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When nothing appears to be going your way and you’ve run out of patience, things can get into your head rather quickly and make you believe that your parenting abilities are subpar. It’s not uncommon to blame yourself for all sorts of things – however, if you catch yourself thinking that, chances are you still have time to improve.

Let’s not forget that most people are doing this whole parenting thing for the very first time, so cutting yourself some slack wouldn’t hurt anyone, but if there are evident signs that include over- or under-involvement, abuse, little to no discipline, or shaming, perhaps it’s time to ring a bell. So, if you want to educate yourself on what not to do when (or if) you decide to have a family, or if you’re simply curious about what others think, this Reddit user has got you covered.

What makes you think, ‘yep, those are sh***y parents?'” – this web user turned to one of Reddit’s most thought-provoking communities, asking its members to reveal signs that indicate that someone’s a bad parent. The thread managed to garner 1.9K upvotes as well as 2K comments discussing different traits and behaviors.

More info: Reddit

#1

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Heard a mother say to her little girl, “Shut up! I hate your voice.”

man-panda-pig , Henry Burrows Report

#2

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group When I hear fathers telling boys to stop crying like a girl. F**k you - men are allowed emotions too you know. I don't think a lot of people realise how damaging that kind of attitude is for the mental health of men in general.

belmakar , Nico Nelson Report

#3

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group When you see their kids in beauty pageants.

Paperjackwriter , UrbanPromise Report

#4

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Parents who don't believe that their children are bullies.

Pilmenji , Ibai Report

#5

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Parents who won't let their sons do anything remotely feminine.

Dingbrain1 , Lars Plougmann Report

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#6

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group I stopped working retail at clothing stores because I couldn’t stand the way parents talk to, especially, young teenage girls. As someone who struggled with mental illness/eating disorders for a long time, there were so many times I wanted to intervene when a parent said their kid looked horrible in something they were really excited to try on.

I got my revenge this summer tho. There was a teenage girl showing her mom these cute overall shorts and begging the mom to let her get them (they were one of the more expensive items in the store) and her mom just kept saying no, you look ridiculous, you look like a toddler, you look like a train conductor, etc. I approached the girl and said they looked good as hell and if it makes her feel good she should get them and wear them always.

I hate when parents don’t realize how severely their negativity can impact their kids.

sensitivity001 , Mike Mozart Report

#7

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group When they don't realize that their kid (no matter how small) is a full person with their own feelings and instincts and journeys in life and just dismiss anything about their kids that they don't understand or want to be true

morebunniespls , Rishabh Mathur Report

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#8

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Infanilising children. Kids are not stupid. They know what's up. Also parents who rule by fear, you can see it when the kids flinch too easy

anon , ~Pawsitive~Candie_N Report

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Lakota Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was raised by a mother who abused both my dad and me - physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally. I'm adopted and she basically only adopted me to be a sibling to my parents' bio child. When I didn't turn out to be a "perfect little girl" (around age 5), the beatings started. She even used knives on my dad and I occasionally. She even threatened me with a gun once when I was 7. I'm 40 now and I still go into "shutdown" mode whenever anyone yells at me (or around me). My mom is 79 and my sister tells me I'll "regret" not spending time with her once she's dead. Yeah, nope. My sister never even got hit or screamed at. She's the golden (biological) child.

funkybluegirl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh. I am so sorry you went through that. The important thing is that you did get through it. You are a survivor and I am proud of you. Of course you still go into shutdown mode, at times. That's what PTSD does. I wish you the best.

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Lisa H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I still "shrink" when someone yells at me. I can't stand it.

Bluetoyou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Retired Elementary teacher here. I had students who would start shaking when they got in trouble. I talked to them quietly at my desk and ask what they thought was going to happen? I said I have this copy of the class rules. I check what you did wrong and it goes in your folder home for your parents to sign. That's it. You are a kid. You are going to make mistakes. It happens. I asked them what the parents did when they see a note in their folder. They would tell me they got a beating. All pale and shaking still. I told them I don't beat kids. Why don't you get lunch detention instead? So they sat on the detention table at lunch instead of the note going home. And I let them know I couldn't remember out of 700 kids who got notes that week. I just asked them to remember not to do whatever got them in trouble. And I let the principal know. If it is warranted they are asked to take a parenting class the school offers.

Mary Jeffries
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Letting kids control as much as they can in an age appropriate way is wonderful. I’d ask my kids to get out their own cups/plates so they’d have the one they wanted. They chose their clothes. If they have a problem I’ll ask them what do they think will help. Having power over their own selves is so helpful in their positive self regard and in their ability to know themselves. It’s also easier. Kids are far more capable than people give them credit for.

SunshineBurrito
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my dad used to rule by fear. he’s better about it and I’m sorry if this seems rude but I might cut contact with him once I’m done with school and will most likely never forgive him. It is not forgiveable for him to traumatize me in my opinion

Mike Alix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can relate very well. I cut off contact with my family for years. They don't seem to mind.... Now, I decide, not them, when or if I make contact.

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B-b-bird
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some parents think that they can say and do in front of kids whatever they want till certain age, because “they don’t understand, and won’t even remember”. Nope uncle Cris, I remember you taking that 100 bucks on the table when I was 4.

Lane Bass
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Ana white
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I flinch from every loud sound, every time someone hands me something, I'm worried they'll hit me

crowspectre (he/they)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This! I'm a young teen and I'm actually very capable for my age, but when adults start talking to me like I'm a small child it pisses me off so much. Like dude I might be a third of your age but I do know what I'm saying. I may not have a fully developed brain but the parts that are there work pretty damn well

Tunk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes both of these. Kids are not stupid and should be spoken to like people.

axle f
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

not realizing that if you have memories that go back to 30-36 months....even spotty ones? those kids you're interacting with right now? will too. they're *already* more than just kids...they're people.

Stardust she/her
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just cry when something is about to go wrong or when anyone scolds me. I know I probably do need help but it’s just not accesible at the moment

BlueCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, nah, kids don't 'know what's up', that's why we have to teach them not to do things like run into the street. This sounds like one if those 'free range kids' parents who have no clue where their kids are the majority of the time and think that actually watching your kids is 'helicopter parenting'.

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#9

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group I was having lunch in McDonald's one time and heard a mother scold her very obese 4 year old to "finish his mayonnaise".

All judgement aside, I was eating there to. But maybe don't force a kid to eat mayonnaise.

rcowie , Mike Mozart Report

#10

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Parents who dismiss their child's emotions

Aphrodite70 , Pixabay Report

#11

If your kid is dirty. And I don't just mean juice on their face or some grass stains on their clothes. I mean when the child has obviously not been bathed in days/weeks.

Also, if a child has bad manners and the parents do nothing to correct them. You are raising rude and inconsiderate people.

lostmysoultothedevil Report

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#12

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Your child's school has a costume day with the theme "dress as your favourite character from your favourite book". The other kids come as Winne the Pooh and Harry Potter and Anne of Green Gables.

Not your kid.

Your kid comes as Mr Grey from Fifty Shades of Grey.

You ARE a s****y parent.

SuzyJTH , Mike Mozart Report

#13

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group child is sweet smart and extremely hard working but has ADHD. The child does her best in school but does not do well because she just does not learn the way they teach. She is constantly grounded while siblings who get similar grades but have no learning disability are not. This girl is reading constantly and is great in English and history, basically rewrites her siblings english papers. But because she struggles in Maths and sciences she is seen as good as her siblings. This child is constantly put down and her dreams discouraged because she's not "good" enough in school to succeed.

_Beachbum_life , Allison Meier Report

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#14

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group I used to work in a discount variety store. This unwashed, often barefoot woman would often come in with her kids. I thought she was nice enough, until one day her daughter innocently asks if she can buy a lolly, and the mum went OFF. Screamed at this 7 year old kid about how they can't afford it, and I'm not lying, she called her child a c**t. Screamed the word. In public. Her kids were always so well mannered, but they were usually dirty. I felt so bad for them.

mftittysprinkles , AdmlCrunch Report

#15

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Went to a farm/corn maze last week and got to witness a man yelling at his ~5 or so year old child for crying. He made him sit in the corner of this barn and kept screaming "JUST STOP CRYING" every 2 minutes. He eventually got up with him, dragged him by his arm and screamed and sweared in his face less than an inch away. I don't know what this kid did or why he was so mad but f**k dude, yelling in their face like that especially in public is just disgusting

heimdaall , samer daboul Report

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#16

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group When I hear them talk to elementary age kids like adults...

“Oh you have it tough!? Well f**k. I worked a s****y day and had to come home to you!”

My neighbors

dedredcopper , SmartSign Report

#17

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group About eight years ago I worked at a summer camp and had a nine year old girl in my group, she was tall for her age and skinny like a lot of 9 year old girls, really pretty girl. But she would stop herself from doing normal things like eating s'mores and say things alluding to the fact that at home her mother calls her fat (she's no where near it) and restricts her diet.

It broke my heart. She hadn't even hit puberty and was a charming girl and she was being bullied by her own mother. I spent my week coming up with an outline of things to report to CPS. Not that they could really take her away, but a paper trail is worth it if things ever got worse for the girl.

I really hope that girl has turned out alright. She didn't deserve that.

squiderror , woodleywonderworks Report

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#18

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group When they passively tell their kids "no" but don't actually do anything to stop it when the kid misbehaves. One of my neighbor's kids is like this, and I hate having her over because her mother just lets her wreak havoc.

flooferdoofer , SHVETS production Report

#19

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Parents who bring little kids to R rated or inappropriate movies. It's s****y on multiple levels.

creepysnowflake , Amy Ross Report

#20

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Seeing fizzy drinks in baby's or toddler's bottles makes my teeth itch. They don't need the sugar or the caffeine, or simply that much non milk fluid

Edit: there's a few comments asking what kind of drinks I mean. The incident that inspired this was an 8 monthish old with a cola type drink, ie high acid and high sugar, plus caffeine. Carbonated water is different but may have a weird pH so it's worth checking the label imho. Plus heavily gassed liquids are not ideal on anyone's stomach.

wotsname123 , Ivan Radic Report

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#21

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Your little badass kids acting up isn't cute, don't encourage the s**t.

radpandaparty , Nicola Barts Report

#22

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Today I took my son out to The Science Cube. A little 2 year old fell over right in front of me. His mom said, “that’s what happens to bad kids”. I wanted to strangle her, but I just glared at her as she walked away.

CatchingRays , Barney Moss Report

#23

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Yesterday in the grocery store I was standing in the checkout line behind a man with 2 kids — looked like a 5 and 7 year old.

The kids were being goofballs, but not being wild by any means. The dad wasn’t giving them any instructions, except for over and over again leaning down in their faces and yelling, “Shut! Up!”

Every time he did, his little girl looked up at him with these sad puppy dog eyes. Broke my heart.

beardmeblazer , Battle Creek CVB Report

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#24

Kids that don't respect service workers.

I work in a pub with a play area, the amount of times I've had to discipline children who are climbing on-top of the play equipment or children being voilent. The kids that talk back to me challenging the instructions I give them s**t me up the wall because you can just tell they are the kids that are spoilt to hell and they can do no wrong.

One time I had 3 different complaints about this pack of 13 year old boys in the play area, (breaking the 10 year old limit) because they where being voilent. I went in and gave them a warning, then later received a 4th complaint from a different table. I went in and tried to kick all the voilent children out but the mother came in and gave me the whole "You dare raise your voice at my children" and "you can't tell me how to raise my children". I informed her of the complaints I had received and her responce was "they are only making their cousins cry so it doesn't matter." I was flawed by her logic.

anon Report

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#25

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group When the kid smells like cigs. I understand you smoke but have enough decency to make sure your kids clothes don’t reek

JoLabs , Joe Haupt Report

#26

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Kids running around wild in public.

My friends and I actually act as spotters for each other during cardio workouts now, in the sense of “spot and stop the m**on kid who thinks it’d be fun to try and run between your friend’s legs in mid-workout while their parents watch and do nothing”.

The dumbass apple doesn’t fall far from the dumbass tree.

PoochyEXE , Jonathan Brodsky Report

#27

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group I rented the a basement bedroom from a woman who would scream at her kids “stop touching me!” When they would try to be affectionate with her. Good times.

forgotmyloginx2017 , Taryn Elliott Report

#28

I was driving yesterday and this guy had a big car full of kids without seatbelts, this was on a motorway also not just some backroad

anon Report

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#29

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group When they sound like a child or preteen themselves telling their kids what to do. Example: "Oh my God, shut uppppppuhhhh"

anon , Taryn Elliott Report

#30

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Parents getting their road rage on while their kids are in the car

the_badgers_of_death , storebukkebruse Report

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#31

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Yelling at their kids when they misbehave/cry, usually to switch back to their smartphone immediately after

softblackstar , Waterford_Man Report

#32

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group When the kids treat the parents like s**t. That's usually a sign that the parents suck at the whole parenting part

Rubychest , Nathan Report

#33

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Obese children

stiltzkin_the_moogle , Magnus D Report

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#34

I've seen parents give their five to seven year olds beer. Wtf

thealrightdude Report

#35

“Yep, Those Are Bad Parents”: 30 Signs Of Bad Parenting, According To Members Of This Online Group Not paying attention to your kids and telling them their feelings and emotions are irrelevant because they're children. If you wanted somebody to boss around, hire a maid. F**k off

anon , Nenad Stojkovic Report