Hadn't heard from my mom since I was about 15 (very unstable due to drugs n alcohol etc) ... When I was 29 I decided it was time to find out what happened to her. I figured if she was a Jane Doe somewhere then I could put her to rest, and if she was alive then I wanted to let her know that I forgave her. Hired a PI to help... I guess she was moved by my story and so she also ran info for the man my mother was apparently married to (on the house) ... And with one clue from his report I was able to track them down. I wouldn't have found my mom (alive and was just starting out on recovery after being homeless and addicted for many many years) if it wasn't for the PI who kindly ran an extra report for free. (Mom has remained sober now for about 7 years and is probably the healthiest she's ever been, physically and emotionally).

crayzcheshire , Kevin Dooley Report

POST

Hydra (she/her)

Hydra (she/her)

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

so glad she turned around and is doing well.

121

121points

reply

View more comments

I know someone that hired a pet detective to find their cat and he f****n found him.

eftah1991 , Ivo Mäeoja Report

POST

VeninTheNonBinaryRogue

VeninTheNonBinaryRogue

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

good job 👍

85

85points

reply

View more comments

Not me, but a friend hired one because he was suspicious his stepdad was being unfaithful to his mom. So, he asked me, and I put him in contact with a guy I knew.

Bit of a backstory, the stepdad is 5’10”, 160ish pounds. My friend is 6’2” 235 pounds, ripped. At 15, when my friend’s mom and stepdad started dating, my friend gave the the typical “you hurt her, you’re dead” speech. Also his bio dad walked out on him and his sister when my friend was like 4. It took a while, but my friend warmed up to the guy and he’s a good guy (took my friend and I to an 49ers game once which was pretty cool).

Anyways, the PI said he wasn’t cheating. Apparently there was a house on the market that my friend’s mom wanted, and he bought it. He had been remodeling it for some time and he kept it a secret. As a 5-year anniversary gift to her, he bought it. Anyways, they live in a five-bed house now.

Dchung0217 , denisbin Report

POST

pen is enjoyer

pen is enjoyer

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

so cool on my goodness lmaho

74

74points

reply

View more comments

My mother's dad walked out on mom, my aunt, and my grandmother when mom was just 5. A few years later, my grandmother died of a grand mal seizure. Mom was taken in by her grandparents, but she always wondered why her dad left and what became of him. In her 40's, she saved up a bit and hired a PI to track him down. Turns out he moved over time from Pittsburg to California where he wound up in prison for armed robbery and so e other violent crimes. He died in San Quentin penitentiary.

I think mom got a lot of closure out of that. She was able to see that life would have most likely been even worse had he stayed. At least living with her grandparents, she was loved and raised to fulfill her potential.

antisocialoctopus , Alexander C. Kafka Report

POST

Zoe's Mom

Zoe's Mom

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Holy c**p. I live across the bridge from St. Quentin. One of the scariest prisons in California located in one of the most expensive areas/real estate..

64

64points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

I have a story about private investigators doing a hilariously s**t job.

So, years ago, my brother injured his back at work because of his employer's unsafe work practices. During the ensuing suit, my brother's lawyer was given a folder full of documents from the employer's team. Turns out, they had hired a PI to investigate my brother to prove that his injury was faked. Well, unfortunately, the PI had been taking pictures of ME, operating an ATV mounted leaf hopper. My brother walked into the court hearing and watched the color drain from the opposing lawyers' faces when he introduced himself, looking nothing like me.

Fr1dge , Vee Report

POST

pen is enjoyer

pen is enjoyer

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

i like it like that

81

81points

reply

View more comments

I was the recipient of a PI. I came home from work one day and my bf asked to have my engagement ring as he wanted to take it to be professionally cleaned. The second he handed it over he accused me of cheating on him. The conversation went back and forth for ages. I was beside myself, I couldn’t believe what he was saying and he would not believe I was innocent.
He then told me he’d had me followed for six weeks by a PI who had seen me get into a red mini. It was a girl I knew giving me a lift to work but he would not believe me. I knew then it was over and packed my things and left. I told him to get in touch with the PI and have another look at this so called evidence that I was cheating. An hour later he turns up at where I was staying begging to have me back. He’d realised his mistake. There was no way I was going to get back with someone who would behave that way though so we parted ways.

Blondeinsideandout , nakhon100 Report

POST

Susie Elle

Susie Elle

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Smashed his own windows, this one

86

86points

reply

View more comments

My grandmothers first "boyfriend" after my grandfather died said he was a retired cop and a veteran. They enjoyed dancing to country music together, and bought a new car, in her name though, even though she can't drive anymore.

My uncles hired a PI. Turns out, that old bastard had a habit of shacking up with widows and bleeding them dry. (The boyfriend not the PI).

SimonSaysx , Jamie Report

POST

Nathaniel

Nathaniel

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

I hope that man got "accidentally" castrated.

85

85points

reply

Lisa H

Lisa H

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

"Oops, I didn't mean to stab you with a spoon there! Oops, there it goes again, my bad!"

17

17points

reply

Load More Replies...

Alexis Dominey

Alexis Dominey

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Something similar happened to my grandmother, house and yard work in exchange for food and shelter, the bastard got away with cash and jewelry mainly her wedding ring, broke my maw maw's heart. My uncle was arrested when he tried to kill him, and the bastard skipped town. Said bastard was shot dead when he tried the same b.s. on someone else my uncle knew. I wish she could have gotten the ring back. I am now more careful with who I trust.

2

2points

reply

LMW

LMW

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Oh me, oh my!! 🔪

2

2points

reply

Sherry Allison

Sherry Allison

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

I hope they got him out of her house and life.

0

0points

reply

Alexis Dominey

Alexis Dominey

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Years after my grandfather died, my grandfather had an okd guy ivwr to help with house and yard work. He got a room and food, he eventually stole some of her cash and jewelry most importantly her wedding ring. He escaped after mu uncle tried to kill him (my uncle ended up in jail for a while). She had trusted the heart breaking bastard, he seemed so nice. (That's one of the reasons why I don't trust easily) Karam eventually caught up with him, he tried to steal from someone my uncle knew and was shot dead. Wish she could have gotten it back.

0

0points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

My parents hired a private investigator to find out who my online bf was when I was 13.

The PI came back and told us he was just a fat a*s 13 yo... lmfao

hm_ellie , Jhaymesisviphotography Report

POST

Sinead Kenny

Sinead Kenny

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Happened to my niece at the same age but no PI her grandad is a whizz on computers. He was a 47yr old convicted paedophile

22

22points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

In his twenties, my SO hired a PI to find out what had become of the childhood bully who had made his life hell, and who had vowed to kill him. Actually, he *did* try by bringing a loaded gun to school, but some other kid ratted him out & the bully got expelled—but still lived in the neighborhood for a few more years & beat up my SO every chance he got.

The PI found the bully living in a town more than an hour outside the big city, in a dead-end job. He’d been arrested for assault and public drunkenness a couple times.

That info helped my SO get past his fear that the guy would find him some day & make good on his threat.

anon , Charlie Report

POST

stardust

stardust

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Glad that it turned out ok but :(

77

77points

reply

View more comments

My sister (mid 30s) is adopted and hired one to find her estranged biological father.

They came back saying that not only was he still alive and nearby, but he had a daughter. Meaning she also had a biological sibling!

Further digging from the PI uncovered that they weren't just similar ages either, they were exactly the same age. The evidence suggested that my sister had a twin and her birth father had taken the twin and vanished.

Huge, life-changing news.

Eventually, through more incredible detective work, the PI realised that the daughter was actually just my sister. There was no other sibling and they had just been investigating my sister the whole time accidentally. Needless to say, we asked for the money back.

TL;DR: Sister hired a private investigator, private investigator accidentally investigated sister.

grzzlybr , Nathan Report

POST

Nathaniel

Nathaniel

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Bet that was a roller coaster of emotions.

98

98points

reply

View more comments

I was a private investigator for a little bit. Most work PIs do is searching financial/court records and serving documents. But one time I was paid by wealthy parents to stake out their college senior who had stopped returning their calls. They were worried about her. These parents paid like $40k for round the clock monitoring just to find out their daughter dropped out of school and was a full time ski bum.

Btw stakeouts are mostly just sitting in your car reading all day

KenComesInABox , Matt Janicki Report

POST

Who Panda 420

Who Panda 420

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Had a PI tell me the same about sitting in cars all day. He was a customer at my dad's auto garage we had to fix his engine and quiet it down. I guess you can't be inconspicuous with a messed up loud engine or exhaust.

58

58points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

Not me, but my Grandfathers first wife.

Buckle in..

I live in New Zealand and this happened about 15 years ago when I was a young teen.

My Grandfather (Geoff), his wife and my grandmother (Mary), and their two children (their son Patrick my mum Ella), moved to NZ from Canada in 1986.
When living in Canada they owned a large and very beautiful Inn. It was often used as the place to stay/visit by famous people and dignitaries. There's even a photo of my grandparents with a baby Justin Trudeau and his father.
They ran this Inn for a number of years and raised their young kids whom they adopted in the early 70s.

Geoff and Mary were white folk, their children were not. It was very scandalous at the time.

---

Geoff was born in England and fought in WW2. RBAF.

He moved to Canada immediately after the war and met my grandmother Mary some time after. He was 27 years her senior.

---

Back in Canada the family split their time between the Inn during summer, and then lived in Fort Myers FL during the Canadian winters. This carried on for 13 or 14 years until, suddenly and seemingly one day out of the blue, he called the family into the main hall of their inn, sat everyone down and explained that they would be selling everything and moving to Nelson NZ.

Two weeks later, they were on a plane and on their way over.

Geoff buys a couple of furniture business and a movie theater and some property.

Five or six years after their move, their son Patrick heads to University in Dunedin and their daughter Ella moves out but remains in Nelson. Geoff decides he wants a divorce from Mary and they head their separate ways.

---
Fast forward to 2003

Geoff, Mary, and Ella have been living in Christchurch separately. Geoff has been remarried twice, and Mary has been remarried once - both since divorced.
Ella now has her own child (me) and life is seemingly normal.

Geoff and Mary have both independently lost any businesses or money they ever had and would now be considered middle class.

Geoff decides he'd like to rekindle his relationship with Mary as it would make financial sense. Mary agrees and they start looking for a nice new home to buy. Geoff explains that he had been declared bankrupt a number of times by this point so he decides it's best if the house is purchased by Mary. She agrees and secures a beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood.

I move in to the new house but at this stage Geoff is still tidying up his own estate and hasn't yet moved in.

He comes over one day after I've finished school to talk to both Mary and myself (note: my mum Ella was working out of town hence me moving in with them for a while).

Geoff explains that a week ago, a PI called him to tell him that there was a woman in England searching for him. They confirmed that he was the right man she was looking for and the PI explained that it was only by chance that he managed to trace him from England to Christchurch.

The woman searching for him was his LONG LOST DAUGHTER from his FIRST MARRIAGE during the war.


So, it turns out Geoff had a fling with a woman during the war, she got pregnant, they got married, he was deployed and fought (something happened?) and Geoff was assumed DEAD. Geoff didn't die, he moved to Canada - same name, no real attempt to hide his identity ever.

The PI found him, the lost daughter (Jen) got in touch, they spoke, he then reached out to his first wife (Karen) and bought them plane tickets to NZ.

Jen and Karen stayed for a week. The Jen lived in England, the Karen lived in Alabama. Jen returned home after a week. Karen did not.

Geoff pulled pin on moving in with my Mary as he had originally planned, told her that he was going to remarry his first wife Karen. Geoff asked for Mary for her original engagement ring so that he could give it to Karen. Mary reluctantly agreed on the condition that the engagement ring would be left to me when Geoff died. He agreed and have Karen the ring and they got married.

Geoff and Karen bought an expensive house in a fancy neighborhood and they built an even fancier second house in an even fancier neighborhood. Karen convinced him that we the family were trying to pull him away from her and tried she tried to alienate us from him.

One year later Geoff got extremely old and sick and shortly after his diagnosis, he died.
Before he died, Karen wrote us all out of the Will.

The second day after his death, Karen sold all of his belongings without our knowledge.
The 5th day after he died, Karen got on a plane and went back to Alabama, never to be heard from again. She left with the ring which was the only thing in the Will that was left to me.
We only heard from the long lost daughter Jen again about 5 years after Geoff's death, when she herself was dying.

Karen wasn't even here for the funeral and she left with all the money he had hidden in trust funds over the years or from the sales of their properties.

Karen died in 2010. She was buried with my ring.

My grandma Mary, who is still alive, has never been able to get over this.

My mum Ella killed herself 18 months ago.

This is the story of how someone hired a PI and it unravelled our family.


Geoff was great - he was definitely into some shady s**t but he was the only male role model I had growing up. He loved me like I was the most precious thing in the world. He treated me better than he ever treated his own kids and I miss him often. But there are so many holes and small details missing from this story that my heart aches for a chance to get the full story out of him.

To this day I still wonder what the motive was for Jen and Karen trying to find him... Jen and Karen barely spoke to each other after their one week stay here in NZ when Karen decided to live in NZ and remarry her first husband Geoff. What did they fight about I wonder.

Nearly everyone in this story is dead now so I guess I'll never know.. or maybe I could hire my own PI.


EDIT: Wooooooweee thanks for the awards kind redditors. Who needs a ring when I have gold and hugs. Chuffed!!

EDIT 2: Added names and words for easier reading.

ebonybrewin , Pedro Alonso Report

POST

Susie Elle

Susie Elle

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago (edited)

• Report

Karen sounds like an awful person but I also wish Geoff had made better choices

61

61points

reply

View more comments

Not mine specifically, but my mother hired one to spy on the school. See, my little brother is dyslexic and has severe social anxiety, and so was struggling a lot in a public school setting. He had an IEP, which the teachers and principal were insisting was being followed. But everyday my brother would come home in tears shaking because he felt abandoned and stupid.

So mom hired the investigator, and sure enough the teachers were basically just ignoring my brother. They'd sit him in the back of the room and demand he do his work, then wouldn't help him through it. Then they'd yell at him because he didn't do it (again, he couldn't write because of the dyslexia).

With all the evidence, my mom was able to arrange a meeting with the school board and threatened to sue. They agreed to pay his tuition for a private school that was supposed to help. It didn't, and mom ended up just pulling him out and homeschooling him. He's been doing a lot better.

Cyynric , Elizabeth Albert Report

POST

Elaine Elder

Elaine Elder

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Sometimes dyslexia is the 2 sides of the brain being too connected. Leonardo DaVinci wrote all his notes with his left hand because right hand was better for detail drawing. It took experts 300 years to decipher his notes, berthed were backwards. I was completely lost until 6th grade. When cursive was still taught in school. The brain uses different parts to see something in the distance than up close. So combined with the fact backwards and forward are interchangeable... block letters are terrible for learning to communicate with. But a lowercase b and d are created completely different. Adding keyboards and smartphones to the mix has not improved the situation when testing removes them. And cursive is no longer taught at any level in any school setting. The most tragic part of dyslexia is the genius level capabilities of these children. The interconnected pathways of the brain 0

35

35points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

My mom's best friend. She divorced her husband and was awarded full custody of their daughter. His family was a s**t-show.

He kidnapped his daughter, and he and his parents just disappeared. (This was easier in 1977 than it is now.)

She tried hiring a PI, but couldn't afford one.

So she started learning how to trace people on her own. In the days before the Internet.

She spent years doing this whenever she wasn't waitressing.

She did find her daughter in ''81, but by this time her daughter was poisoned against her.

Mom's friend went on to get her PI license, and was a PI specializing in woman's issues for the next two decades.

I dont know what happened to her after that. If she's alive, she would be in her '80s I think.

Edit:
Thank you for the upvotes everyone. There's a couple of common questions that people are asking about this.

1. Did mom and daughter reconcile? I asked my mother about that. She lost contact with her friend when mom left Texas over 20 years ago. The last she knew, no. They never reconciled. They communicated. That's it.

2. What about the police? As I explained to another comment, it was different in the 70's. Unlike now, it was easy to assume a new identity, and easy to "get lost". It was hard to find people who didn't want to be found. The most popular method of assuming a new identity became a plot point in the 1986 movie "Highlander".

- Police usually considered kidnapping by a spouse to be a "civil manner" to be handled by the courts. It was low priority for the police.

- Amber alerts weren't a thing until 1996. Before that were just milk cartons with pictures of kids on them.

Edit:
Amber alerts started in 1996. Before that, there were several other ways to highlight missing kids. Adam Walsh was famous. Kids appeared on television - often after the show "America's Most Wanted".

calladus , Dmytrok Report

POST

pen is enjoyer

pen is enjoyer

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

sad

38

38points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

I had a girlfriend that worked for one for a while. She said that the majority of their work was insurance scams. She took a lot of pictures of guys who said they were hurt on the job playing golf and surfing and such.

catfarts99 , Tim Lenz Report

POST

Pandaroo

Pandaroo

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

My dad was a PI at one stage and this was literally his whole job.

44

44points

reply

View more comments

My boyfriend’s family hired a PI to do some covert geneology, because they’re white but all have thick wiry hair that only black hairdressers can handle. And because there are things older folks in these parts Just Don’t Talk About.

Turns out there’s a fair amount of Lumbee Indian (a community founded by disenfranchised Native Americans and escaped slaves back in the day) in boyfriend’s family, which explains the hair.

Tiny_Parfait , Herrick District Library Report

POST

HarriMissesScotland

HarriMissesScotland

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Ancestry.com would have been helpful as well.

18

18points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

Had a babysitter we thought was stealing from us, luckily our neighbor was a PI couple and they ran a background check for $10. Babysitter had a string of DUIs and a few days before a large fine was due, my camera disappeared. He also stole money from my kids piggy banks.

He sort of disappeared but was also really into Instagram so I surreptitiously followed him. He started babysitting again for a single mom (easy target) and posted a lot of ‘fun’ pics with this family. I tracked down the mom and sent her a long email detailing out his whole scam. She said we were right and it was clear he’d been stealing from her business.

He has since gone underground but I still Google him regularly to see what he’s up to. He’s been able to avoid arrests for a while now.

dewayneestes , Toro Report

POST

Who Panda 420

Who Panda 420

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago (edited)

• Report

At least op is watching them.. it's a shame they can keep doing it. What kind of pig steals out of a kids piggy bank?

51

51points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

When I met my wife, she seemed to have a normal modern family. Two moms, two dads. Over time it became apparent her step-dad wasn’t around much. Holidays, birthdays, you name it, he’d pop in to say hi, grab a nap, whatever, then take off again. My wife’s family thought this was normal, just the way it had always been since they were teenagers. He claimed to have a job following FedEx trucks around the state to prevent theft and drug trafficking. But I thought it strange and started making jokes about him having another family.

Well, I guess it got my sister in law thinking because she gets a favor from the PI at her law firm. Sure enough, he has not two but THREE wives around the state, and five other (step)children between them. My sister-in-law breaks the news to her mother who immediately changes the locks and files for divorce. They never speak again. Cold Turkey. Divorce is even uncontested. As a FU they also send the report to his other wives.

Edit:
I thought I was late to the thread so I wasn't expecting as many reactions. Thanks for the gold! To answer some of the questions. Yes, polygamy is illegal but it's not really worth prosecuting except to make an example of people. I don't know if my MIL was his first wife or not. I do know that one of the wives had been married and divorced him between their marriage. How does it happen? Counties don't exactly share marriage certificates. His families were pretty far from each other.. Was their wedding legal? No idea, IANAL. Probably the separation was just a formality for paperwork purposes which is why it went to court, why it went uncontested and why he never showed up again. I think he reached out once or twice but she never answered the phone. And if he ever showed up again, we weren't told about it. My MIL is a strong independent woman of faith who just "didn't know". He fooled his step daughters for 15 years too.

barcodez1 , Kim Siever Report

POST

Hydra (she/her)

Hydra (she/her)

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago (edited)

• Report

whats IANAL? I Am Not A ___? Edit: the heck am I getting downvoted for I asked a question about a term I didn’t understand

198

198points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

I used to work for an insurance defense firm years ago. Best PI story I have is where we hired one to tail a guy who was suing our client for an injury that wasn’t entirely our client’s fault. The guy was refusing to settle, and was insisting on going to trial even though we offered a fair sum that would’ve paid his medical bills. The PI we hired got some good pics that showed the plaintiff was nowhere near as “injured” as he claimed, but the crown jewel of the photos was one where the guy was walking on a pier with a woman who wasn’t his wife. Had his hand on her a*s and everything.

Later in a deposition, the attorney slid the picture to the plaintiff and said something like “Mr. Smith (obviously not his real name), who is the woman in this picture? We would like to schedule a deposition with her as well.” The guy went ghost white and told his attorney he wanted to settle.

At least he was smart enough to realize that if his wife found out the other woman was gonna be deposed, he was gonna have to get a family law attorney as well, because the divorce papers would soon follow.

EDIT: Wow, this blew up overnight! To clarify some points in the comments, no, this is not technically blackmail. Our firm had the PI follow him to see if he was faking his injuries, which is standard operating procedure, not to see if he was cheating on his wife (we had no idea he was doing that). The fact the woman in the picture was his mistress was irrelevant. The attorney would have asked for the person's contact info even if she were just a friend, coworker, cousin, or whatever. The attorney wanted to depose her to ascertain the extent of the guy's injuries. At no point did the attorney say "drop the suit or we'll out your affair to your wife."

Liberi_Fatali561 , Global Panorama Report

POST

Random Anon

Random Anon

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

2 years ago

• Report

Eh I'm just a jaded fella so I'm going to ask, so what if it's implied blackmail? He pulled a hustle and they pull a counter hustle. Fair game there as far as I can tell.

21

21points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

Not me but my grandfather did.

He was separated from his brother when the Japanese occupied China. My grandfather safely made it to Hong Kong and eventually to Canada. His brother made it to Singapore or Malaysia according to family friends back then. So my grandfather spent a good 5 years or so working with a PI to find his brother so they can be reunited. Sadly, with just a picture and the fact many people died in the war, it wasn’t much to go on. My grandfather is still alive and always thinks of his brother. It’s his wish to see him one more time.

Edit: Provided response in thread below and copied here.

Wow thank you everyone for the kind wishes and suggestions.

To let you know- my grandfather worked with this PI many years ago, say between 1999- 2004ish? And maybe a few touch points here and there in the years after. My grandfather was disheartened because he made many trips to Asia over the years thinking “this is it”. But it just cost more money and got his hopes up. No clue if the brother married, if he even made it to Singapore or Malaysia (or it can be even outside of Asia all together). Not even sure if he’s alive. He would be in his late 80s now (estimated). He has not spoken about it directly with me, just with my mom (his daughter). If I’m being honest, we haven’t exactly encouraged him to continue the search either. All my aunts and uncles tell him to move on, and enjoy his time in peace rather than in constant yearning. I don’t have the status in the family to overstep my mom and her siblings and start bringing up the past and asking him to consider a DNA kit. If I do, I’d have to do it in secret and consider the emotional investment my grandfather may make.

He’s not living unhappily by any means- he has a great life and quite accomplished with raising 6 kids to have families/homes of their own. We each take care of him. He has tons of friends, likes to cook, use WeChat to talk to anyone and everyone, travel (precovid) and read. He does want to see his brother, but as time goes by the memory and drive becomes more faint and eventually the day-to-day life just makes it easier for him to accept the circumstances.

yuri_yk , Andrew Report

POST

Nikki Hilton

Nikki Hilton

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

The OP using the word "yearning" was the heartbreaker.

47

47points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

One of my jobs is to search for long lost relatives (usually several generations ago). Typically, the case is about old plots of land where I should track down owners (or their heirs) to update the land registry because a state wants to build there something.

Let me tell you, the amount of information you can find on Google and in public records is astounding if you know where to look.

Der_genealogist , Elvert Barnes Report

POST

James Edwards

James Edwards

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

I searched info on Google about myself and found out I died in 1876, same birth date, same birth town, only one hundred years difference.

69

69points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

Back in the 90s my dad had a friend who owned a Renault clio williams and one day someone stole his car (the car was located in Athens). So after reporting the event to the police he really wanted to get his car back (because it was expensive) and he hired a private investigator to find his car. After like a week he received a call from the investigator telling him that his car was located at a junkyard outside of Thessaloniki. So he went at Thessaloniki and found his car, so he rushed inside a police station to inform them that his car is located at X location. Believe it or not the officer told him not to mess with the owner of the junkyard (this junkyard was known for stealing cars etc) and hope he will get his money back from insurance.

Edit: sorry for any mistakes I am not a native speaker

a12345ks1 , crash71100 Report

POST

kcanded

kcanded

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

You did just fine!

36

36points

reply

View more comments

I'm a private investigator and I'll tell you that a lot of people are right. Your spouse is cheating on you

ableseacat14 , Joe Le Merou Report

POST

Vepřík Boubelatý

Vepřík Boubelatý

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

If you have to ask, you´re probably right.

35

35points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

My Dad got my Mom pregnant when she was 15. Her Dad forcibly put the child up for adoption.

Nobody ever talked about it but I found out about it because my Dad became an alcoholic who would blackout and talk about what was bothering him. He couldn't take the losses of his oldest Son, My Mom who cheated on him, and the death of my little Sister.

My (now) ex-wife decided that she wanted to find my older Brother but my Paternal Grandfather would not cooperate. She asked my Mom about it and got as many details as she could. I was against looking for him because he probably didn't know that he was adopted and I didn't want to screw that up for him. After she got my parent's hopes up I agreed to hire a P.I.

The next day we had pictures of a guy who looks like my Uncle, a website to a small company that he had founded, and links to his profile for a lot of the high profile jobs that he's had. We found out that he had been adopted by a college professor at what I would call the Harvard of the Midwest. The guy had a good life, much better than he would have had.

I gathered the P.I.'s report, pictures of his biological family, and some medical information that might be of use, and I sent him a package via certified mail. He never responded.

Years later I found out that he was divorced around that same time so I thought that maybe his ex didn't give him the information. I joined FaceSpace just to find him. He was there with pics, so I knew that it was the same guy. I sent him a PM stating who I am, why I was contacting him, and why he had been put up for adoption. I added the request that he would, at least, tell me to go to Hell or something so that I would have some kind of closure for my parents. His page went private and I never heard from him.

My Mom died a few years ago. She was glad to know that he was well, and successful but never got to meet him. My Dad is doing very well now but I know that it still eats away at him.

MotherFu*kinEeyore , Adam Tinworth Report

POST

ispeak catanese

ispeak catanese

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Adoption can be very hard on the children given up.

23

23points

reply

View more comments

My good friend was only raised by her mom growing up, who would always tell her that her father had walked out on them when she was a baby and that he had never wanted anything to do with her. My friend took it really hard and struggled through her entire childhood believing in that... but then a couple of years ago she hired a private investigator to see if they could find him again.

Well, they did, and it turned out what her mother told her was a lie; her dad is seriously one of the sweetest snd softhearted guys I’ve ever met. He left because my friend’s mom forced him out when he uncovered her infidelity. I guess he wasn’t actually her dad, because her mom cheated on him while they were together, but he loved her like she was his own and has only avoided contacting her because her mom convinced him he legally has no rights to her child— and, even worse, she threatened to accuse him of molesting my friend when she was a baby if he reached out anyway.

Thankfully my friend is an adult now and has moved out from her mom’s house, and she can have the relationship with her dad that she always wanted. It just sucks that she had to go through the effort of hiring a PI to achieve that.

EDIT: I talked to my friend to get a few more details and apparently the “left when she was a baby” thing was a bit of an exaggeration; he left when she was about 22 months old. He only found out she wasn’t his child a month prior to that.

To be quite honest, I never questioned that it might be weird for them to be so connected to each other emotionally because in his eyes she is his daughter and her eyes, he is the dad she briefly had and then was denied access to her entire life. They have a great relationship now and she’s gone NC with her mom.

EDIT 2: Finding him had to do with tracking down the man whose name is on her birth certificate. That man is her dad, aka not her bio dad.

marburusu , Simóca & Annus Report

POST

William Hicks

William Hicks

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

I knew a woman with a similar story. Didn't hire a PI, but found her dad and apparently her mom had taken her and her brother when they were little and moved to another state, then lied about the dad.

3

3points

reply

A PI tried to contact me about my father a few years ago. She was extremely rude and pushy, and intimidated my sweet mother by showing her a pistol she wore on her waistband. She called me once, yelling at me about why I was hiding from her, calling me my father’s name. Took her 5 minutes to stop talking long enough for me to explain who I was. Warned her that if she ever threatened my mother again, I was just as armed and I’d call an actual police officer to calm her a*s down. She never bothered us again.

HeartAche93 , marcusrg - Hello, nice to meet you! Report

POST

madbakes

madbakes

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

I don't think that person was a licensed PI.

58

58points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

My dad hired a PI in the mid 90s in Eastern Europe to find out if one of his business partners was stealing from him. Instead he found out his own brother was stealing from him. He refused to believ the PI and his brother robbed him blind. Took a huuuuuge amount of money and left him with gigantic debt. He still forgave him.

anon , Tyler Report

POST

Peder Thompson

Peder Thompson

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

That's really unfortunate that he forgave him. Given the opportunity, he will do it again. People like that prey on the kindness of others.

20

20points

reply

View more comments

My uncle disappeared without a trace in the 1990s, about a year after his daughter was kidnapped and murdered. We hired a PI to track him down, and the PI found next to nothing. As my uncle had developed a heroin problem following my cousin's murder, the best guess the PI had is that he had died by OD or suicide, and that his body hadn't been found or he was reported as a John Doe.

Imagine my family's surprise two decades later, when my uncle calls my mother, who is his only sibling. My grandfather had been on his deathbed for a month, and somehow the uncle found out. He arrived to make a show of paying his respects, in an attempt to get money out of his parents. When it was clear he wasn't getting anything, he took off once again.

He never gave us a real or detailed explanation of why he left, where he'd been, and what he'd been doing. He left no address or telephone number and made no attempts to remain in contact.

The PI we hired must have been a s***ty one, that or my uncle really knows how to disappear.

Gapingyourdadatm , Mendhak Report

POST

ERIKA H.

ERIKA H.

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

I find this one really sad. He clearly could not overcome the pain of losing his child and turned to drugs. I don't blame him for wanting to disappear

48

48points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments

I had one hired against me, and they found out everything. Tattoos that aren't visible normally, the address I lived at in a different country, medical records from an accident that happened 6 years prior, so many random things that aren't publicly available.

heyjoooo , Elvert Barnes Report

POST

Katie Lutesinger

Katie Lutesinger

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

2 years ago

• Report

Good grief that's sleazy.

32

32points

reply

View More Replies...

View more comments