Love the response.

Waitress : enjoy your meal. Me : thanks, you too.

Thanks I needed to know someone else really doesn't listen at times!

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Haha, oops. Yesterday morning my daughter and I were having a chat. She stopped for a minute and started talking into her phone to send a voice message to her bf. I thought she was done and let out a fart. I realised she hadn't finished when she started laughing. She played it back, and yep, you could hear the fart. We said if her bf hears it we will blame the dog.

I hate those things. It really does seem like they are talking to you and then they always have the nerve to get pissy when you respond as if you routinely look at people's ears before talking

No, I would've done the same. She should've been more specific. I want ice cream.

I can't stop laughing at this!!!

You just need to change Your name to "Muslim" - the easiest way to live with it

And the award for The Nicest Person in the world goes to...

POUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I just woke up my husband laughing.

Put yourself in her shoes. She is probably posting on Reddit this very moment "Some weird guy asked me if he could pet a muffin I was holding" (I figured that "...he could pet my muffin..." would sound even weirder)

The boyfriend message was so sweet and polite and nice. Love it

In fairness I've never heard of wine served by the liter even in metric countries. In Russia its glass or bottle.

You ducked up...

Oh no...

Reminds me of my dad when he forgot his glasses and asked my mother who the weird guy by the door was. The "weird guy" was a coat hanger in a restaurant.

Tesco lad trying to get out of an awkward situation: "nooo, it's part of the meal deal" :D

They probably tell that story at every anniversary.

I bet the dog was happy

"Mwuah, this car crash is for you, gorgeous!"

Well I guess you could chat with him and see if it was the right decision

Therapy done right? It always feels good to laugh.

I still wouldn't get in the van!

The customer: "I was afraid to ask, but yes, I would like them in a bag" :) *Po-po-po-poker face po-po-poker face*

This is my nightmare when I go shoe shopping: that someone will try on or steal my shoes...

That's hilarious! It's almost as funny as falling down, and eating ass.🥴😁😆🤣

Bet she didn't even notice!

I don't do windows but I love dogs!

Don't break up with anyone at a public place like that. Jerk.

Librarians help a LOT of people. There is a good chance they didn't know you. They were probably ready to point you in the direction of the bathroom except you turned and left. They wouldn't have known what to do with the money so it would have been entered as a donation at the end of the day. Lastly, library accounts expire after a year and at my library are deleted after two years of inactivity, meaning no record of the original fine. It's been three years, it's time to go back and start afresh.

That's why I always make surely to cheek what I've typed before I press scent!

Balls of steel :D

"Is thing on?"

Yah Becky

Guess you can consider yourself SAVED!!

dodged a bullet like a pro ^^

Grill your own damn cheese

Well, if you get 59 out of 59 in a test, then you're not dumb ;-)

Same thing happened to my grandmother. She thought her son (my dad) was calling from college. It was actually some other college kid trying to call his mom. They had a nice chat before they figured it out.

imagine if there was a plot twist...

You should be careful with soup too. You can spill it all over you.

When i saw the name Stan my brain.exe stopped working and i read satan

Well let's hope this story comes to mind if he ever asks you to marry him.

So many muffin atories!

I did something similar....We had a second unscheduled school assembly one week (the first was because a student had died) and asked my friend group "geez who died this time?"...it was a teacher. He was murdered. We got to go home early.

I know just seeing if you were paying attention!

She yelled anyone, be more specific, people!

First of all, maybe they should've started with that and secondly, please learn how to phrase, no matter your position. Not taking orders seems like a good response.