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People Are Sharing Parenting Trends They Disagree With And Here Are 30 Of The Most Hated Ones
The practices and norms around raising kids change over time, with each generation of parents redefining the classic role. These shifts take place due to a number of factors, including new research, technologies, or the desire to "do it differently than our old folks did." But that doesn't mean that all of them are automatically better than the older ways.
So when Reddit user The_WhiteMantis asked everyone on the platform to share the parenting trends that they wholeheartedly disagree with, people immediately started sharing their opinions. From making your children the butt of your jokes to never telling them "no," below you will find the submissions that received the most attention.
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#2
The trend of oversharing kids' lives on social media. It's like turning your child's childhood into a reality TV show.
We contacted The_WhiteMantis, and the Redditor explained that they came up with the idea for their post thanks to the radio.
"The question popped into my head after I heard a conversation on the radio about the usage of phones by minors," The_WhiteMantis told Bored Panda.
"I did not have time to read all the comments due to the huge size of the discussion, however, I did notice some recurring themes: 1) providing devices to minors, 2) parents living vicariously through their children, and 3) being overprotective of them."
#3
Never saying no to your child.
shanila.pheonix_ 7 months ago
they have to know that they can't get everything. adulthood is gonna hit them hard
#4
I’ve seen a small yet growing trend of homeschooled kids where the parents are completely neglectful of actual education and basically let the kid do whatever they want. They don’t follow standardised curriculum for the sake of “letting kids be kids.” If your kid can barely read at 10 years old, you’re setting them up to fail as an adult.
#5
I hate when people dress up their baby girls in outfits a woman should be wearing. Like there are little girls outfits that are adorable and meant for a little girl. But no little girl should be wearing a body suit and ripped jeans or a crop top and low rise bellbottoms, it gives me the creeps.
Happy to be a wallflower 7 months ago
It's so weird to me, because you KNOW those clothes are super expensive and the kids are going to grow out of it in a month or so
Moms and dads often do not follow a specific parenting style. In the United States, for instance, a nationally representative survey of parents with children younger than 18 conducted by the Pew Research Center revealed that when asked about their parenting habits, including whether they tend to be too strict or too lenient, excessively praise or criticize their children, be overprotective or grant too much freedom, and push their children too hard or not enough, a considerable percentage of respondents ranging from 34% to 53% reported that neither option accurately describes their parenting style.
Additionally, almost the same number of parents are either trying to raise their children in a similar way as they were raised (43%) or differently (44%).
#6
Not teaching children proper manners/behavior
Please and thank you go a long a*s way in this life.
Also not helping kids with conversation skills. Conversation usually goes back and forth. With no phones involved.
#7
Do gender reveals count? Lighting things on fire, blowing things up and potentially injuring a family member all in an display of obsession over the genitals of your fetus is cringy at best and a small scale natural disaster at worst.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
I'm always willing for a gender to be revealed. But instead, it's always those same two genders that everyone already knows about!
#8
Making your child's entire identity revolve around their extracurricular activities. Let them be kids, not robotic machines for your bragging rights.
troufaki13 7 months ago
Also don't force your unfinished dreams on your kids. They are separate individuals not your extension.
#9
I guess this is kinda specific, but my son is autistic, so it applies to me. I hate the “Autism Mom” thing. The t-shirts, the unsolicited “advocacy”…it seems like an attention seeking thing to me. My kid has autism, ADHD, and anxiety, and it takes approximately 5 seconds of being around him to notice. I will fight for him always, of course, but I won’t use him as a badge either. I won’t hide his diagnosis from him, but I won’t let him use it as an excuse either.
And some of those shirts get borderline threatening too…”If you want to know fear, fight an autism mama bear”…or something like that.
Talking about the main factors that make parenting trends popular (regardless of their effectiveness), the author of the post believes the internet is arguably the main culprit.
"I think most parents get their ideas on how to raise kids from social media. It seems like a significant proportion of the user base on various platforms is over the age of 30, so it makes sense," The_WhiteMantis said.
#10
Pranking your kids or playing jokes on them. Not all kids understand it’s a joke and it really upsets them. I hate seeing videos of parents thinking it’s ok to throw things at their kids or make them do dumb stuff for amusement. Like the cheese challenge thing. Throwing food at babies….awful behavior.
#11
Not exactly a trend but: having like 5+ kids and forcing the older ones to basically raise the little ones. i know that sometimes the parents are not well informed about contraception, but it’s still not the kids’ problem! it’s one thing to have them help once in a while, but anything that stops them from living their own lives to raise YOUR kids is just ridiculous.
for example: not being able to take an extracurricular activity because they have to be home watching their siblings.
#12
Confusing gentle parenting with permissive parenting.
You can be both gentle and authoritative. Authoritative is *not* authoritarian; it is the role of a parent to provide structure and boundaries for their children while also allowing them to feel their emotions and deal with the ups and downs of being a kid. Go ahead and soothe your children when they are upset and give them a safe space to calm down but you do not have to cushion their world for them in order to avert a meltdown.
According to C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children's Health, most parents of young children (80%) indeed say they use social media to discuss parenting topics.
Looking deeper, more mothers than fathers use social media to look for parenting advice or information (84% vs 69%) or share their experiences (63% vs 42%).
#13
Never telling your kid no. You’re creating a monster that is going to ruin your life some day. Boundaries and consequences are essential to any kid- well human even- being successful in the world we live in.
Tabitha 7 months ago (edited)
Not just your life, but the lives of everyone else they will ever come into contact with. It will not be pretty when their future boss tells your now grown kid no they cannot do some harebrained c**p idea they come up with, and they proceed to throw a full red in the face meltdown tantrum because of it. Boss will just fire their a*s on the spot. You want to end up supporting your kid for the rest of your lives after they burn through every job they ever got with their spoiled brat behavior? Fine. Then never tell them no. But if you ever want to have your kid be a gainfully employed, self-supporting adult, then tell them no when you don't want them to do, say, have, take, touch, eat, drink, walk over---you name it---something that will end up hurting them, you, and anyone or anything else. Teach them how to live in the real world. That's your job as a parent.
#14
“Gentle parenting” b***h hold your kid at the doctor if they need a test done. “I don’t think she wants to do this test/use this medicine” B***H SHE NEEDS IT. (I work in a doctors office).
#15
Loud cartoons and games on tablets in public places.
Epona 7 months ago
Same with toys. Why kids toys “need” to be loud is beyond me. Why do they have three volume settings but they’re all too dang loud? The Leapfrog reader books are a good example. It’s a wonder parents of toddlers and young children don’t have hearing damage from how loud their kid are and how loud their kids toys are.
Experts aren't surprised.
"I think this data reflects what we've seen over the past few years," said Titania Jordan, the chief parenting officer of Bark, a parental control app that allows parents to manage their kids’ digital worlds.
"Parents are reaching out more and more for advice on social media for three main reasons: Convenience, new technology, and different ways of parenting."
#16
Giving your child an iPad as soon as they can hold it.
James016 7 months ago
Depends on what you let them do with it. For example a few years ago we put a piano app on my son's iPad and now he is starting to prep for his grade 1 exams. But just unfiltered access to everything is bad. It can be a great educational tool
Rachel Pelz 7 months ago
Sounds as though he was not a toddler anymore when he used the piano app.
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Tamra 7 months ago
Under the right circumstances, it's no different from giving your child a book. My son had a tablet at a young age, but it was used for playing math games, spelling puzzles, etc., and it was monitored by me, with time limits. Technology is a tool that can be incredibly helpful or destructive, depending upon usage.
Phoenix🇬🇧 7 months ago
Recently a teacher, talking on Radio 4, was telling how many young children start going to his school with an American accent. This is the UK. He said the parents had their mobile phones and the kids were constantly on an ipad. I don't know what is more sad. That or the fact that many children weren't potty trained before starting school. Parent were dropping of their child insisting it was the teachers job to teach them to use the toilet. The teacher said every time a nappy needed changed two teachers had to be present and that disrupted the classes a lot.
James016 7 months ago
I saw something on the BBC about how there are more and more children entering school that are not toilet trained. It's our responsibility as parents to teach them to use the toilet. Yes it is messy, frustrating etc but once it is done, it is done. There is a case for getting social services involved. It wont end at not toilet training.
Load More Replies... Teachzebra 7 months ago
Nothing drives me more crazy than seeing kids instantly given a screen the moment they sit down at a restaurant. These are the same parents that usually complain later that their kids have short attention spans!!
Silly Panda Cat 7 months ago
I had to wait until I was twelve to get my first phone and be trusted to take it to school. Then I saw people around 5 or 6 with phones
KillerKiwi 7 months ago
I was in 6th grade when I got my first phone but I shared it with my siblings and it didn’t leave the house at all. Freshmen year was the first time that I was allowed to take it to school, but my mom wanted it turned off and in my backpack. Obviously, that did not happen. I was on that thing all the time and I would just delete the texts if I messaged someone at school 😂
Load More Replies... Happy to be a wallflower 7 months ago
Limited use can be a good education tool for littler kids (for example, those math games that help you memorize multiplication tables), but it shouldn't be used only for entertainment for a long time
Brandon Parisien 7 months ago
Found an iPad on the side of the road a year back; apparently the couple's child chucked it out the window watching a video on the ABCs. I was able to e-mail the owners and return it to them :)
#17
Parents not having even minimal standards for their children’s behavior, and expecting other people to be alright with it. I really don’t care that he is having “big feelings.” He is lying in the aisle of the supermarket, screaming at the top of his lungs, having a full blown tantrum because you said no. Grow a pair.
Marianne 7 months ago
While I do agree with the sentiment, this is not a good example. The child is screaming, because their parent is setting up standards. Standards like "I won't buy you anthing you fancy". And toddlers can't deal with those kind of emotions in a different way. They only learn it through experience. And what exactly are you supposed to do with a child to immediately stop a tantrum (if you don't want to cave in every time)?
#18
Giving them "unique" names.
#19
Driving your kids 200m to school.
Ban-One 7 months ago (edited)
Yes right, for safety reasons. And then driving like crazy and endangering other kids on the school ground...Where I work as a teacher this becomes more and more of a problem. Kids aged 13-16 with only short commutes, lots of bike lanes and great public transport. Wouldn't be necessary. I do understand it depends on the schools location and country. But here this just isn't necessary...and driving together with bikes or tag along in the bus would be good from a social aspect as well...
However, Jordan has concerns. "It’s not all roses. There is a ton of misinformation out there, and just because another parent is talking about something, it doesn’t mean they’re knowledgeable."
And this thread proves it.
#20
I’m gonna go in a little bit of a different direction: parents not watching their own behavior when it comes to screen time, frustration tolerance, discipline, etc.
You’ve got to dig deep and figure out how to role model the behaviors you want your kids to do. If you are on your phone 24/7 and throw a fit every time the slightest thing inconveniences you you aren’t gonna have a good time with your kids doing anything different.
#21
I disagree with ALL trends. Parenting is not supposed to be trendy. Figure out what works for you and your family and do that, but don’t expect everyone else to do the same.
#22
Taking your kids to a restaurant and putting screens in their hands. How are kids going to learn how to behave in polite society if you don’t train them how to behave in social situations?
#23
The lack of discipline and manners taught to the kids. I get soft parenting, I'm on board with no hitting and all of the abuse but kids still need to learn boundaries about what they could and couldn't do.
Katrina Nixon 7 months ago
Went to a friend's plc and her 4 yr old starts screaming at me, freaking tf out, I'm like what's going on? My friend says " she wants your scarf. She won't stop screaming until you give it to her." Sorry..what??
#24
Being overweight and allowing your children to follow the same path of obesity.
(Yes I get sometimes it's genetics, but genetics is not why appx 1/3 of Americans are obese and why the rest of the world isnt).
#25
The sad beige mom trend. If you want to make the rest of your home sad and beige, that's up to you. But my God! Please let your child's nursery have some colour for their own development and well-being.
#26
Child vlogging, its a bit weird tbh and I feel like things are gonna go to s**t for the parents when the kids become adults.
#27
Weird orthorexic parents who make their entire personality their kids' hundreds of allergies . Gluten free, dairy free, nut free , meat free . EVERYTHING FREE! I’m sorry, I do not believe them .
Eastendbird 7 months ago
I have celiac disease, I cannot understand why anyone would go gluten-free if they didn't have to. I miss nice bread so much!
#28
Lawnmower parenting. Not only do they hover over their kids, they mow down anyone who does something they don't like. They're the "you can't wear that shirt where my kids might see it" and "you'd better allow my child into this 21+ establishment but not show them anything inappropriate" type.
Do-nut touch da donut 7 months ago (edited)
Lawnmower? Thats new! Makes a lot of sense sadly :/ poor kids
#29
Those “boy moms” that are grossly obsessed with their baby or toddler boys. Ew, f**k out of here with that emotional incest s**t.
#30
Not (sensibly) challenging their comfort zone. How are they supposed to grow self-confidence when they're never challenged?
What do you think ?
Key Lime 7 months ago
Late toilet training is my pet peeve. Kids going to preschool in diapers.
Bec 7 months ago
My cousin just did not seem to care about it, I think they just straight up told him he couldn't go to kindergarten w/ a pull-up, and he was like 'ok'. They bought him a toy for no more accidents and that was it.
Load More Replies...
The Doom Song 7 months ago
Constantly yelling at your kids. My s****y neighbour screams at her kids all the time, tells them all sorts of horrible things. Recently tho I heard the 14 year old scream at his mum "your a f*****g horrible mother" I was actually kinda proud of him
Jon Steensen 7 months ago
Religion: It is like a d!ck. It is ok to have one and it is ok to be proud of it. But don't air it in public, and don't force it onto children. I get it, you may have been brainwashed into believing in fairytales as a grown up, but please don't pass that on to the next generation. Teaching children good values and how to behave properly, can be done without threatening them with torture, or adding some kind of Devine authority into the mix. Religion does not have the patent when it comes to knowing how to behave, it has just highjacked some good ideas that is helpful when it comes to how to act around people (this is evident from the fact that some of the worst a$$holes can be "faithfull" Christians, and that there are good people amoung the atheists too). Let your children make up their own minds when it comes to how they see the world, instead of installing your own default software in them and letting the virus spread.
C. S. 7 months ago
"...instead of installing your own default software in them and letting the virus spread." LOL! 🤣 I was initially raised Catholic, but saw some of the contradictions as a young child. This led my mother to question some of her religion's practices. Neither of us feels there's any good reason to be 'instructed' by other people in their viewpoints of a so-called faith, which is exactly what it's been for millennia. My now-wife respects this and accepts it, and I merely try to be a good contributor to society without the shaming and ostracizing that 'organized' religion keeps trying to force upon all of humankind in the name of their 'god' or 'belief' systems. Religion is ultimately a poison used to shame and coerce others, typically to hateful and divisive ends. The many documented versions of the Bible are an excellent example of how imperfect and bias-driven so-called organized religion ultimately is.
Load More Replies...
Strawberry Pizza 7 months ago
This is so weird, I wrote about this under the above post about wholesome news, I keep getting a glitch on listicles lately. The first item always reads (Function) and the rest of them cut off after 10ish words. Anyone else having this?? Tech pandas, any advice?
Montanavanna 7 months ago
I don't remember what exactly the doctors wanted to medicate him for. I think it was more for issues related to his condition, not the aspergers itself.
Key Lime 7 months ago
Late toilet training is my pet peeve. Kids going to preschool in diapers.
Bec 7 months ago
My cousin just did not seem to care about it, I think they just straight up told him he couldn't go to kindergarten w/ a pull-up, and he was like 'ok'. They bought him a toy for no more accidents and that was it.
Load More Replies... The Doom Song 7 months ago
Constantly yelling at your kids. My s****y neighbour screams at her kids all the time, tells them all sorts of horrible things. Recently tho I heard the 14 year old scream at his mum "your a f*****g horrible mother" I was actually kinda proud of him
Jon Steensen 7 months ago
Religion: It is like a d!ck. It is ok to have one and it is ok to be proud of it. But don't air it in public, and don't force it onto children. I get it, you may have been brainwashed into believing in fairytales as a grown up, but please don't pass that on to the next generation. Teaching children good values and how to behave properly, can be done without threatening them with torture, or adding some kind of Devine authority into the mix. Religion does not have the patent when it comes to knowing how to behave, it has just highjacked some good ideas that is helpful when it comes to how to act around people (this is evident from the fact that some of the worst a$$holes can be "faithfull" Christians, and that there are good people amoung the atheists too). Let your children make up their own minds when it comes to how they see the world, instead of installing your own default software in them and letting the virus spread.
C. S. 7 months ago
"...instead of installing your own default software in them and letting the virus spread." LOL! 🤣 I was initially raised Catholic, but saw some of the contradictions as a young child. This led my mother to question some of her religion's practices. Neither of us feels there's any good reason to be 'instructed' by other people in their viewpoints of a so-called faith, which is exactly what it's been for millennia. My now-wife respects this and accepts it, and I merely try to be a good contributor to society without the shaming and ostracizing that 'organized' religion keeps trying to force upon all of humankind in the name of their 'god' or 'belief' systems. Religion is ultimately a poison used to shame and coerce others, typically to hateful and divisive ends. The many documented versions of the Bible are an excellent example of how imperfect and bias-driven so-called organized religion ultimately is.
Load More Replies... Strawberry Pizza 7 months ago
This is so weird, I wrote about this under the above post about wholesome news, I keep getting a glitch on listicles lately. The first item always reads (Function) and the rest of them cut off after 10ish words. Anyone else having this?? Tech pandas, any advice?
Montanavanna 7 months ago
I don't remember what exactly the doctors wanted to medicate him for. I think it was more for issues related to his condition, not the aspergers itself.
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