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24
Aunt Wrongly Takes Heat From Folks For ‘Poor Babysitting,’ Refuses To Help Them With Niece At All
The ancient sages once said that the best defense is a good offense. Well, it doesn’t always work properly, but many entitled folks, unfortunately, have adapted this principle to successfully manipulate their loved ones and others. And with each new example, we are convinced of this again and again.
For example, the story we’re going to tell you today, from the user u/TorturedLawyersDept, has all the elements of a true entitled tale. A little niece, a decent loving auntie, and the kid’s parents desperately wanted her to always be available for short-notice babysitting calls. However, let’s not get ahead of ourselves…
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has a niece whom she loves very much and usually agrees to the parents’ short-notice calls for babysitting
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Recently, the woman brought her partner to help with the kid on one of these calls, since she had an urgent work need
Image credits: TorturedLawyersDept
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
They spent a lovely evening, but then the parents began badmouthing the author for ‘catching her neglecting’ their child on camera
Image credits: TorturedLawyersDept
Image credits: krakenimages.com / agency (not the actual photo)
However, the woman had warned the parents in advance that she’d be busy with work that evening
Image credits: TorturedLawyersDept
So, the author simply refused to babysit the niece at all—despite having a very good relationship with the kid
The Original Poster (OP) usually helps her brother and SIL with babysitting their daughter from time to time and, let’s say, is part of a rather narrow circle of people who can be called at literally the last moment. Which, in fact, happened recently, when the parents urgently needed to go somewhere.
The author warned them that she works from home and that she would be working that evening too, because the request from her bro came too late. She invited her partner, who usually gets along with the girl greatly, and that’s how they spent the evening. The aunt worked, while her significant other played with the kid.
And what was the indignation and disappointment of our heroine, when the brother and SIL later accused her of neglecting to babysit? The parents said that they “caught” her on camera, and began to spread rumors among friends and family that she was supposedly a bad aunt. Although, the OP swears that she warned them in advance!
As a result, our heroine ended up refusing to babysit the niece at all and asked to remove herself from the list of ‘short-notice nannies.’ The relatives became even more indignant, which led to an even greater wave of badmouthing, although even the OP’s own mom sided with her because she knew that she had always been a decent auntie.
Well, now the brother and his wife are demanding an apology from the original poster for refusing to babysit, and for her to be available for last-minute calls again, as before. And our heroine sincerely ponders how justified her decision was. The woman took it online seeking support.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“In fact, this happens quite often – when an honest person encounters manifestations of blatant entitlement and manipulating, they begin to think that it’s actually their fault for what is happening,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment on this case. “And nothing good comes of it, of course.”
“In this situation, if the child’s parents consider the aunt to be such a terrible nanny, why then do they insist so much on her babysitting again? Right, because in fact they understand that she is right. And that they themselves need to apologize.”
“But of course they don’t want to apologize – that’s why they resort to aggressive manipulation techniques. If you convince a person that they’re guilty, then it’s easier to control them, isn’t it? I think that sooner or later they will simply tell her that they are ready to refuse her apology – if she goes back to babysitting. This is also such a technique…” Irina summarizes.
People in the comments on the original post, by the way, quite sincerely urge the author not to agree to the demands of her entitled bro and SIL. “You would definitely be [wrong] if you babysit your niece again. You need to protect yourself. How do you know what lies they will tell about you in the future?” someone reasonably wrote.
Many responders are also sure that such a case is a clear reason to reconsider the OP’s relationships with relatives. “They have made strong allegations against you and you have to protect yourself and your reputation. They made their bed, they get to lie in it,” another netizen added. And what would you, our dear readers, advise the original poster?
People in the comments unanimously sided with the woman, dubbing her relatives incredibly entitled and inappropriate
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What do you think ?
Libstak 1 week ago
How is she the safe person if she apparently yells at and neglects her niece? It sounds like they love to put others down as a way to show how perfect they are to the world. They are seriously twisted and she owes them nothing. I absolutely would not baby sit for someone who will use my sacrifice as an opportunity to publically put me down so they can feel they are standing on some holier than thou pedestal.
The Other Guest 1 week ago
Yup, I'd respond to every accusation with, "If I did such a terrible job, why are you/they so anxious to have me back?"
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 1 week ago
Screenshot those conversations and drop them in the family chat. Sit back and enjoy your popcorn.
Shannon Donnelly 1 week ago
I guess I find this behavior hysterical because I wasn't personally involved, but to have someone scream, "You neglected & verbally abused our daughter!!! WE DEMAND THAT YOU BABYSIT HER AGAIN!!!" Obviously I wouldn't put myself in a situation where the parents could accuse me of abusing the child again, but I wouldn't be panicking like everyone else seems to be in about the accusations the B&SIL. They took their baseless accusations into the crazy zone & have lost any credibility they may once have had. They have zero physical proof, & anyone who was truly concerned that their child was being mistreated by another would not demand that that same person babysit again. Anyone who believes these nut jobs can volunteer to babysit for them.
Rdj 1 week ago (edited)
She should say: If you don't leave me alone I'm going to CPS to tell them you want to let your neglectful and abusive sister watch her. How dumb is this?
Load More Replies...
Kate Johnson 1 week ago
How can you possibly take the risk of being in relationship with people who will lie to other people about you like this? Who knows what they will say next? Will the police show up at your door? Under these circumstance I would have told them I was no longer interested in any relationship with them going forward and tell the parents the same. If they were coming to family events, I would not. I would be sad to not be part of my nieces life, but people like this are too pathological to trust to be part of your life.
Captain Grump 1 week ago
I would sue them for defamation (more for a public retraction than money). If they have posted anything on social media, add libel to the suit.
Mark Childers 1 week ago
If those people would like to friends and family, throwing their "safe person" under the bus, they would lie to the police. Toxic people shooting themselves in the foot.
Nicole Weymann 1 week ago
I find it strange that B&SIL still insist on OP sitting the niece if she supposedly "abused" her. I wouldn't babysit any more, either. Who knows what they conjure up next?
Uncommon Boston 1 week ago
Am I missing something? What is with the hateful gossip inside families? The endless lies, damaging blaming, and demanding people take sides. Families skipping what should be a family celebration and withholding affection. My family isn't close. We live far apart and are rather distant. I have always been jealous of close families, but not communicating means no drama, no hurt feelings, and not splitting the family over minor issues. The constant rifts must be exhausting. You don't know how lucky you are and waste what is good in your life
Schmebulock 1 week ago
Basil is psycho and you should never be around them or their kid without other people as witnesses.
Granny's Thoughts 1 week ago
They tell the world what a mean horrible babysitter you are but then whine when you stop babysitting? Who knows what else they are saying? You are smart not to get involved babysitting in the future. Their kid, their responsibility.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 week ago (edited)
Blood is not always thicker than water, and especially never when it comes to making demands and gaslighting. Sh*tbag excuse of a brother and SIL can expect an apology from OP that now find themselves a legit babysitter that they'll have to pay for. OP is finally free to do her own thing and let those unfit scumbuckets-excuse of parents figure out their babysitter issues by themselves. Seriously, people!!! >:-(
Petra Peitsch 1 week ago (edited)
Cut those AHs out of your life, even if one of them is your brother. They are controlling and manipulating bastards. They can very well pay for a pro nanny, if they need the services, what you are providing as a gesture, because iS-fAmILy. Family can be arseholes too, people you don't need in your life.Reserve yourself to average things, like family gatherings, holidays and so on, but never ever do them another favor. Don't let them in your life, and don't involve yourself in theirs.
CBolt 1 week ago
Something is definitely wrong with "BASIL." They've spread horrible lies abt OP, intimating that she was neglectful & abusive. She declines to babysit in the future, which makes them angry (well, what did they think her reaction was going to be?), & THEY want an apology from OP for depriving Neice of a safe babysitter - the most convoluted nonsense I've read in a while. But the most shocking thing? OP's parents didn't side with "BASIL" & say "get over it, that's just the way they are & - they're family"! Must mark this day on my calendar.
SKaye 1 week ago
It's unfortunate the OP has to give up her relationship with her niece. I would not advocate ever babysitting for them again, but if she ever has a chance to spend time with her niece, she should record her every move with a portable nanny cam and send that to her parents for proof of no wrongdoing so she can't be wrongfully accused again.
Jessica SpeLangm 1 week ago (edited)
My first response to B&SIL after the family chat accusations would have been "You no longer have a last-minute babysitter. Good luck finding my replacement." and I wouldn't have said anything else after that, unless they apologized to me publicly and even then I wouldn't be their last minute babysitter. FAFO
tori Ohno 1 week ago
If you're going to accuse me of neglect and abuse, you'd better provide the proof. Because my attorney is going to be contacting you about defamation charges. I'm not joking. Child abuse and neglect is a very serious allegation nowadays. Ser how fast they backpedal when faced with a lawsuit. Family or not, I'm fighting back.
Janelle Collard 1 week ago
I agree with OP not babysitting anymore. But, if she wanted to be petty (like I am!) she could tell B + SIL : "Ok, I'll babysit but it will cost you $200 CASH upfront for the 1st hour and $100 cash for each hour after that. If you won't agree to that I can't babysit."
Captain Grump 1 week ago
Given their penchant for child abuse accusations, I wouldn't even offer for money.
Load More Replies... Libstak 1 week ago
How is she the safe person if she apparently yells at and neglects her niece? It sounds like they love to put others down as a way to show how perfect they are to the world. They are seriously twisted and she owes them nothing. I absolutely would not baby sit for someone who will use my sacrifice as an opportunity to publically put me down so they can feel they are standing on some holier than thou pedestal.
The Other Guest 1 week ago
Yup, I'd respond to every accusation with, "If I did such a terrible job, why are you/they so anxious to have me back?"
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 1 week ago
Screenshot those conversations and drop them in the family chat. Sit back and enjoy your popcorn.
Shannon Donnelly 1 week ago
I guess I find this behavior hysterical because I wasn't personally involved, but to have someone scream, "You neglected & verbally abused our daughter!!! WE DEMAND THAT YOU BABYSIT HER AGAIN!!!" Obviously I wouldn't put myself in a situation where the parents could accuse me of abusing the child again, but I wouldn't be panicking like everyone else seems to be in about the accusations the B&SIL. They took their baseless accusations into the crazy zone & have lost any credibility they may once have had. They have zero physical proof, & anyone who was truly concerned that their child was being mistreated by another would not demand that that same person babysit again. Anyone who believes these nut jobs can volunteer to babysit for them.
Rdj 1 week ago (edited)
She should say: If you don't leave me alone I'm going to CPS to tell them you want to let your neglectful and abusive sister watch her. How dumb is this?
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 1 week ago
How can you possibly take the risk of being in relationship with people who will lie to other people about you like this? Who knows what they will say next? Will the police show up at your door? Under these circumstance I would have told them I was no longer interested in any relationship with them going forward and tell the parents the same. If they were coming to family events, I would not. I would be sad to not be part of my nieces life, but people like this are too pathological to trust to be part of your life.
Captain Grump 1 week ago
I would sue them for defamation (more for a public retraction than money). If they have posted anything on social media, add libel to the suit.
Mark Childers 1 week ago
If those people would like to friends and family, throwing their "safe person" under the bus, they would lie to the police. Toxic people shooting themselves in the foot.
Nicole Weymann 1 week ago
I find it strange that B&SIL still insist on OP sitting the niece if she supposedly "abused" her. I wouldn't babysit any more, either. Who knows what they conjure up next?
Uncommon Boston 1 week ago
Am I missing something? What is with the hateful gossip inside families? The endless lies, damaging blaming, and demanding people take sides. Families skipping what should be a family celebration and withholding affection. My family isn't close. We live far apart and are rather distant. I have always been jealous of close families, but not communicating means no drama, no hurt feelings, and not splitting the family over minor issues. The constant rifts must be exhausting. You don't know how lucky you are and waste what is good in your life
Schmebulock 1 week ago
Basil is psycho and you should never be around them or their kid without other people as witnesses.
Granny's Thoughts 1 week ago
They tell the world what a mean horrible babysitter you are but then whine when you stop babysitting? Who knows what else they are saying? You are smart not to get involved babysitting in the future. Their kid, their responsibility.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 week ago (edited)
Blood is not always thicker than water, and especially never when it comes to making demands and gaslighting. Sh*tbag excuse of a brother and SIL can expect an apology from OP that now find themselves a legit babysitter that they'll have to pay for. OP is finally free to do her own thing and let those unfit scumbuckets-excuse of parents figure out their babysitter issues by themselves. Seriously, people!!! >:-(
Petra Peitsch 1 week ago (edited)
Cut those AHs out of your life, even if one of them is your brother. They are controlling and manipulating bastards. They can very well pay for a pro nanny, if they need the services, what you are providing as a gesture, because iS-fAmILy. Family can be arseholes too, people you don't need in your life.Reserve yourself to average things, like family gatherings, holidays and so on, but never ever do them another favor. Don't let them in your life, and don't involve yourself in theirs.
CBolt 1 week ago
Something is definitely wrong with "BASIL." They've spread horrible lies abt OP, intimating that she was neglectful & abusive. She declines to babysit in the future, which makes them angry (well, what did they think her reaction was going to be?), & THEY want an apology from OP for depriving Neice of a safe babysitter - the most convoluted nonsense I've read in a while. But the most shocking thing? OP's parents didn't side with "BASIL" & say "get over it, that's just the way they are & - they're family"! Must mark this day on my calendar.
SKaye 1 week ago
It's unfortunate the OP has to give up her relationship with her niece. I would not advocate ever babysitting for them again, but if she ever has a chance to spend time with her niece, she should record her every move with a portable nanny cam and send that to her parents for proof of no wrongdoing so she can't be wrongfully accused again.
Jessica SpeLangm 1 week ago (edited)
My first response to B&SIL after the family chat accusations would have been "You no longer have a last-minute babysitter. Good luck finding my replacement." and I wouldn't have said anything else after that, unless they apologized to me publicly and even then I wouldn't be their last minute babysitter. FAFO
tori Ohno 1 week ago
If you're going to accuse me of neglect and abuse, you'd better provide the proof. Because my attorney is going to be contacting you about defamation charges. I'm not joking. Child abuse and neglect is a very serious allegation nowadays. Ser how fast they backpedal when faced with a lawsuit. Family or not, I'm fighting back.
Janelle Collard 1 week ago
I agree with OP not babysitting anymore. But, if she wanted to be petty (like I am!) she could tell B + SIL : "Ok, I'll babysit but it will cost you $200 CASH upfront for the 1st hour and $100 cash for each hour after that. If you won't agree to that I can't babysit."
Captain Grump 1 week ago
Given their penchant for child abuse accusations, I wouldn't even offer for money.
Load More Replies...
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