28YO Sis Is Sick Of Woman Who Is Always Late To Pick Up Her Kid When She Babysits, Loses It
Interview With ExpertFor some people, time is more of a suggestion than an actual concept. You know the type: 5 minutes late turns into 45, and suddenly you’re wondering if they’ve time-traveled to a different era. Chronically late people have this magical ability to stretch time like it’s made of elastic, and somehow, you always end up paying for it.
And when you’re roped into babysitting for one of these time thieves? Well, congratulations, you’ve just been promoted to full-time nanny without even applying for the job. Just like it happened to one Redditor, when her sister’s “quick” errand-run turned into hours of unpaid babysitting.
More info: Reddit
Dealing with chronically late people can be a real nightmare, especially when family is involved
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One Redditor shares how a favor to babysit her sister’s kid turned into hours of unpaid work, canceled plans and a lot of frustration due to her sister’s chronic tardiness
Image credits: Racool_studio/ Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman’s sister constantly asks her to babysit for her, but is always late, forcing her to cancel her plans to watch the kid
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The woman finally put her foot down and told her sister she won’t babysit for her again, as she is fed up with her chronic tardiness
The poster of this story (who we’ll just call Ellie) is our 28-year-old accidental babysitter, who’s always been pretty tight with her older sis. Things were cool between them until Ellie discovered the dark side of being “the helpful sibling.” You know, the one that always gets stuck babysitting… and then waiting and waiting some more.
Every time Ellie agreed to watch her niece, her sister pulled a vanishing act worthy of a magician, except instead of pulling a rabbit out of a hat, she disappeared for hours.
This is not just being a little late. No, no. We’re talking Olympic-level lateness. If you’re rolling your eyes right now, you’re not the only one. Sure, life happens, and parenting is basically an extreme sport with no breaks, but Ellie’s sister treats the clock like a suggestion rather than an actual concept.
The final straw came when Ellie agreed to babysit her 3-year-old niece for three hours, with a hard stop at 6 PM so she could make plans with friends. But, surprise surprise, her sister pulled her classic move and showed up two hours late. Which meant Ellie had to cancel her plans, fuming silently while her sister breezed in without a care in the world.
So, Ellie had to put her foot down, finally, and told her sister she’d had enough of the chronic tardiness. But sis whipped out the ultimate guilt trip, playing the single mom card. And of course, their parents got involved, because why not make things even more awkward?
Mom and dad suggested Ellie should cut her sister some slack because, well, “family helps family”, right? Sure, and it’s only natural we do so. However, when family members start taking advantage of your kindness, it’s time to set some clear boundaries, which can sometimes be harder than saying no to an extra slice of pizza.
To find out more on this topic, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Katie Hurley, LCSW, a clinical advisor, mental health expert and author, for some comments. She told us that the key to setting healthy boundaries with family members is to choose a calm moment when everyone is relaxed and not under stress.
So, it would be a good idea to avoid doing it late at night or during a busy workday. When you bring it up, be straightforward but keep a composed tone, expressing your needs without justifying yourself.
For example, if you need a break from babysitting for a sibling, Dr. Hurley suggests saying something like, “I love spending time with your kids when I can, but I just don’t have the time during the next few weeks. I wanted to give you a heads up so you can make other plans.”
This approach is straightforward and firm, while also acknowledging that change can be challenging. It lets your sibling know where you stand without feeling the need to justify your decision.
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We asked Dr. Hurley what are the psychological impacts of feeling taken advantage of by family members. She told us that when someone feels used by family, it can trigger feelings of frustration, resentment, and emotional fatigue. These responses are perfectly natural, but if they go unaddressed, they can escalate and affect relationships even more.
We wanted to know when should someone step back from helping a family member to avoid burnout or resentment. Hurley explained that burnout from overcommitting to family can show up as poor sleep, emotional detachment, and even physical symptoms like headaches or fatigue.
“We all have different physical manifestations of stress and burnout. Pay close attention to the cues your body sends. When you feel those symptoms crowding out your ability to attend to your daily activities, that’s when you know you’ve pushed yourself too far,” Hurley explained.
While it’s true that families often rely on each other for support, this shouldn’t come at the cost of personal boundaries. Sure, family helps family, but only when both sides are being respectful. And if Ellie’s sister can’t figure out how to manage her schedule, she might just find herself without a babysitter in the future.
Here’s a fun fact: research shows that people who are always late often aren’t just inconsiderate, but they’re genuinely bad at estimating time. Some people are naturally more optimistic about how long things will take. They think they can squeeze in a hundred tasks in an hour when realistically, they can barely handle three.
So, while Ellie’s sister might not be deliberately blowing off her time, that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.
What’s your take on this story? Let us know in the comments below.
Netizens side with the woman, saying she’s not a jerk for refusing to babysit for her sister after she showed up late again, arguing that she should be respectful of her sister’s time
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Poll Question
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Nope. If a person is doing you the favour of babysitting your children, you move heaven and earth to make sure you are back at the agreed time. Acceptable reasons for running late are: there was a traffic incident, and the road was totally blocked; a person had a medical emergency, and I had to stay until the ambulance arrived... And even then, as soon as you are able to call/text to let the babysitter know about the delay.
"Family helps family" but they can disrespect you the whole time too, so deal with it. I finished the statement made by OP's parents.
Who knows if the sister is terrible time manager or using the extra hour or so to relax. I can understand needing extra time for that (alone time, going out, whatever). A respectful person builds that into the request for babysitting or negotiates (example: "I'm going to a colleague's retirement dinner. How late can I stay?") or gets a backup (a babysitter or the parents in this case).
But it was the aunt who had plans. She's taking the p**S and the parents back her up! It's not going to change under those circumstances.
Load More Replies...Nope. If a person is doing you the favour of babysitting your children, you move heaven and earth to make sure you are back at the agreed time. Acceptable reasons for running late are: there was a traffic incident, and the road was totally blocked; a person had a medical emergency, and I had to stay until the ambulance arrived... And even then, as soon as you are able to call/text to let the babysitter know about the delay.
"Family helps family" but they can disrespect you the whole time too, so deal with it. I finished the statement made by OP's parents.
Who knows if the sister is terrible time manager or using the extra hour or so to relax. I can understand needing extra time for that (alone time, going out, whatever). A respectful person builds that into the request for babysitting or negotiates (example: "I'm going to a colleague's retirement dinner. How late can I stay?") or gets a backup (a babysitter or the parents in this case).
But it was the aunt who had plans. She's taking the p**S and the parents back her up! It's not going to change under those circumstances.
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