No one is immune to awkward conversations. I mean, we are all social animals living among fellow human beings, and just as it’s sometimes fun and wonderful to be among them, it's also pretty awkward too. We gotta pay the price for all the fun, right?

So even if we agree that the awkward exchanges you wish would disappear are part of human communication and occasionally we’re gonna get that blushing convo thrown into our daily errands, sometimes the exchanges are so much more complex than that. Especially if you’re dealing with someone who really annoys you. Yep, your colleague, tutor, a friend of friend, you know it.

In order to find out exactly how to remain calm when dealing with people who irritate you, because as you know very well, it’s unavoidable, we spoke with Susan Petang, a certified stress management coach specializing in painful life changes. “For people who are irritating and annoying, ask yourself, 'Why could they be doing that?' Maybe the dog threw up in their shoes. Maybe they had an argument a few minutes ago. Maybe they had a horrible childhood and they don't know any better.”

Susan also reminds us of a truth as old as history: “usually other people's bad behavior has nothing to do with us.” And even if that doesn't justify their behavior, it helps you to stay calmer.

The next phase when learning to deal with people you don’t find comfortable is setting boundaries and limits. “Most of the time, the best strategy is to let people's irritating behavior go. It's usually not worth your energy to confront every person who steps on your toes or annoys you. Sometimes, though, you may decide that a line has been crossed and someone's behavior has to be stopped so it doesn't have a negative effect on you.”

Susan gave a useful example: “To do that, use an XYZ statement: 'When you do X, I feel Y, and I'd like Z.' Here's what that might sound like: ‘When you criticize the reports I do, I feel angry and unhappy. I'd like to get some constructive feedback instead, if you don't like the way I'm writing them.’”

Most importantly, tone and attitude are everything! “There may be a day when you might irritate someone else—so how would you want to be spoken to? Be the change you want to see, because your actions are teaching others how you want to be treated,” the stress management coach concluded.