Diabolical

Also bury a dead animal over the body so that if they do dig up the plant, they'll think that the smell was coming from the animal

Emily shat on my carpet again 🙄

people, remember, consent is important when picking us up.

i like how this is clearly a screenshot of a boredpanda post with the number erased from the title caption

Plus you get the added bonus of having to clean up your kitchen and do dishes!

Unfortunately they may start to suspect it’s not tea when you begin slurring your words and betting people $5 that you can do a handstand on your desk.

Lovely

To bee happy

Perfect. Anyone wanna join the friend group I’ve made? We can play dnd(I’ll be the dm) ,do some face masks, sacrifice some stuff we find outside, make snacks… etc

If you’re single and all alone you don’t even need to talk 😎

Although my husband and I have a quite romantic how we met story, I remember the exact moment I knew it was forever love. He came home earlier than expected to find me in bed with a book. He striped off and jumped in with me - then picked up a book of his own and we stayed quietly reading for the rest of the day.

Sounds like a sad relationship. My BF would probably try to stop me from reading and ask me to tell him now what's wrong xD

Like that guy in Japan who went to jail for 3D printing a F*****G GUN

You will fascinate me with a piece of cheese

Dangernoodle holding noodles :)

I can’t even see their faces but they look so disappointed

3) Fake your own death

I actually do need to fix my glasses now though

*sleeps on ikea box and shoves clothes into another one*

Do the same if you want to know if there's a tornado

I once took huge bag of oregano through customs without thinking. I'd picked and dried it myself, and didn't think what it looked for too long. Even when the girl at bag check held it up, I shrugged and said it was a years supply. Luckily as our entire luggage was food related, customs laughed as they checked it out.

ingenious

Omg I feel like an idiot lmao

I... have done this before. Once. But not with lays.

You can pet any animal you choose, but some of them only once.

Sue them Edit: this was a joke please don’t roast me in the comments 😂

Tried it, need several extras in case your arms aren’t long

Thanks alot! The more people that know this the less I can rob!

Mum: Step on a stick and break your son’s di-

And garden. And street. And car. And entire neighborhood.

Wow great for Halloween , trying it to test out a costume

As a bonus, you will also never have to play tennis again

Tried it, but the building flew away.

Don't have dvd drive where can I shove the onions?

That's uncanny

Use toes when you run out of fingers

Made me chuckle +1

NO!

This does not belong here, this is legit!

Not sure if that's meant to inspire or depress you