It’s only human that things sometimes fall out of our hands. It feels like the world is against you for some unreasonable reason and to call it irritating would be a hefty understatement. But if we can’t change a bad day, we can always change the way we look at it. And here we’re going to need some help from a professional. So to find out more about resilience and the power of positivity, we spoke with Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches people how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.

The first step towards building mental resilience is instead of viewing these unfortunate moments as "failures" or "misfortunes," view them as learning opportunities, Susan argues. She urges us to think of a couple of things: “What can we learn from this? How can we use this to become a better human being/worker/parent/partner?” and added that crucially, it's a matter of mindset.

It turns out that some people are more naturally resilient than others. “But it's because they learned to think positively at a young age,” Susan said. “Our attitude towards life - the good, the bad, and the ugly - is formed before we go to kindergarten. Positivity isn't about putting your head in the sand and singing 'lalalala' when bad things happen; it's actually just the knowledge that we'll be OK no matter what,” the life coach explained.

According to Susan, positivity and resilience are very closely related. “Positivity is the understanding and belief that you'll be able to bounce back from anything; resilience is when you actually do it.”If your day is going against the plan and you feel like you could blow up anytime, Susan shared some very useful insights on how to put yourself together and get back on track.

“I teach my clients to use The Power Questions. It's a great way to interrupt the spiral of emotions when everything is hitting the fan!” They are as follows:

“How important is this, really? Don't make mountains out of molehills.

What is something positive and constructive I can do about this? Be solution-oriented instead of blame-oriented.

What emotions am I feeling right now? By identifying and labeling them, we shrink their power over us."

Susan continued: "What would the person I want to be do right now? What would your hero do? How do you wish you could behave? Well, do that!

How do I want to feel at the end of the day? Do you want to be embarrassed that you lost your sh*t, or proud that you did the best you could in a tough situation?

How does this help me with my goal? What IS your goal right now, anyway? Revenge? To make someone feel bad? Or to solve a problem? Make sure your intention is positive, and do whatever moves you toward that.”

Susan also reminds us to always ask ourselves what lessons we can learn from this. “Sometimes it might only be that you're a Battle-Tested Warrior and managed to survive, but there is always something. Search for those positives. Focus on those,” she concluded.