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“I Don’t Know What She Expected Me To Do”: Disgusted Woman Berates SIL For Breastfeeding Her Baby
Not everyone will appreciate your help and kindness—some people might actually even get mad at you for it. Here’s a question for you, Pandas: would you feed a hungry baby? Odds are that you’d say ‘yes.’ However, would you breastfeed a baby you’re babysitting without asking the mother’s permission? While many of you’d still say ‘yes,’ some of you might feel uncomfortable about the entire situation. And that’s exactly what we’re talking about today.
Redditor u/ThrowawayLini202 turned to the AITA online community for their opinion about whether or not she was in the wrong to breastfeed her niece while she was babysitting her. She’d run out of formula and didn’t want to see the 4-month-old baby crying due to hunger. However, when the child’s mother came back to pick her up, she was disgusted, agitated, and berated the woman for nursing her.
Scroll down for the full story and to see how the internet reacted when they read it. What are your thoughts on this, Pandas? Do you think the author of the post did the right thing or did she cross some boundaries by breastfeeding a child that wasn’t hers? What would you have done in this situation? Be sure to share your thoughts in the comments.
RELATED:
One woman found herself in a dilemma while babysitting her 4-month-old niece: either breastfeed her or let her go hungry
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
She decided to nurse the baby, but she had no idea that her sister-in-law would react the way she did
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/ThrowawayLini202
Both the OP and her sister-in-law gave birth to their babies around the same time. The relationship between them was absolutely solid until the breastfeeding ‘incident.’ The author of the post explained that, in their household, they don’t really rely on formula all that much: she breastfeeds her child most of the time.
“I really did not have any other alternative except nurse my niece which I did a few times because they were gone for quite long,” the aunt wrote in her post on the AITA subreddit.
“How am I going to leave them alone and then run to the supermarket to buy formula? I don’t have two-seater baby prams either so I can’t bring them along to the supermarket. If SIL had a preference, she should have brought some formula in the baby essentials pack she passed to me. There were only diapers, rash cream, and a pacifier in the bag she gave me, no formula powder,” the woman explained that she wasn’t sure what her sister-in-law had expected her to do.
Since that fateful day, the baby’s mom had been ignoring the aunt’s calls. This got her thinking if she actually did something wrong, so she turned to the AITA crowd to hear their verdict. Most Reddit users thought that the aunt absolutely did the right thing and blamed the mom for not packing the formula.
However, some redditors believed that the OP violated a lot of boundaries by breastfeeding the baby without asking the mother in advance. Some folks pointed out that there was the possibility of passing on diseases via breastfeeding. At the same time, this got the internet users thinking about what the alternatives in this particular situation would have been.
Parenting blogger Samantha Scroggin, the creator of the Walking Outside in Slippers blog, shared a few thoughts with us about breastfeeding and its boundaries when it comes to other children. She highlighted the fact that we should never judge any mom for choosing either breast milk or formula for her baby.
“I breastfed both of my two children, and it was a special time that I enjoyed. That said, I had to supplement with formula for both of my children to ensure they had enough to eat. I would never pressure or shame a mom for her decisions regarding feeding her baby, as long as she was keeping the baby healthy to the best of her abilities,” mom and blogger Samantha told Bored Panda.
“Breast milk is obviously good for a baby when that option is available, but it is not available or reasonable in all circumstances. I would encourage new mothers to be gentle on themselves as well as their babies, and ensure they are taking care of themselves along with their infant. And trust your gut, always.”
Moreover, Samantha shared her thoughts about breastfeeding someone else’s child without getting permission.
“I can’t personally imagine making the decision to breastfeed a baby that’s not my own, unless we were stranded on a deserted island or something with literally no other options,” she said.
“At the very least, it seems like the person considering breastfeeding a baby who is not theirs would consult with the infant’s parents before making that choice. It also seems like part of responsible parenting to have enough formula on hand before leaving your child in someone’s care.”
Each and every family will decide what’s best for them and theirs after speaking to medical professionals. Everyone should weigh the pros and cons, the convenience and health benefits between breastfeeding and feeding the child formula, within their own unique context. And every parent should be the one to draw the boundaries of how others interact with their children.
However, generally speaking, breastfeeding is by far the better alternative to formula for babies. The American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization recommend breastfeeding babies because it defends against infections, prevents allergies, and protects against a number of chronic conditions.
Taking these health concerns into account, babies ought to be breastfed exclusively for the first 6 months, and it’s recommended to keep this up until at least 12 months of age.
Kids Health notes that breastfed babies have fewer infections and hospitalizations than kids that are given formula. During breastfeeding, a mother passes on her antibodies to her child, strengthening their immune system. Babies who were born prematurely benefit from breastfeeding the most.
The aunt shared some more details about what happened in the comments of her viral post
Meanwhile, here’s what some other internet users thought about the situation
What do you think ?
Tina Hugh 2 years ago
Does anyone else think she was appropriate and kind to wet nurse the baby? Mothers in other mammal species (like cats) nurse each other’s offspring at need. It seems like a natural instinct to feed a baby who is hungry. She’s beating herself up, but she intended no harm and she did no harm. I’m not criticizing the other mother because that lady is the product of a society that’s weird about breasts. But I think OP’s attitude is the rational one that we’ll end up moving toward as we continue to progress
Monday 2 years ago
Yeah I have no idea why people freaked out. The baby was hungry, there was no formula, and the OP was lactating. Makes perfect sense to me to just breastfeed the baby then. Wet nursing was a thing for ages before formula became widely used anyway so I don't really see the issue. The mom really should have packed formula or her own milk regardless.
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Kat Min 2 years ago
I had no idea this could even be a problem. What exactly IS the problem? It used to be the most commone thing to give a baby to a 'wet nurse'. WE drink milk from other mammals all the time. I don't get where the isssue is.
Laure 2 years ago
My thoughts exactly, breast milk is sterile, there is no health issue unless she is a disguising person who didn't wash herself in weeks, and I don't understand peoples reaction. I may seem odd to some people but frankly, I am more concerned by the mother who leaves her baby without making sure there is enough to feed her own baby. Women were paid for centuries to raise and breastfeed other mother's babies.
Load More Replies...
Rubyjune 2 years ago
Knew an older lady(80y.o.) 20 years ago. When she was a mom the lady down the street had a sickly baby. My friend said she would put her own breast milk in a mason jar to give to that baby. The things that upset people these days make me fear for the future.
GFSTaylor 2 years ago
Around 20 years ago, a friend of mine had a slightly premature baby, who had to stay in hospital for a couple of weeks. She had plenty of milk coming, so at the hospital's request, she pumped milk regularly to be given to other premature babies there who would benefit from having breast milk instead of formula.
Load More Replies... Tina Hugh 2 years ago
Does anyone else think she was appropriate and kind to wet nurse the baby? Mothers in other mammal species (like cats) nurse each other’s offspring at need. It seems like a natural instinct to feed a baby who is hungry. She’s beating herself up, but she intended no harm and she did no harm. I’m not criticizing the other mother because that lady is the product of a society that’s weird about breasts. But I think OP’s attitude is the rational one that we’ll end up moving toward as we continue to progress
Monday 2 years ago
Yeah I have no idea why people freaked out. The baby was hungry, there was no formula, and the OP was lactating. Makes perfect sense to me to just breastfeed the baby then. Wet nursing was a thing for ages before formula became widely used anyway so I don't really see the issue. The mom really should have packed formula or her own milk regardless.
Load More Replies... Kat Min 2 years ago
I had no idea this could even be a problem. What exactly IS the problem? It used to be the most commone thing to give a baby to a 'wet nurse'. WE drink milk from other mammals all the time. I don't get where the isssue is.
Laure 2 years ago
My thoughts exactly, breast milk is sterile, there is no health issue unless she is a disguising person who didn't wash herself in weeks, and I don't understand peoples reaction. I may seem odd to some people but frankly, I am more concerned by the mother who leaves her baby without making sure there is enough to feed her own baby. Women were paid for centuries to raise and breastfeed other mother's babies.
Load More Replies... Rubyjune 2 years ago
Knew an older lady(80y.o.) 20 years ago. When she was a mom the lady down the street had a sickly baby. My friend said she would put her own breast milk in a mason jar to give to that baby. The things that upset people these days make me fear for the future.
GFSTaylor 2 years ago
Around 20 years ago, a friend of mine had a slightly premature baby, who had to stay in hospital for a couple of weeks. She had plenty of milk coming, so at the hospital's request, she pumped milk regularly to be given to other premature babies there who would benefit from having breast milk instead of formula.
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