to be hit! I WANT TO BE HIT!' Long story short, my parents got called in along with the parents of the boy and there was a whole thing about it.

52points

#10

Invalidating their kids' emotions, be it ignoring or shutting them down.

GABBA_GH0UL Report

Final score:

255points

POST

I Liquored On 3 years ago

"Stop f*****g crying or I will slap you" one or my dads greatest hits

19points

#11

Making a child eat everything on their plate if they say they aren't hungry anymore. Do you want you kid to have an eating disorder? No, then don't because that's how you can cause one.

thatotherchicka Report

Final score:

247points

POST

Roxy Eastland 3 years ago

That said, you have to allow that parents do know their children and they do know when a child 'isn't hungry' because they have a standard main course and can't be bothered, but half an hour later are going to be whining in the kitchen because they're hungry and can they just have some biscuits or crisps. There's a balancing act, this is why parenting is harding than it looks on the surface.

20points

#12

Forced affection.

This is controversial (especially here in America) but I feel like we say “I love you” way too much to the point it loses its meaning. My dad (who was extremely emotionally abusive) used to force me to say the words “I love you daddy” to him, in private and in front of other people. By nature I have never been an affectionate person, especially in front of others. I don’t like to hug and kiss a lot.

I also don’t believe in making children hug people. If the child wants to hug them, they will. It shouldn’t be forced.

killing_carlo Report

Final score:

237points

POST

Jo Johannsen 3 years ago

I have an acquaintance whose son's answer to being told "no" is "I love you", like that should change the answer to yes.

36points

#13

Comparing them to their siblings. The good old, 'Why can't you be more like your brother/sister?' does nothing for their self-esteem and really can keep them from becoming their own person. That's all they should be anyway — themselves, not their siblings.

llcucf80 Report

Final score:

236points

POST

Shantelle Stratford 3 years ago

I refused to be like my brother in school simply for that reason. My parents always used that line on me and I HATED it. Not just because my brother was a huge d**k head and a bully.

36points

#14

The old “as long as I’m feeding you, clothing you, you’ll do what i say!” Or the “just be grateful i put a roof over your head”.

Specially If your parents constantly use that sentence to boss you around, disregard your opinions and wants, and belittle you. You didn’t asked to be born. And it’s their obligation to take care of you, not something they should loom over your head as leverage.

izzypy71c Report

Final score:

219points

POST

Vasana Phong 3 years ago

Isn’t it crazy how some parents have this mentality? It never even crossed my mind when I had my kids, did everything I was supposed to do, especially the essentials.

43points

#15

I’m not sure if this is “normal” or just something I see online.. but mums pulling the “just wait till dad gets home” card. Why would you want your kids to be afraid of their dad? And why should the dad have to play bad cop all the time? The last thing I want is my partner coming home from work and yelling at the kids for me.

mediastoosocial Report

Final score:

213points

POST

enby from hell 3 years ago

Yes! My parents always yell at me together. It's a team job. But it does have the effect of alienating neither of them. And I get my own back when it's my turn to lay the table--I give them sporks instead of forks.

41points

#16

Overly accommodating and praising children.
My sister always excelled in academics and was also an accomplished pianist in high school. My parents didn’t make her do any of the chores I had to in order to 'preserve her hands for piano.' Her excellence at school, in clubs, and with piano also kind of led to her being constantly praised by people around her. Now, in her mid-twenties, she lacks basic life skills (cooking, cleaning, and even self-cleaning) and is unable to take any criticism, no matter how small.

ribbitfrog290 Report

Final score:

183points

POST

Susan Widomski 3 years ago

I was chastised because I was teaching my younger brother how to wash clothes and prepare meals after our mom died. He was only twelve, but I was ten years older. I felt like he deserved a boost to be able to fend for himself and clean up after himself.

32points

Pohjoiset_Revontulet Report

#17

Not explaining their decisions. Like, 'You have to do this because I'm your mom/dad, and I say so. End of discussion!' Instead, you can bring your kids on board with sooo many of the decisions you make for them if you take the time to explain your reasoning to them. Kids understand more than a lot of parents think — just give them a chance.

Final score:

178points

POST

N G 3 years ago

There is a small step before explaining EVERYTHING about your decisions - sometimes you have to make a decision because otherwise your electricity will be cut off, and telling the truth will unnecessarily cause your child to worry about the household finances when they are much too young to grasp every nuance or be able to do a damn thing about it and becomes one of those people who watches every single penny well into adulthood even though they have a good job and a comfortable life. Sometimes "because" is the right answer to protect a child.

52points

#18

Making your female children change clothes when male family members come over.

No-Scarcity-6157 Report

Final score:

176points

POST

enby from hell 3 years ago

wait what do people even do this??? I was only told to change if I was in PJ's!

113points

Imheresometimes 3 years ago

It’s a thing, but my parents don’t tell me to change unless I’m in my Pj’s or in the clothes I wear when I paint.

8points

danielw 3 years ago

It's a thing when Uncle Pervert comes over. if you know your brother, or BiL is a pervert, and likely to molest your child... the proper solution is to not have him over. but, yeah. it's a sad, depressing thing.

7points

Celeste Grant 3 years ago

It certainly was a thing for me. No shorts, short dresses or skirts in case I made male visitors uncomfortable. The line "it's not fair on *insert guest name* if you forget to be ladylike" was the reason given. I just accepted it, but now I think it's a bit strange. I was always dressed pretty conservatively anyway!

4points

Joanna Maynard 3 years ago

I would do that with my kids whoever was coming round, male female family friend or professional. I would say you might want to get dressed, so and so is coming round.

3points

IAN KELLY 3 years ago

Apparently they do

2points

Franc Esca 3 years ago

Yes

1point

A_BadlyDrawnBearPic 3 years ago

Yup

1point

Rebekah Tracy 3 years ago

Yeah. Or if you’re in your pajamas and not wearing a bra or something they’ll tell you to go put one on.

1point

Mark Kelly 3 years ago

Yeah like a girl can’t wear a bikini or anything too showing too much skin.

0points

Half-Jewish-Doggo 3 years ago

dont tell your daughter to change when uncle randy comes over, stop f*****g telling uncle randy to come over

28points

Karin Lange 3 years ago

what??? Thats insane. If you are concerned that a family member is sexualizing a child, do not invite them into the house. Expecting the child to change clothes (to be "safe"?) gives them the wrong signals and gives them the feeling that they are to be blamed if someone assaults them.

26points

Tracy Wallick 3 years ago

Really teaches girls early on that adult men's sexuality is their problem, and not men's. :/

17points

Winnie 3 years ago

Pedophilia is NOT a sexuality, its people being gross

4points

MarieTDr 3 years ago

I have to admit that I don't even know what this means. Is it a thing?

12points

NinjaWolfy94 3 years ago

Means Uncle Randy is a pedo and the kid's parents are putting the responsibility of not getting hurt on the young girl rather than getting that disgusting adult male 'family' member out of their life.

4points

DarkAngelNic 3 years ago

Well if there is a problem then that male family member needs to stay far away, their mental illness of sexualizing a child is not the kid's fault.

9points

CrunChewy McSandybutt 3 years ago

I've never heard of this. Is this a cultural thing?

9points

New Prometheus 3 years ago

Probably. Never heard of it either

4points

Cookie 3 years ago

Then you should not invite those male paedo family members to come by.

7points

Val Tester 3 years ago

I've never had to do this but whenever someone was coming over I'd have to change if I looked 'homeless' in the words of my mom

5points

Amanda Beveridge 3 years ago

In my family, it was "go put on a bra." I'm large chested and bras suck to wear. Even now, in my late 30's, I will not wear a bra when at home. I don't care who is coming over. Why should I have to be physically uncomfortable just because it might make them feel awkward. If they don't like it, don't look. I'm not responsible for someone else's feelings.

4points

Gabunya Matata 3 years ago

i wouldn't let into my house a person who makes my children uncomfortable! doesn't matter what gender either of them are... i don't know what parent would!

4points

Evil Little Thing 3 years ago (edited)

I don't care what gender you are, everyone over the age of three should be wearing pants (or equivalent) when company comes.

3points

NinjaWolfy94 3 years ago

Good luck with that when you're in Australia outside in summer having a bbq.

3points

BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 3 years ago

I didn't know about this and I'm angry now. If there's someone coming over that is sexually attracted to a little girl so much that they have to change outfits, they should not be allowed around your children!

3points

Airis Malfoy 3 years ago

every.single.time. and yes, people still do it.

3points

New Prometheus 3 years ago

Culture related

2points

Moezarella 3 years ago

My parents do this, I hate it but also can understand the reasoning behind it, so its fine for me.

2points

Kay Lee 3 years ago

Back in kindergarten we had a pool session and my mom stripped me off in front of everyone to change into a swimsuit. It's been over 30 years and I still remember the feeling of humiliation.

2points

Debby Marengo 2 years ago

I guess if that funny uncle is coming over they don't want their daughter in a dress. Gawd forbid uncle takes it as a cue the little girl wants him to put his hands up her dress.

1point

Keely DENHAM 3 years ago

not me but happened to a friend she was told to change because an uncle of hers was coming over if the child has to change when someone comes over that person should not be invited over

1point

Renate Stargardt 3 years ago

That's "creepy" ... and happened to me, when I was a little girl (9 or 10). Every time a certain friend of my father's, or a certain uncle came to our house. When I got older, I was send to my room ... and stayed there, until the guy was gone.

1point

Anonymous 3 years ago

I hate this

1point

Cinnamoroll 3 years ago

This is part of the “Girls should wear pink and heels” stereotype.

1point

Ambar 3 years ago

I was told when boys come wear long pants and a shirt. don't matter if Its PJ's or outside clothes just WEAR something appropriate

1point

Samantha Hedgepath 2 years ago

Not sure why everyone assumes this is because parents care about who's coming over. It might actually be parents trying to teach their kids to respect themselves and care about how they appear, not for anyone else but themselves. Now it's wrong to teach self-value, I don't get it. However, if you are concerned that someone is sexualizing your child then you should definitely rethink your guest choices.

0points

Wistiti 3 years ago

that's a thing?

0points

Leslie Burleson 3 years ago

Um ... having a person dress appropriately is ok as long as your not insane about it. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask my daughter to wear pajamas her butt cheeks and boobs don't hang out of when we've got company. Same goes for my son . I don't care if his moobs are showing though lol

0points

Jaded McQueen 3 years ago

CREEPY AF. Unless the kid is covered in mud.....leave em ALONE. PERIOD.

0points

Bella, Your Kitty-Loving Queen 3 years ago

Huh. I didn’t know people did this. My parents only told me to change if I was in My pj’s

0points

Yeah, you heard 3 years ago

Pretty sure no sensible, normal parent would do this.

0points

Purr·maid 3 years ago

𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦.

0points

Holes2Heaven 3 years ago

Huh???

0points

willi santiago 3 years ago

That's a thing?!?!?!

0points

Damo Lee Park 3 years ago

Those male family members aren't allowed near my house or children. The rest manage to see my children as children, deserving of love and protection, not something to ogle and leer over

0points

Robert Thompson 3 years ago

The problem isn't the guest. It is the permissiveness when the guests aren't there. There should never be anything that is okay, only when aunt so and so isn't around.

0points

Cookie 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

TheScarletIbisNW 3 years ago

I think it's less about being pervy and more about it being awkward. I'm a private person. My family was also pretty private and was the only girl in a family of boys for most my childhood. No one really said anything, and maybe it's because I developed really early and I felt twice as awkward. However, i deff dress differently in my own home.

0points

RJS 3 years ago

That's a good reason to let your kids know that someone is coming over - but they should get to decide how to react to that information.

1point

Jazzy Mc. Jaz 3 years ago

yup my stepmother 101 than when her kid is like girl this girl boy shes says I'm not going to raise my kid like that. Than tell me she expects more because I'm a women

0points

Shelp 3 years ago

This also works the other way round

-1point

New Prometheus 3 years ago

Girls forcing family members to dress more appropriately?

4points

#19

Taking away things that the child has earned for themselves. If your kid is old enough to work and use that money to purchase something for themselves than it's thiers and you have no right to take it. I don't care if it's a car or a playstation 5.

Same thing with the money itself. Just because your kid is old enough to work and bring home a paycheck doesn't mean you're entitled to that money. I personally had to open up a brand new bank account the day I turned 18 because my mother helped herself to over $700 of my money. When I confronted her she basically told me "[screw] you I'm the adult on the account so it's my money too!"

Lyn1987 Report

Final score:

169points

POST

Agamemnon Padar 3 years ago

Happened in another way to my brother and me too. We inherited from an aunt each 2000 €. Parents never gave even a cent and spent all on debts them had run up. My brother was 15, I was 18.

35points

#20

Forcing your children to give family members that make them uncomfortable, hugs and kisses. Additionally inviting family who actively distress your kid to your house to stay for an extended period and forcing the kid to be nice and interact.

Killjoy905 Report

Final score:

166points

POST

Deborah B 3 years ago

If a kid doesn't want to hugged by someone they should be able to say "No thank you, I don't want to hug." And the adults can deal with their own offence/embarassment/ discomfort/ rejection. The burden of managing the feelings and reactions of adults should not be placed on the shoulders of a socially anxious ten year old.

12points

#21

Giving in when your child is being difficult. It teaches them all they have to do to get what they want is throw a fit. You're encouraging more difficult behavior.

The correct way to handle it is sit in whatever storm they whip up. Stay calm and hold the boundary.

Morvack Report

Final score:

162points

POST

Eslamala 3 years ago (edited)

My son used to throw huge tantrums when he was little. I always did the same thing: looked into his eyes, told him I loved him very much, stand next to him and let him cry. I never caved. I never yelled at him. I just let him have his feelings and when he was done, we'd do whatever it was we were doing. Worked like a charm.

11points

#22

Invalidating their emotions just bc they're children, Cruel jokes ab their physical appareance or behaviour

-m4rgo- Report

Final score:

162points

POST

Vorknkx 3 years ago

The worst thing of this type is probably mocking a kid for being forgetful. It's not like someone deliberately chooses to forget things, it's usually beyond our control. Mockery just makes it worse.

32points

#23

Saying anything along the lines of 'just be happy.' Like thanks, my depression is cured — especially since depression runs in my family on both sides.

MaizieDy Report

Final score:

154points

POST

enby from hell 3 years ago

THIS. Mental illnesses aren't just 'being sad' and 'being happy' isn't some kind of internal switch you can flick. See a therapist who knows what they're doing and take their advice. Also, eat chocolate. It encourages the production of endorphins. Also chocolate.

54points

#24

Gaslighting their children into believing things that are simply not true in order to defend themselves.

talkingtothemoon1 Report

Final score:

152points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

You mean like telling them that people working in the fastfood industry do not deserve to earn a livable wage and they are some sort of lower species that doesn't deserve any respect at all.

67points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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#25

Being overly involved in your childs life. I'm talking about relationships. Your child should have their own relationships without the parent acting like the third wheel, and seeking validation from the friends or partner too. Being involved is a good thing, but when you are so invested in their relationships too it can be damaging to your kid and their future relationships.

butterstickapple Report

Final score:

148points

POST

Martha Meyer 3 years ago

This should be higher.

21points

#26

Letting one sibling bully another and turning a blind eye, with the philosophy that they should work everything out for themselves. Punishing both siblings equally when one is 3 years older, much larger, much stronger, much more verbally sophisticated and adept at manipulation, and when the younger one complains, shutting them up by saying, "Well, did he put a gun to your head?"

That's how you teach a kid to be a victim.

Floomby Report

Final score:

134points

POST

Jo Johannsen 3 years ago

Another side to it: the older sibling by 7 years gets her first record player. 5 year old sister gets exact same record player because "you have to be fair".

56points

should-stop-posting Report

#27

Not necessarily personal experience, but I do think it's absurd how often parents will speak of their own child as "spoiled" for having all kinds of nice possessions like video game systems, cell phones, cars, as if that wasn't entirely the parent's choice. If you don't think your kid should have those things for free, then don't buy them for the kid. Don't shower gifts on your child and then act like the child is a bad person for owning them.

People have this obnoxious reactionary/conservative tendency to speak automatically about kids as if they're brats who don't appreciate the nice things they have. People look at a place full of 13-year-olds with expensive phones in their pockets and act like it's the downfall of society. It's just assumed, based on nothing, that all those 13-year-olds must be ungrateful and entitled and believe they automatically deserve an expensive phone.

Final score:

133points

POST

enby from hell 3 years ago

I feel this. One of my friends has severe depression and at one point she and I were travelling on a bus together. She was crying over her phone because her teacher had given her back an assignment she spent ages on and she'd got a terrible grade. I was comforting her, and this old guy yelled at us 'I don't believe your generation! No one here cares if you broke up with your boyfriend! Quit inflicting your noise on the rest of us!' So I yelled back at him, which only made my friend cry harder. We got off the bus a stop early and walked the rest of the way home.

51points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#28

Listening solely to other parents for advice. My mom listened to my grandmother instead of taking me to a psychiatrist. It wasn’t “a phase” it was autism and OCD. Now I’m in my 20s with trauma from the way my mental health was disregarded and autism leaving me more vulnerable to abuse. I’m left to navigate by myself.

Salamantis198 Report

Final score:

133points

POST

Vorknkx 3 years ago

Downplaying issues and treating them as just a "phase" - oh, what could possibly go wrong?

40points

#29

Threatening to take away things and 50% of the time never actually doing it. Leads kids to live in a state of being unsure of what will happen. Take the thing away or don't.

EarthernPeace Report

Final score:

116points

POST

Aaleyah _ aesthetic 3 years ago

ikr, like when i was a kid and my parents used to do this a lot, I just never thought of it as a punishment anymore because i knew it wouldnt happen.

22points

#30

Having kids before you've gone to therapy to address your own childhood trauma, as this just causes undue trauma on the kids

sargeantsunflower Report

Final score:

98points

POST

Jazzy Mc. Jaz 3 years ago

I have issues with my stepmother and I feel as though I would not pass that down if i had kids knowing this pain that it has caused.

5points

PowerfulCheesecake48 Report

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#31

Lying/making up answers to questions that the adult doesn't think the child should know yet. Personally, I believe if a child asks a question he/she should be given a factual answer. Old enough to wonder about something is old enough to know the truth in my book. If you don't feel comfortable answering the question or don't think you should then say that instead of giving some make believe answer like babies come from storks. I watched a lot of discovery Channel and national geographic as a kid and at one point saw how birds reproduced, but still believed for many years that chickens reproduced by the rooster coming along and sitting on the egg after the hen lays it just because some soccer mom in car pool said that one day when another kid asked.

Final score:

37points

POST

enby from hell 3 years ago

When I found my mum's pads in the bathroom bin when I was little and asked her about it, she gave me a perfectly age-appropriate explanation for periods and I was perfectly happy. No need to make up a ridiculous story or anything. Just be straightforward. Take it from a stranger on the internet with no kids.

23points

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#32

spanking kids

all it does is teach kids to fear you/getting caught instead of them understanding why what they did is bad. i've seen all sorts of studies suggesting it has an effect similar to abuse.

like if a kid isn't old enough to understand reasoning, they also won't understand why you're hitting them. if they're old enough to understand reasoning, just use reasoning instead.

it just seems lazy, and portrays a harmful example of how to resolve conflicts

throwawayfjabfhw Report

Final score:

35points

POST

JDH 3 years ago (edited)

Exactly. I started fabricated more lies that made sense and reason and they believed me. I never got caught. But then I realized that the problem wasn't getting caught, it was me doing the lies. So I talked to my dad about it, and he stopped the spanking and now resorts to leaving me to my own device and intervening when things get hectic.

11points

#33

"I didn't raise you to believe in that/act like that/ etc."

My mom has this deep rooted belief that anything and everything her grown-ass adult children do is STILL a reflection of her parenting. You can tell she really cares about what other parents think of her own parenting. Cares a little too much. This mentality is bad for both the parent and the kids.

Far as I am concerned, once I am an adult, any choices I make or new morals I develop are 100% of my own decision making process. They do not reflect my mother's parenting at all. I wish she'd quit beating herself up when me or any of my siblings reveal we did something or believe something that she didn't teach us when we were children. And I wish she'd stop caring about what other people think of her parenting. Mom, all 4 of your kids graduated high school. 2 graduated college, 3 are married (same 3 have kids), and none of them have ever been arrested or abused drugs. You did good, Mom. Relax and enjoy your growing family.

cabavion92 Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

Oh yes. "My Children Are My Mirror" narcissistic parent syndrome. Ugh. My dad was like that. Ugh.

4points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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#34

Less of a parenting tactic and more of a tactic parents use: contriving a video (featuring their kid) to post to social media. It's super common, and I don't understand how so many people are fooled into thinking they're genuine.

TopScruffy Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Jo Johannsen 3 years ago

Not to mention the risks.

4points

#35

Threatening to leave them somewhere if they don't come with you at once. Either you're not going to follow through on it, at which point they learn to not trust your word, or you *do* leave them, and prove to them that your love is conditional and capricious.

helava Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Aleksandra Rusbasan 3 years ago

I think this is ok, if it's clearly a joke.

5points

#36

The classic "Stop being dramatic!" I was told this a lot. It tought me to bottle up my emotions with the other things my parents said like "No one cares how you feel" or "Get over your self!" Idk if this is me specific but my Mom is HELLA emotionally and mentally abusive and constantly manipulates others in my family to defend her when ever she was being called out for her [stuff]. The only reason I haven't taken a bath with a toaster yet is because of one of my brothers who was also heavily abused by her.

G-moneymann Report

Final score:

26points

POST

John Juan 3 years ago

OP, please seek out someone safe to talk with about your feelings. The mentioning of self-harm is a clear warning sign that you are in need. Your regard for your brother is admirable but please do the work that will help you view yourself as worthy and necessary on your own account. Best of luck to you.

4points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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#37

I find it weird when people brag about how their parents beat them as a child. They view it as a prestigious thing. I guess I’m too “privileged” to understand.

Glad-Piano7900 Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Vorknkx 3 years ago

Spanking apologetics, i.e. "I was spanked and turned out fine." Or did you?

11points

#38

Using the police or the threat there of to controll your child. All that does Is lead to fear of the police and a lack of respect for anyone who can throw you in jail.

walebrush Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Jean Haley 3 years ago

Amen! Scare tactics suck.

2points

#39

Telling your kids that they should be grateful just because they were brought into the world. It wasn't up to the kid, so you shouldn't hold that over their head.

Also spanking, it just makes kids more likely to lie to parents and builds resentment.

liarosegarden Report

Final score:

23points

POST

JDH 3 years ago

Preach, brother/sister !

6points

#40

In my culture, it has sadly become normal to put people down to achieve what they want. My mom even uses it on me while she didn't do that when I was a child (I think). And I'm 27!

Unbreakeable Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Roxy Eastland 3 years ago

I'm not sure what this means. Do you mean putting people down for achieving what they want? Or do you mean trying to make the child achieve what the parent wants?

3points

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What do you think ?

POST

Zebwe 3 years ago

Emphasizing how big of a burden your children are, saying how much work you have to do to provide for them.

28points

JDH 3 years ago

And yet you never asked for this life you have. That was their decision.

10points

Robert Thompson 3 years ago

At the same time, I don't think it is unreasonable to explain to a child that you only get one day off a week and would like to....

1point

Cynthia Souza 3 years ago

My dad once told me that he and my mom would have so much more money if it wasn't for my brothers and me. And they could have done whatever they wanted if they didn't have to take care of us. The irony is, he is now 88 years old and quite dependent on my youngest brother and me.

0points

Penny Fan 3 years ago

Forcing your abusive religion on your children. No child should ever be told they're going to hell. Implying mental health issues are because of "sin". Denying mental health issues even exist and if they do then said child can't possibly have any because they're just naughty and dramatic. religion should be banned anyway.

22points

Conceptual&Colorful 3 years ago

When I was seven years old, I was told that my mother was going to Hell. (My parents have never been together, so I’m raised by both.) I can’t pull any direct quotes, but basically the gist of what they were saying was “you’ll be so happy worshipping the Lord in Heaven that you’ll forget about her.” It was either that, or that “she still has time to change.” I managed to hold it in in front of my Sunday School teacher, but that night I cried. I’ve been atheist since.

6points

Robert Thompson 3 years ago

No true religion is abusive. A religion that is abusive is not of God.

3points

Eslamala 3 years ago

Forcing any religion on a child should be classified as indoctrination and child abuse. It's no different from forcing political beliefs on a kid who's absolutely incapable of understanding its meaning.

2points

Frisbee Luke 3 years ago

Honestly, it's sad to see people claim they believe in God, then don't act the way they say others should. Look up Proverbs 22:6, that explains how we should be doing it for you Christians out there

0points

jtrisn1 3 years ago

"I spent a lot of money raising you, it's a loan and I expect to be paid back" is something I've been told growing up. We're poor, extremely poor because my father abandoned us so my mother wracked up a lot of debt to raise me but she always made sure Inknew exactly how much that debt was and how long it will take her to pay it off without my help. She would always tell me that if she dies before the debt is paid, I will still have to pay it off for her. Any extra pocket money I made as a child, I would hand it all over to her because I felt guilty for existing. I grew up feeling like she would have been happier if I was never born or if I died. At the ripe old age of 16, I started making plans and researching how to kill myself. I would submerge myself into a bathtub full of water and stay under until I started spasming from needing to breathe before surfacing. Luckily I never really went through with any of my attempts but her holding that debt over my head really did a number on my mental health

20points

Hans 3 years ago

I wish you best of luck for getting past this, and to find happyness. Children owe their parents nothing – and I say that as a Father myself. What we can hope for is love – if we as parents loved unconditionally.

15points

Beans 3 years ago (edited)

I'm so sorry you went through that. I also felt like a burden to my parents but for different reasons. Mostly because I didn't live up to expectations. I hope you know now that you aren't a burden and you are worthwhile and your mom was wrong. You deserve to exist. I'm glad you're still here. I hope you're doing better. *internet hugs*

2points

Seabeast 3 years ago

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Hugs if you want them.

1point

Terka Červeňáková 3 years ago

This Is terrible.... I'm about to be mother of two, and So far money aren't an issue for us. But i'm fully aware that this can change any given day, And i would never hold it against my kids... Or even demand them to pay back what i invested in them... It was my And my husband's choice to have them, And they owe me nothing for raising them... I Hope you get better And find a way out of your trauma...

0points

Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago (edited)

This is oddly specific to me, but when dealing with grades and report cards and such, my parents would give me hell for my low math scores,and ignore any high scores I got in other classes( history, biology, science ) because " Your good at those and enjoy the subject, so they don't count." Just because I did well doesn't mean I didn't work for it. My parents tried to punish multiplication tables into me...Turns out I have a difficulty understanding math. All the spankings and groundings that I got for not reciting them on demand would have never helped.

17points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

Not specific to you. I got beat for a B in phys ed but my other marks were straight A. All it taught me was terror of the day my grades were sent to my parents.

5points

Eslamala 3 years ago

Some people should pass a test before breeding. Definitely.

14points

Dave Jones 3 years ago

Teaching a child to identify with a group according to their skin color or their sexual preference rather than their unique values, dreams and loves.

9points

Rens 3 years ago

"My house, my rules", punishing me for being left-handed; being taller (6ft) than an adult at 15; not being allowed to have my bedroom or bathroom door closed as a teenager; punished for things my younger siblings did because I was responsible for their behaviour, or expecting me to "set a good example" because I'm the oldest. My mom never protected me from being abused by my stepfather. Never pick anyone or anything over your kids!

7points

Maddie 3 years ago

Fam this is low key me now just without my step dad abusing me (and I’m a short af 13 yo)

0points

Leigh C. 3 years ago

"Mommy juice" to cope with parenting. Your kids will know sooner than later their mom wasn't sober much of the time because she couldn't handle raising kids without alcohol. Saying "Don't get smart with me." Usually followed with "Smarten up!" Parents, it's okay to allow your kids to teach you something they've figured out.

7points

Ivy la Sangrienta 3 years ago

Yes, this. When my son was born I promised he'd never see me drunk. And he hasn't at almost 17. He's seen his grandparents drunk though. That was fun for all of us.

3points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

Telling your kids to not cry or that crying is srupid or a weakness. If you see your kid crying hug her/him. Dont call them stupid like my parents used to do

6points

Franc Esca 3 years ago

Using s**t/whore all types.of s**t shaming language towards your daughter as if you're taking about the weather. I brought you in ri this world I can take you out nonsense. Any type of narcissism or feelings of grandeur. If you're like this, just don't have kids. Ever.

4points

Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago

To all the comments saying that these points are judge mental and you don't know what it's like...I do know what it's like. I am a parent. Have been for 18 years. No,not a perfect one. No one is perfect. I've made some mistakes and bad calls. But the points in these posts and comments go from bad all the way to physical and mental abuse. Just because that's how you were raised and you " turned out fine" doesn't mean it's ok to treat people like that. What you think is "fine" may be someone else's "mal-adjusted alcoholic with anger issues". But to the point, I am in those shoes, and I've made mistakes, but nothing as bad as a lot of these.

3points

Ambar 3 years ago

there are some things that need fixing in life and parenting, but I see parenting as this "if what you are doing, is the best for your child, doesn't cause mental problems, and helps your child to grow in the world, who is to say that you are a bad parent?" yes, I know my opinion will get downvotes but, sometimes you have to consider the background of some people, sometimes they are raised in a certain way, sometimes they talk advice from people but one thing is for sure, there will be bad advice but the important thing is that you can make your child feels that they are protected and loved. thanks for reading my opinion.

3points

Brenda Jewell 3 years ago

when you hurt or sick and they say your faking it just get attention,

2points

Ivy la Sangrienta 3 years ago

Well, sometimes my son says his feet hurt to get out of soccer practise, but he's just lazy, lol. I usually let it slide.

1point

Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago

I hope I am not the only one that thinks majority of these seems to be written by kids or people without kids. Few are good points but most are absurd.

2points

Lyorai 3 years ago (edited)

Don't tell them you'll give them up for adoption if they don't behave as you want them to, don't lock them into their room just because you're overwhelmed, be able to apologize, don't gaslight to hide your mistakes, don't have kids if you're unable to regulate your own emotions. Just... Don't have kids at all if you're mentally unstable, it'll only hurt them.

2points

Jessica Aubé 3 years ago

Gee thanx Not like my struggles with depression dont already make me feel guilty enough now I’m being told I should never have had kids as I’m just hurting them

-1point

Kay Lee 3 years ago

Parents are just people, they don't automatically gain knowledge and experience from giving birth to kids and raising them. I don't know why some moms like to say "you should have a kid yourself so you know." Well, it seems you don't either! People always make mistakes and parents do too. Also, stop glorifying parents as if they are some kind of heroes. Having a child is completely the person's own decision based on their own wants in most developed countries. I see a lot of adults with kids who can't even take care of their own problems. Ignorance is acceptable only when you are trying to learn to improve. You are responsible for someone's life and health. Take full responsibility until the kid reaches young adulthood, do the job right. If you can't, plan ahead and don't have a kid!

1point

More! 3 years ago

If only we had the energy and patience to all take heed. But eh, we parents are people too and teenagers can push you quite close to the point where the only way to get through seems to be to match their ar$ehole-ology.

1point

Beans 3 years ago

That's a bad attitude to have. I know raising kids is hard and thankless but relegating it to the "it's too hard" basket and not trying to be better is not ok. None of these suggestions cost anything. Most are simple attitude shifts. If you can't refrain from being an ahole to a child with a developing brain then rethink? Yes i get you're human and not perfect and teens are a lot but we owe it to our kids to be better and at least try before getting defensive and shutting these suggestions down.

1point

Rose Oppenlander 2 years ago

When parents don't get their kids evaluated for autism/adhd ect because "its just a label"

0points

Morgan Brown 3 years ago

‘That could have been you’ attacking your children for their choices can be very damaging to their mental health. Your kids should be allowed to make their own choices.

0points

Barbara Baldwin 3 years ago

My favorite overheard in a restaurant ----> behave or I'll call the police and they will put you in jail...

0points

Sav Medrano 3 years ago

Hello there! Sorry in advance for this rant but I do want to talk. I do feel that my parents are manipulative. I feel bad for some resentment I have and I'm not sure if it's valid. Basically, I'll just go through some things that my parents have done. They have been so strict with everything, and grades especially, I'm afraid to come home with so much as a low B. They'll be very judgemental about so many things that I'm afraid to express myself. I came out to them as bisexual, but as I've gotten older I've noticed that they're pretty homophobic, to say the least. When I told my mum she had to (and continues to) ask for confirmation that I "still like boys" and that I'm not a lesbian. As well as talking s**t about NB's and trans people. They always judge people for not being "normal". Just brushing me off whenever I question my mental health state. And recently, going off at me and calling me useless. There's more but I can't recall. I love them, but... Am I just being immature? help!

0points

Kaori Panda 3 years ago

You're not being immature

0points

Bella, Your Kitty-Loving Queen 3 years ago

I hate it when parents said “I raised you and gave you a roof over your head so you should do this for me” like it wasn’t my choice to exist-

0points

Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago

"I got my bottom tanned, too, when I was being unruly. Taught me respect and certainly didn't leave lasting damage". Yes, because finding it okay to be violent to a much smaller being and telling them it'll "hurt me more than you" is totally fine...

0points

Caroline Nagel 3 years ago

Divorced parents who let their new partner move in and expect their kids to like this person. Choosing sex over your children is ugly and selfish.

-2points

natie marie 3 years ago

...i think this thread is kind of toxic. I imagine its harder being a parent than a high pressure job. So much judging.

-2points

Shelby P 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Hedonism Bot 3 years ago

No one is expecting parents to be perfect - just to think about the effect their decisions will have on their child, rather than blindly doing what they feel like.

3points

POST

Zebwe 3 years ago

Emphasizing how big of a burden your children are, saying how much work you have to do to provide for them.

28points

JDH 3 years ago

And yet you never asked for this life you have. That was their decision.

10points

Robert Thompson 3 years ago

At the same time, I don't think it is unreasonable to explain to a child that you only get one day off a week and would like to....

1point

Cynthia Souza 3 years ago

0points

Penny Fan 3 years ago

22points

Conceptual&Colorful 3 years ago

6points

Robert Thompson 3 years ago

No true religion is abusive. A religion that is abusive is not of God.

3points

Eslamala 3 years ago

2points

Frisbee Luke 3 years ago

Honestly, it's sad to see people claim they believe in God, then don't act the way they say others should. Look up Proverbs 22:6, that explains how we should be doing it for you Christians out there

0points

jtrisn1 3 years ago

20points

Hans 3 years ago

15points

Beans 3 years ago (edited)

2points

Seabeast 3 years ago

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Hugs if you want them.

1point

Terka Červeňáková 3 years ago

0points

Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago (edited)

17points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

Not specific to you. I got beat for a B in phys ed but my other marks were straight A. All it taught me was terror of the day my grades were sent to my parents.

5points

Eslamala 3 years ago

Some people should pass a test before breeding. Definitely.

14points

Dave Jones 3 years ago

Teaching a child to identify with a group according to their skin color or their sexual preference rather than their unique values, dreams and loves.

9points

Rens 3 years ago

7points

Maddie 3 years ago

Fam this is low key me now just without my step dad abusing me (and I’m a short af 13 yo)

0points

Leigh C. 3 years ago

7points

Ivy la Sangrienta 3 years ago

Yes, this. When my son was born I promised he'd never see me drunk. And he hasn't at almost 17. He's seen his grandparents drunk though. That was fun for all of us.

3points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

Telling your kids to not cry or that crying is srupid or a weakness. If you see your kid crying hug her/him. Dont call them stupid like my parents used to do

6points

Franc Esca 3 years ago

4points

Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago

3points

Ambar 3 years ago

3points

Brenda Jewell 3 years ago

when you hurt or sick and they say your faking it just get attention,

2points

Ivy la Sangrienta 3 years ago

Well, sometimes my son says his feet hurt to get out of soccer practise, but he's just lazy, lol. I usually let it slide.

1point

Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago

I hope I am not the only one that thinks majority of these seems to be written by kids or people without kids. Few are good points but most are absurd.

2points

Lyorai 3 years ago (edited)

2points

Jessica Aubé 3 years ago

Gee thanx Not like my struggles with depression dont already make me feel guilty enough now I’m being told I should never have had kids as I’m just hurting them

-1point

Kay Lee 3 years ago

1point

More! 3 years ago

1point

Beans 3 years ago

1point

Rose Oppenlander 2 years ago

When parents don't get their kids evaluated for autism/adhd ect because "its just a label"

0points

Morgan Brown 3 years ago

‘That could have been you’ attacking your children for their choices can be very damaging to their mental health. Your kids should be allowed to make their own choices.

0points

Barbara Baldwin 3 years ago

My favorite overheard in a restaurant ----> behave or I'll call the police and they will put you in jail...

0points

Sav Medrano 3 years ago

0points

Kaori Panda 3 years ago

You're not being immature

0points

Bella, Your Kitty-Loving Queen 3 years ago

I hate it when parents said “I raised you and gave you a roof over your head so you should do this for me” like it wasn’t my choice to exist-

0points

Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago

0points

Caroline Nagel 3 years ago

Divorced parents who let their new partner move in and expect their kids to like this person. Choosing sex over your children is ugly and selfish.

-2points

natie marie 3 years ago

...i think this thread is kind of toxic. I imagine its harder being a parent than a high pressure job. So much judging.

-2points

Shelby P 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Hedonism Bot 3 years ago

No one is expecting parents to be perfect - just to think about the effect their decisions will have on their child, rather than blindly doing what they feel like.

3points