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What is a backhanded compliment exactly? Ever heard those weird compliments where it sounds like the person said something nice about you, but for some reason, you actually feel insulted? Yeah, that would be it. 

A backhanded compliment is that weird interaction when somebody gives a nice comment about your appearance or achievement, or anything else about you — for example, “I really like your hair color!” — but then adds something that implies that up until this moment, this feature of yours was really not up to standard, something along the lines of “It is so much better than the color you had before!” How does that sound? Exactly. Like until now, you were walking around with really ugly hair. Not much of a compliment, is it?

There are two main reasons why people might give you backhanded compliments. One is they don’t know any better. They genuinely want to praise you, and to show you how much they appreciate your new look or achievement, they compare it to a time when — in their opinion — it wasn’t as good. If that’s the case, just accept the compliment and ignore the rest.

On the other hand, there are instances where people actually want to be mean to you but, for whatever reason, can’t do it directly, so they resort to insulting compliments. For moments like this, you need to be ready and know how to respond to insults. In my opinion, there is no need to get angry and annoyed; instead, a returned funny compliment with a double meaning will do the trick. 

For this article, we have collected some backhanded compliment examples. What was the most ridiculous one you have ever received and how did you respond to it?  

#1

"I Wish I Was As Smart As You Think You Are"

Teacher Pointing To Something Written On Board

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PANic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I could think of quite a few people to say that to . . .

#2

"I Hope The Rest Of Your Day Is As Pleasant As You Are!"

Man Shaking Hands Outside

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#3

"You Look Amazing For Your Age"

Old Woman With Hat Looking Somewhere

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Emi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, I feel like I use this one often absent-mindedly when I'm trna be nice :')

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#5

"You [Do Activity Well], For A Woman"

Many People Running A Marathon On Rocky Road

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Amanda Cruz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A coworker of mine said "you whisle well for a women" I simple replied "you complement really well for a man"

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#10

"I Wish I Could Find A Guy Like You"

Man Sitting On The Bench And Grieving

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Screen_Addict
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah. Rejection in the form of a compliment. +100 sting If you are a woman

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#11

“You Have Nice Handwriting, For A Man”

Person Writing Something In The Notepad

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#12

"I Know How Beautiful You Can Be With Make Up On"

Woman Doing Her Makeup On Her

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#13

"I Didn’t Expect You To Get The Job - Congratulations!"

Two Woman Celebrating Something

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Iconic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These are supposed to be backhanded comments but if someone said this to me I would backhand them.....

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#15

"You Look Great. Have You Lost Weight?"

Couple Arguing With A Waitress

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Hey!
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband's grandmother either told me I had gained weight or lost some. It was neither but she wouldn't believe me. That got old fast.

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#16

"I Always Feel More Intelligent After Reading Your Work"

Woman Reading A Letter

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PANic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was about to ask how that was backhanded, but then I realized why it was.

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#17

"That’s A Beautiful Photo Of You. I Didn’t Recognize You At First"

Woman Holding A Lot Of Polaroid Pictures

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#18

"I Wish I Was As Relaxed As You Are About Messiness"

Messy Work Room With A Computer And Many Files

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#19

"You're So Independent — It's No Wonder You Haven't Found Anyone Yet"

Woman Scrolling On Phone While Drinking Wine

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#20

"I Bet You Were In Great Shape When You Were Younger"

Surfers On The Ocean Waiting For Waves

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#23

"I Think It's​ Really Cool That You Don't Wear Makeup. I Could Never Be That Brave!"

Make Up Done On A Woman

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#24

"You're Amazing For Going Back To Work. I Could Never Let A Stranger Watch My Kids!"

Mom And Daughters Playing Games And Talking

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Hey!
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not a backhanded compliment; it's accusing you of abandoning your child (children).

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#25

"You're So Pretty For A [Insert Minority Here]!"

Woman In The Wheelchair Drinking Coffee

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LittlePiggie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I received this "compliment," and the person(s) wondered why I stayed away. 🙄

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#26

"How Is The View From The Top Of The Bell Curve?"

Tall Forrest Trees And Fog

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Pascale Pierloot
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doctor, I have been feeling a little too smart these past few days. 🤮

#27

"You're Perfect For Me, Just Not Perfect For Me Right Now"

Man Talking On Phone And Drinking Coffee

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#30

"Your Haircut Makes Your Nose Look Smaller"

Man Thinking Really Hard

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#32

"Your Instagram Makes You Seem So Fun!"

Woman Scrolling On Photo Gallery

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#33

"Those Earrings Are So Nice. My Grandma Would Love Them"

Pretty Woman Modelling

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#35

"You Clean Up So Well!"

Woman Putting Oil On Her Face

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Pascale Pierloot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ever looked up the word 'comedogenic'?? It's quite insulting this day and age!!!!

#37

"I Don't Care What They Say About You, You're Alright"

Two Woman Laughing While Walking

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#40

"You Are The Only Person I Know That Suits Being Awkward"

Shy Woman Sitting At The Party

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Pascale Pierloot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go out, and meet some other people, dear. How long since you've been out? 🙁🙃

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#41

"Your Skin Looks So Much Better!"

Woman Taking Care Of Her Face In Front Of The Mirror

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#42

"I Can't Believe You Just Had A Kid. You Look Amazing!"

Woman Holding Her Baby And Kissing Him On The Cheek

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#43

"Your Hair Is Beautiful. Is It Real?"

Woman With Amazing Hair In The Forrest

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Juliette Deroulede
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"May I ask if that is all your own hair? Hm. Pity it's red. " (If you get that reference, then you're an awesome person... 😁)

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#45

"Your House Feels So Cozy And Lived In"

Cozy Fireplace Inside A House

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Hey!
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is this backhanded? Edit: Okay, got it. Probably why all the kids around used to come and play at our house when my kids were young. LOL.

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#46

"That New Haircut Suits You So Much Better Than Your Old One"

Man Getting A Haircut

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#48

"The Way You've Overcome Your Disability Is So Inspiring!"

People Cycling In A Three Wheeled Bicycles

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Pascale Pierloot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really, feeling inspired to get disabilitadet as well, are we???😐🤔

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#50

"But Why Would You Get Tattoos? You're Such A Pretty Girl!"

Person Being Tatted By Tattoo Artist

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#51

"You've Got A Face For Television But A Personality For The Internet"

Clean Living Room On The First Floor Of The House

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#54

"You’re So Charming When You Make An Effort"

Man Pushing A Hail Bale Outside

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#55

"You Look So Professional With Your Hair Straight"

Woman With Black Hair Looking To The Side

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#56

"You’re Really Fast For Your Size"

Man Talking On Phone While Standing Near A Vintage Car

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#57

"You Must Be So Happy To Have Your House Remodeling Done. I Wouldn’t Have Guessed Siding Came In That Color"

Clean Front Porch Of The House

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#58

"The People Who Do (X Job) Don't Have To Be Smart At All. You Could Even Do (X Job)!"

Woman Doing Heavy Duty Job With A Helmet And Safety Glasses

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#59

"Your Haircut Really Slims Your Face"

Man In A Barber Shop Getting A Beard Work

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Juliette Deroulede
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't even recognize my co-worker after he shaved off what looked like 5 pounds of beard and sideburns... He looks like ten years younger now...

#60

“The Good Thing About Colleague X Is That You Never Have To Worry About Him Over Thinking It”

Two Guys Talking And Laughing At A Café

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#61

“You’re Very Eloquent For Someone With That Accent”

Two Woman Working On Laptop

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#62

"Well, I'm Not Dating You For Your Looks"

Couple Arguing On The Bench In A Park

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#63

"You're So Brave To Wear That"

Woman Posing Next To A Yellow Car

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#64

"That’s Not The Ugliest Shirt I’ve Seen You Wear"

Woman In Red T-shirts Sitting Next To The Fence

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#65

"You Might Not Be The Prettiest, But You’re Definitely The Funniest!"

Two Girls Laughing And Drinking Wine

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#66

"I Love How You Don't Care How You Come Across"

Tattooed Man Sitting Next To A Swimming Pool

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#67

"You Don't Even Look Pregnant!"

Pregnant Woman Showing Her Pregnancy Picture

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#68

"Your Wife Isn’t Half As Lucky As You Are"

Just Married Couple Dancing For The First Time

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#70

"God, Your Body Is So Perfect From The Waist Down"

Woman Covering Her Face With Hands

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#72

"You Have Such Strong Features!"

Bodybuilder Man Posing For A Photo

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#74

"You Look So Much More Awake With Makeup"

Woman Posing For A Picture

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#76

"You’re Really Funny… In Your Own Way"

Mom And Daughter Laughing Together

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#77

"Congratulations On Your Promotion! That’s Great Your Employer Settled For You"

Depressive man Looking At The Notebook

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#78

"You Don't Sweat Much For A Overweight Chick"

Scale And Meter On The Ground

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#79

"This One Looks Much Better Than The Last One!"

Four Woman Waiting Near The Dressing Room

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#80

"You Look Good For 30, Lol I Just Turned 21 Around Then"

Feed Up Woman While Working On Laptop

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#81

"The Back Of Your Hand Is So Smooth And Beautiful!"

Person Holding A Hand

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Hey!
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did say that to a doctor once, when I was a teenager and my hands were full of eczema.

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